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ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-ú  L Y N C H  M O B  ú-ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
³ Title: The Airlines suck                              Ø   Date:  08/16/94  ³      
ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´
³ Issue Number: 018   Ø         Theme: General Bitching Ø   Author: Leonardo ³
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ

        Ok, well in the past 2-3 weeks I have taken 6 flights to various
places, and I have come to the conclusion AIRLINES SUCK!  My first flight was
from LAX (Los Angeles Intl.) to Toronto Intl. Airport, which if you don't 
know, is a 5 hour flight.  One week later I went back for another 5 hours of 
flying and 3 hours of jet lag.  Two days later I left LAX to Honolulu Intl. 
which is again 5 hours of flying and 3 hours of jet lag the other way.  Then
from Honolulu went on to Maui Airport.  Then a week later whent from Maui to
Honolulu, then Honolulu back home to LAX, for a final 5 hours of flying and
3 hours of Jet lag (which i am now suffering from).

        My flights to and from Canada were not to bad for two reasons, it was
a nice airline (Air Canada) and was without the ever-pleasant company of my
family.  I will tell you now, YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR!  Lemme say first off,
I work for my money (well I used to) so don't think I'm some spoiled rich ass,
(Although I am, but not this time).  I spent almost $500.00 for a coach seat,
and it was a nice flight, seat was attractive, comfortable, and complete.  
The food was good and so was pretty much everyone else.
        My Hawaii flights were of a different sort, unfortunately.  I will 
start with a description of my family.  The #1 reason I hate flying with my
family is my sister.  She is a loud, unintelligent, bitch.  She is 16 years
old and still thinks the world revolves around her.  On the way to Hawaii 
first she wanted the window seat which she of course got, then she wanted the 
aisle which I gave to her in exchange for the window seat, then she wanted 
the window seat back so I told her to kiss my ass.  Then she began to pout and
whine to my parents, and for once they actually ignored her.  Then she tried 
her tactic of "If I make things difficult for everyone they will give in and
I will get what I want", I of course recognized this immediately and proceded 
to make things harded for her, so she gave up and began to whine to my parents
again so they told her to shut up and so she pouted until she realized no one
gave a shit about her.  My dad is cool about almost everything so I won't bag
on him, and my mom is usually cool too, so no complaints for now.  
        Now, about the flight.  The second I stepped on the plane I could 
tell.  The seats were Red, Orange, and Purple, so the plane looked like 70's
wallpaper.  They were also about a foot wide.  And of course the first thing
I noticed was the plane was hot and humid as fuck and that the A/C didn't 
work.  So we take off and fly for about an hour, when the captian comes on the
intercom and says that the Air Conditioner is creating to much heat and that 
we would have to turn around and go back to LAX, yee haw!  So we get to LA, 
(where we left from) at about 12:30pm.  At 4:30pm, we get to take back off.
And fly 5 hours.  Funfunfun!  Now for the flight back, the seats were smaller 
and in 3's instead of 2's.  There were about 10 babies and two drunk assholes
who thought they were the center of attention.  Of course my sister never shut 
up and talks about shit no one wants to hear because she is a babbling moron.
My seat was wonderful, the right arm handle was held together with duct tape,
and the seat smelled like hell.  The food was like gerbil feed and i didn't 
get a knife (no big deal but pretty fucking sad) and so I had to wait to eat 
until that fat stewardess came back.
        Oh well, I guess you can all tell flying sucks so later.