   PERHAPS THE MOST WIDELY-USED TERM IN "MODEMLAND", SECOND ONLY TO 'WARE', IS
THE WORD 'DUDE' (AND THE MANY VARIATIONS THEREOF). THE TITLE OF 'DUDE' IS,
UNDOUBTEDLY, A TERM OF RESPECT, SINCE MANY PEOPLE OFTEN CLAIM THEMSELVES TO
BE DUDES. IN FACT, A SUPER-ELITE PERSON IS OFTEN REFERRED TO AS A "COOL DUDE." 
I KNOW YOU MUST BE SAYING TO YOURSELF, "BUT HOW CAN I BECOME A COOL DUDE?"
WELL, HERE ARE SOME GUIDELINES:
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T LEECH. 
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T KEEP THEIR DISKS IN A CARDBOARD BOX.
 
     COOL DUDES KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE "DOS".
 
     COOL DUDES ARE OVER 15 YEARS O AGE.
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T BITCH AT SOMEONE FOR A TYPO.
 
     COOL DUDES DRINK LOTS OF BEER.
 
     COOL DUDES NEVER DRINK "L.A." BEER.
 
     COOL DUDES DO NOT REFER TO A DICTIONARY EVERY FIVE MINUTES WHILE
     TYPING IN A MESSAGE.
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T LEAVE THEIR COMPUTERS IDLE FOR MORE THAN 24 HOURS.

     COOL DUDES DON'T USE THEIR COMPUTERS 24 HOURS A DAY.
 
     COOL DUDES APPRECIATE IT WHEN A SYSOP GIVES HIM A SECURITY RAISE.

     COOL DUDES DON'T BUY CRACKED WARES, OR ANY WARES, FOR THAT MATTER.
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T SELL CRACKED WARES, THEY TRADE FOR THEM.
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T TRADE "WARE-FOR-WARE."
 
     COOL DDES TYPE AT LEAST 50 WORDS A MINUTE.
 
     COOL DUDES HAVE PATIENCE WHEN THEY ARE CHATTING WITH SOMEONE WHO 
     TYPES 5 WORDS A MINUTE.
 
     COOL DUDES NEVER GO TO BED BEFORE 11:00.
 
     COOL DUDES SLEEP VERY LATE ON THE WEEKENDS.
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T TAKE BITCH BOARDS SERIOUSLY.
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T DRINK MINERAL WATER.
 
     COOL DUDES DON7T KEEP THEIR DISKS IN A METAL BOX.
 
     COOL DUDES ARE WILLING TO TRADE THROUGH THE MAIL IF THE 'THER GUY
     CAN'T TRADE OVER THE PHONE.
 
     COOL DUDES KNOW HOW TO USE DATABASES.
 
     COOL DUDES KNOW WHAT A MUSER IS.
 
     COOL DUDES KNOW WHAT A DIVERSI-DIAL IS.
 
     COOL DUDES HAVE AT LEAST ONE BBS PROGRAM.
 
     COOL DUDES HAVE MORE THAN JUST GAMES IN THEIR LIBRARIES.
 
     COOL DUDES CAN MASTER A GAME WITHIN TWO WEEKS.
 
     COOL DUDES CAN`REMEMBER WHEN THE OUTPOST WAS UP.
 
     COOL DUDES CAN REMEMBER THAT ROGER KRAUSE WAS AN ASSHOLE.

     COOL DUDES HAVE MASTERED BASIC, AND DON'T PROGRAM IN IT ANYMORE.
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T PLOT GRAPHICS WITH BASIC, THEY USE A DRAWING PROGRAM.
 
     COOL DUDES KNOW WHAT RAM AND ROM STAND FOR.
 
     COOL DUDES HAVE SURGE PROTECTORS ON THEIR COMPUTERS.
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T USE A CASSETE RECORDER TO STORE DATA, THEY USE DISK
     DRIVES.
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T STICK DISKS SIDEWAYS INTO DISK DRIVES.
 
     COOL DUDES PUT A CATALOG MENU ON ALL THEIR DISKS.
 
     COOL DUDES ALWAYS HAVE AN EXTRA BLANK DISK, JUST IN CASE.
 
     COOL DUDES HAVE MODEMS.
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T HAVE NETWORKER MODEMS.
 
     COOL DUDES HAVE AUTO-ANSWER AND AUTO-DIAL FEATURES IN THEIR MODEMS.
 
     COOL DUDES KNOW WHAT CODES ARE FOR.
 
     COOL DUDES ALWAYS USE HANDLES.
 
     COOL DUDES GET SICK WHEN THEY HEAR A SONG BY "DEAD OR ALIVE."
 
     COOL DUDES KNOW THAT MONITOR DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN THE THING ON TOP OF 
     THEIR COMPUTERS.
 
     COOL DUDES NUMBER THEIR DISKS, FOR SANITY'S SAKE.
  
     COOL DUDES KNOW HOW TO GET INTO MONITOR.
 
     COOL DUDES HAVE SOME KIND OF RADIO NEAR THEIR COMPUTERS.
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T COVER THEIR EARS WHEN THEY PRINT SOMETHING ON A 
     DOT-MATRIX PRINTER.
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T OWN COLOR PRINTER/PLOTTERS.
 
     COOL DUDES CAN'T AFFORD A COLOR PRINTER/PLOTTER.
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T CALL A BBS IF IT HAS HOURS.
 
     COOL DUDES WOULD LIKE TO PUT UP A BBS.
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T TRY TO CRASH A COOL BBS.
 
     COOL DUDES OCCASIONALLY TRY TO CRASH A SHITTY BBS ONCE IN AWHILE.
 
     COOL DUDES KNOW HOW TO USE AE BOSS BLINDFOLDED.
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T BUY A DISK DRIVE CLEANER EVERY MONTH, THEY RE-USE
     THE OLD ONES.

     COOL DUDES DON'T WORRY ABOUT DIRTY DISK DRIVES.
 
     COOL DUDES KNOW WHAT MUSER STANDS FOR.
 
     COOL DUDES DON'T TRY TO USE SOMEONE ELSE'S ALIAS.
