
New Game from UnfoCus:
By John J. Downey

- BONED:  A new role-playing adventure from the people who brought
you DORK, WITLESS, INFIDELITY, and THE BURPING HORROR.

- Where YOU, a mild-mannered computer nerd, surmount impossible
odds to set up your BBS to accept FidoNet.

An excerpt from the game:
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>CONFIGURE TOSSER/SCANNER AND PROCESS MAIL
The tosser portion performs flawlessly, while the scanner grabs all
outgoing messages in a two-mile radius and reduces it to
undecipherable goop.  Obviously you set something wrong.

>READ DOCUMENTATION
You don't have the documentation.

>PRINT OUT DOCUMENTATION
You print out the 400+ pages of documentation, painfully aware of
how many trees gave their all so you could have electronic mail.

>READ DOCUMENTATION
Okay.

"Define Area Management Groups according to your mailer, which
should be enabled for C3PO emulation.  If your mailer conforms to
the SLAMDOORINFACE configuration, set optional run-time parameters
to '-LK4' and set each EchoArea to match Input Screening Table V. 
Set Pulverize Default to Yes."

>SCREAM
You begin to get a sore throat.

>CALL FRIENDLY, HELPFUL SYSOP
After asking so many questions, there are no more friendly sysops.

>FIND PHRASE "OUTGOING" IN DOCUMENTATION
There is no such reference here.  Should there be?

>SCREAM AGAIN
Arrrrgggghhhh!
You are growing thirsty.
The phone is ringing.

>ANSWER PHONE
It is your EchoMail Hub, obviously upset about that accidental
packet you sent yesterday, which consisted of 1,233,975 messages
that read, "This is a test."

>BEG FOR MERCY
He will have none of it.  He projects himself through the phone
line and uses his mighty thumb to crush you like an insect.

*** YOU HAVE BEEN REMOVED FROM THE NET ***
Your score is -34245, which qualifies you as a Rad D00d in Search
of Warez.
(R)estart, Re(S)tore, or (Q)uit?
--------------------------------------
Available now for $75.00 a month!  (Includes phone line,
electrical, and EchoMail charges)
================================================
John is a 30 year old Planetarian (Trans: "He Who Bores In Round
Dark Room") and the Sysop of The Dome Ideas BBS. (FidoNet
1:272/104.)  He occupies his off-hours by planting light bulbs.
