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                    HEALING FOR THE HEART NEWSLETTER
Vol. 1 Issue 1                                            January 1997
             An outreach of Healing Love Outreach Ministries

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To subscribe/unsubscribe to this newsletter just send e-mail to 
news@hlom.org
If you need prayer, send your request to prayer@hlom.org

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                      *FROM THE DIRECTOR'S DESK*

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It's hard to believe that 1996 has come and gone already, 
but time stands still for no one- it marches on.
1997 promises to be a year of growth and opportunity for ministry.  
Not just for me but for all of you who have experienced adversity in 
your lives and have overcome.

I am reminded of what the apostle wrote to the Corinthians 
in 2 Cor 1:3,4 "Blessed be the God and Father of our 
Lord Jesus Christ, 
the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 
who comforts us in all our tribulation; 
that we may be able to comfort those who are
in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves 
are comforted by God."

The word comfort could be better translated as 
encouragement.  Paul is saying just as God has encouraged us 
during our time of trouble, we can be an encouragement to others-
no matter what trouble they may be facing.  
See the bottom lne is this-just as God has delivered and brought us 
through He will and can deliver them also.

So, I encourage you to send in your testimonies and words of 
encouragement.  You never know what lives you may touch.

Be Blessed
Carrie

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Have you visited HLOM's NEW Bookstore?  Take a look at 
http://hlom.org/bookstore.html

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SPONSORS NEEDED 
There are a few young  women who would like to attend our Women of 
Worth discipleship group that will begin on January 28th but find it 
difficult to afford the $45 fee.  
If you would like to help sponsor one of these women please send 
your check to Healing Love Outreach Ministries P.O. Box 823,  
Broken Arrow, OK 74013.  Please specify on the memo line of your 
check "WOW". All gifts are tax-deductible.

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                        *NIGHTMARES AFTER RAPE*
			    by Sonya Haskins

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	I was walking to my car after visiting the high school where I 
had graduated five years ago.  When I noticed several men drinking in 
the parking lot. I quickened the pace toward my car.  Suddenly one of 
the men ran over and  grabbed me.  I began to scream, but either no one 
heard me or no one cared to help me.  In the background I could hear 
the other men laughing and cheering for their friend.
	
	The man put one hand over my mouth as he began to force his 
other hand up my skirt.  I was frightened.  I tried to jerk away, but 
he was stronger than I.  Then I realized that I could bite him and 
perhaps this would give me enough  time to escape.  When I bit him, 
I bit down so hard that two fingers fell from his hand.  I could 
taste the salt in my mouth.  I thought I would be sick.
	
	He began screaming and stumbled back toward his friends.  
As I ran to my car I could hear that the laughter and cheers now had 
been replaced with shouts of obscenity. It did not matter; I had to 
escape.  When I got in my car I began to drive as quickly as I could.  
I pressed the gas pedal closer and closer to the floor.  
I wanted to get away.  I wanted to forget.
	
	When I woke up I was startled that there seemed to be a taste 
of salt lingering in my mouth.  I knew it had been only another 
nightmare, but it took me a minute to recover from the fright.
	
	That nightmare was one of many which had begun after I was 
raped several years ago.  I had them almost every night and was 
afraid to stay in my apartment alone.  I was sure that something 
even worse was destined to happen to me since I had decided I was 
a bad personwho attracted bad circumstances.  It wasnt only the 
rape that had made me decide this.  

	I had a childhood filled with one alcoholic step-father 
and another later who was not only an alcoholic, but abused my 
mother, brother, and myself.  I had experienced loneliness and hunger 
as well as physical and sexual abuse.  After the rape, I began to 
wonder if I was a modern day Job who was being tested in my faith.  
	
	When I was in high school, a teacher began inviting me to 
church, where I accepted Christ as my Savior at age 16.  Looking back 
today, I believe the experiences I had been through were designed to 
make me allow him into my life as not only savior, but also Lord.  
I say this because after the rape, I took the situation into my own 
hands by being promiscuous, something I hadnever done before.  
	
	Despite the sexual abuse from my childhood, I had remained a 
virgin until the night I was raped.  After that I was determined never 
to be the victim again.  Within two months, however, I had missed a 
period and was suffering now from my own sins more than those imposed 
upon me from others.I prayed that God would help me straighten out my 
life. 	

	I prayed for forgiveness for my behavior, that I had tried 
to solve my own problems instead of turning to His healing comfort.  
I prayed that I would see His plan to my life and that I would no 
longer question it, but would just allow Him to lead me.  I was tested 
for HIV several times within the next year and they all came back 
negative, as has one other test since then.  A pregnancy test also 
quickly revealed that I was not carrying a baby.  

	Because of the experiences from my childhood and the rape, 
I am slow to trust others.  I still sometimes fear going out after 
dark or staying alone at night if my husband is away, but there have 
been positive effects as well.  I have become a more supportive 
person to others in need.  I also find that sharing my story can 
sometimes help people realize that victims should be supported 
instead of judged, as happens so often in our society.  It is amazing
how this can come up in a topic of conversation in a grocery store 
line just when the lady waiting behind me needs it.
	
	I am happy to say that I rarely have nightmares anymore.  I can 
finally sleep soundly beside my wonderful husband of almost three years 
and look forward to the mornings when I greet our beautiful baby 
daughter with a sincere smile of happiness and love.

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Sonya Haskins lives in Tennessee with her "adorable" 10 month old 
daughter and husband.  She is a homemaker and a freelance writer.  
Her other writing credits include writing and co-editing Virtue, 
a newsletter for an inpatient psychiatric hospital, as well as 
numerous articles in The Sullivan County News concerning child abuse, 
AIDS, and geriartic issues.

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			      *Hurt to Heal*
			    by Peggie Bohanon

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			 I cried, "Lord, use me!" 
                           He answered, "Wait."

                            Then came the hurt. 
                  Loneliness--I walked through desolation 
                          to share His fellowship. 
              Doubt--I wept through despair to seek His faith. 
                     Fear--I wrestled through darkness 
                            to seize His freedom.

                       And the Balm of Gilead flowed 
                         into the depths of my soul. 
                      It cleansed; it soothed; it healed.

                       Again I cried, "Lord, use me!" 
                       This time He answered, "Go!"

                         "I send you forth to heal. 
                           Walk with the lonely-- 
                       share with them my fellowship. 
                         Weep with the despairing-- 
                          seek with them My faith. 
                          Wrestle with the fearful-- 
                        seize with them My freedom.

                      And the Balm of Gilead will flow 
                       into the depths of their souls. 
                               It will cleanse; 
                               it will soothe; 
                                it will heal."

                        He spoke again: "My child, 
                           I spared you no hurt-- 
                        that I might use you to heal!"

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This poem is copyright 1996 by Peggie C. Bohanon. 
Springfield, MO 65803. All rights reserved.

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Peggie Bohanon lives in Missouri with her husband and two sons.  
She is an early childhood writer for Assemblies of God Sunday School 
curriculum. Visit her excellent website at http://www.peggiesplace.com

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NOTICE
Healing for the Heart newsletter was originally going to be in print 
form, but due to the projected postal costs, we elected to make it an 
e-mail newsletter. 
This will also make it available to our brothers and sisters in Christ 
that live outside of the USA.

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EDITOR: Dominica Anderson (dominica@hlom.org
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR: Carrie Anderson (cbander@hlom.org)
To request our writer's guidelines send e-mail to guidelines@hlom.org
To subscribe/unsubscribe to this newsletter send e-mail to 
news@hlom.org

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This entire newsletter is copyright 1997 by 
Healing Love Outreach Ministries.
Visit us at http://hlom.org

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