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ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ-ú  L Y N C H  M O B  ú-ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
³ Title: Ways not to pick up bitches                    Ø   Date:  07/25/94  ³      
ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´
³ Issue Number: 017   Ø         Theme: Dating Help      Ø   Author: Leonardo ³
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ

        Well since you're a computer geek for reading this I will assume you
don't have a girlfriend.  Well maybe you don't know how to meet them.  If that
is the case then I will give you help.  Now since no one has a clue what 
women like or want (because they are all different) there is no one way to 
pick them up that will always work, so instead I will show you some things I
discovered that usually won't work.

        1) Don't drool when you start talking to her.
        
        2) Don't say "Hey bitch!  Come over to my house and lemme show ya
        a little something I learned in prison!"

        3) If you like her and she decides to meet you in the mall so you can
        hang out together, don't pussy out and run and hide in a shoe store
        after you see her like Polyphemus did.  (That was the saddest thing I 
        ever saw in my life.)

        4) Don't sit and talk about computers.

        5) Don't kick her to the ground, sit on her and tell her you like her.

        6) If you are talking with another friend about females and one you
        are interested in is within hearing distance don't yell, "I saw some
        RAD titties today" (Greet goes to that guy in the break room at Wild
        Rivers yesterday)

        7) If you like her and she tells you to call her, don't be afraid to
        call her, SHE TOLD YOU TO! (Greet goes to Bloodstirke)

        8) If your pencil falls in her lap, when she give it back to you don't
        start smelling the pencil.  (Greet goes out to La Sexorcist)
        Oh yeah, and don't get the pencil yourself either.

        9) If you go to dinner, don't forget your money.

        10) Don't pick your nose.

        11) If you are under 16, don't have your parents pick her up.

        12) Don't write her a note telling her how lame you are and what a 
        geek you are then at the end ask if she'll go out with you anyways.
        (Greet goes out to Polyphemus)

        13) Don't try to impress her with how Hard-k0r3 31!73 you are by 
        talking shit all night.

        14) Don't call them bitches.

        15) Don't use jokes you heard the night before on Comic Strip Live
        because she probably saw the show too.

        16) Don't walk up to her and start smelling her.

        17) Don't say "I like every bone in your body, especally mine"

        18) Don't say "If I tell you your body is sexy, will you hold it
        against me?"

        19) Don't say "I forgot my phone number, can I borrow yours?"

Ok, well that's all I can think of for now so this is where the article ends.
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