Unofficial Summary of the Rush Limbaugh Show

for Monday, September 26, 1994

by John Switzer

This unofficial summary is copyright (c) 1994 by John Switzer.
All Rights Reserved. These summaries are distributed on
CompuServe and the Internet, and archived on CompuServe (DL9 of
the ISSUES forum) and Internet (cathouse.org and
grind.isca.uiowa.edu). The /pub/jrs directory at ftp.netcom.com
contains the summaries for the past 30 days. Distribution to
other electronic forums and bulletin boards is highly encouraged.
Spelling and other corrections gratefully received.

Please read the standard disclaimer which was included with the
first summary for this month. In particular, please note that
this summary is not approved or sanctioned by Rush Limbaugh or
the EIB network, nor do I have any connection with them other
than as a daily listener.

*************************************************************

September 26, 1994

BRIEF SUMMARY OF TOPICS: Sierra Club reorganizes to counter
declining membership and donations; poll finds that more
Generation X'ers believe in UFOs than in Social Security;
anthropologist finds that women of Pompei were fat, hairy, and
had headaches, plus homeless were around, too; National Press
Club conference discusses talk radio's impact, and as usual they
get it wrong; left demands that Rush be 100% correct 100% of the
time, but Rush will match his accuracy rating against the rest of
the media's any day of the week; Cokie Roberts doesn't think
Rush's listeners like how he speaks the truth but only his
"attitude"; Sarah MacLendon complains that people like talk radio
only because they are ignorant; University of Chicago's National
Opinion Research Center does 22-year survey on the differences
between Republicans and Democrats; the TV and print media are
upset at how talk radio is more effective and has more of an
immediate impact than they; words to the promo for the "C-Team,"
plus Bill gives Jimmy a new mission; President Clinton's visit to
New York snarls traffic as usual; caller is outraged that U.S. is
going to buy back Haitian weapons instead of just taking them;
Marine sergeant notes that last week the Haitian army was called
thugs and butchers, but when U.S. soldiers kill some of them, the
soldiers are accused of using excessive force; caller thinks Rush
keeps himself insulated from opposing and disagreeing opinions;
U.S. News and World Report notes that U.S. military planners for
Haiti invasion had to figure in "Bill Clinton's indecisiveness
and waffle"; press is giving high praises to Mike Synar, still
unable to realize why his constituents voted him out; study finds
that Democrats are less affluent, more unhappy, and more prone to
anti-social and self-destructive behavior than Republicans;
caller thinks Rush should be talking about the increasing
unconstitutional federal powers; caller is outraged that the
Defense Department is going to investigate Marines who were
involved in the Haitian firefight; Forbes report details why the
1915-1934 Haitian occupation failed: basically, the U.S. failed
to understand Haiti's society and social problems; caller notes
that U.S. attentions to Haiti, especially any influx of aid, will
help to destabilize the Dominican Republic; Bill Clinton gives
campaign speech for Mario Cuomo at Harlem Church; for Cuomo to
improve New York state, he first has to undo a lot of what he's
done over the past 16 years; caller says that conservatives
caused the Great Depression and that the 80s weren't much better;
mood of American public might not be pro-conservative, but it's
definitely anti-incumbent and anti-Washington, and perhaps even
anti-liberal; North Korea threatens U.S. over naval maneuvers off
Korean peninsula; topless model in England gets free breast
implants after waiting only eight weeks; Tennessee's governor is
running for re-election, even though he promised his state he
would be only a one-term governor; Cuban-American caller incensed
that Rush is "mingling" with the enemy by planning to attend a
gala dinner for the Cuban Medical Relief Fund in Paris; Rush has
to make up his mind whether to emcee another dinner for Charlton
Heston in Los Angeles next month; Rush does ad for NY Times;
caller sees signs of double-digit inflation at his business;
caller gives "the Presidential list of countries the U.S. could
invade for democracy"; Kathleen Brown shows up at LA AIDS Walk
only long enough to get some pictures taken at the photo-op;
caller says Rush is to blame for the administration's lack of
foreign policy because he's so good at predicting what they do,
and the administration then has to change its plans; caller asks
what Mayor Rudolph Giuliani will do to cut back New York's
welfare, which is given to one out of seven city residents.

LIMBAUGH WATCH

September 26, 1994 - It's now day 615 (day 634 for the rich and
the dead, and 43 days until the November elections) of "America
Held Hostage" (aka the "Raw Deal" which has 847 days left) and
692 days after Bill Clinton's election, but Rush is still on the
air with 659 radio affiliates (with more than 20 million
listeners weekly world-wide), 250 TV affiliates (with a national
rating of 3.7), and a newsletter with over 475,000 subscribers.

His first book was on the NY Times hardback non-fiction best-
seller list for 54 consecutive weeks, with 2.6 million copies
sold, but fell off the list after Simon and Schuster stopped
printing it. The paperback version of "The Way Things Ought To
Be" was on the NY Times paperback non-fiction best-seller list
for 28 weeks. Rush's second book, "See, I Told You So," was on
the NY Times best-seller list for 16 weeks and has sold over 2.45
million copies.

NEWS

o	The Sierra Club has announced it will begin a massive
reorganization in January in response to continuing drops in both
donations and membership. The expected 1995 budget is $40
million, down nearly 10% from the 1994 budget, and the Club's net
worth will have dropped nearly $1 million to an estimated $6.7
million by the end of this year. The 500,000-member group has
lost over 100,000 members since 1991, and the remaining members
are giving less in per capita donations.

Executive Director Carl Pope said the group would not only lay
off some of its 350 workers, but would also reduce the
organization's focus on overpopulation, energy conservation, and
international issues; instead, the group will concentrate on
"preserving open spaces and preventing pollution."

Pope, however, did not blame the Club's financial difficulties on
a perception among its members that the group was losing focus;
rather, Pope blamed the economy, saying "the economy, especially
in California where a third of our membership is, has been
extremely bad. People are able to give less money. The difference
between giving us $40 and $35 . . . adds up."

o	A poll commissioned by the nonpartisan group Third
Millennium found that while 46% of Generation X'ers (those
between 18 and 34) believe in UFOs, only 9% believe that Social
Security will have the money to pay for their retirement; barely
25% believe Social Security will even exist when they retire.
More than 82% believed that workers should be able to invest at
least a portion of their Social Security contributions into
private pension funds over which they would have partial or
complete control.

The poll also surveyed senior citizens and found that 33% think
they should be getting more from Social Security, even though
their accumulated benefits have already exceeded their
contributions.

LEST WE FORGET

The following are from the Rush Limbaugh show on Monday,
September 28, 1992:

o	Bill Clinton had a 15-point lead in the polls, and Rush
noted that nobody would have dared to guess in 1991 that Bush
would appear to be "hopelessly out of it." Nobody would have
dared believe that Clinton would be ahead in the polls after he
told one story after another about the draft. Nobody would have
believed that Clinton would be the leader in the polls while
telling America it needed a new top tax rate.

In a very bad sign, high-placed Republicans were already starting
to talk about who was to blame for George Bush's expected defeat
in November. Some Republicans were blaming Reaganomics, while
others were attacking James Baker.

o	Evidence appeared showing that contrary to the Clinton
campaign's statements, Bill Clinton had not always been pro-
choice. Nancy Leebee, Executive Directory of the Planned
Parenthood chapter in Little Rock, said that "we were never
certain about his stand. When he began his candidacy for
President last fall it was the first time as Governor he ever
said he was pro-choice."

As recently as the 1990 election gubernatorial campaign, Clinton
made overtures via third parties to the Arkansas right to life
groups. In a 1986 letter to an anti-abortion leader, Clinton said
that he "was opposed to abortion and government funding of
abortion." Clinton also stated that he backed the concept of the
ban on government funding of abortion, but that he "had some
questions about its impact."

In July, 1992, though, Clinton wrote a constituent that he "never
wavered" in his support of Roe vs. Wade. Dee Dee Meyers of the
Clinton campaign explained this discrepancy by saying "there's
been an evolution in his position."

o	Rush couldn't understand why George Bush and Bill Clinton
were pandering to Ross Perot; he wished that Bush, at least,
would stand up and start telling the truth about Perot - Perot
did not want to be President and didn't have the temperament for
the job. Perot also had only 13 to 15% in the polls, and his
disapproval ratings were hovering around 47%.

o	Ross Perot released a new book about United We Stand
America which featured the following proposals:

-	Increase gasoline taxes 10 cents a gallon a year for five
years.

-	Increase taxes on Social Security benefits on retirees
who have individual incomes of $25,000/year or joint incomes of
$32,000/year.

-	Raise the upper income tax bracket from 31% to 33% for
individuals making $55,550 a year or more, and on joint filers
making more than $89,290 a year.

-	Tax employer-paid health benefits as personal income if
the insurance premiums were more than $135/month for individuals
or $335/month for families.

-	"The more affluent" would pay Medicare taxes on all of
their income, as opposed to the current upper limit of $130,000 a
year.

-	The capital gains income tax for small businesses would
be eliminated, and the tax reduced for other long-term
investment.

-	Investment credits would be given to businesses for R&D.

-	Entitlement spending would be cut 15%, affecting
Medicare, Medicaid, food stamps, veterans' benefits, and farm
price supports. All other federal spending would be cut 10%
across the board, with exceptions being made only for debt
servicing and military spending.

-	Military spending, however, would be reduced an
additional $40 billion over Bush's proposed cuts, chiefly through
the elimination of the B-2 bomber and the Seawolf Submarine.

o	Mike from Huntington Beach, CA reported that when Hillary
Clinton was in town the previous week, she told the crowd that
the Gore/Clinton campaign was a "return to common sense and
conservative principles."

o	Senator Ted Kennedy's father-in-law Edmund Reggie was
convicted of defrauding Acadia Savings and Loan of $3.9 million,
which had a maximum sentence of 10 years in prison and a $10,000
fine. Reggie, a long-time friend and confidant of Louisiana
governor Edwin Edwards, claimed that the US Attorney has been
after him for 10 and a half years.

o	Ted Turner gave a speech in New York City in which he
attacked nearly every aspect of western civilization. For
example, Turner claimed that the Ten Commandments' injunction of
"thou shalt not kill" did not seem to protect blacks and Indians
from white men. Turner also complained "when one religion says
`only we shall go to the Promised Land,' everybody loses. Now is
the time for all good persons to come to the aid of the planet.
We invented the atomic bomb before the chainsaw, but the chainsaw
did more damage."

Turner also stated that the blue dye used in toilet bowl cleaners
should be banned, and he called on the employees of the oil
industry to quit their jobs. Turner then asked "what good is it
to be rich in a burned out world? I have five children, but if I
were getting married today I would only have two. We have to get
progressive." Turner then compared city dwellers to rats in a
cage.

o	"This is a dangerous vegetable, ladies and gentlemen"
Rush stated, referring to the August edition of the Journal of
Addiction which reported that Czechoslovakian scientists found
carrots could be addicting. Three patients had eaten so many
carrots that their skin turned orange, and when they were
deprived of carrots, they experienced withdrawal symptoms.

o	Dr. Death, aka Jack Kevorkian, assisted his fifth
Michigan suicide, and many Michigan residents were demanding a
state law to outlaw physician-assisted suicide. Kevorkian had
previously been charged with assisting a suicide, but was
released when prosecutors found no state laws that applied.

Dean from Santa Cruz, CA was a family physician who noted that
the Hippocratic Oath was instituted so that people could trust
their doctor and know he would not kill their retarded child or
induce an abortion. Dean, though, saw society slipping back into
the times when doctors kill as well as heal.

As to overpopulation, Dean noted that a book by Jacqueline Casen
of Humboldt State disproved the overpopulation myths. The entire
population of the world could be put into Texas, with the same
population density as a major city such as London or New York.
There would even be space left over for industry and parks. Dan
thought that there was a real war going on against the human
race.

********

MORNING UPDATE

Estrelle Lazar, an Australian anthropologist, has published new
information about the ancient city of Pompei, buried in 79 A.D.
by a volcanic eruption. Contrary to the legend (which was
undoubtedly helped along by the Hollywood extravaganza movie)
that the women of Pompei were unbelievable beauties, Lazar found
that many of the women in Pompei suffered from a hormonal
disorder that made them fat, hairy, and prone to headaches. These
women were obviously "fierce, feminist, and in your face."

Lazar also examined 30 houses in Pompei, and found evidence that
squatters (currently known as homeless) had taken over a
significant part of the city. This is big news because liberals
love to claim homelessness was created in the 80s by the evil
Reagan administration, but Lazar's studies show that the homeless
actually have been around since the early 70s - 70s A.D. that is.

Rush is no anthropologist, but it's obvious that liberals were in
charge of Pompei because the city was left in ruins. Furthermore,
he suspects that the women of Pompei didn't drink orange juice,
explaining why they were so hairy and fat.

FIRST HOUR

Thanks to Mike Maimone's quick hand with the mike switch, Rush
doesn't realize he's on the air as he tells his staff that "they
are just jealous they don't have the air time that I do, and that
means they don't have the impact I have - that's all it is!"
Rush, upon learning he's on the air, explains that he was caught
unawares because lately he's been coming into the studio later
than ever; he used to be in the studio 10 minutes before air
time, so there was lots of time to discuss pertinent matters with
his staff, but now, thanks to his busy schedule, he's making it
to the mike with perhaps 90 seconds to spare.

Rush notes that his opening comments were in reference to the
National Press Club discussion about "the impact of talk radio"
which was televised last Wednesday and then repeated over the
weekend. Of course, the panel, which was moderated by Cokie
Roberts, concluded talk radio's impact was all bad, and no matter
how they tried to avoid mentioning Rush's name, the entire
discussion seemed to gravitate back to him in one way or another.

Nobody on the panel was getting it at all, not even Michael
Harrison, a talk show host himself who also publishes a monthly
magazine for talk show hosts, "Talkers." Harrison typically
represents the talk show industry whenever the media decides to
bash it, and he's usually accompanied by some talk show host who
is bitter about the lack of audience they're getting.

Rush would have expected Harrison, though, to avoid the typical
cliches about him and talk radio, but there was no such luck. For
example, Harrison talked about how Rush was on a "different
level" now, and therefore "couldn't get away with being as
inaccurate now as he has in the past."

Rush sighs at how his critics seem to demand that he be 100%
right 100% of the time. The liberal media group FAIR, for
example, came out with a report this summer that studied Rush's
six years on national radio, and which came up with only 43
"inaccuracies and lies." However, when you take away those things
that were taken out of context and otherwise distorted, what's
left are, at best, differences of opinion and nothing more.

In contrast, it's being reported that director and producer Ken
Burns has made at least 85 errors in his massive retrospective of
baseball which is airing on PBS this week; when asked about the
85 errors in his 14 hours or so of film, Burns said people were
nitpicking. Thus, 85 errors in 14 hours or so of baseball don't
matter to the intellectuals, yet Rush continues to get reamed for
having 43 "errors" in over 4,000 hours of his radio show. Rush
digresses to note that a joke making the rounds is that you can
tell how boring a sport is by how many intellectuals love it, and
this speaks volumes, both about baseball and about intellectuals.

Getting back to the point, Rush notes that the liberals will
never demand that Ken Burns stay away from documentaries because
of his 85 errors in 14 hours of film, but they will latch on the
flimsiest of "errors" in their attempts to destroy Rush's
credibility. But even if every one of the 43 "errors" that FAIR
listed were indeed inaccuracies, errors, or lies, how does that
ratio compare with the rest of the media's?

Yet because of these 43 supposed errors, Michael Harrison, along
with a great many others in the print and TV media, assume that
Rush never gets it right and that his entire career has been
based on inaccuracies. These critics, though, have never bothered
to call EIB to check on these errors; EIB has a 5,000 word piece
that refutes the accusations made by FAIR, but the mainstream
media seems uninterested in it. Rush is therefore thinking of
distributing it with the Limbaugh Letter just to get the word
out, to his loyal listeners, if no one else.

Rush points out, though, that Harrison is a nice guy who is
trying to defend talk radio, which puts him a step above the rest
of the mainstream media. Rush, though, is more than willing to
stack his accuracy record against anyone else in the media,
especially since some of the inaccuracies that might exist
occurred simply because Rush was using figures supplied by
others.

Harrison, though, seems to think that Rush has to clean up his
act and has only two years to do it. His remarks caused a lot of
others to join in on attacking Rush and talk radio, which
surprised Harrison; he then tried to counteract the damage by
pointing out that the sole reason Rush was so popular with his
listeners was because of his credibility. This was too much for
Cokie Roberts, who tried to get off the topic by saying that the
panel was "playing with words." She then tried to claim that
Rush's listeners weren't listening because of the truth he spoke,
but because they liked and shared Rush's "attitude."

As Rush and Marta watched this, they couldn't believe how those
in the printed and TV press were totally incapable of getting
over Rush; columnist and TV commentator Chris Matthews, for
example, insisted that Rush had never had any original thoughts
at all, and Cokie Roberts just nodded her head in agreement. The
interesting thing, though, was that all of these people do the
same thing Rush does, but they just don't have as much time as he
does.

Cokie Roberts might have 12 minutes a week, while Chris Matthews'
"America's Talking" is still on a very fledgling cable network
that's desperately trying to get an audience. In addition, these
people seem to think that whatever they do on the TV and in print
is journalism at its finest, and they refuse to believe that talk
radio is anything but an irresponsible and outrageous medium.

Sarah MacLendon of the White House press corps stated that the
reason talk shows are dangerous is because the Americans who
listen to them are ignorant, proving the arrogance that typifies
the mainstream media elite. MacLendon then insisted that the
reason Americans are ignorant is because the mainstream media
isn't doing its job properly.

Harrison showed that he wasn't totally out of it by commenting
that this remark was most arrogant thing he had ever heard. Mark
Gearan, White House Communications Director, then spoke up to say
that talk radio was important, but he insisted that hosts should
become moderators, allowing "both sides" to have their say.
Gearan also insisted "we must stop incendiary language on talk
radio, like `feminazi' and `environmentalist wacko.' "

These media elites were just besides themselves about how talk
radio was having more of an impact than they were. Of course,
nobody's done any studies on the impact that the nightly news has
on politics, yet the media insists on putting talk radio under a
microscope. If the mainstream media, though, were put under this
same scrutiny as they put hosts such as Rush, they might just
become what they're supposed to be.

********

The Unconventional Wisdom column in Sunday's Washington Post
featured a 22-year survey taken by the University of Chicago's
National Opinion Research Center. The survey examined Democrats
and Republicans, and it explains a lot of things about Democrats
such as why they want high taxes.

Rush will talk more about this survey a bit later, but gives a
bit of a taste by saying that the survey found that the average
income of Democrats was 25% below that of Republicans. Democrats
die younger, have nastier habits, are more solitary, and are
basically miserable. Rush promises much more on this later.

*BREAK*

Phone	Mike from Birmingham, AL

Mike saw a CSPAN show a week and half ago that was similar to
what Rush was talking about it, and he thought CSPAN did a good
job portraying the journalists as boorish and pompous. In
particular, "the guy from Newsweek, the guy with the messed up
hair" came off as very arrogant.

Rush says that there was no Newsweek guy on the show he saw, and
Mike says what he saw was some kind of conference in a hotel
convention room about ten days ago. Michael Harrison was also
there, defending talk radio and to some extent Rush, whose name
came up. Harrison in particular told the audience that the print
media had better wake up and realize what's going on in America.

Rush says there's obviously a new paradigm in both America and
the media today - the traditional way that Americans used to
learn something was in print - the newspapers and magazines. Then
along came radio, and for a while it brought the news directly to
the people in a "live" sense; television then followed and took
over everything, and now it's become the dominant media of the
American public.

The print journalists especially hated this because the TV guys
were making a lot of money, ostensibly for only reading copy off
teleprompters. This created a bubbling jealousy between the two
groups for a while, but over time it became a peaceful
coexistence; the TV people started hiring print journalists as
commentators - David Broder, Robert Novak, Jack Germond are just
a few of the print journalists who have ended up being featured
on TV. Eventually, TV and the print media became comfortable with
one another.

Then in 1988 there came a quiet revolution in talk radio, and the
TV and print media were directly threatened. Talk radio's real
"threat," though, is that it goes directly to the people and it
has an immediate impact. The effectiveness of talk radio upsets
the Washington Beltway media elite, not just out of petty
jealousy but because they know that talk radio is doing the job
they're supposed to be doing.

*BREAK*

Rush wonders if anyone has heard about how America's Caribbean
superpower allies in Haiti are doing, and he plays EIB's latest
tribute to the hero of Haiti, Jimmy Carter:

<<Theme to the "A-Team" plays as Announcer speaks>> In 1979, a
one-term President was sent home by the American voters, there to
disappear behind a cloak of obscurity into the Georgia
underground. Today he survives as a soldier of fortune,
specializing in pulling the current resident of the White House's
peanuts out of the fire. If you have a problem, and no one else
can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire the C-team.

<<music fades to background as Bill Clinton speaks on the phone>>
Hey, Jimmy! Nice job you did there in Haiti! What's going on,
dude?

<<Jimmy Carter>> Oh, I'm fulfilling my part of the agreement by
finishing up some sheetrock preparing for General Cedras.

<<Clinton>> Uh, look, Jimmy. I need, uh, well, to ask another
favor of you.

<<Carter>> What - do you need me to go to North Korea to pull
your peanuts out of the fire one more time?

<<Clinton>> Not exactly, but I need your help on something that's
really top secret! Uh, I need you to build me a secluded cabin,
way out in the woods so I can get away from her . . . uh, it all.

<<Carter>> What, something like a two bedroom, one bath?

<<Clinton>> No, no - just a one room with a Jacuzzi would be just
fine!

<<Carter>> Should I call Hillary for decorating ideas!

<<Clinton, shouting>> No! Uh, I wouldn't bring it up - it's a
surprise!

<<Carter>> Okay - Mr. President, I have to go back to work now.
But I must say the American people couldn't have elected someone
better suited to make me look good by comparison.

<<Clinton, a bit confused>> Well, uh, thank you very much, uh,
yeah, thanks!

********

Rush notes President Clinton is in New York today, generating the
typical gridlock that exists whenever any President visits the
town. Streets are closed off and traffic has become a mess,
backed up in every direction. The funny thing, though, is that
while the Secret Service never publicizes the route that the
President will take in Manhattan, everyone knows that the
President always stays at the Presidential Suite in the Waldorf-
Astoria.

In addition, the route the President takes to the Waldorf-Astoria
really isn't that big a secret because NYC always cleans it up in
advance. Just as NYC officials cleaned up Madison Square Gardens
in preparation for the 1992 Democratic convention, they clean up
the route the President is going to take to his hotel. In order
to figure out the President's top-secret route, all you really
have to do is to follow the fleet of sanitation trucks which
clean up the streets before the President arrives.

Phone	Charlie from Sarasota, FL

Charlie is incensed beyond words at how the U.S. is going to buy
back weapons from Haitians. The U.S. is occupying the place, so
it should be demanding those weapons back or else, not buying
them back. Rush says this is part of how the administration is
using the U.S. military to implement its leftist social agenda
around the world. To the liberals, you solve the problem of too
many guns by buying them back.

Rush stresses, though, that his comments and calls such as
Charlie are not criticizing those in the U.S. military but rather
those giving that military its orders and who come up with these
policies. Rush agrees with Tom Clancy that the U.S. armed forces
are "pathologically loyal," and he meant this as a high
compliment; those in the military do whatever they're ordered to
do, no matter how stupid the policy is.

Speaking of the military, Rush adds that he's always said the
purpose of armies is to kill people and break things, and this is
what happened in Haiti Saturday night - a bunch of Haitians made
threatening moves, and when one guy started firing an Uzi into
the air, the Marines did as they're trained to do: fire back,
resulting in 10 dead Haitians. The Haitian police and army fled,
and the next day the people looted the police station, taking all
the guns, explosives, etc.

The Marines acted like soldiers, not like cops, and this is what
they're supposed to do. But the question is whether this is what
the U.S. wants its forces to be doing in Haiti, and if not then
what are they there for? Today's Washington Post quoted an
anonymous sergeant who undoubtedly spoke for many U.S. soldiers
when he said "a week ago, we were told the Haitian army are
butchers. But now when we kill a couple of them after they shoot
at us, we're accused of using excessive force."

Rush says "amen" to this, and notes that the military is in a
no-win situation here - if they military takes action against
Haitian thugs, the public gets upset. This, though, is what
happens when you try to use the military as policemen, especially
when official U.S. policy is "play it by ear." These Marines
reacted according to their training and best judgment, yet there
are those who criticize them for doing so.

*BREAK*

Phone	Bob from Manhattan, NY

Bob thinks Rush's show is entertaining, but he has a small bone
about how Rush sits in his office and pontificates about
everything; he thinks it's easy for Rush to sit in his insulated
studio, especially when there are so few people who call in to
criticize and disagree with him. Bob talked with Rush two months
earlier, and it's taken him two months to get through again, and
in the meantime Rush's show has been full of callers who agree
with him.

Rush notes that Bob has now gotten through twice, and since he
disagrees with the host, EIB has just put him to the head of the
line. There are many people who have been trying to get through
for five years, so it's a bit absurd to complain that EIB is
somehow making it harder for those who disagree to call in.

Bob says when he called the first time, it was about the cost of
pizzas and whether the higher price of pizzas in Europe was
really due to increased health care costs. Rush, though, never
followed through in finding out that information. Rush says he
did present this information on a later show, which if anything
means that Bob should listen a bit more often. Bob admits he can
listen only about 80% of the time because he is working.

Rush asks what the main purpose of Bob's call is, and Bob says
that Rush is insulated from opposition. He thinks Rush is
obviously in touch with his dittohead listeners, but he seems
insulated from those who oppose him. Rush can't believe this
statement, given that he is surrounded by his critics, in the
press and everywhere else. The only problem with this opposition
is that most of it comes from people who haven't listened to him
and don't know what he actually says and does.

Bob says he's concerned not about opposition to Rush personally,
but about the issues. He thinks Rush's show is full of
conservatives who do nothing but whine; he's never heard as much
whining in his life. Rush notes that his show does criticize
those things on the liberal side of the aisle, but it also does
more to exalt and promote the individual than anything the
liberals do. His show is fun, positive, and exalting, in contrast
to the doom and gloom of the left.

Bob says conservatives are doing their own gloom and dooming, by
attacking Clinton and liberals, by claiming they are destroying
the country, and by battering anything and anyone who disagrees
with them. Rush points out that he can agree with those on the
left when they're doing the right things - this is why he
supported Clinton on NAFTA, and Vice President Algore even called
him a "distinguished American" for it.

Rush continually hears the criticism that he is opposed to
Clinton and anything that Clinton tries to do. For example, when
Rush opposed the Clinton health care plan, he was accused of
doing so only because he was afraid of a "powerful women" -
Hillary Clinton. The truth is, though, that Rush has nothing
against strong and powerful women; he married such a woman. And
if he'd love to vote for such a woman in a second if he agreed
with her ideals.

As to health care, though, Rush opposed it because of what was in
it. He didn't oppose it because Clinton wrote it; he simply read
the health care bill - he didn't care who wrote it, just what was
in it. If Barry Goldwater had written this bill, Rush still would
have opposed it.

Bob says that Clinton's Haiti policy is really no different than
what other Presidents have done, such as Grenada. Rush says there
is no comparison between Grenada or Panama; perhaps someone could
make this case by comparing Haiti to Lebanon, where nearly 300
Americans died because of poor logistical support and planning,
but Grenada and especially Panama were quite different.

American soldiers were being shot in Panama, plus there was a
vital national interest at stake: the Panama Canal. There were
legitimate U.S. interests to invade Panama, not to mention
Noriega's drug-running.

The current Haitian policy is far different. For example, U.S.
News and World Report notes that when U.S. military planners put
together the plan for Haiti, they had to take into account "Bill
Clinton's indecisiveness." The military planners actually had to
factor in "Clinton's waffle," so that the mission could be
recalled at a moment's notice, even if the planes were at Haiti's
doorstep. This is not Rush saying this, but a major member of the
news media.

Rush thanks Bob for calling and hopes he can get through again
for a third time.

*BREAK*

Phone	Frank from Peoria, IL

Frank is tired of Rush wasting air time on liberals who are
trying to justify their own stupidity; the previous caller was a
great example. "What a jerk!" Frank adds. Rush says Bob wasn't a
jerk but just someone who disagrees; Rush doesn't know what he
disagreed about, but even so it wasn't wasted air time.

In fact, Rush wishes more liberals would call because they have
so many misconceptions - that Rush is mean, that he hangs up,
etc. Yet none of this is true, so when liberals have the courage
to call and can get through, Rush is happy to give them the air
time, and maybe he'll get a chance to convert them, too.

*BREAK*

SECOND HOUR

Items

o	Rush notes that ever since Rep. Mike Synar (D-OK) was
defeated in last week's primary by a 70-year-old school teacher
who spent all of $17,000, the Washington Beltway columnists have
been giving him tribute after tribute. David Broder wrote one in
Sunday's Washington Post, and someone on TV, possibly Mark "Maxi"
Shields or Margaret Carlson, said "well, Mike Synar now knows
that just because you're loved by the press doesn't mean you're
going to win in your own district."

This is an unbelievably arrogant comment, but it illustrates
exactly what Synar's problem was: Synar was against everything
his constituents stood for and wanted, but the press loved him
totally. The press loved Synar because he was a classic liberal,
and the press's outpouring of love for him reminded Rush how when
Tony Coelho resigned in the face of a major S&L scandal, the
press sobbed about what a tragedy for America this all was.

The Beltway politicians even asked "can Washington survive
without Tony Coelho," and their praise for him, as their praise
for Synar, shows how little the mainstream press understands the
American people. Even when the people express their will clearly
and decisively, as they did in rejecting Synar, the press starts
wondering if the people are idiots or whether they know what
they're doing.

o	Lee Siegelman is a political science professor at George
Washington University and he did the 22-year survey about
Democrats and Republicans which Rush mentioned earlier and which
was reported in Sunday's Washington Post. Siegelman basically
found that Democrats are uglier and stupider than Republicans, as
well as less affluent, more unhappy, and more prone to anti-
social and self-destructive behavior.

Siegelman's study was done from 1972 to 1993, and Rush thinks it
explains a lot about why Democrats vote certain ways and want
certain policies. First, the average income of Democrats during
the study period was 25% lower than Republicans, and Siegelman
notes that most Democrats can only dream of what most Republicans
can buy, such as vacations at Disneyland and Naugahyde recliners.
This certainly explains why Democrats are so susceptible to class
envy and the lure of higher taxes.

Siegelman also found that Democrats have more nasty habits; for
example, 37% of Democrats smoke, compared to only 30% of
Republicans; also, 23% of Democrats have seen an X-rated movie in
the past year, compared to only 17% of Republicans. Democrats are
more likely to have been shot at, robbed, or burglarized, but
curiously, though, it's Democrats who tend to be soft on crime.

Democrats also die younger than Republicans; the Democrats were
less likely to rate the state of their health as excellent or
good, but were more likely to know someone who committed suicide.
Also, the average Republican is a full year older than the
average Democrat.

Democrats are also more solitaire, being significantly less
likely than Republicans to be married, and if they ever have
married, they are significantly more likely to have been
separated or divorced. Furthermore, fewer Democrats than
Republicans described themselves as very happy, and Democrats
were more cynical and suspicious.

The average family income of Democrats was $21,900, while that
for Republicans was $27,300. About 58% of Democrats and 63% of
Republicans were married, while 31% of Democrats and 24% of
Republicans were divorced or separated. About 69% of Democrats
rated their overall health as good, compared to 79% of
Republicans.

And 40% of Democrats and 30% of Republicans would agree that most
people would take advantage of you if they got the chance, while
61% of Democrats and 50% of Republicans think you can't be too
careful when dealing with people.

Rush thinks this survey answers a lot of questions about
Democrats and Republicans.

*BREAK*

Phone	Bruce from Kansas City, KS

Bruce says he and Rush agree on a lot of topics, but thinks Rush
should be warning the American people about their loss of
sovereignty and how unconstitutional the Crime Bill is. He thinks
Rush should be talking about U.N. and Soviet troops on American
soil, about Randy Weaver, FEMA's black budget, and all these
other things.

Bruce says that Rush is blaming the liberals for all problems,
but if the talking heads on the TV yesterday are liberals and
Rush is a conservative, then Bruce is on the opposite end of the
spectrum from both. Rush has no doubts about that and is glad for
it.

He notes that Bruce seems to be reading a list of complaints,
plus he's not talking about the subject he was screened for. Rush
knows that there are hosts talking about these things, although
probably on 250 watt radio stations, so Bruce should perhaps be
listening to them if he's so dissatisfied by the EIB Network.

Phone	Christine from Presidio, CA

Speaking of Russian troops on American soil, Rush notes that the
Presidio is the home of Mikhail Gorbachev's think thank.
Christine is surprised to learn of this, and Rush chides her for
not listening enough because he's mentioned this several times.

Christine says what she is actually outraged about is what she
heard on the local TV: that the Marines who were involved in the
Haiti firefight are going to be investigated. Rush says he was
going to make a joke about this, about the Marines being
investigated for a "My Lai" type massacre, so he's astounded that
someone would be considering this for real.

Christine says a local TV anchorwoman mentioned this as an
afterthought - that the Department of Defense would be
investigating these Marines, with the clear implication being
that the Marines had done something wrong. Christine adds that
she's a dependent of someone in the military, and Rush says he
knew she had to have some military contact, given that she had
been calling him "sir" throughout the call.

Rush says this is an incredible thing - if the Marines can't fire
on the Haitian butchers and thugs, then what are they supposed to
be doing down there? The Marines aren't trained to be cops, and
Christine agrees - the Marines are armed and ready to kill, so
what are they supposed to do - should they not fire back on
someone unless the opposition is as armed and as dangerous as
they are?

Rush notes that Raoul Cedras has accused the American Marines of
committing "atrocities," and he's demanded court martials and
transfers of the Marines involved. Cedras, by the way, has been
invited by Jimmy Carter to teach Bible class, and he's now
calling for the Marines to be court-martialed for their actions.

Rush suspects that those Americans who are calling for an
investigation of the Marines think that just putting the military
on an island will make everyone behave properly. Sam Nunn noted
yesterday that this firefight was just the first of many,
especially since a lot of weapons were stolen from that police
station afterwards. A lot of Haitians have headed for the hills,
and some of them are now armed; they're not going to go away just
because Aristide is back as their president.

Rush adds that the Forbes Commission investigated the 1915 to
1934 occupation of Haiti, and its report is very revealing about
what went wrong in those 19 years. Rush will read its conclusion
after the break.

*BREAK*

Going back to the Forbes commission report on why the U.S.
occupation of Haiti from 1915 to 1934 failed, Rush notes that the
basic answer is that the U.S. failed to see Haiti as it really
is. The report states that the failure of the occupation was
based on the failure to understand the social problems of Haiti,
the "brusque attempt to plant democracy," and the "determination
to set up a middle class." This sounds eerily similar to what the
U.S. is trying to do now - "restore" a democracy that never
existed in the first place, without understanding Haitian
society.

Rush again notes that democratic institutions are based on
justice, morality, and law; without these, there can be no true
democracy, and these institutions have not existed in Haiti. It
took the United States decades to put itself together, not
counting the Civil War, the later civil rights movements, etc.
The U.S. is still trying to iron things out, so it should be
obvious that establishing a democracy is not a trivial matter.

Phone	George from Sarasota, FL

George thinks Bill Clinton has forgotten that the island of
Hispanola is one island with two countries - the island is shared
by the Dominican Republic and Haiti. The Dominican Republic is
also poor, but America is pouring money and resources into Haiti,
and the inevitable result will be that Haiti will destabilize the
Dominican Republic.

George notes that if New York City were split in half, with one
half getting all the goodies, the other half would be jealous and
start demanding its fair share. Rush sees George's point - if the
U.S. plants "money trees" in Haiti, the Dominican Republic would
get destabilized by the pressure of those demanding equal
treatment and favoritism.

Rush remarks he visited the Dominican Republic once on a cruise,
stopping at Puerto Plata; George remarks that he's been there -
he remembers it well, thanks to the dysentery he got while
visiting. Rush recalls that the first thing that happened when
his ship docked was that the natives were just waiting for the
tourists, offering tours and nearly anything else one might one.

Rush took one of the tours, riding on a rickety bus, and the
highlight of the day was driving by the most important place in
town - the home of the president of the local rum factory. He
then went up a tram to the top of a mountain to see some
religious symbol, a trip that obviously has left a lasting
impression on his mind.

Rush learned, though, that the Dominican Republic produces some
fine agricultural products, especially cigars. There are many
responsible people there, along with some American-owned
factories, and he was struck by how much better the Dominican
Republic was than Haiti, though they shared the same island.

George agrees, but says that the working populace of the
Dominican Republic has to eventually get irate and angry if they
see their Haitian neighbors get all sorts of goodies from the
U.S. Rush says that George's comparison with New York is
accurate, but the thing to remember is that in New York the
ghettos, barrios, and urban nightmares are exactly where the
government has been giving money away; the good places in New
York are where people have jobs and work.

Thus, giving stuff to Haiti won't result in any improvements,
just as it hasn't worked in New York. Right now, New York City
has over 1 million residents on welfare, with one out of seven
New Yorkers getting government assistance.

Yet Bill Clinton and Mario Cuomo went to a Harlem church
yesterday, where Clinton gave what was basically a campaign
speech for Cuomo. This, of course, is an interesting mix of
church and state, but the same liberals who whine about the
"religious right" have nothing to say about this.

Clinton also got a standing ovation at the church when he left,
by people who were in the plight they are in precisely because
they've believed that the liberal Democrats would give them more
and more. Yet it has been the liberal Democrats and their Great
Society programs which have doomed these people to a life of
dependency.

Clinton was telling these people that they needed Mario Cuomo,
when in reality Cuomo's biggest enemy is himself and his own
record; Cuomo's been in office 16 years, so why trust him to make
his state any better? Rush thanks George for calling.

*BREAK*

Rush notes that over Cuomo's 16 years as New York's governor, the
state, by any record and measurement, has only gotten worse, so
for Cuomo to do anything to make it better, he'll have to first
undo what he himself has done. And the fact that Clinton can come
to New York and help a candidate only goes to show how liberal
this place truly is.

Rush wishes he could get a copy of the Gennifer Flowers tape on
which Flowers accused Cuomo of sounding like a Mafia guy and
Clinton agreed. Clinton later apologized to Cuomo for saying
this, which basically meant he was admitting that it was him on
the tape, which up to that point he had denied. Rush would love
to juxtapose that tape with Clinton's praise yesterday of Cuomo,
but he doubts that EIB will cough up the money to buy the tapes
from Flowers.

Phone	Don from Burke, VA

Don thinks that the current disillusionment among the voters
towards Democrats has little to do with talk radio, and more with
the current generations' lack of memory about history. Don notes
that conservatives such as Rush controlled the country from 1921
to 1932.

Rush notes that modern conservatism was created by Bill Buckley
and Barry Goldwater in the 50s and 60s. Don, though, says that
their conservative policies were the same ones in 1921 through
1932: balanced budgets, low taxes, reduced spending, and a pro-
business oriented government. This created the Great Depression,
with 25% unemployment, the banking system in shambles, and the
country on the verge of collapse.

Rush says Don should go to the 1980s to get an accurate
representation of Rush's brand of conservatism, and the 80s were
not a Great Depression. Don, though, says that the 80s saw
reduced taxes only on the wealthy, "when you take into account
the total tax picture." Rush says this is not true - in fact, the
burden of taxes paid by the wealthy increased, in spite - or
actually because - of the low rates.

Don, though, says the proportion of income that the rich paid
taxes on decreased, but Rush points out that the wealthiest 5% of
Americans paid 40% of taxes at the end of the 80s, which was a
greater percentage than before. He notes that even liberals agree
with this, although they'll insist that the wealth didn't
"trickle down."

Don says there was no trickle down, as more people than ever
before lost their homes. Rush says more people bought homes than
ever, thanks to how the 80s were the longest period of sustained
economic recovery since WWII, in contrast to the current period,
which is the weakest economic recovery of the past 50 years.

Don says that Reagan came into office with a Republican majority
in Congress, but he lost that majority in 1986, after his tax
increase package was implemented. Rush notes that this was the
Tax Reform Act of 1986, and the Republicans' loss of the Senate
had more to do with Iran-Contra and foreign policy than anything
else. Plus, the party in power always loses in out-year
elections.

Don says this wasn't the case in 1934 when the Republicans were
viewed as obstructionists, and FDR actually got more Democrats in
Congress. He suspects that people this year will go into the
voting booth and vote their conscience, resulting in a minimal
loss on the Democrats' part. "But that's just a guess," Don adds.

Rush bets this is more of a prejudicial hope than anything else,
but if Don wants to examine Republicans, he should ask why Bush
won in 1988. Rush won't predict a Republican majority in either
the House or Senate this November, but he does think Republicans
will get more seats in Congress than people like Don hopes.

Don says if this is true, then it means there will be two years
of divided government, gridlock, and stalemate. Rush says he's
all for this if it means stopping liberals and their policies. He
warns listeners to remember that the Democrats have owned both
houses of Congress and the White House for 18 months, but they
haven't gotten beans passed because it's the Democrats who can't
agree on anything.

The Republicans can't don't anything to stop the Democrats if the
Democrats could agree and be united on the issues, but that's not
the case; it's the Democrats who are the obstructionists and
creating this gridlock, and Rush thanks God for it.

*BREAK*

Rush says that if Don is correct, and the mood of the country is
not pro-conservative, then it could certainly be said that the
mood is at the very least anti-Washington and anti-incumbent.
It's liberals and Democrats who constitute most of those in the
Washington Beltway, so doesn't this mean this mood is anti-
liberal as well as anti-Beltway?

*BREAK*

THIRD HOUR

North Korea has warned that U.S. naval maneuvers off the Korean
peninsula threatened talks about inspection of North Korea's
nuclear facilities. Rush chides the North Koreans for bothering
the U.S. about nuclear stuff when America has its hands full with
Haiti right now.

Update	Feminist	(The Forester Sisters, "Men" with "in
your face" slogan)

Rush repeats today's Morning Update about the fat, hairy, and
headache-prone women of Pompei. Australian anthropologist Estelle
Lazar has discovered some interesting facts about Pompei, which
was buried in 79 A.D. by a volcanic eruption. Legend has it that
the women of Pompei were gorgeous, and that image was only
intensified by the movie, which Rush saw at the tender age of 7
or 8, and which hastened puberty for him.

Lazar, though, has found that many women of Pompei suffered from
a hormonal disorder that made them fat, hairy, and prone to
headaches. And while Lazar hasn't gone public with her most
amazing findings, Rush has it on good authority that writing
which was found in Pompei actually translates to "we're fierce,
we're feminists, and we're in your face." Furthermore, ancient
fossil studies have discovered that these hairy, fat women didn't
consume orange juice.

But there's even more amazing things to learn about Pompei, so
Rush segues into a Homeless Update.

Update	Homeless	(Clarence "Frogman" Henry, "Ain't Got No
Home")

In addition to learning that modern feminists had their earliest
roots among the fat, hairy, headache-prone women to Pompei, Lazar
has also learned that squatters had taken over significant parts
of Pompei. In other words, the homeless had occupied a great
numbers of Pompei buildings, which means there were homeless
people nearly 2000 years ago, even before Ronald Reagan.

Liberals claim that homelessness really didn't exist until Reagan
and the 80s, but now it's known that homelessness was a problem
back in the 70s - 70s A.D., that is. Furthermore, given that
Pompei was left in ruin, it's obvious that liberals were in
charge of the city.

Update	Health Care	(Bill Clinton, "Read It In the Headlines")

A topless model in Newcastle, England received free breast
implants from Britain's National Health Service. This, not
surprisingly, has provoked a furious reaction from both
politicians and long-suffering patients, especially since this
women got "immediate" treatment, which in Britain means waiting
only 8 weeks. The woman did not have to wait the usual amount
because "her pre-existing conditions were too small to exclude
her from coverage."

Fiona McAndrew, 27, wanted her bust enlarged so she could get
more work as a model, and her surgery cost the equivalent of
$4,000. Labor party member Doug Henderson, though, denounced this
use of taxpayer money, especially since there are thousands of
Britons waiting for essential treatments, such as hip
replacement. George Slater, 86 and war veteran, who has been on a
waiting list for 18 months to get a cataract removed, called
McAndrew's case "criminal and obscene."

Rush notes that this is the kind of thing that happens in
socialized medicine around the world.

*BREAK*

The EIB staff start off the segment by playing Dave "Baby"
Cortese's hit tune "Rinky Dink," which makes Rush wonder if
they're trying to make some sort of viewed statement on him or
the show. The staff, however, insist they have no ulterior
motives, but just wanted to play it because it's been a while
since they last used it. Rush notes that this tune has special
meaning for him because it was his first favorite radio tune; he
was 11 at the time.

Phone	Selma from Chattanooga, TN

Selma notes that she's the lady who got up at 4 in the morning so
she could come to Rush's TV show last week; her son gave her an
anniversary present - tickets to Rush's show, but he bought the
cheapest airline tickets possible, to New York via Atlanta, on a
flight that featured crackers as the in-flight meal. Selma,
though, points out that her son is not cheap, plus they had a
great flight back.

Selma adds that she was very impressed by the professionalism of
Rush's staff, and she and her husband have already made "hundreds
of copies" of the show to send to everyone they know. They had a
fantastic time and thinks all of Rush's TV people were great.

She adds that her state's governor, Zell Miller, is running for
re-election, in spite of his promises that he'd be a one-term
governor. She thus hopes President Clinton comes down and
campaigns for him, so that Tennessee can at long last get a
Republican governor. Rush thanks Selma for calling and for having
a great time on his show.

Phone	Yvonne from Rio New York, NY

Yvonne is a Cuban-American who's confused by Rush's position on
the Cuban embargo; first he seemed to be in favor of the embargo,
but now it's been announced that he'll showing up at the Cuban
Medical Relief Fund dinner committee with a Cuban official, which
means Rush is "mingling with the enemy." Rush notes he hasn't
changed his thinking on the Cuban embargo, which is that he
doubts if it is really helping the cause of democracy there.

Jack Kemp, among others by the way, wrote a letter to the NY
Times claiming that the embargo should be kept in place because
it was the only way to hurt Castro. Rush, though, has never been
in favor of sanctions or embargoes, especially since they seem to
be used way too often and hurt only the people, not those in
power.

As to the Cuban Medical Relief Fund dinner Rush is planning to
attend, Rush says Marvin Shanken is putting on this "Dinner of
the Century" in Paris next month, and it will include an auction
of some special Cuban cigars. The money raised will go to the
Cuban Medical Relief Fund, but Rush won't be participating in the
auction.

Yvonne, though, says that Rush's name is on the dinner committee,
along with the names of members of the Cuban government, so she
wonders why Rush is helping Cuba. Rush says that he's not aligned
with the Cuban government in any way, but Yvonne thinks that just
being on the same committee with these guys does make him
aligned.

Yvonne says Rush is sending money to Cuba with this dinner, but
Rush says he won't be doing this; he's expressly not
participating in the auction for this reason - it's illegal for
Americans to send money to Cuba now. This dinner is not
political, and Rush, along with many others going over there, is
going just to have a good time and a little fun.

*BREAK*

Speaking of fabulous dinners, Rush remarks that he has to make up
his mind by the end of the day as to whether he will be able to
emcee a gala dinner in Los Angeles for Charlton Heston next
month. He adds that if people are upset with him about his
expected attendance at the Cuban Medical Fund dinner in Paris,
then they're going to be outraged beyond words when they learn he
did a television commercial for the NY Times Saturday.

The EIB staff hopes this commercial will air in Japan, but Rush
says no - it'll air in New York and perhaps Washington or Boston.
The Bozell advertising agency put this commercial together, and
Rush won't say much about it except to say that the money he
earned from it will go to his favorite charities, the Marine
Corps Scholarship Fund and the Cuban Medical Relief Fund.

The EIB staff scream in horror, and Rush admits he's kidding;
he's sending the money just to the Marine Corps Scholarship Fund.
He has to laugh at how jokes like this send his staff into
paroxysms of paranoia.

Rush notes that he did the commercial at Times Square, and he'll
be just one of many celebrities doing these - it's hoped that
Jesse Jackson, Henry Kissinger, and Arnold Schwarzenegger will
also their own commercials. He points out that his commercial
basically is a slam at the Times, with him complaining that their
reviews and editorial pieces are a "bit too opinionated" for him,
but he had fun doing it.

And if someone claims that Rush is "cavorting with the enemy" by
doing this, then he has just one piece of advice: just put that
in your pipe and smoke it!

Phone	Brian from East Haven, CT

Brian says he wants to talk about inflation, and how the
administration is claiming there is little or no inflation.
Brian's business, though, uses base materials such as paper,
cardboard, and resin, and their prices have gone up 10 to 15% in
just the last quarter, and they expect more increases in January.
These price increases will add to the price of finished goods
such as cars and appliances, so inflation is already here,
although it hasn't shown up at the consumer level yet.

Rush notes that the Federal Reserve is doing everything it can to
stop inflation, and it's expected that the Fed will increase the
interest rates again this week. Brian, though, thinks the country
is well on its way towards double-digit inflation, and Rush
admits that the price of gold topped $400 an ounce last week, so
Brian might have a point.

And if there is inflation waiting for the country out there, Rush
notes that any deficit reduction is a forgotten dream since the
refinancing of the debt will send interest costs soaring. He asks
if Brian's business has been affected, and Brian says he's having
a hard time passing on the costs to his customers. Car companies,
for example, are even demanding a 5% reduction in prices, and
that's nearly impossible.

Rush notes that this is the first such direct complaint he's
heard about rising prices, and he asks Brian to keep him informed
about this.

Phone	Brian from Burbank, CA

Brian gives "unemployed from NBC dittos and take 34% of my
vacation pay for taxes dittos." Brian was canned from his job
after he talked to Rush a couple of weeks ago; Rush remembers
that call - Brian had a friend named Robin, and he put her on the
phone. Supposedly, Robin hated Rush with a passion, but on the
phone she put on an act, pretending that she was Rush's biggest
fan.

Rush asks why Brian got canned - was it because he called EIB and
put Robin on the air? Brian says no - he was just replaced by a
female who was less qualified. He notes, though, that while Robin
had a few four-letter words to say to him after her conversation
with Rush, she actually tried her best to get Brian rehired.
However, it was a hopeless task to begin with.

Rush asks if Robin was embarrassed by her call, and Brian says
she was, "but she could appreciate the genius of the call." The
real reason Brian called, though, was to provide the following
"Presidential list" of countries the U.S. could invade for
democracy's sake:

o	Vietnam - its elected president is in exile at a 7-11 in
Orange County, it's a chance to weaken Rep. Bob Dornan behind the
"Orange Curtain," not to mention bring back "China Beach" to TV.
The bonus: draft dodger thing gets exorcised.

o	Cuba - fix the JFK Bay of Pigs thing; declare Camelot 2,
starting importing Cuban cigars legally. The bonus: take
Whitewater earnings - the real ones - and invest in Cuban Major
League Baseball team. (P.S. Cancel trip to Dallas.)

o	Iraq - The bonus: get a few Republican votes for the
health care bill.

o	Iran - fix the Carter thing and get him for upstaging me
in North Korea and Haiti.

o	Bosnia - see if the army can really fight a two-front 
war . . . or is it three?

o	Albania - Albana-who? Isn't that near Little Rock?

o	Ecuador, Peru, and Columbia - declare Tom Clancy a
prophet and push for the legalization of drugs; get Joycelyn
Elders to be Secretary of Drug Commerce. The bonus: inhaling in
the Oval Office.

o	China - remember Tiennamen Square? Forrest Gore says
"human rights is as human rights does"; annex China as the 51st
state and declare American trade deficit eradicated; American
jobs and GNP rise, great for re-election polls. The bonus: like
their abortion program.

o	Mexico - claim Colosio a Mexican Kennedy and annex Mexico
as 52nd state. The bonus: declare immigration crisis over and
Perot's big, giant sucking sound gets plugged.

o	North Korea - so what if they have the bomb? We have more
of them. Besides, I like the "M*A*S*H" TV series.

o	Russia - it's taking too long, bring in the first team
and let us run the show. Besides, we have 40 years of Cold War
training going to waste.

Brian adds a short coda to this list: inside every human being on
this planet is an American struggling to get out. Rush, still
laughing at the list, thinks this is very true, and he asks if
Brian is a comedy writer. Brian admits he and his writing partner
are trying to put together a comedy right now, and they'll soon
be shopping it around. He hopes Rush feels free to use his list
on the TV show.

Brian adds that he was at the Los Angeles AIDS Walk yesterday,
and he seemed to be the only conservative there. HHS Secretary
Donna Shalala was there, ragging on Ronald Reagan for doing
nothing about AIDS, while Senator Barbara Boxer was introduced as
the only person with enough guts to go against Jesse Helms.

Kathleen Brown, running for governor against Pete Wilson, also
showed up, but only long enough for the photo-op. She split
immediately afterwards. Rush bets Brian saw a lot of red ribbons,
and Brian agrees; he only wishes he had remembered to bring along
his deficit reduction ribbon.

Brian hopes Rush does come out to Los Angeles to host the Heston
gala dinner, especially as he could eat at Ruth's Crist and
perhaps see a football game. Rush admits he's already checked the
NFL schedule and there's nothing happening in LA that weekend;
Brian admits there's never anything happening in Los Angeles
where football is concerned.

Rush admits he'd love to go because he likes Los Angeles but
never gets out there often enough. He thanks Brian for calling.

*BREAK*

Phone	Wally from Chicago, IL

Wally remarks that he called a couple of years ago and won a Rush
Limbaugh mug in the "Kennedys in Jeopardy Game." He thinks it's
Rush's fault that the Clinton administration doesn't have a
foreign policy - undoubtedly the Clintonistas are listening to
each and every show, so whenever they hear Rush predict what
they're going to do, they have to waffle so as to prove Rush
wrong.

Rush is impressed that Wally thinks his predictions on the
Clinton administration are so accurate that the administration
immediately changes its policy when Rush spills the beans. After
a moment's thought Rush admits "there's no question about it!"

*BREAK*

Phone	Dante from Ormond Beach, FL

Dante wishes a happy birthday to Rush's grandfather, and Rush
notes tomorrow will be his grandfather's 103rd birthday, which is
an amazing thing. Dante remarks that it's also amazing there are
1.2 million people on welfare in New York, given that this figure
was only 50,000 fifty years ago. He wonders what Mayor Rudolph
Giuliani will do to stop this trend.

Rush says that Giuliani has managed to turn around people's
confidence in the city; he campaigned on a number of specific
items: to make the streets safe, to put more cops on the streets,
to stop the beggars and homeless from harassing passers-by, etc.
Giuliani has done these things, and he's made it clear he will
put the best interests of New York City ahead of any other
considerations, including partisan party considerations.

Giuliani, though, will shortly face a crisis in that the city
council is planning to pass an ordinance banning smoking in all
the city's restaurants. In addition to the other adverse effects
this will have on the city's restaurant business, one of the
major tobacco companies, Philip-Morris, has its headquarters in
New York, and they've threatened to leave the city should this
ordinance get passed. This matter will end up falling on
Giuliani's shoulders, and only time will tell how he'll handle
it.

