ÍÁÄ! ÐÒÅÓÅÎÔÓ...

Á ÃOMMODORE ËID/ÇREMLIN PRODUCTION!

ÇETTING ÅVEN
ÐART #8

ÅVEN MORE DIRTY TRICKS.

ÔHE FOLLOWING FILE IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT
PURPOSES ÏÎÌÙ.  ÉT IS NOT INTENDED FOR
SMALL CHILDREN OR THE MENTALLY
UNSTABLE.

**ÍÁÄ! ÄÉÓÃÌÁÉÍÅÒ**

ÔHE AUTHOR(S) OF THIS FILE TAKE NO
RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY OF ITS CONTENTS.
×E ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY ILLEGAL
ACTIONS THAT TAKE PLACE AS A RESULT OF
THIS FILE.


ÁLL OF THE FOLLOWING THINGS ARE TAKEN
FROM THE ÇETTING ÅVEN SUBBOARD ON ÐÃ
ÍÁÉÎ.



-ÍÁÓÓ ÔÒÁÎÓÉÔ BY ÔÈÅ ÃÏÍÍÏÄÏÒÅ ËÉÄ



Á LARGE BAG FULL OF BEES, HORSEFLIES
MOTHS , OR CRICKETS PLACED OPEN ON A
SEAT WILL DO WONDERS FOR THE MORALE
OF PASSENGERS ON A BUS OR TRAIN.
ÏBVIOUSLY, AT TIMES THE MOST EFFECTIVE
SCHEMES ARE HARDLY THAT AT ALL. ÔHEY
ARE JUST SIMPLE ACTIONS.  ÆILTHY ÍC
ÎASTY SAYS ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO
ATTACK A BUS OR AIRLINER IS TO GROSS
PEOPLE OUT.  ÔHE SIMPLEST WAY TO DO 
THIS IS TO VOMIT IN SUCH A WAY THAT 
THE OTHER PASSENDERS CAN'T ESCAPE
SEEING OR HEARING YOUR ACT.
  ÉF YOU FEEL LIKE BEING A LITTLE
MORE SOPHISTICATED, HE SUGGESTS
YOU LET LOOSE SNEAKY SQUIRTS FROM
A ÃÓ OR ÃÎ "ÔÅÁÒ ÇÁÓ" PEN ON A BUS
OR TRAIN.  ÁNOTHER OF ÆILTHY ÍCÎASTYS
GOODIES FOR ÍASS ÔRANSIT VEHICLES IS
TO HOLLOW OUT A LIGHT BULB OR LARGE
ÃHRISTMAS ORNAMENT, THEN FILL IT
WITH THE STINKO SOLUTION OR GAS OF
YOUR CHOICE.  ÅPOXY SHUT THE OPENING,
AND PLACE THE STINK BOMB IN A PAPER
BAG.  ×HEN YOU HAVE SELECTED YOUR
TARGET AREA, PLACE THE BAG ON THE
FLOOR, OPEN THE TOP, THEN STOMP
ON THE BULB.  EXIT THE BUS QUICKLY.
ÔHIS ONE ALSO WORKS WILL IN THE OFFICE
GYM, PARTY, FUNERAL HOME, ECT.



-ÔEACHERS BY ÍIKE ×INSLOW
 ÓYSOP OF THE ? 1 ÂÂÓ (313-941-5009)
 ÔELL EM' ÍÁÄ! SENT YA.



ÄISLIKE A TEACHER AT SCHOOL? ×ELL THEN
GET TO SCHOOL A LITTLE EARLY, ×HEN NO
ONE IS LOOKING TAKE THE PINS OUT OF
THE HINGES TO THE CLASSROOM DOOR. É'VE
TRIED IT AND GOT GREAT RESULTS!



-ÔÅÁÃÈÅÒÓ ][ BY ÄÅÁÔÈ-ÓÔÁÌËÅÒ



  ÅARLY ONE MORNING BEFORE THEIR
TEACHER GOT TO THE CLASSROOM, SOME 
STUDENT PAINTED A LARGE BLACK/BROWN
SPOT ON THE CEILING. ×ITH SOME DEFT
ART TOUCHES, IT LOOKED AS IF A HUGE
HOLE HAD SUDDENLY BROKEN THROUGH. 
THEY PILED BROKEN PLASTER, CEILING
WIRE, AND HUNKS OF LATHER ON THE 
FLOOR BENEATH THE HOLE.
  ÔHE TEACHER WAS A FAG,AND WHEN HE
CAME IN AND SAW THE MESS HE PRANCED
OUT TO INFORM THE PRINCIPAL. ÑUICKLY,
THE STUDENTS CLEANED THE WATER PAINT
OFF THE CEILING AND SWEPT UP THE
FLOOR. THEY DISPOSED OF THE RESIDUE
AND TRASH ON THE ROOF OUTSIDE THE
ROOM.
  ×HEN THE PRINCIPAL AND THE TEACHER
RETURNED, THE STUDENTS ACTED
INNOCENTLY CONCERNED ABOUT THE
TEACHER'S SANITY. THE PRINCIPAL ASKED
THE TEACHER TO PLEASE STOP IN AND SEE
HIM AT THE FIRST AVAILABLE MOMENT. ÁS
HE LEFT, THE PRINCIPAL STARED AT THE
TEACHER FOR A LONG, LONG TIME.



-ÂANKS BY ÓYNTAX ÅRROR
 ÓYSOP OF THE ÓYNTAX ÅRROR ÂÂÓ
 (313)-842-0323  ÔELL EM' ÍÁÄ! SENT
 YA.



ÇO TO THE BANK OF YOUR CHOICE AND 
WRITE "ÔHIS IS A STICKUP" ON THE BACK
OF THE DEPOSIT SLIPS.  ÔHEN WAIT FOR
SOME UNLUCKY SOUL TO COME IN AND TRY
TO MAKE A DEPOSIT.



-ÍÁÉÌ BY ÓYNTAX ÅRROR



  ÔHERE'S ONE GOOD THING ABOUT THE
POST OFFICE.  ÉT'S CALLED THE "ÃHANGE
OF ADDRESS" FORM.  ÙOU SIMPLY WRITE
THE ADDRESS OF SOMEONE YOU DON'T LIKE
AND THEN PUT WHERE YOU WANT HIS MAIL
TO GO.



-ÈÏÔ ÔÕÂÓ BY ÔÈÅ ÃÏÍÍÏÄÏÒÅ ËÉÄ



ÃAROLYN, A ÌÁ PUNK ROCKER, SAYS
SHE ONCE DUMPED FIVE POUNDS OF
FERTILIZER IN A SELF-STYLED 
PLAYBOYS JACUZZI.  ÔHE RESULTING
ODOR WAS QUITE VULGAR THROUGHOUT
THE ENTIRE APARTMENT COMPLEX.
ÍEL ÃAJONES SAYS THAT SOMEONE ENTERING
A HOT TUB OR JACUZZI CONTAINING THIS
FERTILIZER BROTH IS QUITE LIKELY
TO GET NASTY SKIN BURNS



-ÂARF BY ÈÏÌÌÙ ×ÏÏÄ
 ÓYSOP OF THE ÃOORPORATION ÂÂÓ
 (313)-284-0154  ÔELL EM' ÍÁÄ! SENT
 YA!



ÍAD AT YOUR MOM? ×ANT TO MAKE HER
GAG HER BRAINS OUT? ÈERE'S A GREAT
RECIPE FOR FAKE BARF...
 2 SLICES OF CHOPPED BOLOGNA
 1 CHOPPED PICKLE
 1 MASHED BANANA
 1 TEAS. PEPPER
 1/2 CUP OF WHATEVER YOU HAD FOR 
     DINNER, CHOPPED WELL
 2 CUPS WATER
 1/2 CUP FLOUR
 1/2 CUP LEMON JUICE

 ÍIX WELL, AND DEPOSIT THIS IN
 THE MIDDLE OF THE KITCHEN FLOOR
 WHILE MAKING WRETCHING NOICES.

 ×ORKS EVERY TIME. ÁND THE OLDER THIS
 MIXTURE IS, THE WORSE (OR BETTER)
 IT SMELLS.



-ÌÏÃËÅÒÓ BY ÅÁÇÌÅÈÁ×Ë
 ÓYSOP OF ÐÃ ÈIGH (313)-388-6657  ÔELL
 EM' ÍÁÄ! SENT YA.



ÇOT SOMEONE AT SCHOOL YA DON'T LIKE OR
A LOCKER PARTNER YA HATE?
×ELL TRY THIS ONE ON EM-

ÔAKE A MEDIUM SIZED BAG, PREFERABLY 
THIN PLASTIC, AND FILL IT WITH WHAT-
EVER YOU FEEL IS APPROPRIATE (FLOUR,
FAKE BARF, PING-PONG BALLS). ÕSING
STRONG TAPE, SECURE IT TO A SHELF OR
WALL IN HIS LOCKER, SO THAT IT IS IN
REACH OF THE DOOR. ÐUT A COATING OF
GOOD GLUE ON THE END, SO THAT IT 
STICKS TO THE DOOR WHEN SHUT. ×HEN
THE MARK OPENS THE DOOR, ÒÉÐ, ÐÏÕÒ!!
ÙOUR MARK IS NOW COATED WITH (BARF,
FLOUR, PING PONG BALLS) UNDESIRABLE
GARBAGE.



×RITTEN BY
----------
ÔHE ÃOMMODORE ËID AND THE ÇREMLIN

×ITH ÈELP ÆROM
--------------
ÄEATH-ÓTALKER, ÈOLLY ×OOD, ÍIKE
×INSLOW, ÅAGLEHAWK, AND ÓYNTAX ÅRROR.



ÔHIS FILE HAS BEEN A PRESENTATION OF...



           ÍÁÄ! ÁÎÁÒÃÈÙ ÉÎÃ.
          ×ÏÒÌÄ ÈÅÁÄÑÕÁÒÔÅÒÓ-
       ÐÃ ÍÁÉÎ-   (313)-386-4698
       ÐÃ ÒÏÙÁÌÅ- (313)-281-6916



           ÐIRATE ÐETE
           ÃOMMODORE ËID
           ÂLACKBIRD
           ÓIR ÇALLANT
           ÄEATH-ÓTALKER
           ÔHE ÇREMLIN


  --ÄON'T JUST GET EVEN, GET ÍÁÄ!



-- ÅÎÄ ÏÆ ÆÉÌÅ --

(Ã) 1985 ÍÁÄ! ÄETROIT ÄIVISION

11/28/85