Final Essay
                                    
                                    
                                        There are many important concepts I have learned in
  speech 100.  The three most important concepts to me are:
  the concept of open questions, the concept of behavior, and
  most importantly the concept of owned language.  
     These concepts are important to me because they give me
  tools and alternatives to use in my daily life.  They
  influence the way in which I react in situations by allowing
  me to have a variety of options to choose from.  For
  example, if I am in the grocery store, and I see a person I
  would like to talk 
  
  
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  to, I now a have the option to initiate a conversation by
  using an open question.  I might say, "how do you choose a
  good watermelon?"  This skill allows me the option to meet a
  new person or not.  Behavior is a concept I never really
  gave much thought until this class.  I did not see a
  difference between a person and their behavior.  To me, they
  were two of the same.  I now try to differentiate between
  the person and the person's action.  In doing so, I have
  lessened conflicts in all my relationships.  One recent
  example would involve my boyfriend
  
  
  
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  and me.  Mike had been drinking excessively, and I was quite
 concerned.  Instead of saying, "you are an alcholic jerk!", I
 now try to recognize and seperate the behavior and say
 something like:  "Mike, lately I have noticed that beer cans
 are all over your room,  and I feel concerned about you." 
 Most importantly in my life, I will always remember and try
 to apply, the concept of owned language.  The concept of
 taking responsibility for ones emotions and actions creates
 an inviting and secure environment for people to discuss
 situations.  By doing so the level of 
 
 
 
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 defensiveness stays down, encouraging open communication. 
 Now if I feel irritated and upset at my mom I might say, "
 mom, I feel upset when my car is left without gas in it." 
 instead of, "mom you're a witch and you're inconsiderate."
 using "owned language" also allows the other individual so
 keep their pride.
     I have learned many things about myself in speech class. 
 I learned the importance of not saying "you" too much which
 tends to lead to confrontation.  I was not aware of how often
 I used the word "you" in conversation.  Most people 
 
 
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 have told  me that I am a good listener and now I realize
 what they mean.  They are referring to my attending behavior: 
 eye contact, body language, and open posture which encourages
 others to open up to me.  This finding makes me more aware of
 how powerful body language is.    My future communication
 goals are to relate effectively to others with less
 conflicts.  My goals include trying to consistently using
 "owned language" and to relate to others in a less
 confrontational way.  I also intend to continue using the
 skill of "open questions," they make my life a better place.
 
 



FINAL ESSAY
              
                    
                    
                    
                    
                    BY
                   
                    MAREESA HUDSON
             
                    
                    
                    
                    
                    
                    
                    
                    SPEECH 100
               DAVID HUDSON
              MAY 18, 1993