The Computer Crimes Casebook Presents:
The Case of the Call-Back Terrifier
by Dave Bealer

It was a dark and stormy night.  No, wait.  There once was a girl
from Nantucket...no, that's not it either.  <CNTL-ATL-DEL>

NerdBIOS V0.97(VHS)
64K RAH
Personality Carousel V2+  Schizo-Initialization Complete

There once was a sysop, whose name was Quasi Modem.  Quasi lived in a
really cool loft condo in a former bell tower.  Like most sysops,
Quasi had virtually no social life.  Quasi ran a standard message and 
file board called Seal Pup Souffle.  Quasi was not into political 
correctness, he was into handles.

Everything was going splendidly for Quasi until he started to suffer
from delusions that his users were trying to take advantage of him.
Some of the dastardly fiends were even trying to evade the download
ratios by logging on with different names.  Quasi was absolutely sure
of this because he can "sense" these things.

Quasi decided to address this problem by installing call-back
verifier software on his system.  This would keep the dreaded file
leaches from using more than one name to attack his system.

New users started complaining to Quasi about the inconvenience of
using the new-fangled CBV, but Quasi knew the whiners must all be
frustrated leaches and kicked them off his system.  Then one day
Quasi's hard disk blew up.  Of course, the Universal Computer Law
assured that none of the backups worked. 

This really didn't bother Quasi, since now he had the perfect excuse
to make all his existing users re-register using the CBV and the cool
Caller ID system he had just installed.  The file leaches would be
squashed once and for all! 

Many of Seal Pup Souffle's most active users complained bitterly
about the new system.  Some folks called late at night and were
forced to run around the house turning off all the telephone ringers
so as not to wake sleeping family members when the dread beast called
back.  Often, the wait for the return call was in vain. 

Quasi knew his software just *had* to be working fine, it always did!
Besides, door software is always bug free, everyone knows that!  The
bums who weren't completing the CBV process just couldn't handle
typing ATA when the return call came.  Serves 'em right!  Worse yet,
these creeps were probably file leeches and should be kept out of the
new setup completely. 

The final straw for many previously active users came when the Caller
ID system kept them from logging on Seal Pup Souffle from any phone
line other than their home data line.  Quasi Modem soon found himself
with a small handful of users and a vastly under used system.

Quasi Modem quickly degenerated into a bitter, broken sysop.  His
once friendly user base was in ruins.  Quasi's sole consolation was
that he now had time to write and distribute those viruses he had
begun to dream of...to punish the leeches that destroyed his board!
{RAH}
