NO RAY OF LIGHT FOR WILKINS
Ray Wilkins great player, crap manager. Relegated with QPR, unable to get automatic promotion for Fulham despite Mohammed Al-Fayed's millions and now, we hear, about to be sacked by the amusingly-nicknamed Cottagers at the end of the play-offs whether they go up or not.
Apparently, Kevin Keegan has already lined up Wilkins' replacement as team manager it's Paul Bracewell, who is currently playing and coaching under ‘The Crab'. Our sources say another Fulham player, Peter Beardsley, has been tapped up about a possible coaching vacancy, too… should make for an interesting team talk this weekend, that…

DIXON UNHAPPY WITH THE BOYS FROM DOCK GREEN
With the title in the bag and the double on the way, Lee Dixon should be a happy man at the moment. So why is he wearing the look of Jack Dee after some particularly bad news? It can't be anything do with the imminent relegation to Division Two of his boyhood favourites Manchester City, can it? Er, not it can't.
What's peeving Lee is the fact that the police have forced Arsenal to indefinitely postpone the testimonial game for the defender, which was scheduled for Monday 25 May. Mindful of the fact that the FA Cup final might go to a replay, which would be held the previous Wednesday, the boys in blue have decided that they can't find the men to cover two major night matches in London in less than a week and have forced the postponement. All very sensible, but not exactly what Dixon, whose testimonial committee spent weeks in negotiations with opponents Benfica, wanted to hear.

NORMAN HUNTER GOES CRUISING. BUT NOT THAT KIND OF CRUSING…
Looking for a bargain holiday? Forget about your local bucket shop or spending three hours in front of Teletext we've got one right here for you at Football365, thanks to a magnificent press release we've just received which is cleverly headed ‘P&O CRUISES REACH FEVER PITCH'.
P&O are offering potential cruisers the chance to spend 12 nights around the coast of Spain and Portugal with ‘member of the Leeds United Glory Days squad Norman Hunter and FA coach Ronnie Glavin' or 13 nights headed for Casablanca, Lanzarote and Tenerife in the company of Allan Mullery and Gordon Banks.
The cost of each cruise which includes priceless after-dinner anecdotage and ‘opportunities for matches on board' is a very reasonable £1545 per person.

BECKHAM ENJOYS NOSH SPICE
Thanks to 365's extensive network of spies, we can exclusively reveal that Manchester United and England's David Beckham had a curry with five mates back home at The Tanamari in South Woodford, Essex, on Wednesday night. The fiancee of Victoria ‘Posh Spice' Adams had a selection of starters ( that included bhajis and samosas revealed our source) followed by jalfrezi with butter chicken and keema nan on the side. But he eschewed the lager his mates were scarfing down, slurping a jug of water instead.
Then, says our source, he looked like he was really enjoying the mints that came with the bill, which came to £110. And they split that six ways.
If you've seen a footballer off duty, grass him up to The Knowledge by emailing stevea@football365.co.uk

BRINKSMANSHIP PAYS OFF FOR GREGORY
How good a job has John Gregory done at Aston Villa since replacing the deeply unpopular Brian Little? You can get a decent indication from dressing room reaction to the manager's recent demand that all out-of-contract players sign new deals by 1 June.
At some clubs, that kind of brinksmanship would have been greeted with sarcastic ‘oooooh' noises and the raising of imaginary handbags in best Vic and Bob style. At Villa, however, Mark Bosnich and Riccardo Scimeca have already backed down, such is their regard for Gregory. Most observers still expect Steve Staunton to seek a big payday elsewhere, however, although former club Liverpool's interest seems to have cooled significantly of late.
Meanwhile, Villa are joining the long list of clubs interested in Bolton winger Alan Thompson and will spend up to £5 million to get him.

SPANISH SHOOT-OUT BREAKS TV RECORDS
More than a third of all Spaniards watched Barcelona's thrilling Spanish Cup shoot-out victory over Majorca, smashing TV records. Over 13 million watched the final, won by Barca on the 16th spot kick, beating the previous record of 11.9m for Spain's crucial 1993 World Cup qualifier against Denmark.

WEAH'S TEARS
AC Milan striker George Weah has admitted he cried after the disastrous Italian Cup final defeat to Lazio which leaves Fabio Capello's team needing a wild-card into the InterToto Cup if they are to play in Europe next season.
Said Weah: I cried the other night, I cried a lot. Not because we'd lost a game, but because there were so many people who didn't do what they should have."