旼컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴-� L Y N C H M O B �-컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴커 � Title: How to fuck over your school � Date: 07/18/94 � 쳐컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴캑 � Issue Number: 008 � Theme: Anarchy � Author: Leonardo � 읕컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴컴켸 Ok, well first off, after writing an article as shitty as LYNCH004.TXT I felt it necessary to write one a little more possible, and a tad more fun. Now then, since you are reading this, I am going to assume you are currently enrolled in some sort of school. If you are not, then you should go back to your school and get a fucking education because you are a clueless asshole for reading an article about how to destroy your school. I got my inspiration from numerous textfiles, and some I came up with myself (it doesn't mean they are original, I jsut thought of 'em myself). If you don't care about my inspiration, then fuck you, go slit your dick with a fork. If you don't have a dick then you don't belong anywhere near a computer or this textfile so burn your hair and have a nice day. Now on with the destruction, I will start with the classics. 1) Get so0p3r glue (or some sort of cement) and put it in the door locks before class, then you are all locked out, Boo hoo. 2) Glue lockers shut 3) Steal anything and everything you can find or get from the teacher's desk. 4) If your teacher is old and has a bad back, stack books under desks. -greet- Gumby and Cannabis, hope you killed Mrs. McKnight 5) Light M-80's or larger in the halls, trashcans, lunches, lockers, class pets, teachers, desks. Be sure to use a timer so you are a safe distance from any suspicion. If you don't know how to use or make a timer than you are a faggot, go but fuck Adam Wheeler or Max Roth. 6) Make a Sharapnal Grendage and set it off anywhere (RUN FOR COVER). To do this, take metal scraps (or plastic if you are a pussy), put an M-80 or M-1000 in the center of a jar, (suspended) and then surround it with metal scraps. (Use plastic if you don't want to kill anyone) 7) Spit gum onto the carpet and grind it in as hard as you can with your foot 8) If you have tall plastic sprinklers like we used to (greet goes out to Gumby for that), kick them over. 9) Take a pellet gun (or if you have heavy windows, use a .22) and shoot out the windows. 10) If your school has a computer network, drop it to dos and format the harddrives. 11) If you become a student aide you can have access to just about any info on the school or students you want. (I did in 8th grade) 12) Burn the school down Now for some creative techniques 13) Let insects, snakes, lizards, rats, cats, dogs, pigs, horses, buffalo, cows, etc. loose in the halls 14) One of the best ways I have ever heard was to take down the American flag, raise your own with a proper picture or slogan (if you can't figure out what goes here, go jack off and get a clue). There is a way to tie the rope so that they cannot even get it down without sending some poor Mexican Janitor (oh Custodian, sorry) up there to get it. But I forgot how so fuck you. 15) Another good way I read, was to get a group of people, and march up and down singing "Starspangled Banner", and wave flags and shit, eventually when they ask you to stop call the local newspaper and tell them your school is run by communists. 16) Start an underground magazine and pass it around, include personal info on teachers and staff members (leave the few cool teachers alone if you have any, you don't want them to quit do you?) 17) Send letters of resignation from teachers to the principal, learn how to forge their signature. Or leave notes in teacher's mail boxes saying they've been fired. 18) Leave cryptic messages and make sure they are all around the school, make the Staff think -they- cought on, they won't know whats going to happen (because nothing will), they'll just know, "Tuesday's the day", and hopefully shit their pants. 19) Tap into the P.A. system and play your favorite Nazi Tapes 20) Come to school naked 21) If you have balls, when giving an oral report, piss in your pants. See what happens. If you do, call me, I wanna know :) 22) Eat something to make you puke, then aim for the thing it will fuck up the most. (Be sure you do this in class) 23) Jump a teacher, ram an M-80 with an extended wick up his ass, glue his ass shut, light the wick that you remembered to leave sticking out his hole. 24) If a teacher keeps a water bottle in the class room, bring a bottle of Vodka, and when he/she leaves the room, spike it. Then go to the principal and say that you smelled cheap booze on Mr. Dumbfuck's breath. Say, you think it was in the bottle of Evian he was drinking. 25) Get a universal remote and when you have Video's in class you can have fun. (greet goes out to Gumby, again.) 26) While giving oral reports give subliminal messages, tell the teacher to suck someone's dick or tell the raddest girl in the area to suck your's. 27) Start massive foodfights, taco sauce smells like shit all day long. (Greet goes to Gumby) 28) De-rail a train and reposition the tracks so they go into your homeroom or some shit like that. 29) On major tests that don't matter because you've flunked so hard or got such a high 'A', disrupt the class as long as you can, once you've been thrown out create a major scene, dramatize something crazy, or repeat a scene from a weird movie like Ernest Blows a Cow. 30) Every five minutes impersonate that damned annoying Pee-Wee Herman laugh. 31) Wear a Halloween costume to school everyday except for Halloween. 32) If you have tables you can move, don't miss this opportunity! Move them in the most inconvenient places you can find, or move them to entirely different places on campus, break into the gym before an assembly and arrange them into a pentagram or something. 33) If there is someone you hate, dig up any embarrasing info you can find, make 100 posters of it and put it up around school where everyone will see it. 34) Write letters about every fucked up thing your school does and give them to anyone and everyone who will listen. 35) Spread rumors about teachers being gay/lesbian. 36) In the middle of a class lecture, stand up, walk straight to the trashcan (make sure it's full), turn it over, shake, then return to your seat without a word or a look to anyone. 37) Fuck with substitute teacher's as much as you can. My freshman English class convinced a sub that we were the Senior English class and that we had to leave earily because there was a graduation party. (It was the last week of school) We almost left then some fag told to truth. (Ok, maybe we didn't almost leave, but we can say we did can't we?) 38) Talk back to the morning announcements. 39) Have conversations with erasers. 40) When no one is doing anything, just go over to the board, pick up the chalk and worship it. 41) In Spanish class while the teacher isn't looking replace the tape with a copy of "Good friends and a bottle of Pills" from Pantera. 42) Start a race war. 43) Write super insane/depressing poems for English. 44) Write about "Why George Washington was the First Nazi" for History 45) Get a friend with s0op3r b@sS Sp3@k3rs in his car to drive by your class every five minutes. 46) Claim to be Native American (if you look at all like it) and refuse to stand for the pledge, then make some politically correct statement and request an appolgy, you'll probably get an interview from MTV, a public appolgy from President Clinton, and the school board kissing your ass for years. (only if you fuss enough) 47) Steal an eraser and while the teacher isn't looking color it with white crayon, then put it back and wait for him to use it.