Before you do anything you should decide who you'd like to be. If you're going to do nothing more than run up a few video charges or buy some beer, it really shouldn't matter and you can just make up a bunch of info, but if you're going to assume a new name to live under or just want to pull off some really cool scams, you should put some work into it.
Try to find access to people's job applications or resumes. Most any job you work at will have people stopping in to drop off their job applications or maybe you work in an area where you can snag all the applications/resumes you want. Pick someone who's a little older and has built up some credit so that you can have fun ruining it.
Just make sure you get their full names, social security numbers and birth- dates. Applications usually don't have a birthdate written on them so you'll have to call up the person and get it out of them. The best way would be to say you're considering hiring them and you need it to start the paperwork.
Photocopied Drivers License:
Take one of the photocopies and lay it out on the table. This will be your
master copy. You can probably figure out the rest from here but I'll explain
it anyway. Using your extra photocopies, cut out the letters and paste them
over your master copy, forming a completely new identity. Use the toothpicks
to position the tiny pieces of paper into place so they're lined up
perfectly.
Make sure that you change everything on the license including the license
number, birthdate, address and any other numbers that you don't recognize.
When you're finished, take the master copy to a photocopy machine and make a
copy of it. If it's you can see little groves around each letter you cut out,
make the copy lighter. If that doesn't work, use the white-out to touch up
around the edges of the letters (on the copy you just made), then run THAT
through the machine.
You can also do the exact same thing with a social security card but you're
limited on the numbers and letters you can use. If you have a steady hand,
though, you can kind of fill in the blanks for the characters you don't have.
Copy the driver's license and social security card onto the same piece of
paper and you're finished.
This kind of ID, as stupid as it may sound, could prove to be the most useful
one you'll ever make. You can get a job under a different name, making it easy
to cheat on your taxes or get a job that you're not old enough to have. You
can also use this kind of ID to get library cards, video cards and sometimes
even check cashing cards, very useful for cashing your free AT&T checks. Just
tell them that you lost your originals when your wallet was stolen but you
still have this old photocopy. Usually they won't even question it. You can
NOT use this ID to buy alcohol or cigarettes and I've never managed to open a
bank account with just a photocopy.
If you own a computer, you can save a little time by printing out the new name
and info on the license, line by line, rather than doing all the cutting and
pasting. Just make sure to match up the font and size as close as possible.
You might also try running your license through a scanner or faxing it to your
computer so you can edit it on the screen, then print it out.
A Second Form of ID:
That's easy, find an envelope from an important sounding place that has a
canceled stamp on it. Now get a mailing label and write or print your false
name and address on it and slap the label over the real name on the envelope.
Flea Markets & Souvineer Shops:
These are good quality replicas of state IDs and drivers' licenses and all
they have to do to make them legal is make a few minor, barely noticable
changes on the face of the ID, such as discoloring the state logo or state
name. Something that ordinary people won't notice. They're also not allowed to
make IDs for the state they're operating in which means you'll have to settle
for the state next to yours, or maybe just make yourself from Roy, New Mexico.
The price range varies. Sometimes it'll be $10, sometimes $40 but for the
quality you're getting, almost anything is worth it. Also, call around to the
souvineer shops. I've seen gone into plenty of these and seen teenagers
getting IDs made up by the store clerks. Oh yeah, these IDs will have a tiny
disclaimer on the back of them saying, "not a government document, for
entertainment uses only, blah blah blah". Hardly noticable.
DMV Scams:
The birth certificate and social security card are required and usually you
need something else to back those two documents up. A couple DMVs that I've
dealt with (for legitimate purposes) let me use a utility bill as my third
ID. Some want something with a picture on it, such as a student ID card.
A friend of mine in South Carolina tried this and the lady said that the
person he was trying to get an ID for already had a driver's license in South
Carolina. He acted confused so she asked him to have a seat and she'd take
care of it. Then she started making phone calls so he made his way out the
door and never went there again. If you're going to do this, it's best to
pick somebody out of state, then get a state ID card, not a driver's license.
This would lessen your chances of getting busted.
Some people say this is getting riskier as the years pass. Others say it's
getting easier. I know that the DMV computers in Texas actually put your
picture into the computer and it comes up when your record is accessed and I
hardly think Texas is the most advanced state out there so be careful. It's
probably not worth the trouble you'll get into to even try this, especially
if you plan on doing something really bad with the ID.
Birth Certificates:
Contact the City Clerk in the city that your target was born in. Ask them
what information you need to supply to get a copy of your birth certificate.
Usually they'll want the date of birth, FULL name, mother's madien name and
the father's name. If you don't have the information they need, ask how you
would get a copy of someone else's birth certificate.
Some cities are starting to tighten up a little and expect you to send in a
state ID or driver's license to get someone else's copy. (They'll send it back
with the copy.) So you're best off getting the person's information that you
need. A few phone calls to the target should get you just about everything.
The price is usually under $10 and takes about 4-6 weeks to arrive.
Social Security Cards:
When you get there you'll have to fill out a form which asks for alot of
personal information about "you" such as your mom's name, madien name, and
the usual shit. Make sure you don't make anything up because they'll be
comparing what you write down to what's in their files. Of course, this is
only good if you're taking over someone's identity, not making up your own.
There will be a small fee and your new SS card will be mailed to you so have
an address ready, such as a local house who's mail is forwarded somewhere for
you to pick up.
IDs on Your Computer:
Your computer is perfect for making a College ID from another state. If you
can get your hands on a real college ID, you can copy the information from it
to make it look even better. If you make the ID appear to be from a college
somewhere other than where you're pulling off your shenanigan's, you'll be
better off since it's unlikely that someone will try to say your ID is fake.
Laminators:
If $50 is out of your leauge, you can buy lamination stickers which is
usually an 8 1/2" x 11" clear sticker. You can cut this to the appropriate
size and make your ID card appear to be perfectly laminated although it's not
as hard as real lamination. These sheets go for only a few dollars at
Wal-Mart & K-Mart.
Credit Cards:
Go through all your old junk mail and start filling out those credit
applications. Go to the mall and in every big department store you'll find
a credit application. JC Penny's, Sears, Famous Barr, Radio Shack, get them
all. Most jewelry stores have them too. You may want to even try for instant
credit.
Assuming that your new identity has good credit, you'll get a few credit cards
in the mail in a week or two or three. Credit cards will make your identity
look even better and if you score a Mastercard or Visa, you can go buy that
new expensive laminating machine now. Oh yeah, some video stores want your
credit card number just in case you check out a bunch of videos and decide
not to bring them back. All they do is write down the number so it doesn't
matter if your card is already maxed out or not.
PO Boxes:
Libraries:
Anyway, a library card can be very valuable. Most libraries now are all linked
up via computer within certain districts. This means you can get a library
card in one city and use it in most of the surrounding cities. One district
had a limit of 15 books per location that we could check out but there were
about 10 locations to choose from and in the end we had checked out 150 books
total. The back of our car was dragging because of the weight.
Look for the books with titles like Frauds and Scams and How to Protect Your-
self Against Ripoffs. Also look for the private detective books. These can be
very valuable in aiding you to create a new identity. Most of them list the
offices in each state to obtain public documents such as birth certificates
and other useful information. And of course, steal all of the phone company
books.
The End:
Anyway, it turned out that he was ordering a magazine subscription over the
phone - one of those hunter manly-type magazines or something. So they say
their goodbyes and hang up. I immediately call him back and use my deep,
manly hunter voice.
So they go on and on and on about how somebody must have tapped their office
phones and somebody is listening in and getting everyone's credit card numbers
and the guy is convinced that is must be one of those activists who are
against hunting as a sport. I would have called him while he was talking to
the lady but the idiot didn't have call waiting.
After he hangs up with her, he calls the phone company and explains his
problem to her. She asks if maybe he has a cordless phone and he says yes but
there's no way anybody could listen in because it's a special scrambled
security phone. Actually, it was just a ten channel cordless phone that
switches channels each time a new call is placed. All cordless phones try to
make you feel safe by throwing those important sounding words on the box.
Finally he talks to an operator who explains to him how to use *69 and *57.
After hanging up, he dials *69 and our phone begins to ring. (*67 doesn't
block *69 around here.) Normally this wouldn't bother us - we just didn't
answer the phone. But this guy sat there and let our phone ring for about
fifteen minutes. Finally he stopped so I used OCI to call him collect, thinking
that would make OCI the last number that called him and not ours.
But for some reason this didn't work and he dialed *69 again and let our phone
ring for another 15 minutes. My friend didn't want to answer it and mess with
him because it was his parents phone line. So, I took off in search of a pay
phone so I could call the guy and my friends' number would be out of his *69.
This was harder than it sounds because for almost the entire time I was out,
he was letting our phone ring so I couldn't get through.
So finally I went back and the phone was still ringing. This was getting
desperate - his parents were due home in an hour and wouldn't react kindly to
this sort of thing. Finally, the ringing stopped while he called a friend.
After he called the friend, I managed to make an AT&T collect call to him
which threw off his *69 this time. And we lived happily ever after. I still
can't figure out why OCI didn't work at first.
After awhile he stops using the phone and I get really bored. I remember that
the first time he called, he told the lady he was shipping it to his daughter's
house because he was going on a vacation in Hawaii. So I called him again:
For example, there are the little children whose parents let them play with
phones. It happens to everyone. Your phone rings and you say hello and you
hear a childish voice say: "Hawwo, who dish?"
You can just ang up and be done with it. But I prefer to drop my voice to
it's lowest pitch, then make a loud, menacing growling sound. As often as not,
I'll hear the phone rattle on the floor and the sound of a terrified child
running away and screaming for its mother.
I'm not being cruel. If anything I'm helping parents of that child lower
their phone bill. Then there was the man who dialed my home number one night,
and when my son answered the phone, mumbled, "Lemme talk to Delia." My son
politely said, "What number do you want?" The man mumbled an obscenity and
hung up.
A minute later, the phone rang again. I picked it up. It was the same guy.
He mumbled, "Lemme talk to Delia." Now, had he been polite the first time, I
would have told him that he was dialing the wrong number. Instead, I snarled,
"What do you want with Delia, bub?"
That woke him up and he yelled, "Who the hell are you?" Actually, his
language was much stronger. So I said, "Never mind that. Who are you?" He said
"Hey, I'm Delia's boyfriend."
I said, "Hold on." then I yelled, so he could hear me, "Hey Delia, there's
some klutz on the phone who says he's your boyfriend." I waited a moment, then
said, "Delia says she don't want to talk to any klutz."
He began shouting and swearing both and me and Delia. So I interrupted and
said, "Take my advice, pal. Delia is too good for a no-good, low-life bum like
you, so you better straighten out your act or you're going to be aced out."
Then I hung up. He never called back so I assume he accepted my couseling
and now he and Delia probably have a much more stable relationship.
Which brings me to my most recent wrong number. This morning my office phone
rang and when I answered, a woman began speaking in a crisp, businesslike
manner. She said she was with a Los Angeles firm tat does corporate research
and wanted to ask me some questions about corporate policies at this company.
"Are you the comptroller at your corporation?" she asked.
When she submits her report I'm sure it will create a stir at her firm. And
I wouldn't be surprised if we soon start reading stories in the financial
pages about corporate boards in California naming some executives to the post
of Big Heat. When that happens, remember where it started.
Gina Calvaruso, 39, of Akron, pleaded guilty in December to theft in office,
vandalism and three counts of forgery. Calvaruso, free on $5,000 bond, will be
sentenced April 29 in Summit County Common Pleas Court.
Springfield Township Police arrested Calvaruso, a dispatcher at the patrol's
Akron post, and charged her with harassment for vandalizing Common Pleas Judge
Michael Callahan's campaign signs and sending magazine subscriptions to his
home. Police also said Calvaruso filled out a change-of-address form that
rerouted Callahan's mail to the home of a child mollester he had sentenced.
The harassment began after Callahan dismissed a lawsuit Ms. Calvaruso filed
against an insurance company that refused to pay her medical bills, police
said. She faces five years in prison and a $12,500 fine.
The trend became clear in Cleveland during December. Jerry Burger, president
of AmeriCall, said crooks ripped open 18 of his phones in three days, setting
the company back about $60,000. "That's going to kill our profit for the year,"
he said Thursday.
Burger called his competitors and found that about 100 pay telephones
throughout Cleveland have been wrecked by thieves seeking computer chips, he
said. The thieves simply pry off the front of the phone, pull out the computer
board and can slide it into a pocket.
The phones involved are not simple coin boxes. In the world of the pay
telephone, Sandusky said, there are two types: dumb phones and smart phones.
Dumb phones, the kind used by major phone companies, contain no expensive
technology. They are controlled by computers in phone company offices.
Smart phones, however, are used by smaller businesses that specialize in pay
telephones. Each phone contains a microprocessor similar to the motherboard of
a personal computer. Computer chips allow the phones to track a variety of
information, such as the amount of money collected, and transmitt it to the
phone's owner.
Burger speculated that the chips are being exported to other countries,
where the pay telephone industry is growing. Burger said developing nations
had been advertising on the Internet for pay phone computer chips and
technicians to install them.
Sandusky said the guts of pay phones would have little appeal to most people.
They are designed to operate telephones and nothing more, he said. The loses
have been crippling to pay phone companies, many of which are small.
Sandusky's group represents 1,546 companies, which own about 300,000 phones.
In the old days, thieves struck pay phones to get the money. But Sandusky
said the computer chips cost $250 to more than $600 per phone, which is far
more valuable than the $40 or $50 the pay phones can hold.
Wood Puppy
So anyway he doesn't accept, so I wonder how the call went through. So I call
OCI again and ask to make a collect call to a number which is always busy. The
op askes for another number, I give her mark's. Once again I get through the
collect call block. Now I hang up, and dial another collect call service.
1-800-FUCK-MCI I dial. I put his number in, "Sorry this number does not accept
collect calls".
So I think I found another trick for OCI. You give them any old number to get
you in, then ask them to dial a number with collect call block and it goes
through.
Warren
thanks,
RCS
Classwar
The truck pulled up about five minutes after I boxed the call. The guy got out
of the truck and started walking up to me. He was about 20 yards away, and I
had about a 30 yard stretch to an alley that I'm familiar with. So I hung up
and started to walk in the other direction. He got back in his truck and drove
right up to me, and I just broke the fuck out and ran. He yelled something,
but I wasn't exactly paying much attention.
After having a conversation with a few of my friends, we figured out that all
of these incidents have occured within the same 4-block area (near the college
campus). Three times from the same fone!! Could it be possible that certain
fones are watched more carefully than others? I boxed from a fone just outside
of town for a few hours this afternoon, and nothing happened. I'll keep you
up to date.
When boxing a local call in this area, you always go thru a real live operator.
I did a little social engineering and I discovered how they were detecting the
box. The operator has a little screen in front of him/her that shows the
number being called, the number of the payfone, the amount of money in the
fone, and (here's the kicker) the amount of coins in the hopper. If the amount
of money in the fone is greater than the coins in the hopper, they send that
damn little red truck. A brief meeting with my friends seems to verify this
info. All of our troubles have occurred while boxing local calls!
Sure enough, a cop pulled up. After the cop broke us up, the Bell guy told him
I was attempting to "defraud" a pay fone. Cop searched me and found nothing.
The cop asked the bellboy exactly how i was "defrauding" a pay fone. He said
he didn't know. I started laughing 'cause it seemed pretty obvious that i was
in the clear, and this Bell guy started talking shit.
So what can we learn from this? Well, it seems that the operators and the
field guys aren't communicating too well. Also, some operators aren't hip to
the box, and it seems that short of getting caught redbox in hand, there isn't
much they can do.
BTW, my friend that had the box was in the parking lot in his car. He told me
he snapped a shot on his cheap camera when me and that Bell guy were scrappin'
so if the pic comes out good, i'll be damn sure to scan it and send it to you!
-The Faxinator
Nicole
Chris Hitchcock
darc
Anyway then just rattle of 12 number's 0-9 and claim it a
visa. they usually only charge cards 1-3 time's a week but will send the
flower's out right away. when they try to charge the card it will
of-course come up "invalid" the only lead they have to getting thier
money, is go back to the house they sent the flower's to. In the couple
time's I've done it, the flower shop got a little fierce, and the person
had to pay. $50 is pretty easy to spend on flower's but its a set-back to
just give up $50.
Like I say the list you made was great, c-ya,
Brian R.
RBCP - It seems that your little HiV prank and Kevin Christmas pranks, along with the pranks on CDS have been taken really seriously..CDS's Wade Fjeld has hired an investigator on the PLA. This is a formal warning,not just a flap. -anonymous
Attn: It has just come to the attention of the PLA that our arch enemy, Chris Tomkinson, is still a Virgin
What do you mean why New
Mexico? Haven't you ever
heard of Roy, New Mexico?
The mecca of mollestors?
The paradise of pedophiles?
The haven of hamsters who
hurt? -bbs post by el_jefe
The PLA thinks they're so funny. My friend BJ and I got constant harassment for weeks for no reason. We got harassing calls at all hours of the night, things ordered on our phone bills, charges to calls we didn't make, newspaper ads with our
numbers in it, etc. I believe it has something to do with me being on the staff at MSL/Spiff.net. They're nothing but little boys playing games.
dazen is a homosexual dazen
likes gerbils and crisco and
beans i bet he gets a boner
when he calls his mother on
the phone i bet he's really
uptight and needs a man or
some fucking prozac quick!!
This is the very first kind of fake ID I ever made and it's proven to be just
about the most useful one, not to mention cheap. It may sound rather retarded
at first but I swear this works great. You need to make a few copies of your
own driver's license, then find some scissors, elmer's glue, a few toothpicks
and some white-out.
Some places will say that one piece of ID just isn't going to cut it and you
need something else to convince them that you're who you say you are. Some
places say that just a phone bill or a utility bill is enough, maybe an
envelope that you received a bill in.
If you live in or by a larger city, chances are you have access to a flea
market. These are usually held in the summer time and have booth set up for
all kinds of odd things. In most of the flea markets I've been to, there's a
booth set up that does all kinds of printing services which includes making
fake IDs for "entertainment purposes."
This is something I've never had the guts to try, but I've had a couple
friends do it. One succeeded, one failed. The scam is simple - obtain a birth
certificate, social security card and some other form of ID to trick the DMV
into making you a real state-issued ID card.
Once you have someone's full info, you might want to try and get their birth
certificate. If you know which city and state they were born in, this
shouldn't be too hard. Birth Certificates are public documents and anyone can
get yours for a fee.
Very little ID is needed to get a new copy of your social security card. Find
the Social Security Administration in your town which should be listed in the
yellow pages. Usually they only require that you have a driver's license but
they'll almost always take something else instead, such as an canceled
envelope with your current address on it or maybe a college ID card. It
probably wouldn't be a good idea to use a photocopied driver's license and
definately wouldn't be a good idea to show them your photocopied SS card.
With today's easily available software and hardware, making an ID on your
computer has never been easier. Any kind of form creator program will work but
Aldus/Adobe Pagemaker is undoubtedly the best. If you can get a GIF of your-
self, you can even paste that into your ID document rather than physically
pasting a picture onto your ID once you've printed it, making it look all the
more professional looking.
You can make your college ID look twice as realistic by having it laminated.
You can buy a portable lamination machine from Office Max or Office Depot and
sometimes from smaller chain stores. It will usually cost under $50 and when
you're done with it, take it back for a refund. (of course)
If you've assumed the name of a person who might have good credit, it's time
to build up your identity even more by sending away for some important looking
credit cards.
Once you've made one of those photocopied state IDs, you should try to get
a PO Box to send your new SS cards, credit cards, etc to. Don't feel bad if
it doesn't work with just a photocopy. My success rate at the post office is
about 50% with a photocopy ID. The post office will want to know what address
you're currently living at. It's best to look up someone in the phone book
that has the same last name as your identity because they usually verify what
you tell them.
Minimal ID is usually needed for a library card. Some places have only asked
me for a utility bill in my name, something you can find digging through the
trash. Once I chose a random name out of the phone book very poorly. I was
just about to score my library card and the librarian handed the information
to another librarian so she could type up my card. She began typing and all
of a sudden, "Hey, you're not Mr. xxxxx. This is my next door neighbor!" "No,"
I replied, "He must have the same name that I do. I'm Mr. xxxxx." "Hmmmmmm,"
she responds smartly, "And you live in his house too?" "Oh, er, ah, well," I
stutter, "excuse me..." and I quickly make my way to freedom. Boy, those
librarians sure are fierce.
Well, that's it. It wasn't the most in-depth fake ID article, but it should
give you an idea of where to start. I probably left a few things out because
it's been so long since I've messed with this type of thing. Any ideas or
suggestions are welcome.
PLA'S LATEST ADVENTURES WITH CORDLESS PHONES
We were at a friends' house (okay, well, I used to have one friend.) and I
just happened to turn on the scanner when a guy was reading off all of his
personal information including his name, address, phone number and creidt card
number. I missed the name and address but that didn't matter. I wrote down his
phone number. I would have written down the credit card number but I have no
use for those because that would be credit card fraud and I just don't do that
kind of stuff because it's bad and I'm not a bad person, you know? (pardon me,
that was a discreet disclaimer for any feds reading this publication. sorry.)
ME: Yes, this is John from the subscription office. I'm just calling back
because we're having problems verifying your credit card number.
HIM: You mean it's not going through?
ME: I mean we're having problems because you're a stupid shit for subscribing
to a boring magazine like that so we're going to make you happier by
changing the subscription to MAD magazine instead.
HIM: I-
ME: Have a nice day.
The poor guy must have taken the whole thing seriously because he called back
the subscription office and started explaining that he really wanted the
magazine he ordered. The lady who answered was the same lady who took his
order and was baffled by his story. "We don't even sell Mad magazine here."
A lady calls GTE to tell them that when she's having problems connecting to
her work's computer system with her laptop. GTE says they'll have to upgrade
her line status which will cost an extra $6.50 a month. Gee, that sounds like
a scam to me. My computer connects just fine here. Anyway, after she gets off
the phone, of course I have to call her.
HER: Hello?
ME: Hi, this is Steve with GTE repair. I understand you're having some
problems with your computer connections?
HER: (Begins to explain her problems to me...)
ME: Hmmmm, well, a line upgrade might not be neccessary. What brand of
computer are you using?
HER: It's a Toshiba laptop.
ME: Ah! That's you're problem right there. We've had this before.
HER: What's that?
ME: A Toshiba. That's a fucking piece of shit of a computer you own. Throw
the fucking thing in the god damned garbage can a buy yourself a new
computer.
HER: (laughs) Well-
ME:
She sits on the phone for a minute, then hangs up. Then she dials "0".
OPERATOR: GTE, may I help you?
HER: (sounds REALLY pissed) I need to talk to your supervisor.
OPERATOR: Please hold.
She ends up getting transfered to the billing office where she yells at the
people there. They ask if she's on a cordless phone perhaps and she replies
yes. The operator advises her to unplug her cordless phone and not to use it
anymore. Right them she switches phones and I never hear from her again.
I turned on the scanner and an old man was talking to some catalog company and
ordering a jacket for his son-in-law. He read off his full information which
included his Discover card and his son's information for shipping. After he
hung up, I immediately called him:
HIM: Hello?
ME: Yes, this is Jim from the shipping department. We're having a little
trouble with the jacket you ordered?
HIM: Yes?
ME: Well, you wanted the Dark Navy Teil and we seem to be out of that color
so we're going to have to substitute it with Turquoise.
HIM: What color is that?
ME: It's kind of a day-glow blue color. Very pantsy-looking.
HIM: I don't think I'd want that color...
ME: Well, you don't have a choice. That's what we're shipping. (During all
this I'm cracking up and I keep having to hold down the mute button so I
can laugh.)
HIM: (muttering) Let's see what else you have here...
ME: No, I said we're sending you the pantsy color and that's what you're
getting. We also don't have the 35" sleaves so you're going to have to
settle for a 10". Sorry.
HIM: What?
ME: And this is also going to cost a little more on your Discover card. (At
this point I slam down the phone because I'm laughing so hard.)
As soon as he realizes I've hung up, he calls back the catalog company and
gives them his information and explains to them what just happened. The lady
at the company doesn't know what to think and says she'll ask her supervisor
and call back if there were any changes in the order. After that call, I call
his son-in-law. He's not there so I get to talk to his wife instead.
ME: So this is Mrs. xxx?
HER: Yes it is.
ME: Well, your father just placed an order with us and we're out of the color
he wanted so we just wanted to let you know that we've substituted it
with a very girly-looking light blue color with yellow polka dots and
this will only increase the charge on his Discover card by a mere $25.
HER: Yeah, right. (chuckles) I can tell you right now that my husband won't
want that color.
ME: Well, it's not his decision, is it? His polka-dot coat will arrive there
sometime before January 21st. Thank you for ordering with us.
About this time, the old man calls up his daughter and they swap stories and
think that this is really all kind of strange. The old man calls the catalog
company once again to tell them his new story. They have no clue and tell him
that his order hasn't been touched. Unfortunately, this is a very calm old man
and he doesn't yell or anything which made it quite boring.
HIM: Hello.
ME: Yes, this is Kahoona Jim from the Hawaii Chamber of Commerce. I under-
stand that you're planning on vacationing down here in a few weeks?
HIM: Yes, I am.
ME: Well, I'm just calling to inform you that we don't want you here and not
to come to Hawaii. Maybe you could vacation in Kansas instead.
HIM: No, I've already bought plane tickets to Hawaii.
ME: Well, you're gonna have to get a refund on those. You're not welcome here.
HIM: Why not?
ME: Because you might interfere with the hoola girls dancing or something.
HIM: (starts giving me an old man laugh) Well, I'm commin' anyway.
ME: Well, I'll just have my supervisor meet you at the airport and tell you
to go home!
PHONE LOSERS OF AMERICA HEADLINE NEWS
Feb 1, 1984 Celina Daily Standard
Some people are angered by wrong numbers. They bellow and slam the phone down
as if the caller did it on purpose. Not me. I make the best of wrong numbers,
and sometimes they can be fun.
"No."
"Oh, I asked your switchboard for the comptroller's office."
"Maybe he's not around."
"I see. Well, could you answer my questions?"
"Sure, why not. As long as they don't have to do with corporate secrets."
"No, I don't think they will"
"Okay."
"All right. Now, how many employees does your company have?"
"Oh, we've got lots of them."
"Lots?"
"Sure, lots and lots. We've got them all over the palce. You should see it."
"Could you be more specific in terms of numbers of employees?"
"Well, that's hard to do. We really don't count them because they're always
moving around. It's hard to make a headcount. But we've got thousands of them,
I can tell you that."
"Are there more than 5,000?"
"Are you kidding? We've probably got 10 times that many. I mean, this is no
ma and pa grocery store, you know."
"I see. Well, can I ask you about your policy on corporate credit cards?"
"No credit cards. No sirree."
"Why is that?"
"Listen, you start giving people credit cards and how do you know what
they're going to buy with them? First thing you know, they're buying expensive
gifts for their girlfriends. Perfume. Jewelry. Eating in French restaurants.
Some people are weak."
"Well, do your employees travel?"
"Some do, some don't. Depends on if they're going somewhere."
"How do you handle payment for travel without creidt cards?"
"We give them a few bucks cash and tell them: ' When that runs out, get your
ass back here.'"
"I see. Well, that's an interesting policy."
"I think so."
"Could I have your name please?"
I give her my name.
"And what is your title?"
"Uh, we don't go in for all those traditional corporate titles."
"Well, are you the chief executive officer?"
"I really don't like to use that title."
"What title do you use?"
"Well, they call me the Big Heat."
"The Big Heat?"
"Yep. Got it on my office door. Looks real good."
"The Big Heat."
"Yeah. Or just plain Heat for short."
"Well, I've never heard of corporate titles like those before."
"I guess the trend hasn't reached California yet."
"I guess not. Well, thanks you. Good-bye."
"By-dee-bye."
Woman Convicted of Harassing Judge
taken from Celina's Daily Standard, Monday, January 6, 1997
AKRON, Ohio (AP) - A State Highway Patrol dispatcher convicted of harassing a judge who dismissed her lawsuit against a medical insurer will be sentenced
in April.
Thieves Targeting High-Tech Insides of Pay Phones - Daily Standard, 1-10-97
Telephones Contain Expensive Computer Boards and Chips
CLEVELAND (AP) - A new target for thieves is the pay telephone, but not for
the quarters. They are after computer chips, the smarts of some phones'
operating systems. "In the last two years, it's really become a problem," said
Vince Sandusky, president of the American Public Communications Council, which
represents pay telephone companies.LETTERS
Yesterday me and my friend Dave decided to just Harrass this guy who thinks we
are his uncle bob all day long. Well we did this, so after awhile he took the
phone off the hook. So the oci lady asked us if we had another number in mind,
so I decided to give her 860-528-5460. This number belongs to a Wannabe Latin
Gangsta named Mark. He has a collect call block on his phone. Well guess
what?? The call went through! [And holy jesus, it works! Good job. Now nobody is safe.]
Mr. RedBoxChilliPepper,
i must say that you are an idle for me. I appreciate
all the work you have put into your web page, and all the pla zines are great!
I just hope that you dont stop making them, because that would be a waste of a
great talent. Anywayz, i just wanted to say that i am glad that the pla exsits,
and this would be a dull world without it...
one last q... who the hell is Chris Tomkinson?
Jamie D[blushing...]
As a former sheriff's investigator & private investigator, I have found
your site to be the best of its kind on the internet. If you want some-
thing to work on, try figuring a way to access the DMV records of any of
the states. After all, it is hardly 'fair' that most of them are avail-
able only to law enforcement and private investigative agencies.[I always assumed that dmv records were available to anyone who
could pay the fee. Maybe it varies from state to state. I know
that some gas stations can call up the dmv and request info on
a license plate because of a gas drive off. I've done this in
the past several times to get dmv info.]
hey...how's it going. I checked out that issue on Dino and the Dino
soundbites. Needless to say I laughed my ass of. What a redneck loser.
Anyway, I love that Intel faxback service thing you had in PLAO42...do you
have any more faxback numbers like that? Or any other relatively simple
things you can do you fuck people over with just a phone? We're new to
this, sorry if our naivity is annoying...but man, this is just too much
fun...thanks... [I'm glad that the whole world is having a great laugh at
the expense of Dino. About the fax-back numbers, the
response for those has been great and I've got about 20
fax-back numbers now. The first 10 I received are listed
in the PLA96WIN phone directory, located on our web site
or from me by e-mail. ]
[The following is several letters and replies from an 806
phreak named intergalactic. Seems there might be a frightening
twist to red boxing these days...] [Are you sure that SWB was after you or were they just
driving by? Remember, SWB really has no authority. They
can't arrest you or search you unless they have a policeman
with them. If you have anymore details on this, let me know.][A few emails later...]
[One thing - have you figured out yet if they have the
authority to arrest you or will they just come up and
say, "Hey, cut that out!"] [I was thinking - you and a friend should go to a pay
phone, box a local call, have your friend leave with
the red box and any other questionable devices you
have on you, then sit there and talk to the local
person. Would be interesting to see what the Bell Task
Force would do if you didn't have a red box on you.]
PLA,
The fax-back numbers in your Winter 96 directory were great. Now
I don't even have to work very hard to torture my teachers, I just
dial a few fax-back numbers every few hours and that keeps them
busy all night. I've even written a script in my Telix that dials
all the 800 numbers, options and phone numbers for me. I'm so
fucking lazy, ain't I?
man i love you where are all the tits
i love the tits
could you talk abbout tits and boobs and hooters in your next issue
i was fifteen and i went out with a twelve year old it was my first date
ever i got dumped a short while latter
please make fun of me in future issues
its the only thing that would cheer me up
the worst part is none if this is being made up
oh lord tAKE MY LIFE MAKE ME DIE
Hi, I'd just like you to know that apok0lamer is a bastard.
Sorry, I'm not bitter or anything. Just a lowly computational physics
major who wants to show him an experiment in molecular ocillation theory
when my foot collides with his ass. Ok, maybe that WAS bitter.
don't forget going into #cybersex / #netsex / #gayphonesex / whatever
and asking them to call you collect for hot phone sex at 412 748 4504
(victims number, who i hate) at odd hours in the morning, that way
several (if you do it well, lots) of collecct calls not from you to the
person...well just an idea i had, later..and awesome page :)
hi there, I read your idea's on how to drive someone crazy and quite a
kick out of it, and got a few idea's. I felt I should share one I like.
This can only be done at small flower shops that dont verify Credit Card
number's right away.Send someone a bunch of flower's, and they are not
cheap! have a card saying from "whoever" I like to sign it short hair,
third row.
Jason P [I'm glad you got some good use out of the list. However, I
don't know where you're from but I don't know any flower
shop that will just take 12 random numbers as a credit card.
Then, I've never tried it. 1-800-FLOWERS is an easy target.]
Hey, whats up? I just wanted to let you know of a little thing I do to Scam
the evil Wal-Mart. All you have to do is go into thier fish department with
a plastic bag and go into the Bathroom and get some water in it. Then go to
the Fish Dept. and grab one of thier expensive fish when nobody is looking.
Then, just go to the customer service desk and get real bitchy with them
telling them that when you took it home it killed all the rest of your fish.
Tell them that you no longer want this fish and get a refund for it. They
will also give you a $10 Wal-Mart gift Certificate for thier store (I think
it's some sort of policy because I have done this 3 times and everytime I
get $10, when I ask for $20 they tell me that for that they have to talk to
a manager, so I just settle for a $10 G.C). All you need is a plastic bag
and you can walk out with $15 dollars cash and a $10 Gift Certificate. [Their fish cost $15??]
MISC STUFF
-MasterMiiND on alt.2600
<-==-Joe Shambro-==->
