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		       * THE TOP TEN REASONS TO BUY *
		       *     AN APPLE COMPUTER      *
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		       BY:                    / T \  T  / S \ 
					   ____________________
		      [T]oxic              \                  /
		       [T]urkey            /                  \
			[S]tew            3                    3
WRITERS TODAY:                             \___________________/
 __________                              Straight from the Pot!!!!
 3 OSIRIS 3
 3   &    3
 3 DEMON  3
 3________3
                    

A turd has plagued Silicon Valley and the world. In an age of computer wonder, 
an awful stench wafts through the corridors of today's schools, and a few
unlucky businesses. That stench is THE APPLE!!! 

Why would anyone buy such a foul thing? Let us find out how the minds of these
twisted Apple buyers work. Why DID they buy what they did?

The top ten reasons why...

10. The extensively expandable(as yet, nonexistent) hard disk drive.

9. The exquisite monochrome or four color graphics. I personally prefer the 
plain, puke green.

8. The wonderful price of and IBM compatible, with the high quality of a used
Atari 2600.

7. The super-fast, 300 baud external disk drives.

6. The wonderful sound, in the form of bonks and beeps.

5. CD-ROM capabilities like no other computer. (Namely, NONE!)

4. The enormous amount of accessories availible. 

3. Have you ever tried to get software that you've ever heard of for one of
these!?

2. The amazingly fast speed of 2.5 MHz. (Don't you wish YOUR IBM was THAT 
fast!?)

AND...The number one reason to buy an Apple Computer....

Because if you buy one, you are buying a computer that has an IQ equal to 
yours!

And that is why millions of imbeci--oops, I mean Americans, buy Apple's high-
quality, wonderful products. Your Apple will last you a lifetime! Aren't YOU
lucky!?
