The Laws of Cartoon Motion

"I KNOW this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied
law!"
     -Bugs Bunny, High Diving Hare (1949)

1. ANY BODY SUSPENDED IN SPACE WILL REMAIN SUSPENDED IN SPACE UNTIL
MADE AWARE OF ITS SITUATION.
  Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland.  He
loiters flippantly until he chances to look down.  At this point the
familiar principle of 32 feet per second takes precedence.

2. ANY BODY IN MOTION WILL TEND TO REMAIN IN MOTION UNTIL SOLID MATTER
INTERVENES SUDDENLY.
  Wheter shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon
characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone
pole or an outsize boulder retards their foward motion absolutley. 
Sir Issac Newton called this sudden termination the stooge's surcease.

3. ANY BODY PASSING THROUGH SOLID MATTER WILL LEAVE A PERFORATION
CONFORMING TO ITS PERIMETER.
  Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the
specialty of victims of direct pressure explosions and reckless
cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the
wall of a house.

4. THE TIME REQUIRED FOR AN OBJECT TO FALL 20 STORIES IS GREATER THAN
OR EQUAL TO THE TIME IT TAKES FOR WHOEVER KNOCKED IT OFF THE LEDGE TO
SPIRAL DOWN 20 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS TO ATTEMPT TO CAPTURE IT UNBROKEN.
  Such an object is inevitably priceless; the attempt to catch it,
inevitably unsuccessful.

5. ALL PRINCIPILES OF GRAVITY ARE NEGATED BY FEAR.
  Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel 
them away from the surface.  A spooky noise or an adversary's
signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a
chandelier, a treetop or the crest of a flagpole.  The feet of a
running character or the wheels of a speeding auto need never touch
the ground, ergo fleeing turns to flight.

6. AS SPEED INCREASES OBJECTS CAN BE SEEN IN SEVERAL DIFFERENT PLACES
AT ONCE.
  This is particularly true in tooth-and-claw fights, in which a
character's head may be seen emerging from a cloud of altercation at
several places simultaneously.  This effect is common as well among
bodies that are spinning or being throttled, and simulates our own
vision's trailing retention of images.  A "wacky" character has the
option of self-replication only at maniac-high speeds and may richocet
off the walls to achieve the velocity required for self-mass-liberation.

7. CERTAIN BODIES CAN PASS THROUGH A SOLID WALL PAINTED TO RESEMBLE A
TUNNEL ENTRANCE, OTHERS CANNOT.
  This tompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at
least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface
to trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this
theoretical space.  The painter is flattened against the wall when he
attempts to pursue into thhe painting.  This is utlimatley a problem
of art, not science.

8. NECESSITY PLUS WILL PROVOKES SPONTANEOUS GENERATION.
  Dangerously palpable objects - such as mallets, dynamite, pies and
alluring female attire - can be manifested from what might previously
have been considered "thin" air, but only when the friction of
immeadiate jeopardy makes the object's apperance imperative.  The
controversial "pocket" theory suggests these objects are drawn from
unseen recesses of a character's costume, or from a storehouse
immeadiatley off-screen, but this merely defers the question of how
any absolutly apt object is instantaneously available.

9. ANY VIOLENT REARRANGEMENT OF FELINE MATTER IS IMPERMANENT.
  Cartoon cats possess more deaths than even the traditional nine
lives afford.  They can be sliced, splayed, accordion-pleated or
disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed.  After a few moments of
blinking self-pity, they reinflate, elongate, snap back or solidify.

10. FOR EVERY VENGEANCE, THERE IS AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE REVENGEANCE.
  This is one law of animated cartoon motion that also applies to the
physical world at large.  For that reason, we need the relief of
watching it happenn to a duck instead.