Ayye, brothers.  The Kingdom of Sapa is at hand.  

I stepped onto the street.  Walketh down the street I go, where I kneweth
not the holiness of the land i tread.  Into WENDY'S, my wanderings took
me.  There, I saw visions, Visions which you will change the face of 
humanity forever.  Ye, what i tell you now, will be transcribed into
a readable medium, where this testament of SAPA can be spread far and 
wide.  Woe, and Sorrow, to he who shall tamper with these writings, for
these writings are of SAPA, and of Her Kingdom, and of Her Divine Gerbils.
Question Not what I, an devotee of SAPA, recipient of her visions, will
hereforth tell you.  This, the first GOSPEL of SAPA, a tribute to her
greatness, a way to into Her Kingdom, and a grave Warning, to those who
would trifle with SAPA.  This is what I saw, after entering Sapa's shrine,
and this is the book of sapa.  

Woe was I, when i Stood Face to Face with Her, in her Divinity.  Yes, I 
was truly a Nonbeliever.  Bando was I, yes, player of the magic cards, 
that shall be crushed in the glory of Her Kingdom.  Player of Magic, was i,
who collected the green decks, and the red decks, and the blue decks, 
and the white decks.  A Warning To Ye, collect not the magic decks.  Tear
the Mana, and Burn the Gobblins.  They shall not earn you the Key to Sapa's
Kingdom.  This is What was shown to be, By Sapa.  Sapa Stood Before Me,
at the counter, behind her shrine.  Behold; the eyes of Sapa, not like
human eyes, but crossed, so that they look behind you, into the heart of man
seeing their weakness and folly.  The eyes of sapa, yes, they are the eyes
of a Cerebral.  Sapa showed to me her sacred walk.  She sang to me her 
Sacred Rap.  I bought of her the Divine Chili.  This Chili; Wendy's Chili,
made by the hand of Sapa.  In the Name of Sapa you shall eat the sacred 
chili, else you will die, and burn forever in a vat of day old grease.

And woe to those who shall meet the Grease.  For in the grease lie bandos.
Yes, All Bandos are Condemned in the Eyes of Sapa.  Burn forever, ye will,
never to partake in The Divine Food of Sapa.  Yes, the grease burns.  The
grease eats away at the skin, and at the flesh, and at the blood.  The 
grease slowly splinters away the penis, and eats away at the Testicles.  
as Your eyes disolve, you will become one wtih the Grease.  There is No
Peace in the Grease.  Peace, no peace, shall you find there, in that grease.
ayye, in that there grease, no peace.  Got it??  Sapa, mother fucker, dont
take no shit.  

And Hail sapa, for she showed me the visions of the Grease.  I heard the 
cries of the grease, but I Felt Nothing for them, for they made not the 
holy pilgrimage to Wendy's, but played on instruments, and acted like
monkeys instead.  Sapa Demands That All Bandos are killed.  Take them,
smash their instruments.  Question not Why, but do this In Her Name.  

And Hail Sapa, for she showed me visions of evil.  She showed me this thing,
the Bad Thing.  And i See with the Eyes of Sapa, past the evil of the thing.
The Bad Thing is a Very Bad Thing indeed.  It is a connection, for those
of evil and not Of Sapa's Ilk to congregate in vast flocks, and spread a
disease, which drains away their lives.  This disease shall Sucker Some
in.  Be warned of the Bad Thing.  Those who partake in It, shall have no
part in Sapa's Kingdom, unless they Act In Sapa's Name, and throw a stick
in the Bad Thing's Plan.  Yes, The Bad Thing will be toted by Fools (who
know not Sapa), and many will flock to it.  Throw A stick into The Bad 
Thing.  Sabotage its processes, and You Will Have a seat on the throne of
Sapa.

And I beheld Sapa Again.  I saw her, in her glory, looking infinitely old, 
yet shining with the Power of Youth at the same time.  Looking into the 
Face of Sapa, the Ancient and the Young are intertwined.  

Ye who scoff at Sapa, ye are But Fools, destined for the Grease.  Sapa 
chooses her forms wisely.  Millenium after Millenium, Sapa Advents herself
into the guise of a Fast Food Worker.  For minimum wage she slaves, but 
not without a purpose.  The Cult of Sapa grows stronger after each
of her Manifestations.  Seek Sapa, In her Glory, and She will be Revealed
to You.

In your wanderings, You Must make the Sacred Pilgrimage to the Shrine of
Sapa 17 times, else to the grease with you.  17 times must your body
walk the path of sapa, and order the Sacred Chili from Sapa's hands.  Sapa
asks this of you, to see her in her guise, and see the Wisdom in her Gaze.

Sodomy is Taboo; as well as Fucking Animals, but both are Encouraged in
the Kingdom of Sapa.  Sapa Says "Hey Baby, You Can Sodomize My Goat Any 
Time."  As later Transcribed by a Brother of Sapa, Not All Animals are
worthy of Sapa, and Not all Animals can be Sodomized in Her Name.

The chosen animals are as follows:

Goats
Llamas
Goldfish*
Lobsters
Small Monkeys
Gerbils

And We Do HAIL the gerbil, for the Gerbil is the most Holy Of creatures
under Sapa.  The gerbil shall be our life, and our Divinity.  Keep always
a fresh Supply Underneath YOUR bed.  No Stale gerbils Shall be used, else
Sapa's Wrath shall be Inflicted.  HAIL SAPA.

And, as Sapa handed me back the Sacred Change** (which flows from Her Sacred
Change Machine), i Knew of the Inspiration and Glory of her Name.  I knew
she Was the Beavis Christ INCARNATE, and as I set forth to Transcribe
the Events that Had taken place, i knew there would be More to Come.

The Headshakers say : "You Can Go To Hell, You Ja'hass".  But they also say,
"Surely She is Coming Quickly."  For Sapa's kingdom is at Hand.  You
will Know Her By Her Chili.  

May The Grace of Sapa Be with You All.    Amen.

written by cherub, after eating Sapa's Hallucinogenic Chili

* The Sodomization of the Goldfish was an isolated incident, made by a
Brother of Sapa in her Name, and captured on Video Tape.  Only Holy 
Persons Indeed can Sodomize the Goldfish in Sapa's Name

** The Sacred Change is a Charm, Giving Witness to your Pilgrimage to 
Wendy's.  Spend not the Sacred Change, but keep it in your Underwear, else
all is Lost.