				THE SHIT LIST

Ghost Shit:
	You know you've  shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but no shit 
	in the bowl.
Teflon Coated Shit:
	Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces 
	of shit on the toiler paper. You have to look in the toilet bowl to 
	be sure you did it.
Gooey Shit:
	This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and 
	it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your 
	underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid 
	marks on the toilet.
Second Thought  Shit:
	You're all done wiping your ass and you're about to stand up when you 
	realise it......you've got some more.
Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit:
	This kind is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come 
	until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.
Bali Belly Shit:
	You shit so much you lose 5 kilos.
Right Now Shit:
	You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head 
	out before you get your pants down.
King Kong or Commode Choker Shit:
	This shit is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless 
	you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind 
	of shit usually happens at someone else's house.
Wet Cheeks Shit:
	This shit hits the water sdeways and makes a BIG splash that gets 
	your ass wet.
Wish Shit:
	You sit  there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no shit.
Cement Block or Oh God Shit:
	You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you shit.
Snake Shit:
	This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at 
	least three feet  long.
Cork Shit (Also Known as Floater Shit):
	Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My God! How 
	do I get rid of it? This shit usually happens at someone else's house. 
Mexican Food Shit (also called Screamers) :
	You'll know it's alright to eat again when your asshole stops burning.
Beer Drunk Shit:
	This happens the day after the night before. Normally your shit 
	doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD. Usually there's somebody 
	standing outside waiting to use the bathroom. This kind of shit also 
	usually happens at someone else's house.

