 
                            "THE SHIT LIST"

GHOST SHIT:..............The kind where you feel the shit
come out, but there is no shit in the toilet.

CLEAN SHIT:..............The kind where you shit it out,
see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

WET SHIT:................The kind where you wipe you're butt
50 times and it feels "un-wiped", so you have to put some
toilet paper between you're butt, and you're underwear so you
won't stain you're underwear.

SECOND WAVE SHIT:.........This happens when you're done
shitting and you've pulled you're pants up, and you realize
that you have to shit some more.

POP-A-VEIN-IN-YOU'RE-FOREHEAD-SHIT:....The kind where you
strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

LINCOLN LOG SHIT:........The kind of shit that is so HUGE,
you're afraid to flush, without first breaking it into little
pieces with the toilet brush.

GASSEY SHIT:............Its so noisy, everyone within earshot
is giggling.

BOOZER SHIT:...........The kind of shit you have the
morning after a long night of drinking.  Its most noticeable
trait is the "skid marks" on the toilet bowl.

CORN SHIT:..............Self Explanatory!

GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-SHIT:...The kind where you want to shit,
but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart.

SPINAL TAP SHIT:........Thats where its hurts so badly coming
out that, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

WET CHEEKS SHIT:........(The Power Dump) The kind that comes
out of you're butt so fast, you're butt cheeks get splashed
with water.

LIQUID SHIT:............The kind where "yellowish-brown"
liquid shoots out of you're butt so fast, it splashes all over
the toilet bowl.

MEXICAN SHIT:...........It smells so bad that it makes you're
nose burn and you're eyes water, PLUS it kills the only living
house plant in the house.

UPPER CLASS SHIT:.......The kind of shit that doesn't smell.

THE SURPRISE SHIT:.......YOU'RE not even at the toilet because
you are SURE that you're only about to fart, but OOOOPS- A-SHIT!

THE DANGLING SHIT:.......This shit refuses to drop into the
toilet, even though you know you are done shitting it.  You just
pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.
