
  ------------
  Anarchy inc.       ...proudly presents...
  ------------           =- The Lord Omega School of =-
                                 -= Terrorism -=
                   written by:  >=< Lord Omega >=<


Welcome, to the Lord Omega School of Beginning Terrorism.  You will find
that, in a v ery short time, terrorism is a fun an profitable caree r that
almost anybody can do. First, we'll assume t hat you have no money.
(After the cost of this class, you sure won't!) So, we'll start off
cheap...

      Chapter one: Dress to Kill
      -----------
Clothing is a very important thing in a good terrorist.  You will notice
that all of the recognized pros (ie, Fidel Castro, Yasir Arafat, Alexander
Haig) all have their own special styles.  But the main one we will be
talking about is the standard olive drab unifo rm since it is the most
used.  As I said, I'll prepare yo u with almost no money.  What you will
be supplied with is a pair of olive drab pants, jacket, and canteen.  Anot
her important article of clothing is the headband.  Face it, when have you
seen a convincing terrorist without one?  (On that note, when have you
seen a terrorist...couldn't resist ...dD)  Some schools recommend a khaki
one, but I prefer a nice shade of olive again.  You must tie it around you
hai r and let at least 4-6 inches of cloth dangle after you have tied it.
Any less and you will be recognized as a beginner a nd will probally be
immediately shot.  If you put a lot mo re cloth on it, then other
terrorists will think you are pr etentious and stuck up.  Once again, you
will probally be shot.  For shoes, pretty much any brand will do in comba
t boots, but don't get an expensive "Macy's" pair since peopl e will just
laugh at you.  Oh, remember: Make sure that all of the clothes are
permanently soiled, and a little bit baggy.

Chapter two: Weapons
-----------
Let's face it, a good terrorist needs something to kill with, eh?  You
will be supplied w ith Army issue .45 caliber handguns at graduation, and
a full bandoleer. This, however is only a temporary subs titute.  You will
need to get a better weapon, preferably som ething fully automatic and
big, for that matter.  Fitting nic ely in this catagory is the M-60.  The
gun can tear apart a building in seconds, and does wonders to enemies.
(Think o f what it could do to Matt Ackeret!  ...dD)  The only proble m
with it, is that it weighs about 53 pounds, empty.  and ab out 63 lbs with
a full banana clip.  So, if you are a wimp, s tick with a smaller gun. The
best way to get an M-60 is t o see someone who is carrying one and ask if
you can borrow it.  If he does not agree, kill him.  If he agrees, kill h
im anyway, because only a stupid terrorist would give som eone else his
gun, and besides, he probally deserves to die a nyway.

Chapter three:Transportation
-------------
This is a short chapter.  All graduates will be supplied with a plane
ticket to either the Mid-East, or any of the Central American countries.
When you get there, go and steal a jeep.  I recommend jeeps for transports
since they are fast, and so mewhat quiet. You can also mount your M-60 on
a gun turret, and cut up pedestrans if you wish.  Tanks are too difficult
to steal, and they have a te ndency to kill you when you stand in the road
to get them to stop.  Jeeps are also very fuel-eco nimical. They will do
about 20 mpg city, 15 in the jungle.

Chapter four: Which side?
------------
Well, it doesn't really matter which side you are on, as long as you get
paid.  That 's what you came here for, didn't you?  Terrorists tend to be
paid best by the United States.  But, it's been sta ted that Cherinkov is
making the trade now very competiti ve.  Who knows, in the future, he
might be out-bidding th e U.S...

Chapter five:Conclusion
------------
Well, this may help you in your preparations for a fun-filled career of
terrorism. If you chose to go to the Lord Omega School, you ca n apply for
a lot of giverment grants, since we are widely recognized.  We have a 9