From: andy@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu (Andrew Hackard)
Subject: More things you never see on ST...
Date: 23 Sep 91 06:44:49 GMT

[Stolen from rec.humor.funny.  Enjoy...Andrew]

Some other things that never happen on Star Trek...

>>A redshirt sneaks down a deserted corridor, turns a corner, and suddenly
has a surprise birthday party.

>>A redshirt manages to avoid the thrown knife, phaser shot, arrow, or
whatever.

>>McCoy says, "On second thought, maybe I'm a carpenter and NOT a doctor
after all."

>>The deflector shields hold through the duration of the battle.

>>Kirk meets a woman whom he's known for years but never had sex with.

>>Sulu and Chekov get to do something interesting.

>>Kirk says, "Uhura, I'm frightened."

>>Kirk gets Court-martialed for violating the Prime Directive.

>>A Klingon says to a companion, "Hey, I like you."

>>Harry Mudd manages to turn a healthy profit selling something legal.

>>An android race turns out to be completely friendly and not threatening
or menacing in any way.

>>Some patient of McCoy's who's NOT a central character lives.

>>Riker manages to avoid seeming like a William Shatner clone.

>>The crew of the original Enterprise disperse, Sulu gets his own ship, and
nobody suffers major emotional trauma.

>>A major character dies and isn't resurrected.

>>The mysterious a giant threatening object is on a direct course for some
world other than Earth.

>>Somebody says, "You know, the Enterprise-D looks really stupid!  What is
it, a `Close Encounters' reject???"

>>Artificial intelligence and android technology make human exploration of
the galaxy obsolete.

>>McCoy says, "He'll live, Jim."

--Andrew                       "Actually, that IS a banana, but it
  andy@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu       sure is great to see you anyway."

Disclaimer:Given X, where X is a member of the set of my opinions, it is
           not the case that X must be a member of the set of the opinions
           of any given Y, such that Y != me.