     Want to get back at the Iraqis in your own way?!?  Distribute this
     file to every any any BBS that you can find, so that people can add
     their own comments and jokes.

     *********************************************************************

          Did you hear about Saddam Hussein's latest retaliatory
          move?

          He recalled all of the 7-11 managers............
          ****************************************************

          Did you hear about the Iraqi helicopter pilot?

          He was cold so he shut the fan off.
          ****************************************************

          Did you hear about the Iraqi parachute?

          It opens on impact.
          ****************************************************

          Did you hear about the Iraqi son who left home because his
          father wouldn't get off his back?

          He had to go back home because he couldn't leave his
          brothers' behind.
          ****************************************************

          Did you hear about the Iraqi who moved his entire house six
          inches to the side?

          He needed to tighten his loose clothesline!
          ****************************************************

          Did you hear about the Iraqi who was charged with buggery?

          He hired a smart lawyer and had the charge reduced to
          "following too close".
          ****************************************************

          Did you hear about the new dare devil, Saddam Knievel?

          He's going to try to jump over 50 Iraqis with a
          steamroller!
          ****************************************************

          Did you hear about the two Iraqis on "That's Incredible"?

          One had a job, and the other knew his father.
          ****************************************************

          Did you hear that half of Iraq moved to Poland?

          They raised the I.Q. of both countries!
          ****************************************************

          Did you read the shortest book ever written.......

          Iraqis I Met While Yachting.
          ****************************************************

          Do you know how to get rid of a bunch of Iraqis?

          Tell a bunch of Cajuns they're good eating, and out of
          season..
          ****************************************************

          Hear about the guy who was half Italian and half Iraqi?

          Made himself an offer he couldn't understand...
          ****************************************************

          How are an Iraqi and a cue ball alike?

          The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of
          them..
          ****************************************************

          How are an Iraqi and a pair of jeans different?

          A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.
          ****************************************************

          How are Iraqi children taught to put on their underwear?

          Brown in the back, yellow up front.
          ****************************************************

          How do Iraqis practice birth control?

          The men put a nail in their shoe....it makes them limp!
          ****************************************************

          How do you brainwash an Iraqi?

          Give him an enema.
          ****************************************************

          How do you get an Iraqi pregnant?

          Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
          ****************************************************

          How do you keep an Iraqi happy in his old age?

          Tell him a joke when he's young.
          ****************************************************

          How do you kill an Iraqi?

          Smash the toilet seat down on his head while he's taking a
          drink.
          ****************************************************

          How do you separate the men from the boys in Iraq?

          With a crowbar.
          ****************************************************

          How do you solve the Iraqi problem?

          Tell the blacks they taste like fried chicken.
          ****************************************************

          How does a Iraqi count?

          "1, 2, 3, another, another, another...."
          ****************************************************

          How does a little Iraqi girl know when her mother is having
          her period?

          Her brother's dick tastes funny.
          ****************************************************

          How does an Iraqi count his camels?

          He just counts the legs, and divides by four.
          ****************************************************

          What's an Iraqi 10?

          The back of a 3.
          ****************************************************

          What's an Iraqi gentleman?

          A man who takes a girl out three times before
          propositioning her brother.
          ****************************************************

          What's brown, shriveled and has cobwebs?

          An Iraqi asshole.
          ****************************************************

          What's five miles long and has a thousand legs with an I.Q.
          of 3?

          An Iraqi war parade.
          ****************************************************

          What's gross ignorance?

          One hundred and forty-four Iraqis.
          ****************************************************

          What's the definition of an Iraqi virgin?

          A twelve year old that can run faster than all her
          brothers.
          ****************************************************

          What's the difference between an Iraqi woman and a catfish?

          One has whiskers and smells bad, and the other is a fish.
          ****************************************************

          What's the key to survival in the Iraqi army?

          Never leave your buddies' behind....
          ****************************************************

          What's the most useless thing on an Iraqi woman's body?

          An Iraqi man.
          ****************************************************

          What are the five worst years of a Iraqi's life?

          Third grade.
          ****************************************************

          What do Iraqi's do on a Saturday night?

          Sit under palm trees and eat their dates.
          ****************************************************

          What do Iraqi women do when their done sucking cock?

          Spit out the camel hair.
          ****************************************************

          What do you call a dead Iraqi?

          A good day's work.
          ****************************************************

          What do you call a doctor that does abortions on Iraqis?

          A "crime-stopper".
          ****************************************************

          What do you call a pimple on an Iraqi's ass?

          A brain tumor.
          ****************************************************

          What do you call a pretty girl in Iraq?

          A tourist.
          ****************************************************

          What do you call an Iraqi girl who keeps running away from
          home?

          A virgin.
          ****************************************************

          What do you call an Iraqi in a court room?

          Guilty!
          ****************************************************

          What do you call an Iraqi paratrooper?

          Instant air pollution.
          ****************************************************

          What do you call an Iraqi who marries a black?

          A social climber.
          ****************************************************

          What do you call an Iraqi who marries a gorilla?

          A social climber.
          ****************************************************

          What do you call an Iraqi with 200 girlfriends?

          A camel herder.
          ****************************************************

          What do you call an Iraqi with a degree?

          A liar!
          ****************************************************

          What do you call an Iraqi with an I.Q. of 176?

          A village.
          ****************************************************

          What do you call an old, worn out, cotton Saddam Hussein
          doll with rocks in it's mouth?

          A no good cotton rock sucker.......
          ****************************************************

          What do you call four Iraqis in a Cadillac?

          Grand theft auto.
          ****************************************************

          What do you call this? (Puff out cheeks)

          An Iraqi sperm bank.
          ****************************************************

          What do you get if you mix an Iraqi and a black?

          A car thief that can't drive.....
          ****************************************************

          What do you get when you cross a gay Eskimo and a Iraqi?

          A snow blower that doesn't work.
          ****************************************************

          What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an Iraqi?

          A car thief that can't drive.
          ****************************************************

          What do you get when you cross a monkey and an Iraqi?

          Nothing a monkey is to smart to screw with an Iraqi.
          ****************************************************

          What do you get when you cross an Iraqi and a pig?

          Nothing. There are some things even a pig won't do.
          ****************************************************

          What do you get when you cross an Iraqi and an ape.

          A retarded ape.
          ****************************************************

          What do you have when you have 10,000 Iraqis at the bottom
          of the ocean?

          A good start.
          ****************************************************

          What do you say to an Iraqi in a 3-piece suit?

          Will the defendant please rise?
          ****************************************************

          What doesn't belong here? Lobster, Octopus, Shrimp, or an
          Iraqi run over by a truck.

          The octopus, all the others are crustaceans.
          ****************************************************

          What has 1,000,000 legs and an I.Q. of four???

          The Iraqi Army.
          ****************************************************

          What is Iraqi foreplay?

          Good camel, good camel.
          ****************************************************

          What is long and hard that an Iraqi bride gets on her
          wedding night?

          A new last name.
          ****************************************************

          What is the difference between an Iraqi mother-in-law and
          an elephant?

          About 2 pounds.
          ****************************************************

          Which one doesn't belong:  a shrimp, a lobster, a salmon,
          or a Iraqi with a piano on top of him?

          The salmon.  All the rest are crustaceans.
          ****************************************************

          Who won the Iraqi beauty contest?

          Nobody.
          ****************************************************

          Why are camels called "ships of the desert?"

          Because they are full of Iraqi seamen.
          ****************************************************

          Why are rectal thermometers illegal in Iraq?

          Because they cause too much brain damage.
          ****************************************************

          Why are scientists breeding Iraqis instead of rats?

          Because they multiply faster and you don't get attached to
          them.
          ****************************************************

          Why can't you circumcise Iraqis?

          There's no end to those pricks.
          ****************************************************

          Why did the Iraqi boy leave home?

          He didn't like the way he was being reared.
          ****************************************************

          Why did the Iraqi staple his nuts together?

          "If you can't lick 'em, join 'em"
          ****************************************************

          Why did they have to cancel drivers education & sex
          education in Iraq?

          The camel died.
          ****************************************************

          Why do Iraqi carry turds in their wallets?

          .. for identification ..
          ****************************************************

          Why do Iraqi men have mustaches?

          So they can look like their mothers.
          ****************************************************

          Why do Iraqi people smell?

          So blind people can hate them too.
          ****************************************************

          Why do Iraqi women wear long skirts?

          So they can hide their no pest strips.
          ****************************************************

          Why do Iraqis keep their flys open?

          In case they want to count to eleven.
          ****************************************************

          Why do Iraqis make such lousy lovers?

          They always wait for the swelling to go down.
          ****************************************************

          Why do Iraqis make the best astronauts?

          Because they take up space in school.
          ****************************************************

          Why does an Iraqi wear a hat to the toilet to take a crap?

          So that he will know which end to wipe.
          ****************************************************

          Why don't Iraqi girls use vibrators?

          It chips their teeth...
          ****************************************************

          Why don't Iraqi husbands ever get head from their wives?

          Beggars can't be chewers!
          ****************************************************

          Why don't Iraqis eat M&Ms?

          They have a hard time peeling them.
          ****************************************************

          Why don't Iraqis ever get hemorrhoids?

          Because they are such perfect assholes!
          ****************************************************

          Why don't Iraqis like blow jobs?

          They don't like any jobs.
          ****************************************************

          Why don't Iraqis like blow jobs?

          They're afraid it'll interfere with their unemployment
          benefits.
          ****************************************************

          Why don't they give Iraqi work crews more than half an hour
          for lunch?

          They don't want to have to retrain them.
          ****************************************************

          Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education
          on the same day in Iraq?

          They don't want to wear out the camel.
          ****************************************************

          Why don't young Iraqi boys become circumcised???

          So during a sand storm they have a place to put their
          bubblegum.
          ****************************************************

          Why is it illegal to kill flies in Iraq?

          Because that's the national bird.
          ****************************************************

          Why is semen white and pee yellow?

          So Iraqis can tell if they're coming or going.
          ****************************************************

          Why is the average age of the Iraq army, 40?

          Because they take 'em right out of high school!
          ****************************************************

          Why isn't Saddam Hussein circumcised?

          So he'll have a place to put his gum....

               --  or  --

          Because there is no end to the big dick....
          ****************************************************

          Why wasn't Christ born in Iraq?

          Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

     *********************************************************************

     This concludes the slamming of Iraqis (even though they deserve much,
     much more).

     Please support our brave men and women participating in the Desert
     Storm & Desert Shield operations in the Middle East.  They deserve
     all the support that we can give them.

     Let's send all the peace activists to Iraq to see if they can do
     better.  My guess is that the Iraqis would make short work of them
     without giving a thought to what they have to say.  Are they so
     stupid that they think this conflict is about oil?!?
