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The 10 DOS Commandments

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Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

An expert is one who knows more and more,
about less and less
until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

taken from Mahoney & Kaktus music discs

Moonwalker left to join Beyond.

from Eurocharts 18

What is the meaning of life?

I'm a scientist, and I refuse talk about things that I don't know anything about!

said Kaktus to Zike during an interview.

How can I get started in the scene?

........Tune in, turn on, get wired.

taken from Hollywood's FAQ

Do you ever have virtual dreams? :)

"Cool guys don't dream.Cool guys can see their dream in the middle of the day."

said Alien of Virtual Dreams to Hollywood during an interview

Computer, quotes and other funny stuff

A novice was trying to fix a broken Lisp machine by 
turning the power off and on.

Knight, seeing what the student was doing, spoke sternly: 
"You cannot fix a machine by just power-cycling it with
no understanding of what is going wrong."

Knight turned the machine off and on.

The machine worked.

taken from "jokes told at the MIT AI Lab"

Introducing Windows'95

It lets you drop files anywhere on the desktop... Imagine that!
It has a trash you can open and take things back out of again... Imagine that!!
It lets you use more than eight characters to name your files... Imagine that!!!

taken from a Macintosh advert

Imagine that CRAY decides to make a personal computer. It contains 16 600Mhz
Alpha-based processors executing in parallel, has 512 megabytes of RAM, 4.5
Gigabytes of disk storage, a holographic display with a resolution of
4096x4096 pixels, an artificial intelligence OS, does 24-bit 3D graphics in
realtime, relies entirely on voice recognition for input, fits in your shirt
picket, and costs $300.

What is the first question the computer community asks?

"Is it DOS compatible?"

by Joe F. Walenciak

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any
invention in human history with the possible exceptions of
handguns and tequila.

by Mitch Ratliffe

Intel inside... the worlds most widely used warning label.

Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who
understand what they do not manage, and those who manage
what they do not understand.

by ?

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Murphy's Law

Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.

by Kulawiec

The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it.

by ?

The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.

by Theodore Roosevelt

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.

Albert Einstein

A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do.

Compatible: Gracefully accepts erroneous data from any source.

Every bug you find is the last one.

Have you heard about the new Cray? It's so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.

'Calm down -- it's only ones and zeros.'

If a train station is where the train stops, what is a work station?

Life would be so much easier if we could just look at the source code.

Programming is an art form that fights back.

To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.

When all else fails, read the instructions.

When we write programs that "learn", it turns out we do and they don't.

The 10 DOS Commandments



  1. I am thy DOS, thou shall have no OS before me, unless Bill Gates gets a
     cut of the profits therefrom.

  2. Thy DOS is a character based, single user, single tasking, standalone
     operating system. Thou shall not attempt to make DOS network,
     multitask, or display a graphical user interface, for that would be a
     gross hack.

  3. Thy hard disk shall never have more than 1024 sectors. You don't need
     that much space anyway.

  4. Thy application program and data shall all fit in 640K of RAM. After
     all, it's ten times what you had on a CP/M machine. Keep holy this 640K
     of RAM, and clutter it not with device drivers, memory managers, or
     other things that might make thy computer useful.

  5. Thou shall use the one true slash character to separate thy directory
     path. Thou shall learn and love this character, even though it appears
     on no typewriter keyboard, and is unfamiliar. Standardization on where
     that character is located on a computer keyboard is right out.

  6. Thou shall edit and shuffle the sacred lines of CONFIG.SYS and
     AUTOEXEC.BAT until DOS functions adequately for the likes of you.
     Giving up in disgust is not allowed. [ Oops, I have sinned. Kim ]

  7. Know in thy heart that DOS shall always maintain backward compatibility
     to the holy 2.0 version, blindly ignoring opportunities to become
     compatible with things created in the latter half of this century. But
     you can still run WordStar 1.0.

  8. Improve thy memory, for thou shall be required to remember that
     JD031792.LTR is the letter that you wrote to Jane Doe four years ago
     regarding the tax deductible contribution that you made to her
     organization. The IRS Auditor shall be impressed by thy memory as he
     stands over you demanding proof.

  9. Pick carefully the names of thy directories, for renaming them shall be
     mighty difficult. While you're at it, don't try to relocate branches of
     the directory tree, either.

 10. Learn well the Vulcan Nerve Pinch (ctrl-alt-del) for it shall be thy
     saviour on many an occasion. Believe in thy heart that everyone reboots
     their OS to solve problems that shouldn't occur in the first place.

by eckman

Scene related stuff...

Computer, quotes and other funny stuff

Introducing Windows'95

Intel inside... the worlds most widely used warning label.

The 10 DOS Commandments

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