                                ACCIDENTS
          
          
         Accidents aren't funny, but it's hard to keep from cracking a
         smile when you read some of the explanations on accident
         reports, insurance claims, etc.
          
             -A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's
              face.
          
             -The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number
              of times before I hit him.
          
             -In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into the telephone
              pole.
          
             -The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He
              then went to rest in the bush with just his read end
              showing.
          
             -I told the policeman that  was not injured, but upon
              removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull.
          
             -I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the
              other side of the road when I struck him.
          
             -I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at
              my mother-in-law in the other seat and headed over the
              embankment.
          
             -I had been driving my car for 40 years when I fell
              asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
          
             -To avoid hitting the bumper of the car ahead, I
              struck the pedestrian.

             -I just saw the slow moving, sad faced old gentleman
              when he bounced off the hood of my car.
          
             -The accident happened when the right front door of
              a car came around the corner without giving a signal.
          
             -The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was
              attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my
              front end.
          
             -A pedestrian I did not see, hit me then went sliding
              under my car.
          
             -The pedestrian had no idea which way to go so I
              ran over him.
          
             -The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my
              car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.
