THE LOWLY KNIGHT

KNIGHT : Ye fiend!  How darest thou insult mine courage and grace!  How
Darest thou insult what is most dear to me and leave none for else!  
I shall have thee know, that I shall, I SHALL thrash thee to a pulp, thou
insolent wench for a squire!

KING : What?  He beeth a wench?  How repulsive!

MAIDENS : Oh! Sick!  The unmaidenly wench.

KNIGHT : Here Sire!  Here is the sword of the heinous knight.  I hath earned
it from him in a fair fight!

Maidens : sigh....

Narrator : maidens begin surround the knight.

Squire : But sir!  I hath defeated the dragon!

King : What dragon?  We were talking about a knight with purple dots... etc.

Squire : I hath proof sire!  Here is the tongue of the wretched dragon!

King : What dragon!  There is no dragon in this story! You fool! Where did 
you steal that tongue from?  The local butcher?

Chorus : Ahahhahahahahahahhaha! the foul fool.!  hahahahahhahahahahahaha!

King : I

Chorus : Shut up!!!

King : i

Chorus : Shut up!!!!

Squire : This is the tongue of the dragon that was holding the heinous 
knight's sword!  I had thrashed the dragon, fighting and pleading for help
from the most cowardous knight of mine, when he slipped past, thinking that
there was a beautiful maiden hidden in the cave.  While I fearlessly fought
the dragon.  While I was thrashing, I saw that the weakling had gone behind
and discovered a knight that was tied down. He stole the sword to take some
credit, ran away and left me to fight the dragon.  He thought that I was
soon to meet Death, so he left me for none.  I, here, have thouroughly 
thrashed the dragon and the knight after I untied him and left both for none.

Chorus : Yeah! Yeah!!

King : But she is a maiden!  She can't fight!  No maidens are allowed to 
fight!

Chorus : Shut up you dumb oaf!

King : You shut...

Chorus : No you shut up!

King : no...

Chorus : Shut up!!!

King : n

Chorus : Shut up!!!!!!!

Squire : I demand to be king!

Chorus : You are our leader!

Squire(now a king, really but for names sake it will be kept the same as  
always) : I want the knight tied down to a bench and forced to drink beer
and eat potato chips and dragons' tongues for the rest of his life!

Chorus : He will be tied down and forced to drink beer and potato chips and
dragons' tongues for the rest of his life!

Squire : you forget the bench

Chorus : He will be tied down TO A BENCH and forced to drink beer and potato 
chips and dragons' tongues for the rest of his life!

Knight (now a squire, really but for names sake it will be kept the same as 
allways) : No!! No!!! anything but potato chips and beer!  Anything!

Squire : Lima beans?

Chorus : Yes, yes lima beans!!

Knight : well, maybe not lima beans.

Squire : brussel sprouts?

Chorus : Yes, yes, brussel sprouts!!

Knight : well, maybe not lima beans.

Squire : a freshly baked crossant bun from Germany split in half, with a 
slice of melted Wisconsin Cheese, a fresh slice of ham and a tomato?

Chorus : yes, yes, a freshly baked crossant bun from Germany split in half, 
with a slice of melted Wisconsin Cheese, a fresh slice of ham and a tomato!!

Knight : well, I really don't like the Wisconsin cheese, Californian cheese
is much better than Wisc...

Squire : enough!!!  I shan't take this insolence.  To the dungeon with you!!

Chorus : to the dungeon with you!! yup yup!!!

Squire : Being your new king, I also demand three meals a day, a castle, and 
two dogs that can hop on two feet in a circle.

Chorus : You are our leader!

Squire : I want a castle!

Chorus : (muttering)

Squire : I said I want three meals a day!!

Chorus : muttering!!

Squire : I want two dogs that can hop on two feet in a circle!!!

Chorus : shut up.

Squire : what hath my loyal subjects said to me?!!

Chorus : shut up!!!

Narrator : the once bold king, has become passive, submissive, and willing to
respond. In other words, adamant.  Until one day....

Squire : Sir, sir!  I have terrible news!

                                        The DogCatcher