89
History has the relation to truth that thology has to religion - i.e. none to speak of. - [Lazarus Long]
Always store beer in a dark place. - [Lazarus Long]
By the data to date, there is only one animal in the Galaxy dangerous to man - man himself.  So he must supply his own indispensable competition.  He has no enemy to help him. - [Lazarus Long]
Men are more sentimental than women.  It blurs their thinking. - [Lazarus Long]
Certainly the game is rigged.  Don't let that stop you  if you don't bet, you can't win. - [Lazarus Long]
Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent. - [Lazarus Long]
Always listen to Experts.  They'll tell you what can't be done, and why.  Then do it. - [Lazarus Long]
Get a shot off fast!  This upsets him long enough to make your second shot perfect. - [Lazarus Long]
There is no conclusive evidence of life after death.  But there is no evidence of any sort against it.  Soon enough, you will know, so why fret about it? - [Lazarus Long]
If it can't be expressed in figures, it's not science  it's opinion. - [Lazarus Long]
It has long been known that one horse can run faster than another - but which one?  Differences are crucial. - [Lazarus Long]
A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated.  But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight.  Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved. - [Lazarus Long]
Delusions are often functional.  A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera, ad nauseum, keep her from trying to drown them at birth. - [Lazarus Long]
Most "scientists" are bottle washers and button sorters. - [Lazarus Long]
A "pacifist male" is a contradiction in terms.  Most self described "pacifists" are not pacific  they simply assume false colours.  When the wind changes, they hoist the Jolly Roger. - [Lazarus Long]
Nursing does not diminish the beauty of a woman's breasts  it enhances their charmes by making them look lived in and happy. - [Lazarus Long]
A generation which ignores history has no past - and no future. - [Lazarus Long]
A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits. - [Lazarus Long]
What a wonderful world it is that has girls in it! - [Lazarus Long]
Small change can often be found under seat cushions. - [Lazarus Long]
History does record anywhere at any time a religion that has a rational basis.  religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help.  But, like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it. - [Lazarus Long]
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired. - [Lazarus Long]
If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people. - [Lazarus Long]
Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes.  Keep this in mind  it may offer a way to make him your friend.  If not, you can kill him without hate - and quickly. - [Lazarus Long]
A motion to adjourn is always in order. - [Lazarus Long]
No state has an inherent right to survive through conscript troops and, in the long run, no state ever has.  Roman matrons used to say to their sons: 'Come back with your shield, or on it.'  Later on, this custom declined.  So did Rome. - [Lazarus Long]
Of all the strange "crimes" that human beings have legislated out of nothing, "blasphemy" is the most amazing - with "obscenity" and "indecent exposure" fighting it out for second and third place. - [Lazarus Long]
Cheops' Law:  Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget. - [Lazarus Long]
It is better to copulate than never. - [Lazarus Long]
All men are created unequal. - [Lazarus Long]
Money is a powerful aphrodisiac.  But flowers work almost as well. - [Lazarus Long]
A brute kills for pleasure.  A fool kills from hate. - [Lazarus Long]
There is only one way to console a widow.  But remember the risk. - [Lazarus Long]
When the need arises - and it does - you must be able to shoot your own dog.  Don't farm it out - that doesn't make it easier, it makes it worse. - [Lazarus Long]
Everything in excess!  To enjoy the flavour of life, take big bites.  Moderation is for monks. - [Lazarus Long]
It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion.  And usually easier. - [Lazarus Long]
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh. - [Lazarus Long]
Sex should be friendly.  otherwise, stick to mechanical toys  it's more sanitary. - [Lazarus Long]
Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a God superior to themselves.  Most Gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child. - [Lazarus Long]
Never appeal to a man's 'better nature.'  He may not have one.  Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage. - [Lazarus Long]
Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse. - [Lazarus Long]
You can have Peace.  or you can have Freedom.  Don't ever count on having both at once. - [Lazarus Long]
Avoid making irrevocable decisions while tired or hungry.  N.B.:  Circumstances can force your hand, so think ahead! - [Lazarus Long]
Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark. - [Lazarus Long]
An elephant: A mouse built to government specifications. - [Lazarus Long]
In a mature society, 'civil servant' is semantically equivalent to 'civil master'. - [Lazarus Long]
When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away.  It is time to go elsewhere.  The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere. - [Lazarus Long]
A woman is not property, and husbands who think otherwise are living in a dreamworld. - [Lazarus Long]
A zygote is a gamete's way of producing more gametes.  This may be the purpose of the universe. - [Lazarus Long]
Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are wiser than one man.  How's that again?  I missed something." - [Lazarus Long]
Autocracy is based on the assumption that one man is wiser than a million men.  Let's play that over again, too.  Who decides?. - [Lazarus Long]
Stupidity cannot be cured with money, or through education, or by legislation.  Stupidity is not a sin, the victim can't help being stupid.  But stupidity is the only universal capital crime  the sentence is death, there is no appeal,and execution is carried out automatically and without pity. - [Lazarus Long]
History has the relation to truth that thology has to religion - i.e. none to speak of. - [Lazarus Long]
Always store beer in a dark place. - [Lazarus Long]
By the data to date, there is only one animal in the Galaxy dangerous to man - man himself.  So he must supply his own indispensable competition.  He has no enemy to help him. - [Lazarus Long]
Men are more sentimental than women.  It blurs their thinking. - [Lazarus Long]
Certainly the game is rigged.  Don't let that stop you  if you don't bet, you can't win. - [Lazarus Long]
Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent. - [Lazarus Long]
Always listen to Experts.  They'll tell you what can't be done, and why.  Then do it. - [Lazarus Long]
Get a shot off fast!  This upsets him long enough to make your second shot perfect. - [Lazarus Long]
There is no conclusive evidence of life after death.  But there is no evidence of any sort against it.  Soon enough, you will know, so why fret about it? - [Lazarus Long]
If it can't be expressed in figures, it's not science  it's opinion. - [Lazarus Long]
It has long been known that one horse can run faster than another - but which one?  Differences are crucial. - [Lazarus Long]
A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated.  But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight.  Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved. - [Lazarus Long]
Delusions are often functional.  A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera, ad nauseum, keep her from trying to drown them at birth. - [Lazarus Long]
Most "scientists" are bottle washers and button sorters. - [Lazarus Long]
A "pacifist male" is a contradiction in terms.  Most self described "pacifists" are not pacific  they simply assume false colours.  When the wind changes, they hoist the Jolly Roger. - [Lazarus Long]
Nursing does not diminish the beauty of a woman's breasts  it enhances their charmes by making them look lived in and happy. - [Lazarus Long]
A generation which ignores history has no past - and no future. - [Lazarus Long]
A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits. - [Lazarus Long]
What a wonderful world it is that has girls in it! - [Lazarus Long]
Small change can often be found under seat cushions. - [Lazarus Long]
History does record anywhere at any time a religion that has a rational basis.  religion is a crutch for people not strong enough to stand up to the unknown without help.  But, like dandruff, most people do have a religion and spend time and money on it and seem to derive considerable pleasure from fiddling with it. - [Lazarus Long]
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired. - [Lazarus Long]
If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people. - [Lazarus Long]
Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes.  Keep this in mind  it may offer a way to make him your friend.  If not, you can kill him without hate - and quickly. - [Lazarus Long]
A motion to adjourn is always in order. - [Lazarus Long]
No state has an inherent right to survive through conscript troops and, in the long run, no state ever has.  Roman matrons used to say to their sons: 'Come back with your shield, or on it.'  Later on, this custom declined.  So did Rome. - [Lazarus Long]
Of all the strange "crimes" that human beings have legislated out of nothing, "blasphemy" is the most amazing - with "obscenity" and "indecent exposure" fighting it out for second and third place. - [Lazarus Long]
Cheops' Law:  Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget. - [Lazarus Long]
It is better to copulate than never. - [Lazarus Long]
All men are created unequal. - [Lazarus Long]
Money is a powerful aphrodisiac.  But flowers work almost as well. - [Lazarus Long]
A brute kills for pleasure.  A fool kills from hate. - [Lazarus Long]
There is only one way to console a widow.  But remember the risk. - [Lazarus Long]
When the need arises - and it does - you must be able to shoot your own dog.  Don't farm it out - that doesn't make it easier, it makes it worse. - [Lazarus Long]
Everything in excess!  To enjoy the flavour of life, take big bites.  Moderation is for monks. - [Lazarus Long]
It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better st - [Lazarus Long]