Your bicycle has a gun rack.
You've ever used lard in bed
You think Potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeuvre.
You own more than three shirts with the sleeves cut off.
You've ever spraypainted your lady's name on an overpass.
You've ever been blacklisted from a bowling alley.
Your High school Annual is now a mug shot book.
You've ever done your Xmas shoping at a truck stop.
You think heaven looks alot like Daytona Beach.
You have a stuffed 'possum mounted in your home.
Your lifetime goal is to own your own fireworks stand.
If you voted for Bill Clinton in 1992.
You prefer to walk the excess length off your jeans.
You go to stock car race and don't need a program.
Your Jounior prom had a day-care center.
Less than half the cars you own run.
You grow a beard becouse it looks good on your sister.
The main color of your car is BOND-O.
Your mounted deer head sports a ball cap and sunglasses.
You have Coors on tap in your bathroom.
Your Pocketknife doubles as a tooth pick.
*** UNREGISTERED PPE SOFTWARE ***
You own a denim leisure suit.
Directions to your house include "turn off the paved road"
The UFO hotline limits you to 1 call a day.
You know how many bales of hay your car can hold.
You've ever used a weedeater indoors.
You think women are turned on by Animal sounds.
You think women are turned on by Tongue gestures.
Your dog and wallet are both on a chain.
You've ever been kicked out of the KKK for being a "bibot"
You made a hot tub with a trolling motor.
You have ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.
You don't think baseball players spit and scratch too much.
You owe a taxerdermist more than your annual income.
You use a bedsheet as a sofa cover.
Hail hits your house so you take it in for an estimate
Jack Daniels makes your list of most admired people.
You have a tattoo that says"Mother" and its spelled wrong.
Your family tree does not branch out.
Everyone can tell what kind of underware you are wearing.
Your wife's hair has ever gotten stuck in the ceiling fan.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
You had a toothpick in your mouthduring your wedding pictures.
You think god looks alot like Hank Williams, Jr.
A man lights your cigarette and you show him your bra.
The dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
The crack in your windsheild is as long as your arm.
You have to dress the kids up to go to KMART.
You have a hefty bag for a passanger-Side window.
You've ever yelled "ROCK THE HOUSE BUBBA" during a piano recital.
Thanksgiving was ruined becouse you ran out of ketchup.
Your mother gets in fist fights at high school sports events.
You've ever barbequed spam on a grill
Your watch band is wider then any book you have ever read.
You have to Push start your car.
You have to crank your car at every light.
You have ever hit onb anyone in a V.D. Clinic.
You view duct tape as a long-term investment.
Your Brother inlaw is also your uncle
Your Aunt is also your sister.
Your mother is also your cusine.
You grow corn in your front yard.
You bought a VCR to record Wrestling while you are at work.
Red Man chewing tobacco sends you a cristmas card.
You have every hit a jukebox with a cue stick.
You've ever stolen a bull dozer.
You fully execute the "Pull my fingure" trick.
All of your four-letter words are two syllables.
You cut your toenails in front of company.
You've ever been to drunk to fish.
you got to family reunions to meet women.
Hitchhikers won't get in the car with you.
Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.
If you ever had to role twice to get off your wife.
you ever hear sheep bleat and you have romantic thoughts.
Your house dosen't have curtains but your truck does.
What ever side of the tracks you live on its still the wrong side.
Your porch collapses and kills more then 3 dogs.
You can spit with out opening your mouth.
You consider OUTDOOR LIFE deep reading.
You call your boss dude.
You think a Volvo is part of a womens anatomy.
Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
You grease under your toenails.
You think your License plate is customized becouse you made it.
You've ever driven a Camaro into the top of a tree.
You think Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
You believe Ted Nugent Rules.
You use a computer to meet Girls. :)
You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
You think Beef Jurky is the only major food group.
You are allowed to bring the dog towork.
You use shareware but don't register it.
You've ever cleaned fish in your living room.
You think Campho-Phenique is a miricale drug.
You have more then two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
Your mother genuinely admires your girlfriends tattoo.
You've ever had Sex in a satellite dish.
You wore a three-day growth of beard before Don Jonhson.
You get an estimate before you get your hear cut.
You wear knee-High stockings with a skirt.
After Making love you have to ask your self,"was good for you."
If your sisters child looks just like you.

