Lettuce to the Editor

The following was not, strictly speaking, a letter to the editor.
It is my response to a comment from a new user on my BBS who is a
"sophmore" at a local college and had just filled out the new user 
survey.  (The name of the user has been changed to save him from 
some well deserved ridicule - his father might be a lawyer.)

 On 11-08-93 Joe User wrote to Dave Bealer... 
 
 JU>  Thanks for replying to my SECOND message.  All you had to  
 JU> say was that I can only up/download in public areas.  By  
 
I did tell you that.  As far as instantaneous responses, don't 
expect them here.  This BBS is only one of my many responsibilities.
If you require immediate service, you would be better off seeking a
board run by a full time sysop on a PAYING basis.  This board is free
and, as usual, you get what you pay for.  :-)
 
 JU> the way, I am the most intelligent, prolific reader on your  
 JU> board, I'm sure.  I can read rings around anyone and  
 JU> everyone.  The problem was that the information I needed  
 JU> was not where I expected it to be - where it is on most  
 JU> boards.  Sorry about the confusion. 
 
Since you're so well read, you'll already know that the term 
sophomore stems from the Greek words meaning "sophisticated moron."
Folks who need to tell everyone how intelligent and well read they
are are rarely either.
 
The information you sought was in Bulletin Menu option #1, which 
is displayed for your rapidly reading eyes each and every time 
you log on this BBS.  I fail to see where else the information 
should be. 
 
In any event this story does have a happy ending.  You did manage 
to read the directions and fill out the validated user survey. 
Welcome aboard as a validated user of The Puffin's Nest!  I'll 
put out some rings for you to read around. 
 
Dave
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Riku Saikkonen of Espoo, Finland asks: "Did you have 2.6 million 
distribution sites in September as you predicted?"
The answer is: "No, but we probably would have made it if we had
Bill Clinton's staff doing our statistics."
- - - - - - - - - - - -
We want to hear from our readers!  Get the same kind of respectful
answers to YOUR questions. 
Send you letters to: 
  Internet>  lettuce@rah.clark.net
  FidoNet>   lettuce at 1:261/1129
You can also ask your questions in one (or both) of our two new RAH
reader conferences.  Internet users can subscribe to our rahuser
mailing list (see the announcement section for instructions), and 
FidoNet users can ask their sysops to pick up the new RAHUSER echo 
from the RAH Publication BBS (1:261/1129).
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Sound Byte:

Q.  How does Al Gore's household keep Christmas politically correct?

A.  On Christmas morning, they give the presents TO the tree.

