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         Doodah Humor Magazine      Volume 4, Number 1
                                          August, 1991
----------------------------------------------------------------

Editorial Offices:

Charlie Radd, Editor and publisher
Paul Forrester, supervisory editor

plus a staff of K's submitting articles under various aliases
and/or real names.

The editor can be reached through the Politics Conference on the
ILink  network found  on PCBoard.  No guarantee is made that you
will receive  a reply.  We read the  mail, but we may or may not
answer it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

                                 CONTENTS
                        Let's Dump On The Germans
                         The Hacker's Dictionary

------------------------------------------------------------------------
                             Brrrm....brrrm!

                Vy iz ze Cherman car built like ze Panzer?
                 To invade ze vorlt of course!  Dumkopf!

    The  only  good  thing  you  can say about Germans is that they can't 
help  it.   It's  part  of  the  national  make-up,  ingrained into their 
subconscious,  and they're probably not aware of it, any more that George 
Bush  knows  when  he  gestures  erratically with his hands.  With George 
Bush,  it's  annoying  but  harmless.  With the Germans it's annoying and 
fatal.

    For  example,  what  about all this Audi nonsense.  You know.  You've 
seen  the  advertisements:   buy  an  Audi  right away and arrive at your 
holiday  villa/ski  slope/Swiss  bank  before  the  probes  begin.  Don't 
mention Poland.

    It's  a  whole philosophy.  Get up early.  Arrive first.  They did it 
twice  with  guns,  and  now  they do it every bloody day of your holiday 
with  towels, getting up ferociously early, leaving the towels out on all 
the best seats round the pool, and then going back to bed.

    Of  course  they  need something as fast as an Audi--they still think 
that  the  element of surprise is vital.  Plus they have to make the fast 
dash   to  Zurich  and  similar:   "Ach,  ve  cannot  stop,  ve  haff  ze 
appointment  mit  der  numbered  bank account..."  Next stop, S. America.  
"Chust  popping  off to see mein old freund Adolf und check on ze cocaine 
crop..."

    Don't  laugh.   This  is serious.  A. Hitler, Esq. forced Herr Doktor 
Porsche  to design a "people car" for Germany, but as soon as the factory 
was  ready,  he  started  shooting,  switching the production capacity to 
"soldier  cars".   After the war, the Allies went to the factory, saw the 
car  which  never  made  it,  and  laughed.   Forty  years and 20 million 
Beetles   later,   who's   feeling   silly?   So  don't  laugh.   Neville 
Chamberlain was smiling when he came back and look what happened to him.

    A  study of recent history also supplies a good explanation for BMWs. 
Over-engineered  is  not  a word which applies.  The smaller models still 
have  the designer's name engraved on the back axle.  "NOAH" it says, and 
quite  frankly,  it should never have been allowed out of the Ark.  If it 
doesn't get you on a dry road you've been lucky, but never turn your back
in the wet.

    The  thing  is,  of course, that a lot of the time they think they're 
still  building  for  Heinz Guderian, and have to smash resistance, brick 
walls, and the Low Countries as well as the speed limit.

    Many  of  them  haven't  grasped  the concept of the rubber tire, and 
have  yet  to  come  to  grips  with  the problems of Roadholding Without 
Treads.

    In  the  same way that the '30s Lufthansa fleet consisted of aircraft 
which  were  useless  at  carrying passengers but top class at delivering 
bomb  loads,  many  modern  German  cars  are dual purpose, although once 
again  it must be said that they don't do it deliberately--moreover, they 
just can't help it.

    There's  enough strength in the bodywork of most German cars to mount 
a  fully-armored revolving turret with 88mm gun instead of the usual four 
doors  and  windows; that's what I'd call a passenger safety compartment.  

    And  spacious?   Check  out the rear seat legroom if you want to know 
what lebensraum is all about.

    Naturally  they've  all  got  a  six-year  anti-perforation warranty.  
Read  the  small  print  and  it says rust, but what's the betting it can 
hold off a couple of rounds of your avarage armor-piercing as well?

    And    yet   with   all   this   going   on,   German   drivers   are 
disproportionately  courteous.  There's no sign of the brutish hun behind 
the  wheel,  although  you'll  soon notice the dearth of service halts on 
the  autobahn.  Unsurprisingly this is because they don't like to break a 
journey,  and  would rather keep going.  Once the wheels are turning they 
want  to  roll  right  on  to  the  edge  of the Atlantic, and then start 
digging in.

    This  stop-for-nothing  approach  is followed through with longer and 
longer  service  intervals.   An  average  BMW can make it from Berlin to 
Moscow (and back again) without a service, even in the thick of winter.

    They're  big  on  rallies,  too.   Munich, Nuremberg....Even so, Audi 
have  recently  pulled  out  after years of world domination, forced into 
retreat  by  the  frogs,  unable to face the onslaught of the plastic pig 
Peugeots.  That, and a certain come-uppance in the desert again.

    Audi  strenuously  deny  switching  cars in the middle of a gruelling 
rally  event, despite the fact that a number of erudite onlookers thought 
otherwise and had photographs which apparently proved it.


------------------------------------------------------------------------

                  "The Hacker's Dictionary", Part 2 of 4

DEMENTED adj. Yet another term of disgust used to describe a program.
   The connotation in this case is that the program works as designed,
   but the design is bad.  For example, a program that generates large
   numbers of meaningless error messages implying it is on the point
   of imminent collapse.

DEMON (dee'mun) n. A portion of a program which is not invoked
   explicitly, but which lays dormant waiting for some condition(s) to
   occur.  See DAEMON.  The distinction is that demons are usually
   processes within a program, while daemons are usually programs
   running on an operating system.  Demons are particularly common in
   AI programs.  For example, a knowledge manipulation program might
   implement inference rules as demons.  Whenever a new piece of
   knowledge was added, various demons would activate (which demons
   depends on the particular piece of data) and would create
   additional pieces of knowledge by applying their respective
   inference rules to the original piece.  These new pieces could in
   turn activate more demons as the inferences filtered down through
   chains of logic.  Meanwhile the main program could continue with
   whatever its primary task was.

DIABLO (dee-ah'blow) [from the Diablo printer] 1. n. Any letter-
   quality printing device.  2. v. To produce letter-quality output
   from such a device.

DIDDLE v. To work with in a not particularly serious manner.  "I
   diddled with a copy of ADVENT so it didn't double-space all the
   time."  "Let's diddle this piece of code and see if the problem
   goes away."  See TWEAK and TWIDDLE.

DIKE [from "diagonal cutters"] v. To remove a module or disable it.
   "When in doubt, dike it out."

DMP (dump)  See BIN.

DO PROTOCOL [from network protocol programming] v. To perform an
   interaction with somebody or something that follows a clearly
   defined procedure.  For example, "Let's do protocol with the check"
   at a restaurant means to ask the waitress for the check, calculate
   the tip and everybody's share, generate change as necessary, and
   pay the bill.

DOWN 1. adj. Not working.  "The up escalator is down."  2. TAKE DOWN,
   BRING DOWN: v. To deactivate, usually for repair work.  See UP.

DPB (duh-pib') [from the PDP-10 instruction set] v. To plop something
   down in the middle.

DRAGON n. (MIT) A program similar to a "daemon" (q.v.), except that it
   is not invoked at all, but is instead used by the system to perform
   various secondary tasks.  A typical example would be an accounting
   program, which keeps track of who is logged in, accumulates load-
   average statistics, etc.  At MIT, all free TV's display a list of
   people logged in, where they are, what they're running, etc. along
   with some random picture (such as a unicorn, Snoopy, or the
   Enterprise) which is generated by the "NAME DRAGON".  See PHANTOM.

DWIM [Do What I Mean] 1. adj. Able to guess, sometimes even correctly,
   what result was intended when provided with bogus input.  Often
   suggested in jest as a desired feature for a complex program.  A
   related term, more often seen as a verb, is DTRT (Do The Right
   Thing).  2. n. The INTERLISP function that attempts to accomplish
   this feat by correcting many of the more common errors.  See HAIRY.

ENGLISH n. The source code for a program, which may be in any
   language, as opposed to BINARY.  Usage: slightly obsolete, used
   mostly by old-time hackers, though recognizable in context.  At
   MIT, directory SYSENG is where the "English" for system programs is
   kept, and SYSBIN, the binaries.  SAIL has many such directories,
   but the canonical one is [CSP,SYS].

EPSILON [from standard mathematical notation for a small quantity] 1.
   n. A small quantity of anything.  "The cost is epsilon."  2. adj.
   Very small, negligible; less than marginal (q.v.).  "We can get
   this feature for epsilon cost."  3. WITHIN EPSILON OF: Close enough
   to be indistinguishable for all practical purposes.

EXCH (ex'chuh, ekstch) [from the PDP-10 instruction set] v. To
   exchange two things, each for the other.

EXCL (eks'cul) n. Abbreviation for "exclamation point".  See BANG,
   SHRIEK, WOW.

EXE (ex'ee)  See BIN.

FAULTY adj. Same denotation as "bagbiting", "bletcherous", "losing",
   q.v., but the connotation is much milder.

FEATURE n. 1. A surprising property of a program.  Occasionally docu-
   mented.  To call a property a feature sometimes means the author of
   the program did not consider the particular case, and the program
   makes an unexpected, although not strictly speaking an incorrect
   response.  See BUG.  "That's not a bug, that's a feature!"  A bug
   can be changed to a feature by documenting it.  2. A well-known and
   beloved property; a facility.  Sometimes features are planned, but
   are called crocks by others.  An approximately correct spectrum:

   (These terms are all used to describe programs or portions thereof,
   except for the first two, which are included for completeness.)
        CRASH  STOPPAGE  BUG  SCREW  LOSS  MISFEATURE
        CROCK  KLUGE  HACK  WIN  FEATURE  PERFECTION
   (The last is never actually attained.)

FEEP 1. n. The soft bell of a display terminal (except for a VT-52!);
   a beep.  2. v. To cause the display to make a feep sound.  TTY's do
   not have feeps.  Alternate forms: BEEP, BLEEP, or just about
   anything suitably onomatopoeic.  The term BREEDLE is sometimes
   heard at SAIL, where the terminal bleepers are not particularly
   "soft" (they sound more like the musical equivalent of sticking out
   one's tongue).  The "feeper" on a VT-52 has been compared to the
   sound of a '52 Chevy stripping its gears.

FENCEPOST ERROR n. The discrete equivalent of a boundary condition.
   Often exhibited in programs by iterative loops.  From the following
   problem: "If you build a fence 100 feet long with posts ten feet
   apart, how many posts do you need?"  Either 9 or 11 is a better
   answer than the obvious 10.  The answer is 11, being displayed below,
   with each "-" representing one foot of fencing.  The width of the
   fence post is immaterial for all practical purposes.

1   10ft   2   20ft   3   30ft   4   40ft   5   50ft   6   60ft   7  70
|----------|----------|----------|----------|----------|----------|-----

ft   8   80ft   9   90ft  10   100ft  11
-----|----------|----------|----------|


FINE (WPI) adj. Good, but not good enough to be CUSPY.  [The word FINE
   is used elsewhere, of course, but without the implicit comparison
   to the higher level implied by CUSPY.]

FLAG DAY [from a bit of Multics history involving a change in the
   ASCII character set originally scheduled for June 14, 1966]
   n. A software change which is neither forward nor backward
   compatible, and which is costly to make and costly to revert.
   "Can we install that without causing a flag day for all users?"

FLAKEY adj. Subject to frequent lossages.  See LOSSAGE.

FLAME v. To speak incessantly and/or rabidly on some relatively
   uninteresting subject or with a patently ridiculous attitude.
   FLAME ON: v. To continue to flame.  See RAVE.  This punning
   reference to Marvel comics' Human Torch has been lost as
   recent usage completes the circle:  "Flame on" now usually
   means "beginning of flame".

FLAP v. To unload a DECtape (so it goes flap, flap, flap...).  Old
   hackers at MIT tell of the days when the disk was device 0 and
   microtapes were 1, 2,... and attempting to flap device 0 would
   instead start a motor banging inside a cabinet near the disk!

FLAVOR n. 1. Variety, type, kind.  "DDT commands come in two flavors."
   See VANILLA.  2. The attribute of causing something to be
   FLAVORFUL.  "This convention yields additional flavor by allowing
   one to..."  3. On the LispMachine, an object-oriented programming
   system ("flavors"); each class of object is a flavor.

FLAVORFUL adj. Aesthetically pleasing.  See RANDOM and LOSING for
   antonyms.  See also the entry for TASTE.

FLUSH v. 1. To delete something, usually superfluous.  "All that
   nonsense has been flushed."  Standard ITS terminology for aborting
   an output operation.  2. To leave at the end of a day's work (as
   opposed to leaving for a meal).  "I'm going to flush now."  "Time
   to flush."  3. To exclude someone from an activity.

FOO 1. [from Yiddish "feh" or the Anglo-Saxon "fooey!"] interj. Term
   of disgust.  2. [from FUBAR (Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition),
   from WWII, often seen as FOOBAR] Name used for temporary programs,
   or samples of three-letter names.  Other similar words are BAR, BAZ
   (Stanford corruption of BAR), and rarely RAG.  These have been used
   in Pogo as well.  3. Used very generally as a sample name for
   absolutely anything.  The old `Smokey Stover' comic strips often
   included the word FOO, in particular on license plates of cars.
   MOBY FOO: See MOBY.

FRIED adj. 1. Non-working due to hardware failure; burnt out.  2. Of
   people, exhausted.  Said particularly of those who continue to work
   in such a state.  Often used as an explanation or excuse.  "Yeah, I
   know that fix destroyed the file system, but I was fried when I put
   it in."

FROB 1. n. (MIT) The official Tech Model Railroad Club definition is
   "FROB = protruding arm or trunnion", and by metaphoric extension
   any somewhat small thing.  See FROBNITZ.  2. v. Abbreviated form of
   FROBNICATE.

FROBNICATE v. To manipulate or adjust, to tweak.  Derived from
   FROBNITZ (q.v.).  Usually abbreviated to FROB.  Thus one has the
   saying "to frob a frob".  See TWEAK and TWIDDLE.  Usage: FROB,
   TWIDDLE, and TWEAK sometimes connote points along a continuum.
   FROB connotes aimless manipulation; TWIDDLE connotes gross
   manipulation, often a coarse search for a proper setting; TWEAK
   connotes fine-tuning.  If someone is turning a knob on an
   oscilloscope, then if he's carefully adjusting it he is probably
   tweaking it; if he is just turning it but looking at the screen he
   is probably twiddling it; but if he's just doing it because turning
   a knob is fun, he's frobbing it.

FROBNITZ, pl. FROBNITZEM (frob'nitsm) n. An unspecified physical
   object, a widget.  Also refers to electronic black boxes.  This
   rare form is usually abbreviated to FROTZ, or more commonly to
   FROB.  Also used are FROBNULE, FROBULE, and FROBNODULE.  Starting
   perhaps in 1979, FROBBOZ (fruh-bahz'), pl. FROBBOTZIM, has also
   become very popular, largely due to its exposure via the Adventure
   spin-off called Zork (Dungeon).  These can also be applied to
   non-physical objects, such as data structures.

FROG (variant: PHROG) 1. interj. Term of disgust (we seem to have a
   lot of them).  2. Used as a name for just about anything.  See FOO.
   3. n. Of things, a crock.  Of people, somewhere inbetween a turkey
   and a toad.  4. Jake Brown (FRG@SAIL).  5. FROGGY: adj. Similar to
   BAGBITING (q.v.), but milder.  "This froggy program is taking
   forever to run!"

FROTZ 1. n. See FROBNITZ.  2. MUMBLE FROTZ: An interjection of very
   mild disgust.

FRY v. 1. To fail.  Said especially of smoke-producing hardware
   failures.  2. More generally, to become non-working.  Usage: never
   said of software, only of hardware and humans.  See FRIED.

FTP (spelled out, NOT pronounced "fittip") 1. n. The File Transfer
   Protocol for transmitting files between systems on the ARPAnet.  2.
   v. To transfer a file using the File Transfer Program.  "Lemme get
   this copy of Wuthering Heights FTP'd from SAIL."

FUDGE 1. v. To perform in an incomplete but marginally acceptable way,
   particularly with respect to the writing of a program.  "I didn't
   feel like going through that pain and suffering, so I fudged it."
   2. n. The resulting code.

FUDGE FACTOR n. A value or parameter that is varied in an ad hoc way
   to produce the desired result.  The terms "tolerance" and "slop"
   are also used, though these usually indicate a one-sided leeway,
   such as a buffer which is made larger than necessary because one
   isn't sure exactly how large it needs to be, and it is better to
   waste a little space than to lose completely for not having enough.
   A fudge factor, on the other hand, can often be tweaked in more
   than one direction.  An example might be the coefficients of an
   equation, where the coefficients are varied in an attempt to make
   the equation fit certain criteria.

GABRIEL [for Dick Gabriel, SAIL volleyball fanatic] n. An unnecessary
   (in the opinion of the opponent) stalling tactic, e.g., tying one's
   shoelaces or hair repeatedly, asking the time, etc.  Also used to
   refer to the perpetrator of such tactics.  Also, "pulling a
   Gabriel", "Gabriel mode".

GARBAGE COLLECT v., GARBAGE COLLECTION n. See GC.

GARPLY n. (Stanford) Another meta-word popular among SAIL hackers.

GAS [as in "gas chamber"] interj. 1. A term of disgust and hatred,
   implying that gas should be dispensed in generous quantities,
   thereby exterminating the source of irritation.  "Some loser just
   reloaded the system for no reason!  Gas!"  2. A term suggesting
   that someone or something ought to be flushed out of mercy.  "The
   system's wedging every few minutes.  Gas!"  3. v. FLUSH (q.v.).
   "You should gas that old crufty software."  4. GASEOUS adj.
   Deserving of being gassed.  Usage: primarily used by Geoff
   Goodfellow at SRI, but spreading.

GC [from LISP terminology] 1. v. To clean up and throw away useless
   things.  "I think I'll GC the top of my desk today."  2. To
   recycle, reclaim, or put to another use.  3. To forget.  The
   implication is often that one has done so deliberately.  4. n. An
   instantiation of the GC process.

GEDANKEN [from Einstein's term "gedanken-experimenten", such as the
   standard proof that E=mc^2] adj. An AI project which is written up
   in grand detail without ever being implemented to any great extent.
   Usually perpetrated by people who aren't very good hackers or find
   programming distasteful or are just in a hurry.  A gedanken thesis
   is usually marked by an obvious lack of intuition about what is
   programmable and what is not and about what does and does not
   constitute a clear specification of a program-related concept such
   as an algorithm.

GLASS TTY n. A terminal which has a display screen but which, because
   of hardware or software limitations, behaves like a teletype or
   other printing terminal.  An example is the ADM-3 (without cursor
   control).  A glass tty can't do neat display hacks, and you can't
   save the output either.

GLITCH [from the Yiddish "glitshen", to slide] 1. n. A sudden
   interruption in electric service, sanity, or program function.
   Sometimes recoverable.  2. v. To commit a glitch.  See GRITCH.
   3. v. (Stanford) To scroll a display screen.

GLORK 1. interj. Term of mild surprise, usually tinged with outrage,
   as when one attempts to save the results of two hours of editing
   and finds that the system has just crashed.  2. Used as a name for
   just about anything.  See FOO.  3. v. Similar to GLITCH (q.v.), but
   usually used reflexively.  "My program just glorked itself."

GOBBLE v. To consume or to obtain.  GOBBLE UP tends to imply
   "consume", while GOBBLE DOWN tends to imply "obtain".  "The output
   spy gobbles characters out of a TTY output buffer."  "I guess I'll
   gobble down a copy of the documentation tomorrow."  See SNARF.

GORP (CMU) [perhaps from the generic term for dried hiker's food,
   stemming from the acronym "Good Old Raisins and Peanuts"] Another
   metasyntactic variable, like FOO and BAR.

GRIND v. 1. (primarily MIT) To format code, especially LISP code, by
   indenting lines so that it looks pretty.  Hence, PRETTY PRINT, the
   generic term for such operations.  2. To run seemingly
   interminably, performing some tedious and inherently useless task.
   Similar to CRUNCH.

GRITCH 1. n. A complaint (often caused by a GLITCH (q.v.)).  2. v. To
   complain.  Often verb-doubled: "Gritch gritch".  3. Glitch.

GROK [from the novel "Stranger in a Strange Land", by Robert Heinlein,
   where it is a Martian word meaning roughly "to be one with"] v. To
   understand, usually in a global sense.

GRONK [popularized by the cartoon strip "B.C." by Johnny Hart, but the
   word apparently predates that] v. 1. To clear the state of a wedged
   device and restart it.  More severe than "to frob" (q.v.).  2. To
   break.  "The teletype scanner was gronked, so we took the system
   down."  3. GRONKED: adj. Of people, the condition of feeling very
   tired or sick.  4. GRONK OUT: v. To cease functioning.  Of people,
   to go home and go to sleep.  "I guess I'll gronk out now; see you
   all tomorrow."

GROVEL v. To work interminably and without apparent progress.  Often
   used with "over".  "The compiler grovelled over my code."  Compare
   GRIND and CRUNCH.  Emphatic form: GROVEL OBSCENELY.

GRUNGY adj. Incredibly dirty or grubby.  Anything which has been
   washed within the last year is not really grungy.  Also used
   metaphorically; hence some programs (especially crocks) can be
   described as grungy.

GUBBISH [a portmanteau of "garbage" and "rubbish"?] n. Garbage; crap;
   nonsense.  "What is all this gubbish?"

GUN [from the GUN command on ITS] v. To forcibly terminate a program
   or job (computer, not career).  "Some idiot left a background
   process running soaking up half the cycles, so I gunned it."

HACK n. 1. Originally a quick job that produces what is needed, but
   not well.  2. The result of that job.  3. NEAT HACK: A clever
   technique.  Also, a brilliant practical joke, where neatness is
   correlated with cleverness, harmlessness, and surprise value.
   Example: the Caltech Rose Bowl card display switch circa 1961.
   4. REAL HACK: A crock (occasionally affectionate).
   v. 5. With "together", to throw something together so it will work.
   6. To bear emotionally or physically.  "I can't hack this heat!" 7.
   To work on something (typically a program).  In specific sense:
   "What are you doing?"  "I'm hacking TECO."  In general sense: "What
   do you do around here?"  "I hack TECO."  (The former is
   time-immediate, the latter time-extended.)  More generally, "I hack
   x" is roughly equivalent to "x is my bag".  "I hack solid-state
   physics."  8. To pull a prank on.  See definition 3 and HACKER (def
   #6).  9. v.i. To waste time (as opposed to TOOL).  "Watcha up to?"
   "Oh, just hacking."  10. HACK UP (ON): To hack, but generally
   implies that the result is meanings 1-2.  11. HACK VALUE: Term used
   as the reason or motivation for expending effort toward a seemingly
   useless goal, the point being that the accomplished goal is a hack.
   For example, MacLISP has code to read and print roman numerals,
   which was installed purely for hack value.
   HAPPY HACKING: A farewell.  HOW'S HACKING?: A friendly greeting
   among hackers.  HACK HACK: A somewhat pointless but friendly
   comment, often used as a temporary farewell.
   [The word HACK doesn't really have 69 different meanings.  In fact,
   HACK has only one meaning, an extremely subtle and profound one
   which defies articulation.  Which connotation a given HACK-token
   has depends in similarly profound ways on the context.  Similar
   comments apply to a couple other hacker jargon items, most notably
   RANDOM. - Agre]

HACKER [originally, someone who makes furniture with an axe] n. 1. A
   person who enjoys learning the details of programming systems and
   how to stretch their capabilities, as opposed to most users who
   prefer to learn only the minimum necessary.  2. One who programs
   enthusiastically, or who enjoys programming rather than just
   theorizing about programming.  3. A person capable of appreciating
   hack value (q.v.).  4. A person who is good at programming quickly.
   Not everything a hacker produces is a hack.  5. An expert at a
   particular program, or one who frequently does work using it or on
   it; example: "A SAIL hacker".  (Definitions 1 to 5 are correlated,
   and people who fit them congregate.)  6. A malicious or inquisitive
   meddler who tries to discover information by poking around.  Hence
   "password hacker", "network hacker".

HACKISH adj. Being or involving a hack.  HACKISHNESS n.

HAIR n. The complications which make something hairy.  "Decoding TECO
   commands requires a certain amount of hair."  Often seen in the
   phrase INFINITE HAIR, which connotes extreme complexity.

HAIRY adj. 1. Overly complicated.  "DWIM is incredibly hairy."  2.
   Incomprehensible.  "DWIM is incredibly hairy."  3.  Of people,
   high-powered, authoritative, rare, expert, and/or incomprehensible.
   Hard to explain except in context: "He knows this hairy lawyer who
   says there's nothing to worry about."

HAKMEM n. MIT AI Memo 239 (February 1972).  A collection of neat
   mathematical and programming hacks contributed by many people
   at MIT and elsewhere.

HANDWAVE 1. v. To gloss over a complex point; to distract a listener;
   to support a (possibly actually valid) point with blatantly faulty
   logic.  2. n. The act of handwaving.  "Boy, what a handwave!"  The
   use of this word is often accompanied by gestures: both hands up,
   palms forward, swinging the hands in a vertical plane pivoting at
   the elbows and/or shoulders (depending on the magnitude of the
   handwave); alternatively, holding the forearms still while rotating
   the hands at the wrist to make them flutter.  In context, the
   gestures alone can suffice as a remark.

HARDWARILY adv. In a way pertaining to hardware.  "The system is
   hardwarily unreliable."  The adjective "hardwary" is NOT used.  See
   SOFTWARILY.

HELLO WALL  See WALL.

HIRSUTE  Occasionally used humorously as a synonym for HAIRY.

HOOK n. An extraneous piece of software or hardware included in order
   to simplify later additions or debug options.  For instance, a
   program might execute a location that is normally a JFCL, but by
   changing the JFCL to a PUSHJ one can insert a debugging routine at
   that point.

HUMONGOUS, HUMUNGOUS  See HUNGUS.

HUNGUS (hung'ghis) [perhaps related to current slang "humongous";
   which one came first (if either) is unclear] adj. Large, unwieldy,
   usually unmanageable.  "TCP is a hungus piece of code."  "This is a
   hungus set of modifications."

IMPCOM  See TELNET.

INFINITE adj. Consisting of a large number of objects; extreme.  Used
   very loosely as in: "This program produces infinite garbage."

IRP (erp) [from the MIDAS pseudo-op which generates a block of code
   repeatedly, substituting in various places the car and/or cdr of
   the list(s) supplied at the IRP] v. To perform a series of tasks
   repeatedly with a minor substitution each time through.  "I guess
   I'll IRP over these homework papers so I can give them some random
   grade for this semester."

JFCL (djif'kl or dja-fik'l) [based on the PDP-10 instruction that acts
   as a fast no-op] v. To cancel or annul something.  "Why don't you
   jfcl that out?"  [The licence plate on Geoff Goodfellow's BMW is
   JFCL.]

        *****  End of "The Hackers Dictionary", part 2 of 4  *****

------------------------------------------------------------------------

                            Coming Next Issue:

            Parts Three and Four of "The Hacker's Dictionary"


                             Coming someday:

                  The long-awaited Edgar Allen Poe spoof
                   Other things too numerous to mention
