TITLE: Here it is!
The Complete List of Blonde Jokes to date.
Compiled October 5, 1991
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Q:  What did the blonde girl say when her boyfriend blew in her ear?
 
A:  Like, thanks for the refill.
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Q:  What do you get when you put 25 blondes in a freezer?
 
A:  FROSTED FLAKES
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Q:  What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
 
A:  GIFTED
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Q:  How do blondes keep their ankles warm?
 
A:  WITH THEIR UNDERWEAR
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Q:  What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
 
A:  A THOUGHT
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Q:  What's a brunette's mating call?
 
A:  IS THAT BLONDE GONE YET?
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Q:  Why do blonde's have T.G.I.F. on their shoes?
 
A:  TOES GO IN FIRST
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Q:  How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
 
A:  OPENS THE CAR DOOR
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Q:  Why do blondes work seven days a week?
 
A:  SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO RE-TRAIN THEM ON MONDAY
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Q:  What is the first thing a blonde does when she gets up in the morning?
 
A:  GOES HOME
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Q:  What's a blondes idea of safe sex?
 
A:  Putting the car in park.
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Q:  Why do blondes like tilt steering wheels?
 
A:  More headroom.
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Q:  Why do blondes where hoop earings?
 
A:  So that they have a place to put their feet during sex.
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Q:  What do you call 6 blondes placed ear to ear?
 
A:  A wind tunnel.
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Q:  What does a blonde say after sex?
 
A:  So, are you all on the same team, or what?
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Q:  Why do blondes wear ponytails?
 
A:  To hide the valve stem in the back of their neck.
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Q:  How many blondes does it take to make toll house cookies?
 
A:  25:  1 to mix the dough, 1 to unwrap and stir in the chocolate chips,
         and 23 to peel the candy shell off the M&M's!
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Q:  Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
 
A:  She kept throwing away all the candies that had a 'W' on them.
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Q:  What do you call a blonde with hair dyed brown?
 
A:  Artificial intelligence.
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Q:  Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
 
A:  It kept falling out.
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Q:  Why don't blondes use vibrators?
 
A:  They chip their teeth.
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Q:  How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
 
A:  Shine a flashlight in her ear.
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Q:  Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
 
A:  You have to retrain them.
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Q:  How do you kill a blonde?
 
A:  Put spikes in her shoulder pads.
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Q:  Why don't blondes eat Jell-O?
 
A:  They can't fit two cups of water in the little boxes.
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Q:  Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
 
A:  Because red means stop.
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Q:  What is the mating call of the blonde?
 
A:  "I'm SOOO drunk!"
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Q:  What's the mating call of the redhead?
 
A:  "Next!"
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Q:  What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
 
A:  An interpreter.
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Q:  What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
 
A:  Introduces herself.
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Q:  What's the second thing a blonde does in the morning?
 
A:  Walks home.
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Q:  Why do blondes have more fun?
 
A:  They don't know any better.
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Q:  What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on top of her head?
 
A:  All you can eat-under a buck.
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Q:  How do you tell if a blonde's been using your computer?
 
A:  There's white-out on the screen.
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Q:  What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
 
A:  You only have to punch information into a computer once.
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Q:  What do a blonde and a computer have in common?
 
A:  You don't know how much either means to you until they go down on you.
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Q:  Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
 
A:  They can't dial the 11 in 911.
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Q:  How do you drown a blonde?
 
A:  Put a mirror on the bottom of the pool.
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Q:  How does a blonde like her eggs?
 
A:  Unfertilized.
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Q:  Why did the blonde only change her baby's diapers monthly?
 
A:  The box said "For 20 pounds."
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Q:  How does a blonde part her hair?
 
A:  By doing the splits.
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Q:  What do a bleached-blonde and a 747 have in common?
 
A:  They both have a black box.
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Q:  Why don't blondes eat pickles?
 
A:  They can't get their head in the jar.
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Q:  Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
 
A:  That's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
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Q:  Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
 
A:  To see what was on the other side.
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Q:  How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
 
A:  Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
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Q:  What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
 
A:  They know how many men went down on the Titanic.
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Q:  How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
 .
A:  She threw it off a cliff.
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Q:  Why was the blonde proud to finish her jigsaw puzzle in 6 months?
 
A:  The box said "2-4 years."
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Q:  What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?
 
A:  Not everybody has been in a limo.
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Q:  How does a blonde high-5?
 
A:  She smacks herself in the forehead.
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Q:  Why do blondes wear their hair up?
 
A:  To catch everything that goes over their heads.
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Q:  How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
 
A:  69 interrupted by a period.
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Q:  How do you brainwash a blonde?
 
A:  Give her a douche and shake her upside-down.
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Q:  Why did the blonde go halfway to Norway then turn around & come home?
 
A:  It took her that long to figure out a 14 inch Viking was a TV set.
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Q:  What do a screen door and a blonde have in common?
 
A:  The more you bang them, the looser they get.
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Q:  What does a blonde say after she's had sex?
 
A:  "Gee...are all you guys on the same team?"
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Q:  What do blondes do for foreplay?
 
A:  Remove their underwear.
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Q:  What important question does a blonde ask before sex?
 
A:  "By the hour, or flat rate?"
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Q:  What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
 
A:  Frosted Flakes.
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Q:  What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
 
A:  Spot.
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Q:  Why did the blonde drown in the pool?
 
A:  Someone stuck a scratch & sniff at the bottom.
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Q:  What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
 
A:  "Wonder if it's mine?"
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Q:  What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
 
A:  Bigfoot has been spotted.
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Q:  What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
 
A:  A Space Invader.
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Q:  Why does a blonde take the pill?
 
A:  So she knows what day it is.
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Q:  What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
 
A:  The back of her head.
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Q:  Why did the blonde have a bruised navel?
 
A:  Her boyfriend's blond too.
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Q:  What do blondes and cow patties have in common?
 
A:  The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.
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Q:  Why don't Blondes eat bananas?
 
A:  They can't find the zipper.
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Q:  What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
 
A:  You wouldn't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
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Q:  Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
 
A:  You can drop your load in it and it won't follow you around for a week.
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Q:  Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
 
A:  She kept throwing out all the 'W's...
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Q:  What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's?
 
A:  Her IQ goes up!
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Q:  How do you drive a blonde crazy?
 
A:  Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them.
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Q:  What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
 
A:  Data transfer.
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Q:  What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
 
A:  A mental block.
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Q:  How do you tell if a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
 
A:  By the M&M peels on the floor.
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Q:  How can you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
 
A:  The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
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Q:  Why did the blonde have square boobs?
 
A:  She forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.
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Q:  What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?

A:  Last year's hide-and-seek champ.
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Compiled from VTCoSy, Jokes/Laugh conference.
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