A guru a day keeps the users away.
The Amiga A4000/040 is not Amiga compatable.
Compatability and Commodore are opposites that don't attract.
AMIGA = A Magnificent Idea Gone Astray.
Use Term 4.0 Amiga? But I want something that works.
Upgrade from your Amiga - buy an Apple IIe.
Either he's dead, Jim, or my Tricorder is running AmigaDos.
The A1200 CD drive is really a 1541 in disguise.
If at first you don't succeed, call it Workbench 3.0
Intuition is a fancy name for Trojan.
Virus found - Delete AmigaDos Y/N.
Only AMIGA makes the possible improbable
Amiga + Compatability = ROTFL.
Emulate an XT - use AMOS Professional.
AMIGA = A Marvellous Idea Gone Awry.
Have you made A Most depressInG mistAke?.
Look out it's the AMazInG Atrocity!
I am AmigaDos of Borg, Prepare for software failure.
Amigas are like Grand Prix drivers - both crash frequently.
PC and ARC owners know they made the right choice.
Software faiure, click retry or cancel, it'll crash anyway.
Error opening Workbench, drawer locked.
Help the environment, recycle your Amiga.
Amiga sometimes does it right, but more often left.
Amigados is NOT a virus - viruses do something.
What do you call a skip full of Amigas?  A good start.
Amiga, from the people who brought you the C16.
How are an Amiga and a Skoda similar. They both break down frequently.
A guru a day helps you work rest and play.
Device NIL: is full.  (R)etry (C)ancel (G)uru.
Pass that Amiga over here - this door needs to be propped open.
Intel fixed the Pentium, Commodore screwed the Amiga!
Amiga: No Intel inside. No computer inside. No company outside!
doMS-DOS kills all known Amigas. Dead.
Pentiums can be fixed, Amigas can be binned.
The best way to accelerate an Amiga is at -9.8m/s2
For XT power run PC Task on an Amiga A4000/040
Error opening Workbench, drawer locked.
How are an Amiga and a Skoda similar. They both break down frequently.
Buy built in obsolescence - buy an Amiga.
Pentium - Redefining the PC! (and Mathematics)
C:\BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files ^^^oo^^^
"Bother," said Pooh, and deleted his message base.
640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
Always proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
I am Superconductor of Borg ... Resistance is futile.
My wallet's cache is disabled.
A cats worst enemy is a closed door.
GOLFER--Yells "Fore!", Takes Five, Writes Down Three.
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer.
24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case. Hmmmm...
586, 32Mb 40ns RAM, 4Gb 2ms HD. Now Windows will beat DOS!
640K ought to be enough for anybody. -Bill Gates, 1981.
80486 100Mhz. Don't you smell something burning?
A KGB keyboard has no <ESC> key.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI.
Ah.. aah.. aaah.. atchou2O:&b NO CARRIER
All taglines are busy... One will be with you shortly.
Alzheimers advantage: New friends every day.
Apple (c) Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.
Are 12 lines at 1,200bps as good as 1 line at 14,400bps?
Avoid "off-topic" warnings: Add the moderator to your twitlist!
Avoid junk mail: Get an unlisted ZIP code!
BBS: A method to triple your phone bill.
BREAKFAST.COM Halted... Cereal port not responding.
Basic programmers never die. They just GOSUB without RETURN!
Be sure to use DEVICE=EXXON to screw up your environment.
Best file compressor around: DEL *.* (100% compression!)
Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers!
Break up a relationship. Buy a computer!
Buy a Pentium so you can reboot faster!
COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.
Coming Soon: Mouse Support for Edlin!
Coming soon: Netware for the Nintendo!
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
DCE seeks DTE for mutual exchange of data.
DOS 6.0: A $49 confirmation that you need REAL utilities.
DOS 6.0: Yesterday's operating system, today!
DOS=HIGH? I knew it was on something...
Docs? Why would I want to look at the Docs. Nurses are better!
Documentation: The worst part of programming.
Does Windows NT come with a hard drive?
Does the Enterprise use DOS v 2356.0?
Don't diet, download a virus to remove the FAT.
EDLINUTL.ZIP 7K Utility that make EDLIN seem like Wordperfect!
Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.
Error 15 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
Error 3032 - Recursion error. See error 3032.
Error 763 - Hard disk not ready, close door.
Error 87 - Tagline out of caracters...
Error 941 -  CPU not found...
Error 99 - CPU too tired to continue...
Error finding COLD BEER. Sysop not loaded.
Error, no Keyboard - Press F1 to Continue.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
For a bug-free environment do NOT run this program!
For sale: Hourglass for timing Windows.
General failure reading drive A: Please remove your fist.
Get OS/2 2.0 - The best Windows tip around!
HHeellpp.. II''mm ssttuucckk iinn hhaallff--dduupplleexx.
Hackers know all the right MOVs.
Hey! Don't pick up that phoׯች
How do you make Windows faster? Throw it harder!
I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!
I don't have the time for a hobby. I have a computer.
I have a 9600 bps modem and 1.5 bps fingers!
I have a dream... DIR C: 999,937,498,127 bytes free.
I like the 486 tower. Does it come in red?
I like women like I like my code: fast, tight & easy!
I received a phone bill from Bell Canada for DOS calls!
I wrote my own benchmark. My machine is now 500MHz!
I've got a Mickey Mouse PC with a Goofy operating system.
I*love~my$computer,;It's%made in Taiwa~##$ ` #@
IBM: It may be slow, but at least it's expensive.
If anything can go wrong... NO CARRIER
If only AT&T knew what I was doi2O:b NO CARRIER
If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good. -Bill Gates.
Include this in your CONFIG.SYS File: BUGS=OFF.
Iraqi Bingo: B-52...F-16...A-10...F-18...F-117...B-2...
It said "insert disk #3", but only two will fit...
It's starting to rain, .SQZ the animals into the .ARC!
Itsdifficulttobeverycreativewithonlyfiftysevencharacters.
Keyboard is locked - Press F1 to resume...
Keyboard: Device used to enter errors into the computer.
LSD: A cheaper version of virtual reality!
Line noise? What fh=.hElL is.LinS nfise?
MODEM - Monumentally Overpriced Data Eating Machine.
Math problems? Call 1-800-10*(24+13)-(64-16)/2^14E2.
Memory Manager: Something I need more than my computer.
Misspelled? Impossible. My modem is error correcting!
Modem sex begins with a handshake!
Modem: Deterrent to receiving wanted and unwanted calls.
Multitasking: Reading in the bathroom.
My computer has EMS... Wont you help?
My computer never locks u
My hard disk went on a diet and lost it's FAT.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features...
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with your fist!
Never purge files after three sleepless nights.
New computer? But I like my vacuum tubes... They keep me warm.
Newsbytes - Microsoft announce EDLIN for Windows.
OS/2 2.0 ERROR: Purchase 486-50 with 8 Meg to continue...
Off by crashing computer. Time Logged: 9W)$׃Ð;@
Oh no, a viru׀
Old MacDonald had a computer with EIA I/O.
Old days: Wine, Women, Song. Now days: Coffee, Computers, CD's.
Old musicians never die. They just decompose!
Old programmers never die. They branch to a new address!
Old programmers never die. They just lose their byte.
On this BBS, we recycle all of our bytes, bit by bit.
Only 19,999 lines of C++ to my next ski trip...
Only XT users know that January 1, 1980 was a Tuesday!
Operator, give me the number for 911.
Operator, trace this call and tell me where I am.
Origin of Life? Just check my refrigerator...
Ouch! Got my floppy caught in my PKZipper!
Pascal programmers do it with indentations.
Practice safe hex: Use plastic keyboard covers!
Press ESC to enter or ENTER to escape...
Press PLAY+REC to save this tagline.
Press any key... NO! Except that on#S{p+ NO CARRIER
Psst! Your .ZIP file is open!
Push red button to test, release to detonate...
Put your hard drive to your ear. Can you hear the C:?
Read the docs? Wow, what a radical concept.
Readers of the lost .ARC
Real programmers use punched cards.
Recursion, noun: See recursion.
Running Windows is better than washing them!
Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
Since GOD spelled backwards is DOG, is my poodle Satan?
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
So many bytes, so few cps.
Spaghetti code = job security.
Stop! Modem police. We clocked your Sportster at over 1900 cps!
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
Sure I know how to copy disks, where's the Xerox?
Syntax Error in KITCHEN.H: COFFEE not found.
Sysop ('sih sop) n. The guy laughing at your typing.
Sysop! Your BBS gave me a "Printer out of paper" error!
System error - Press F13 to continue...
System halted - Press all keys at once to continue.
THE fIRST sTEP iS tO tAKE oFF tHE cAPS lOCK.
Tagline dispenser temporarily out of order.
That's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature.
There were computers in Biblical times. Eve had an Apple.
This tagline is password protected. To view type Ctrl-Alt-Del.
This virus requires Microsoft Windows 3.x.
Time on your hands? Get Windows!
Top secret! Burn before reading!
Turn your 486 into a gameboy, type OS2 at the C:\ prompt.
Type +++ ATH0 to continue...
Unzip... expand... What kind of pervert came up with this?
WOMAN.ZIP - Great program but no documentation.
Was Jimi Hendrix's modem a Purple Hayes?
We all live in a yellow subroutine...
What do you mean, QWK? It took me over an hour to read!
Who is General Failure and why's he reading my hard disk?
Why did CNN cancel that cool "Desert Storm" show?
Windows 3.0 - From the people who brought you EDLIN.
Windows NT: Just another pretty program loader?
Windows is not a virus. Viruses do something!
Windows practical joke: Write a program that works.
Windows would look better with curtains.
Windows: XT emulator for an AT.
Xerox never comes up with anything original.
Your E-Mail has been returned due to insufficient voltage.
A field upgrade,HAL. We're going to make you IBM compatible.
Bowman hesitates. You're not IBM compatible.
Fer sell cheep: IBM Spel chekker. Wurks grate.
How ya going to do it? IBM Blue it!
IBM - (I)nferior (B)ut (M)arketable.
IBM making tomorrow's mistakes TODAY!
IBM PS/1? A Prodigy Workstation!
Nothing is 100% certain, bug free, or IBM compatible.
Computers do it in ASCII, except IBM's which use EBCDIC.
Get rid of your problems...ditch the IBM and get an Amiga.
IBM - I Blame Microsoft.
IBM - I Buy Mainframes.
IBM - I'll Buy Macintosh.
IBM - I've Been Mislead.
IBM - I've Been Moved.
IBM - I've Been Mugged.
IBM - Identical Blue Men.
IBM - Idiotic Bit Masher.
IBM - Idiots Become Managers.
IBM - Idiots Built Me.
IBM - Immense Bowel Movement.
IBM - Incompatible Business Machines.
IBM - Incontinent Bowel Movement.
IBM - Incredibly Boring Machine.
IBM - Inferior, But Marketable.
IBM - Infernal Bloody Monopoly.
IBM - Institute of Black Magic.
IBM - Intercourse Beats Masturbation.
IBM - Internal Beaurocratic Mess.
IBM - International Brotherhood of Magicians.
IBM - Intolerant of Beards and Mustaches.
IBM - It Barely Moves.
IBM - It'll Be Messy.
IBM - It's Backwards, Man.
IBM - It's Being Mended.
IBM - It's Better Manually.
IBM - Itty Bitty Machines.
IBM - Itty Bitty Morons.
IBM compatible - IBM contemptible.
IBM is 99.8% compatible...With Compaq 386 Pro
IBM stands for Inferior But Marketable.
IBM: U can buy better, but U can't pay more
Just say no!  (To IBM)
If IBMs have bugs, do Apple have worms?
"My heart is human - my blood is boiling - my brain IBM" - Mr. Roboto
Check your answer against IBM's answer. But don't blame me.
I BM. You BM. We all BM for IBM!
IBM at times means (I)ncredibly (B)otched (M)achines.
IBM: Intentionally Broken Machines.
What distinguishes an IBM-PC from a boat anchor? Segment registers.
Window Error:001 Windows loaded. System in danger.
Window error:002 No error, yet.
Window error:003 Dynamic linking error. Your mistake is now in every fil
Window error:004 Erroneous error. Nothing wrong.
Window error:004 Operator fell asleep while waiting.
Window error:005 Multitasking attempted. System confused.
Window error:006 Malicious error. Desqview found on drive.
Window error:007 System price error. Inadequate money spent.
Window error:008 Broken window. Watch for glass fragments.
Window error:009 Horrible bug encountered. God knows what has happened.
Window error:00A Promotional literature overflow. Mailbox full.
Window error:00B Inadequate disk space. Need 50 meg minimum.
Window error:00C Memory hog error. More ram needed. More! More!
Window error:00D Window closed. Do not look out.
Window error:00E Window open, do not look in.
Window error:00F Unexplained error. Please tell us how it happened.
Window error:010 Reserved for future mistakes.
Window error:014 Nonexistent error. This cannot really be happening.
Window error:015 Unable to exit windows. Try the door.
Window error:016 Door locked. Try control-alt-delete.
Window error:017 Keyboard locked. Try anything you can think of.
Window error:018 Unrecoverable error. System destroyed.
Window error:019 User error. It's not our fault. Is not! Is not!
Window error:01A Operating system overwritten. Terribly sorry.
Window error:01B Illegal error. Do not get this error.
Window error:01C Uncertainty error. Uncertainty may be inadequate.
Window error:01D Unable to figure out our own code. System crashed.
Window error:01E Timing error. Please wait. And wait. And wait.
Window error:01F Reserved for future mistakes.
Window error:020 Error recording error codes. Remaining errors lost.
Window screen: An arrangement for keeping flies in.
WindowError: 01F Reserved for future mistakes.
WindowError: 020 Error recording error codes.
WindowError:009 Horrible bug encounterd.
WindowError:00C Memory hog error. More ram needed.
WindowError:020 Error recording error codes. Remaining errors lost.
Windows & Icons & Mice OH MY!
Windows 3.0 - The colorful clown suit for DOS.
Windows 3.0. From the people who brought you EDLIN.
Windows 3.0. The best $89 solitaire game you can buy.
Windows 3.0: More holes than you can count.
Windows 3.1 in an XT 4.77 with a single floppy disk drive.
Windows 3: Solution to a non-existent problem....
Windows also multitasks.....  NOT!!!!
Windows Error: 002 No error, yet.
Windows has crashed more systems than Stoned
Windows isn't a virus -- viruses do something!
Windows isn't a virus; a virus does something.
Windows LUW: Life Under Windows
Windows R4 looking thru, PM is afternoon
Windows turns your 486/33 into an XT/6.
Windows UCR: Unrecoverable Customers Resources
Windows UKD: Unexplained Keyboard Destructions
Windows UMP: Unjustified Microsoft Profits
Windows UMT: Unstoppable Mouse Trajectories
Windows UPB: Unrecoverable Pain in the Butt
Windows would be better with curtains.
Windows, an Operating system with a built-in PHD. (Push Here Dummy!)
Windows, icons, mouse and pointer = WIMP.
Windows, Just Say No.
Windows, the Vanilla Ice of Software.
Windows: A 6 megabyte Solitaire game.
Windows: If I'd WANTED a Mac, I would have BOUGHT one!
WINDOWS: Insufficient Memory, please add 72 Megabyte!
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
WINDOWS: What you throw your computer out of.
Windows? !Por Favor, No Rompa Mis Cojones! Gracias!
Windows? We don't need no stinking Windows!
Windws is ine for bckgroun comunicaions.
Winners never learn, losers never forget.
Worf: Screw the prime directive, Sir. I say give the Borg Windows 3.
You know I was arrested last week for throwing rocks through Windows.
Convert your 386 or 486 into a Game Boy, run Windows 3.0!
Difference between a virus & windows? Viruses never fail.
Exhibitionists love Windows
Exploding Windows....GOOD Exploding Drives......NOT GOOD!!
Friends don't let friends use Windows.
I can't use Windows. My cat ate my mouse.
If speed scares you, try Micro$oft Windows.
Know what I like about Windows? Not a damn thing.
Running Windows is better than washing them
This is your brain ... This is your brain on Windows.
Windows 3.0 - The colorful clown suit for DOS.
Windows 3.0: More holes than you can count.
Windows 3: Solution to a non-existent problem....
Windows has crashed more systems than Stoned
Windows isn't a virus: viruses do something!
Windows LUW: Life Under Windows
Windows UCR: Unrecoverable Customers Resources
Windows UKD: Unexplained Keyboard Destructions
Windows UMP: Unjustified Microsoft Profits
Windows UMT: Unstoppable Mouse Trajectories
Windows UPB: Unrecoverable Pain in the Butt
Windows? We don't need no stinking Windows!
Running Windows is better than washing them, or is it?
Windows Error: 002 No error, yet.
Windows would be better with curtains.
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
Bugs come in through open Windows.
WINDOWS: What you throw your computer out of.
Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows
"$%*&^% NO CARRIER" said Pooh as his modem went bang.
"Bother" said Pooh as the vice squad took his GIFS
"Bother", said Pooh as he found he'd used a dirty needle
"Bother," said Pooh as Windows swapped out again
"MEOW"...SPLAT..."RUFF"...SPLAT...(Raining cats & dogs)
And there were plagues of locusts, and frogs, and MS-DOS, and MS Windows
Error:015 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
Windows, the Vanilla Ice of Software.
Run Windows? I'd rather PIF on a Electric Fence.
You know I was arrested last week for throwing rocks through Windows.
Carly Simon, on Windows, "I haven't got time for the pane."
If you want it done right, don't write it for Windows.
Is Grass really greener on the other side of Windows? Faster Too!
This is your CPU - - This is yor CPU on Windows !@#$%@)@*
Windows: If I'd WANTED a Mac, I would have BOUGHT one!
WINDOWS you think they'll get it right?
Yes, I do Windows (3.0)...
Windows: From the people who brought you EDLIN.
Solution Series: Works for Windows, Publisher and Money
2.0 VirusScan. Windows 3.1 found: Remove it? (Y/n).
And all the Borg left was this copy of Windows.
Cat's hate Windows, too.
Coming soon: Windows for Nintendo!
Curtain.bat = del \windows\*.* ^z
Data to Picard: No, Captain, I do NOT run WINDOWS.
DELETE vs WINDOWS. A real Knock Out!
DOS is your PC. Windows is your PC on drugs. Any Questions?
Double your drive space! Delete Windows!
Hal, open the pod bay doors or else I'll run MS Windows!
I loaded Windows and it slammed on my fingers!
I've got 256K of RAM. Why can't I run Windows?
If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tel
Insufficient Disk Space, please delete Windows. Please!
MASOCHIST: Windows SDK programmer with a smile!
OS/2 -- Just say maybe.
OS/2 2.0"=Your PC. "Windows"=Your PC on drugs. Questions?
OS/2 = Half an Operating System
OS/2 no need to do windows anymore!
OS/2 will *DEFINITELY* catch CPM by the year 2000...
OS/2: The Nightmare Continues...
Running Windows is better than washing them
Running Windows is better than washing them, or is it?
Running Windows is better than washing them.
Runtime error 1071. Company tech support out to lunch.
Runtime error 1072. Sorry, we had lousy beta testers.
Runtime error 1078. Next time don't pay the programmer up front.
Runtime error 1079. Warranty just expired.
Sorry! This virus requires Windows!
The best way to accelerate a Mac is at 32 ft/sec_
The best way to accelerate Windows is at escape velocity.
The magic of Windows - turn a 486-50 into a 4MHz XT...
The sad thing about windows bashing is. It's all true.
Time on your hands? . . . get Windows.
Turbo Pascal for WINDOWS? Borland's betrayed me.
Have you typed on an Amiga lately?
I used to have a Cray Y-MP C90, but swapped it for an A500 Amiga.
Satan talks backwards in OS/2 DLLs
Braniff ran OS/2
DOS is to OS/2 as a bicycle is to a Mack Truck
OS/2 will *DEFINITELY* catch CPM by the year 2000...
An elephant is a mouse for OS/2.
He who laughs last uses OS/2.
I tried OS/2 once, but I didn't inhale.
PCBored - the EDLIN of BBS software
PCBored was God's second mistake...
PCBored?  Call a WILDCAT! V3.02 BBS tonight!
Calling a PCBored makes for a Maalox Moment!
FATAL: PCBORED.EXE in C:\WC30.  Now formatting C:
In your PCBored config, specify BUGS=OFF
<W>indows <I>cons <M>ice <R>ointers ... <S>heesh
A BBSer's telephone bill knows no bounds..
