               
                        PeNiS Productions Presents:    
               
               
               The Elite Modemers' Guide on How Not to Be Lame

               by Reaper \x/ild\x/ood [RIOT] [PeNiS]

                              Table of Contents
          I. Introduction
          
          ][. Lameness guide
                1. Vowels
                2. Z's for S's
                3. Changed Spellings
                4. Macros/Signatures
                5. Joining Groups
                6. Starting Groups
                7. Quoting
                8. Arguements/Modem Fights
                9. Message Subjects
                10. File Descriptions

          ]I[. Proper Ways to not piss off a Sysop
                1. Paging
                2. Insults
                3. Threats
                4. Board Policies
                5. If You Get Pissed
                6. If The Sysop Fucks Up

          IV. Reaper's Group and Personal greets, notices, etc.

NOTE: Users and Sysops are constantly referred to as being of the Male
persuasion of Human gender. Females please do not take this offensively,
as I am merely generalizing.

 
 I. Introduction
        I am Reaper Wildwood. I have been modeming for approximately
        3 years. In this time, I have seen lame trends come and go,
        and lame people come and go. This is just a quick little guide
        to lame stuff that makes you look bad to other modemers. Don't
        immediately get all pissed off if you do some of the things 
        listed here. Doesn't NECESSARILY mean you are lame. Maybe you
        just have some bad modem habits. I realize some people's opinions
        differ on what is lame and what is acceptable. I am just going
        to lay down a few basics.

 
 
 ][. LAME! - Here are a few LAME things that it would be wise not to do:

        1.) Do NOT excessively use lower case vowels with capital
            consonants. SuCH aS THiS. Do NoT TYPe LiKe THiS. It is
            generally considered ok to use it in group names with
            a few (not all) of the letters, or in acronyms such as
            PiL, NeXuS, iCE, etc. Just don't Overuse it, or do it 
            a lot. If you aren't sure whether or not you do it too 
            much, then you probably DO.

        2.) Do NOT Substitute Z's for S's. I realize an RN/L
            Senior member does this, and i have always wished he 
            would stop. It is definately considered to be LAME 
            to those among the Elite community. (Stop D.M.!)

        3.) Do not use 'kewl', 'c00l, '<00l', '/<00l' or anything
            other than 'cool' for that word. Same goes for most other
            words.

        4.) Do not use big or unreadable Extended-ASCII Macros or
            ANSIS for your Signature on messages. 1-3 lines is a good 
            size. Bigger is ok if it looks good, and not big and clumsy.
            Also remember not to make it up purely of Extended-ASCII
            characters. I have seen many signatures that were so 
            unreadable that I went 'What the FUCK!?!' and had to
            scrollback and look at the top of the message. You don't 
            have to find an Extended-ASCII character for EVERY letter 
            of your sig.

        5.) Do not join any groups of any kind merely for the name.
            In other words don't join a group so you can put the
            group;s name in your sig. or on an infoform at new
            user logon. Most likely, this will quickly become apparent
            to the group, and you will get booted out on your ass.
            And try getting into groups if you gain a reputation like
            that. Then you will be fucked when you REALLY want to join
            a group and do something. I have been seeing a LOT of this 
            problem lately with all the new groups springing up that
            are based in the 714, 818, and 310 AC's. Applky to a group
            only if you plan on contributing to them.

        6.) DO not start a group just to start a group, even
            though you suck. If you can't get into any groups or find
            it too hard once you are in, don't start some bogus group.
            I know a lot of these types of groups, the members are
            actually disillusioned enough to think that they really
            are good. I remember a guy, who will remain nameless, but
            his initials were G.W.A.R. S.L.A.V.E. (hehe), that thought
            he could draw ANSI. So he started his own 'ANSI group'.
            I could see his lack of talent (although he did get better
            with time) and said "hey, even i can raw better than you."
            He said "no way" so i drew up an animation that was better
            than any of his work (at the time) and he said "ok you win".
            And all of you know i can't do ANSI worth a shit. So don't
            do that, and don't start a couriering group if all you get
            is 14 day wares and shit.

        7.) On message bases, if replying to a specific comment or
            message, try to use a little quoting if available. This
            is plainly nice conduct. Believe it or not, you are judged
            a lot on your messages you post in subs. Even if you call
            a board and upload 15 megs a day, but you don't post any
            messages, you are likely to be less known than someone who
            doesn't even use the files section but posts a lot every 
            night. Also, do not quote every line of a 30 line message
            then replying with a 1 line comment. i hate seeing:

            RW> ihjvrbpiojfdjpiogrdepiojgrde
            RW> rpgiojjgeporgre[po
            (30 lines worth of a previous message)
            then:
                Yeah, man you are right.
                                -Dude
            I hate that, and so do most people. When quoting, only quote
            the lines your reply applies to.
                When replying to E-Mail, ALWAYS use quoting. I can't 
            remember how many times I got an e-mail saying "yeah, good 
            idea" or something and i have no idea what we were talking 
            about... so if it is available, use quoting when replying to 
            e-mail.

        8.) If you take offense to something someone posts about you or
            someone else, or an argument between you and someone else on
            the message bases gets out of control, do not start name
            calling and saying how "they are modem geeks" and "you are 
            gonna kick their ass if they come out from behind the screen".
            Everyone has heard that shit millions of times between people
            and it gets REAL old... but new modemers always come along
            and it happens... well, don't let it... if you HAVE to do
            that shit, take it to E-mail. Modem fights are rarely taken
            to real life.

        9.) Try not to post about the wrong subject on the wrong message
            sub. Sub stands for 'Subject'. Try to contain talk of cars
            in the Car sub, not in the New Users sub or the Black Lists
            sub. If a Sysop asks you to move a discussion to another sub,
            do it. Don't just 'reply one last time in this sub' because
            everyone else will keep replying in that sub too... and you 
            will all look lame when the sysop has to move the messages 
            and give you guys a warning.

        10.) When uploading a file, be sure to write an accurate
             description in the proper form. I see a lot of people, when
             uploading, say, all the disks of DarkSun - Shattered Lands,
             they put "darksun 1 of 5", "darksun 2 of 5", etc. Write
             file descriptions in the proper standardized form, which
             varies, but is generally like this:

             "<Name of Program> <Version> <Extra Shit> <Group> <Disks>"

             for example:

             "HS-Link Transfer Protocol 1.21c *REGISTERED* -SiN- [1/1]"

             That is proper form. Not:

             "hslink 1.21c regd."

             Do this for ALL uploads, and when there is not group, don't
             put anything. If there is no extra shit, don't put it.
             Also, if the file has a really short name, try to fill space
             in the description with something else. For example, this
             does not look good in a Board's file listing:

             Goonies -THG- [1/1]

             This would be better:

             Goonies from Interplay Software -THG- [1/1]

                                OR:

             Goonies - SVGA, SBPRO, PAS16, Mouse -THG- [1/1]

             Also. For those of you in so called "couriering" groups
             who tag file descriptions with couriering group names,
             put the name AFTER the disk number.



 ]I[. Proper Ways to Not piss off a Sysop. (Except for Nop)

        
        1.) Never page a Sysop after midnight or before 10 a.m. Most are
            either sleeping, out partying (sysops party more than regular
            users, i took a survey), or just do not want to be bugged.
            Just because the Chat Call is able to be activated doesn't
            necessarily mean it is OK to page the shit out of the sysop.
            Generally, if the sysop doesn't answer after the first page,
            then he is most likely not going to answer.

        2.) NEVER, EVER insult a sysop ar start talking shit about him
            on his own board.

        3.) Never threaten a sysop on his own board. I had a guy once,
            whom i had deleted for being lame, call back, logon as new,
            and in his newuser feedback, he wrote me saying:
            "I demand that you give me an account with at least an hour
            per day, and no ratio, or I will call the SPA [Software
            Piracy Agency] and report you. As a matter of fact, I have an 
            SPA agent on here already..." blah, blah. Like i was going to
            give him this account. I captured the letter, and posted it all
            over with all his handles that he was using, so that people 
            could get rid of him. Haven't seen any of those handles since.
            So don't threaten a Sysop.

        4.) Obey the Sysop's Board Policies. A lot of boards may have
            varying policies on posting, Uploading, etc. Don't ignore
            these policies. If the Sysop says no .GIF files, don't
            upload .GIF files! If the Sysop says no Sig.'s longer than
            than 3 lines, tone down your Sig. to three lines!

        5.) If something about the board pisses you off, don't bitch
            out or yell at the Sysop. For example, if he keeps changing
            software and/or making everyone log on new, just don't call
            if you can't take it.

        6.) If the Sysop fucks up, such as deleting a 0-3 day ware when
            he thinks it is an old release or something like that, do
            not make fun of him, call him names, or cuss him out. Just
            take it easy, and re-upload. otherwise you are going to piss
            him off and lose access.



 IV. Reaper's Personal and Group Greets.

        Greets go out to: oMc, TDN, RIOT, ETERNAL (Sorry it didn't work out)
                          iMAGE, Spectrum, Crimson.

        Personal Greets:  Serpico of RaZoR 1911 (What do you think?)
                          Streaker: Nice first ANSIS for RIOT
                                    Remember PiT? ETERNAL and MiA
                                    are headed that way! ahah

                        -Reaper \x/ild\x/ood [PeNiS] [RIOT]
