PLA Issue 33

Phone Losers of America Issue 33

Completed On July 4, 1995

Table of Contents:

  • Introduction - RBCP
  • Running The Neighborhood - Monster Magnet
  • The Official Phreaker's Manual
  • Classified Ads
  • How To Make A Beige Box
  • Roy, New Mexico Telephone Directory
  • Interviews With Roy Residents
  • Phone Loser Headline News
  • Application to Carry PLA (Ya-hoo!)

    Introduction

    If you haven't already, you should download the PLA95SUM.ZIP which is the first edition of the Phone Losers Fone Directory. It's got a lot of phone numbers in it that you'll never have any kind of need for! In this issue you're going to learn how to run your neighborhood as well as the history of phone phreaking and tips on how to be a real honest-to-god phone phreak! I've also included a classified ads section where you can advertise anything you want. If you'd like to place an ad in the PLA classifieds, e-mail me today.

    I received a call from the Sprint Billing Office the other day concerning my overdue $300 phone bill. I learned through my expert social engineering techniques that I can't use Monopoly money to pay for a Sprint phone bill but it is alright to use someone else's stolen credit card to pay for it as long as I have the actual name on the card. I told him to accomplish this I would have to go out and mug a yuppie and steal his wallet and his only reply was that "That wouldn't be good." Never once did he tell me not to do it so I was thinking that maybe I could mug a guy and if I get caught I could blame it all on the Sprint operator. I told the guy that if all goes well with the mugging I should have the check in the mail by Friday.

    A big hello goes out to the "PLA Troy Division", the little 8th graders in Troy, Illinois who've taken it upon themselves to print out all the PLA issues and sell them to the kids who aren't a part of the amazing information super- highway. Another hello goes out to Moondog, also of Troy who gave me their names and phone numbers. (Thank you!) And last but not least, Mr. Joseph who changed his number, made it unlisted and password protected the account just so we'd leave him alone. His new unlisted & protected number is 618-797-1156. His wife actually started calling and saying, "Ha ha" after they changed it and we couldn't call. Then she said, "What does PLA stand for anyway? Penis Lickers Anonymous?? HAHAHAHAHA!" All this from a thirty year old welfare mom. Sheesh!

    Running The Neighborhood - Monster Magnet:

    After reading this you will probably think that I am a sick and deranged man who enjoys to be.....anti-social.....at best. Anyways...I'm going to tell you how to run your neiborhood. Yes, yes, yes...I'm sure all of you have seen text files on the basic skills of anarchy, but here's another, so pay attention and sit up straight!

    One night, when you have nothing better to do, just grab an old rag that just happens to be soaking in motor oil and walk down your street to the local gossip's house....you know....the one who told your parents about when your girlfriend climbed through your windows and then told them all the things that you and her shouted out in that evening of pleasure. Take that rag and jam it up the tailpipe of the car. After a few monthes, she'll either have bad lungs or worse. While you're there, just grab a couple of the bushes and other plant life that you can rip out of the ground, trees included if you are one of those buff people, and throw them on the roof. It will make quite an impression on the night before the neighborhood contest for the prettiest lawn and land- scaping.

    Of course, it would be silly to just stop there...just look around for some nice roadkill, there's always a possum here and there, and stuff it in the mail box. If you're really clever, you would have a sticker handy that said 'Special Delivery From Our Oven To Your Home' and have a little picture of Mrs. Baird or something. Before you leave, make sure you have a nice can of gasoline and pour a big puddle on the porch and make a trail to the side of the house. Next, go ring the doorbell and run to the side of the house and light the gasoline from there. When she opens the door she will see a huge trail of flame turning the corner and running up the front walk right for her. Usually after she slams the door you can here loud cussing followed by intense prayer. It's a real eye-openner.

    In case there is no neighborhood gossip, you don't have a girlfriend to sneak in, or if you're just not one of those religious types, just grab some threaded pipes, some caps for them, some baby food jars, rocks, baking soda, vinegar, gasoline, and of course matches, and head down to your local church. One of the first things to do is to grab a monk outfit and stand by the cross. It's good to have little contact explosives with you. I don't quite remember the recipe, but it involves a cookie sheet, petroleum jelly, black powder, and one or two other things but they are really cool to toss around.

    Hopefully this church has statues of Jesus, his mom and dad, and those three wise guys that you can stand with so you don't look too out of place. As little kids or old ladies walk by toss one of those contact explosives at their feet. Make sure it's a small piece because a good sized one will knock out a brick wall. After everyone is inside, grab a threaded pipe and put some rocks in it. Next fill the baby food jar with vinegar, then fill the pipe with baking soda, but not too much. Then put the caps on the pipe REAL tight. Do this a couple of times to get a good supply. Next, pour gasoline on the cross and light it. Scream about how Alla will forgive their evil ways and toss the pipes into the parking lot. Inside the pipe, the baby food jars should break and the baking soda and vinegar will mix, bubble heavily, and the pipe should explode sending pieces of metal, rocks, glass, and liquid in all directions. Now, since you've been seen you should uproot a bush and hold it behind you and run away so they will think you are a terrorist from Iraq and no one will think it was you.

    Well, I hope that gave you all good ideas on how to spend your Saturday nights! Just don't forget to carve PLA in one of the big trees around what ever you... visit....just so everyone knows that the Phone Losers are out to get them. Below the initials you might want to put a note saying that all bills will be covered by Chris Tomkinson and leave his address.

    The Official Phreakerz Manual - by RedRoyChiliPepper:

    Are you ready to be in the 3733178 Phreaking & Hacking scene?? Well, for all of you beginers, I've compiled all of the best text files along with my own extensive know-how to teach you, the novice, how to become one of the big guys in the scene.

    History:

    Every real phreaker in the scene knows his history so here's a brief summary of how it all began and how it's progressed through the years... In the begining, there was one phreak who started it all. His name was Bob and every phreak in the world could eventually trace their origins to Bob. Bob, born in Tribune, Kansas, was a homeless man who was rummaging through a dumpster by the phone company building looking for the night's supper and some alluminum cans (Bob was an earth-conscience wino) when he came across a large blue manual labeled "Southwestern Bell's Blue Manual of Phone Company Tones E911 That Ordinary Citizens Should Never Never Never Ever Never Have Access To!" Gee, thought Bob, I could use this very large manual tonight to cover myself up with while I sleep on the park bench.

    That night, while having a little trouble sleeping (Bob had a bad case of insomnia), Bob began to read this manual and began to think about all he'd found and the next morning, sitting on the City Hall's steps used a Campbell's soup can, some string and various other electronic parts and assembled the world's first "Blue Box." With it, Bob was able to call anywhere on the block by using his blue box to mimick the phone company's own tones. Later that winter he met a man named John Draper who was in town for an anti-smoking conference who discovered that with a simple modification, Bob's blue box could call any- where in the world.

    A year later, in 1978, a lot had happened to John Draper. One morning he was looking around in the kitchen for his Frosted Flakes and was pissed when he found out that his room mate had eaten them all so he had to settle for Froot Loops instead. He ate four bowls so he could finally get to the bottom of the box to get the toy surprise, which was a plastic dildo for kids! After playing with the dildo for several hours, he found that when he blew into the end of it, he would hear a sound very close to 26,000,000 Htz, the same tone that his blue box made to control the phone company! John immediately adopted the handle Capt'n Crunch to throw the feds off and set out to Kroger's to buy out their entire suppy of Froot Loops.

    Eventually, word spread about the blue boxes and many other boxes began to be built by "phone phreaks", each one serving a different form of phone fraud. One of the more well known phreaks was a man named Joe Engressia, a deaf man who lived in Tennessee. He was eventually able to cause the pay phones in his college to give out free calls to the other students by whistling country songs into the phones. He found that when he whistled anything by Wayne Newton he could get a free call but since he was deaf, he had to get a friend to talk on the phone to whoever he reached for him. Joe was finally busted in the early eighties and sentenced to death in the state of Florida.

    In 1983 the controversial movie, War Games came out and gave birth to a new generation of computer hackers and phone phreaks. Starring Tom Cruise as a teen-age hacker, this movie told the story of a kid who came close to starting Operation Dessert Storm when he used his computer to call up the library and erase his outstanding overdue book late fees.

    In 1986, Erik Bloodaxe and Gail Thatckery started a publication called Phrack, which was run out of Erik's garage on his Timex Sinclair 1000 computer. Phrack continued to be the nation's leading hacker magazine until an investigator for Pacific Bell ate beans for supper and bought a 14.4 Hayes Accura modem and Phrack was shut down until the controversial E*32 article was found to have actually been written by Steve Jackson who ran a super-underground bbs called P-80 Systems.

    Today the scene is still alive and kicking. Hacker Kevin Mitnick was located and arrested for writing anarchy files detailing how to crash airplanes into the White House and how to make Drain-o bombs and Wal-Mart continues to give full money-back refunds to people who give them modem casings full of crushed Pepsi cans. No one has heard from Bob for over twenty years now.

    Phone Company Acronyms:

    Now that you know all the history of the underground, it's time for the technical stuff. Below I'm going to list a few of the acronyms that the phone companies use.

    COSMOS - Computer Operations Mattel Or Something, I think. This is the system
         that the phone company uses to print out their paychecks
LAC - Local Area Con. The phone company uses this term to inform people that
      there's a hacker conference in town.
RBOC - Regional Big Office Center. This is where the big offices are located
       that the employees work in.
    Of course there's a whole lot more but I think that I'm too eleet to tell you. It's not really because I don't know myself. I know everything.

    Phone Phreak Conference Bridges:

    One of the phone phreaks major sources of trading information is the phone companys' teleconferencing services. When you hook into one of these systems, you can talk with over two people at once! The phone company's technical term for this is three-way calling and the underground is currently working on ways to get this service so they can use it on their home phones. In the old days it was really easy to do with a Kitty Litter Box and everything but with the advancing technology and the 5EFF switching system, it's a little bit more complicated.

    K0dez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:

    Getting a hold of credit card and calling card numbers is a phreak's most important task. Every real phreak in the country has set up their home answering machine as a "code line" and then created an 800 number to their house and advertised the number on bbs systems and local newspapers for people to call. When you reach a code line, the owner will read off a bunch of good codes and then at the tone you leave your own. NEVER set up a code line on a VMB system you've infiltrated!! YOU WILL BE CAUGHT!! Always set up the code lines from your home phone. This is the proven safe way.

    Pay Phone Tricks:

    We all know that using your home phone is the best place to use stolen calling cards and credit cards from, but sometimes it's necessary to use a pay phone, usually because a phreak is locked out of the house and didn't have his lock- picking anarchy filez on him. To get free calls on a pay phone, all you need is a "black box". This box mimicks the sound of slugs going into a pay phone and gives you free calls. If a phone company employee approaches you while you're black boxing, always smile and be friendly and show him your black box. It impresses the hell out of them when they learn about these things and most likely you'll make a new friend.

    Another little known trick is all of the Bell pay phones secret commands. Go to any Bell or GTE phone, pick up the handset, deposit a quarter and dial "24998-24001-29190904675971-87-429087" and just watch what happens! All of the money came out of the phone, right?? That's right, since Knight Lightning published that pay phone key schematic in his CoTNo magazine, the phone company stopped using keys altogether and use this access codes on all of the phones across the United States. (Of course, this only works on Bell and GTE phones.)

    Well, that's gonna be it for this issue. Perhaps in the next issue I'll speak a bit more on the new 5EFF switching systems, cellular hacking, putting your home fone in test mode and field phreaking.

    Classified Ads

    FOR SALE: One (1) GTE Public Pay Phone ripped off the wall from Ed's Bar & Grill in Waverly, Iowa. In good condition aside from a few scrapes and some grafitti here and there. Features touch tone dialings, volume control, rigged for free calls, filled with $200 in quarters that I can't manage to get out. Weighs about 900 lbs and I'm asking $2.00 for it. Call me at 801-855-3326 if you're interested. WARNING: This product is equiped with a GTE Homing Device (tm). If you buy this phone and live in GTE territory, they will drive a bunch of trucks around your neighborhood and find you. Any buyers?

    WANTED: Any kind of fone answering machine that doesn't have remote access capabilities. I really need an answering machine cheap but I can't have RedBoxChiliPepper always listening to all my messages. Call Chris Tomkinson at 618-258-0357.

    FOR SALE: One kidnapped AT&T operator. Old, wrinkly, wears glasses and an operator headset all the time. Answers to the name of Kay. Abducted earlier this week from the AT&T building in Portland, Oregon on Stark Street. Not really a very friendly type but she likes to answer the phone. Anyone interested, please send a self addressed, stamped envelope to 4361 Vine Street, Cincinnati, Ohio, 69842 or call 1-800-328-2120.

    FOR SALE, GODDAMMIT: One cocksucking cordless phone. $30 obo or 15 packs of Marlboros. No longer needed because those dickweeds keep listening in on my fucking conversation but just let 'em fucking try it again. I got the *32 all rigged with the phone company and I'll find the little bastards. I know who you are, Roy. Call Dean Allsman, 618-xxx-xxxx.

    GARAGE SALE: 1021 Broadway, Highland, IL. Sat & Sun, rain or shine. Clothes, toys, Wangs, Mainframes, red boxes, blue boxes, lineman's handsets, nick knacks, old crossbar switches, 500 meg hard drives, phone company technical manuals, electronics, lots more!

    Would you like to leave an ad in the PLA Classified section? If so, e-mail the classified department at rbcp@big12.metrobbs.com or you can phone in your ad at 512-703-8910. Rates are 15-20 works, free and 21 words or more will cost you your soul. Just check "bill me!"

    How To Build A Beige Box

    by Calimar Rasputan (Caffeine Boy):

    First, get a phone with a cord. Cut the jack off. Put roach clips on the wires. Find a box. Use it.

    Roy, New Mexico Telephone Directory:

    PLA is proud to be the first to bring you the Roy, New Mexico telephone directory. Below is the number of every listed person in Roy's September 1995 telephone book. Also included are a few phone conversation transcripts from when I called up residents of Roy and interviewed them. None of them are made up, these are actual conversations that I transcribed from tapes. Residents of Roy are awaiting your calls!

    -A-
    
Abernathy, E H................485-2417  Alexander, Bernice............485-2249
Ambulance..........................911  Anderson, Dorothy G...........485-2489
Anderson, Grady O.............485-2573  Anderson, Hob.................485-2691
Anderson, Richard Ray.........485-2504  Andreas, Ebell................485-2661
Archuleta, Henry..............485-2291  Archuleta, Tony...............485-2284
Atkins, Joe A.................374-8648


    -B-
    
Baca, Henry Jr................485-2231  Baca, John M..................485-2605
Bada, Jerry...................485-2430  Bada, Ruth....................485-2524
Baker, Darrel.................485-2476  Barbeau, Roland G.............485-2411
Baum, James...................485-2538  Beard, Earl B.................485-2450
Beard, Elmer..................485-2460  Beard, Floyd W................485-2465
Belvin, Jimmy.................485-2440  Bencomo, Ben..................485-2556
Bennett, S A..................485-2494  Berner, Wallance D............485-2485
Blasi, John...................485-2232  Blosser A C...................485-2530
Boulware, Richard.............485-2508  Bowman, Willis W Jr...........485-2514
Brock, Stephen L..............485-2554  Brockman, Gene................485-2420
Brown, Trigg..................485-2483  Burton, Neil..................485-2674


    -C-
    
Cactus Flower Gifts...........485-2626  Cates, John C.................485-2218
Chisum, Curtis Carl...........485-2688  Clavel, C J Jody..............485-2543
Clavel, Joe...................485-2591  Couch, Ottie..................485-2226
Craig, Jim....................485-2660


    -D-
    
DeHerrera, Ernest.............485-2617  DeLano, Mike..................485-2449
Deschamps, Emilio.............485-2428  Deschamps, Gilbert............485-2240
Dikeman, Gerald...............485-2250  Du La, Bruce..................485-2551


    -E-
    
Eastern Plains Title 111......485-2639  Ebell, Anthony Sister.........485-2676
Ebell, Anothony & Terry.......485-2252  Ebell, Bonifacio..............485-2265
Ebell, Bonifacio S............485-2667  Ebell, Hilario................485-2241
Ebell, Horacio J..............485-2260  Esquibel, Annette.............485-2436
Esquibel, Antonio & Felicia...485-2408  Esquibel, Cassie..............485-2643
Esquibel, Charlie.............485-2243  Esquibel, Johnny E............485-2640
Esquibel, Lencho..............485-2293  Esquibel, Secundino...........485-2623


    -F-
    
Farley Ranch-Flemming Camp....485-2515  Farley Ranch..................485-2575
Farley School.................485-2606  Fire Department....................911
First Baptist Church..........485-2679  Floershiem, Allen.............485-2211
Floershiem Printing...........485-2212  Floershiem Printing Line 2....485-2213
Fluhman, Ernest Warner Jr.....485-2582  Fluhman, Lee & Sherrita.......485-2586


    -G-
    
Gallagher, J E................485-2224  Garcia, Jimmy.................485-2431
Garrison, Harrell.............485-2568  Gift, Fred....................485-2440
Gillespie, G P................485-2517  Gilstrap, Phil................485-2233
Glaze, James & Ross...........485-2525  Gonzales, Eloy T..............485-2650
Gonzales, Maria J.............485-2246  Gutierrez, Ernest.............485-2665


    -H-
    
Harding County Fire District..485-2637  Harding Magistrate Court......485-2549
Hartley, Pat..................485-2534  Hartley, Pat (Mobile Unit??)..763-5575
Hazen, Billy..................485-2696  Hazen, Richard................485-2618
Heimann, Frank................485-2507  Hephner, Anthony & Cathie.....485-2269
Herron, L Allen...............485-2636  Hicks, Bob....................485-2544
Holy Family St. Joseph Parish.485-2579  Hooper, Edith.................485-2592


    -I-
    
Ivey, A E.....................485-2276  Ivey, Era Allice Mrs..........485-2562


    -J-
    
Jeffers, Viola................485-2433  Johnson, Carroll Mrs..........485-2227
Judy, Rod.....................485-2649


    -K-
    
KGM Electric..................485-2217  Kidd, Champ...................485-2296
Kirkland, J H.................485-2295  Kitzing, August...............485-2285


    -L-
    
Latham, John..................485-2536  Laumbach, Alfred C............485-2457
Laumbach, Pedro J.............485-2678  Laumbach, Rick................485-2253
Ledoux, Pat...................485-2621  Linder, Dave W................485-2427
Lovato, Joe M.................485-2692  Lovato, Manuel................485-2201
Lovato, Tody..................485-2629  Lucero, G A...................485-2414
Lujan.........................485-2266  Lujan, Louis A................485-2468


    -M-
    
Mackey, Monroe................485-2296  Madole, Wyman.................485-2237
Maestas, Frank................485-2689  Mahoney J H Construction......485-2244
Mahoney, John A...............485-2572  Manly, Ray E..................485-2279
Martha's Cafe.................485-2661  Martin W F....................485-2219
Martinez, Berthn..............485-2466  Martinez, Frances G...........485-2215
Martinez, George & Rachel.....485-2217  Martinez, Nick Jr.............485-2255
Masonic Lodge.................485-2546  Mayer, Doc & Corolyn..........485-2462
McDonald, Harrison............485-2287  McGlaun, Casey................485-2687
Menapace, M E.................485-2259  Mesa Hotel....................485-2661
Methodist Parsonage...........485-2594  Mike's Conoco.................485-2267
Milson D S....................485-2298  Mitchell, Chet................485-2547
Mitchell, Ed..................485-2589  Montoya, Florencio J..........485-2223
Montoya, Michael..............485-2270  Moore, Jack...................485-2685
Motor Vehicle Division........485-2607


    -N-
    
New Mexico Highway & Trans....485-2646  New Mexico Highway Department.485-2697
New Mexico Park Service.......485-2424  New Mexico State Land Office..485-2627
Nucci, Eugene J...............485-2662


    -O-
    
Olivas, Julian & Helen........485-2636


    -P-
    
Payton, Leon..................485-2297  Pendleton, D C................485-2248
Pendleton Oil & Gas Company...485-2262  Pendleton Station.............485-2542
Pendleton, Stephen R..........485-2630  Perea, Richard................485-2288
Pete's Boots & Saddles........485-2220  Police Department.............485-2204
Popejoy Construction Co Inc...485-2454  Porterfield, Harold...........485-2202
Powell, Mary..................485-2432  Prichard, Donald..............485-2595


    -Q-
    
Quintana, Lucille.............485-2670  Quintana, Pete................485-2271
Quintana, Roy T...............485-2238


    -R-
    
Rael, M.......................485-2577  Raska, Wayne..................485-2624
Ray, Donna....................485-2545  Ray, George H 3rd.............485-2559
Ray Ranch.....................485-2559  Ray, Wendy & Rocky............485-2619
Redlich, Frank................485-2490  Reese Ranch Store.............485-2426
Rice..........................485-2687  Rigoni, Brenda F..............485-2570
Rigoni, James.................485-2634  Rigoni, Roy...................485-2283
Romero, Edward................485-2653  Romero, Santos & Faye.........485-2564
Roy Feed Store................485-2626  Roy Public School.............485-2521
Roy Public School (Suptndt)...485-2242  Roy Sundries..................485-9939
Roy Village Clerk.............485-2541  Roy Matenance.................485-2435
Roy Marshall (Police Dept)....485-2204  Water Superintendent..........485-2435


    -S-
    
S O Ranch.....................485-2688  S O Ranch Camp................485-2537
Sanchez, Maria Martinez.......485-2503  Sande, Dean...................485-2655
Sandoval, Alfred Jr...........485-2616  Saunders, Juanita & Gary......485-2406
Scott, Allen..................485-2657  Scott, Carl...................485-2628
Scott, Keith..................485-2652  Scott's Stop 'N' Shop.........485-2299
Self, Dolty & Betty...........485-2275  Self, Roy H...................485-2236
Shaw, Albert..................485-2264  Shurbet, L V..................485-2239
Skies, Cliff..................485-2575  Skiles, Cliff.................485-2515
Smith, Bryce..................485-2520  Smith, Thomas.................485-2598
Springer Electric Cooperative.485-2253  Sussman, Norman & Gabriele....485-2222


    -T-
    
Tafoya, Delfinia..............485-2593  Tafoya, Steve.................485-2695
Taylor, Bennie................485-2282  Telles, M A...................485-2588
The Bank of New Mexico........485-2281  Trampe, Agnes.................485-2221


    -U-
    
Ulibarri, Larry...............485-0334  Soil Conservation Service.....485-2294
U.S. Post Office..............485-2648  Unruh, Herman & Helen.........485-2592


    -V-
    
Velasquez, John...............485-2234


    -W-
    
Wadlington, Virginia..........485-2555  Wallis, Francis...............485-6101
Weathers, L...................485-2461  Weathers, T Allen.............485-2539
Weisdorfer, Charles Ivan......485-2254  Weisdorfer, Donald............485-2256
Weisdorger, Donald............485-2671  Wood, Travis..................485-2693


    -X-Y-Z-
    
Ybarra, Amadeo................485-2610  Ybarra, Carmen................485-2690
Ybarra Propane................485-2686  Zachry, Dellas G..............485-2654
    Their phone company is called Enmr Telephone Cooperative, Inc. Their business office's number is 1-800-432-2369 and repair service is also 1-800-432-2369.

    Interviews With Roy Residents:

    Cactus Flower Gifts: I called here and a very nice lady answered the phone. Their phone number is 485-2626 so it's obvious that this is Emanuel Goldstien's Roy Headquarters for 2600 Magazine.

    HER: Cactus Flower Gifts.
ME:: What kind of flowers can I get there?
HER: Well, we don't actually have any flowers available right now.
ME:: Isn't this a flower shop?
HER: No, it's a gift shop.
ME:: Like sort of a souvineer shop??
HER: Yeah.
ME:: Hey, cool, do you have anything with "Roy New Mexico" printed on it?
HER: Hmmm, well, we have coffee mugs and some magnets.
ME:: How much are the magnets?
HER: They're $2.10, that'd be $2.22 with tax.
ME:: Do you think I could send you a money order and you could mail it to me?
HER: No, I don't think that'd be a problem.
ME:: Okay, could I get your address there?
HER: It's P.O. Box 98, Roy, New Mexico, 87743.
ME:: Do the magnets have "Roy" printed on them? Any with a cactus on it?
HER: (Rummages through her magnets...) Yeah, here's one...It's got a cactus, a
     road runner and has Roy, NM printed along the bottom.
ME:: Cool, well, I'll send you the money and a little extra for postage first
     thing in the morning then!
HER: Okay, well, thank you.
    Funny, not once did she act like it was weird that I was calling to mail order something, nor did she ask me where I was calling from. Unfortunately I was making all these calls on July 4th so I wasn't able to talk to the police station. But several stores were still open and a lot of residents were home to talk to. I was able to get ahold of Travis Wood and have a few words with him:

    TRAVIS: Hello?
RBCP: Hi, I'm with the Los Angeles Daily news in California. We're just
      doing an interview to the residents of Roy, New Mexico concerning
      the recent UFO sightings over your town.
TRAV: Oh. Well, I don't know about any UFOs being sighted over the city. Have
      you had any reports of 'em?
RBCP: Oh, tons! It's all over the news and the papers over here. And also in
      New York where I've been doing some work.
TRAV: I'm not aware of very much. Of course, there's been some reports here,
      I know.
RBCP: Yes, and there was a lot around Wagon Mound, too.
TRAV: Yes, uh huh.
RBCP: Have you heard anything about this?
TRAV: Not recently, no.
RBCP: Okay, well I'll just call some other people in the book here. Thanks a
      lot for your time.

    Then I called up Herman & Helen and let Zak speak a bit on the same topic:

    HELEN: Hello?
ZAK: Is this Helen?
HLN: Yes it is.
ZAK: This is Alex from the New York times in New York City.
HLN: It's who?
ZAK: The New York Times, the newspaper in New York City...Hello?
HLN: Hello?
ZAK: Yes, I'm with the newspaper. The big one in New York City.
RBCP: New York City??
HLN: I'm not interested in it, I don't think...
ZAK: No, no, we don't deliver out there, HELL no! I'm calling about the UFO
     sightings over your town.
HLN: Well I just don't know nothing about it.
ZAK: Hmmmm, well last night there was a big UFO sighted over your town and it's
     in all the newspapers and on T.V. You didn't see anything like that?
HLN: No sir, I sure haven't.
ZAK: Well, the reports here say that they came for those neat little magnets
     with the cactus and the roadrunner on them. And they wanted to kidnap
     people named Herman. Do you know anyone named Herman?
HLN: Yes, I know someone.
ZAK: Who do you know named Herman?
HLN: I know someone named Herman, yes.
ZAK: Who is it?
HLN: It's my husband.
ZAK: Oh, you should probably hide him because, you know, the aliens might get
     him.
    It ended up that Herman was also on the phone listening in and the phone call ended kind of lamely. Our next phone call was to Bob Hicks. I had to talk to his wife about my bubble mower being stolen by two danged kids.

    ME:: Hello, is Bob home?
HER: I think he's around somewhere but not very close. Can I have him call you?
ME:: Well, this is Ross. Ross Glaze. And some kids just came over here and
     stole my ridin' mower! Have you seen 'em drivin' around your house there?
HER: No, I haven't. Who'd you say this is?
ME:: Two stupid little kids drivin' my ridin' mower all over the place. This
     is Ross Glaze, down the street, cross town, 'round the bend.
HER: Where are you from?
ME:: I'm here in Roy.
HER: Well, there hadn't been anyone around here.
ME:: Well, if you see 'em you give me a call back, okay?
HER: What's your number?
ME:: It's 2525.
HER: Okay, I will.
ME:: Thank you, bye!
    Leon Payton was a fun person to call because he wasn't home and I got to talk to his answering machine. Me, being the amazing unbelievable hacker that I am, was able to conquer his one digit passcode on his answering machine, listen to his messages, erase them and then change his greeting.

    OLD MESSAGE: "Hello. This is Leon. I am unable to answer the telephone right now, but if you will leave your name and telephone number, I will return your call."

    NEW AND IMPROVED MESSAGE: "Hello, this answering machine has been infiltrated by the Phone Losers of America. You HAVE reached the PLA headquarters in Roy, New Mexico. Leon no longer owns this machine or the house. It's all been taken over by the PLA. Unfortunately no one is here to answer your call, but if you leave your name, number and a message, we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for calling..."

    Phone Losers Of America Headline News

    Retired Switchboard Operator Recalls Listening In:

    3/26/94 broadcast news

    DANIEL ZWERDLING, Host: In the 1940's and '50's Veladie Parker worked as a switchboard operator in the small town of McGreggor in East Texas. And Parker says that like most telephone operators, she would occasionally pass time listening in on people's telephone calls.

    VELADIE PARKER: We knew everybody who was doing things they shouldn't be doing. We knew boyfriends, girlfriends, oh yes, we knew. And we talked about it among ourselves, but we didn't make gossip of it. Because you know, when I was in Waco and they trained me, Miss Mamie trained me, and she said, now, I'm going to tell you it is not against the law to listen in, but it is against the federal law to repeat it, and you know information begs to be told. Never would forget that, never will, a hundred years ago. [laughter]

    [music]

    MS. PARKER: There was a killer out, it has been a long, long time ago, and he broke out of jail and I was working on nights and he killed about six people in East Texas, I think, and he was out. I just happened to pick up a call where he was, and, boy, it hit me like that. And I pondered and pondered and pondered over it, you know. And so, I finally called the Texas Rangers and told them and, so, he was done away with pretty quick after that. That was one thing that's been on my mind all my life.

    Teen-agers and Their Families Are Victims of Telephone Chat Lines:

    [The following is a news transcript I found in the library computers and thought it was interesting. I used to really be into the chat line scene, but not in the 515 area. This article is really accurate about how people get addicted to these things...RBCP]

    Dateline NBC Friday Dec2, 1994

    BRYANT GUMBEL reporting: Good evening. It's a fact of life that kids, especially teen-agers, spend a lot of time on the phone. So it should come as no surprise that so-called 'chat lines' have become the latest craze of some young people. The lines seem innocent enough, but there is a downside. We found teen-agers who became obsessed--in one case even running away to live with strangers from the chat line. Here's Lea Thompson with part three of our DATELINE investigation. DIALING FOR DOLLAR$ [<-they think they're eleet]

    Offscreen Voice: (From telephone) What's up? You've reached the rap line.

    ALEXIS: It really gets you addicted because you want to keep calling these people.

    LEA THOMPSON reporting: (voiceover) It's a totally teen phenomenon.

    Ms. KYLE BURGER: I got hooked on it, and I kept calling it.

    Offscreen Voice: (From telephone) Welcome to the line with you in mind.

    ALEXIS: I spent almost 24 hours a day on that line.

    THOMPSON: Anyone can join this party line of the young and the restless; half a dozen can share conversation on one line. It's advertised as free but it can be very expensive and dangerous.

    ALEXIS: I never thought it would lead to this. This never crosses your mind when you pick up a phone. I mean, it's a phone. Who would know it could tear your family apart so much?

    THOMPSON: What did you talk about?

    ALEXIS: Anything. There was--you could say anything and everything.

    THOMPSON: But you talked for hours at a time?

    ALEXIS: Oh, god. I talked for days at a time!

    THOMPSON: Alexis says she got addicted to chat lines after she changed schools and started having a lot of trouble fitting in. What did the chat line do for you that you couldn't get from your friends?

    ALEXIS: I guess more acceptance, you know. I was always a very insecure person.

    THOMPSON: For Alexis, the cost of this long-distance belonging was very high, higher than anyone could imagine.

    ALEXIS: I admit I was totally hooked on that line.

    THOMPSON: Every time things heated up at home over the phone bills, the 14 year old would take off across the country to live with adults, men and women she'd met on the chat line.

    ALEXIS: There was, ranging from 19 years old to--I think the oldest I was with was twenty-five.

    THOMPSON: And she did it not once or twice but six times. You just blindly went off and met these people without a second thought?

    ALEXIS: Oh yeah, no thought at all. It was just, you know, I'm getting away from my problems. I'm--it's always in the TV or newspapers that yes, you know, this person's been raped and killed or so and so; but it never occurred to me that it could actually happen to me.

    THOMPSON: But it occurred to her father, Bill, who was desperately trying to find her.

    BILL: Yes, we were worried every time she was gone.

    THOMPSON: And Alexis had run up more than $4,000 in long distance bills. When her father couldn't pay, the phone was disconnected. But that isn't supposed to happen. Two years ago, Congress wrote a law to protect families from phone nightmares like this. The law says that services like chat lines are supposed to be on 900 numbers, numbers parents can have blocked. It says you can dispute a 900-call charge without being disconnected. To get around the law, chat lines have moved their services onto regular long-distance lines, and that strips parents of the power to protect themselves and their kids. As a result, Bill had no recourse when Pacific Bell disconnected his service, and he was reduced to calling Alexis' chat-line friends to try to find her.

    Offscreen Voice: (from telephone) A place to talk to girls and guys from all over the hood...

    BILL: We spent hours at pay phones calling people on the chat line.

    THOMPSON: It worked and he brought her home. But then he almost lost her for good. Alexis says her life was a disaster, and the bills and the anger and the guilt were too much.

    ALEXIS: And I attempted suicide and ended up in intensive care on my birthday. And that was, like, one of the worst times in my life.

    BILL: It's been a pure hell. Nothing mattered to her as much as being on the phone.

    Offscreen Voice: (from telephone) Hey, everyone, thanks for calling. You've reached the most raging party line in the country.

    THOMPSON: Seventeen-year-old Kyle Burger was also lured into the chat-line scene, much to the dismay of her mother.

    Ms. MARY BURGER: It makes me angry because the kids don't know any better.

    KYLE BURGER: My friend gave me the phone number. That because my new set of friends.

    THOMPSON: Mary Burger says kids often get started after reading the dozens of chat-line adds in magazines like Rolling Stone or Spin. The ads say it is 'hip' and 'hot' and 'sexy' and 'free'--free.

    THOMPSON: Did you think it was free?

    KYLE BURGER: The introduction to the party line was misleading.

    THOMPSON: With her mother's permission, Kyle showed us how to get to her favorite chat line. It's a 515 area code.

    Offscreen Voice: (from telephone) This is...(unintelligible)...the one and only, your personal connection to the hottest free party lines around.

    THOMPSON: It said 'free.'

    KYLE BURGER: It did.

    THOMPSON: Do you believe you were doing enough to try to cut her off?

    Ms. MARY BURGER: I was locking up the telephones. I would lock them in the trunk of my car. And you have to understand, too, that by the time I had my first bill, we were halfway into another billing cycle, so, you know, probably $3-$400 worth of charges already in place before I found out about it for the very first time.

    THOMPSON: Mary also found out that Kyle was hearing more that just idle chat on these lines.

    KYLE BURGER: Hello? Do I have any daughters? No.

    THOMPSON: When we heard the man on the other end of this call tell Kyle he was watching a child porn film, we cut it off. Kyle's mother went on a crusade to track down who was behind all of this. It turned out to be a complicated trail, full of surprises. You might think her search would take her to Las Vagas, New York, LA, but that 515 area code on her telephone bills led her to this small town of Jefferson, Iowa. It's become the unlikely crossroads for hundreds of chat and sex lines. This area may be known as the home of corn and cattle, but now chat lines are a major cash crop. According to public records, in the two years since the small Jefferson Telephone Company hooked up with the chat and sex line operator, its profits have jumped from $352,000 a year to $2,216,000 a year.

    BILL: It's amazing. I mean, obviously they've latched on a gold mine.

    THOMPSON: The Jefferson Telephone Company first told us it had severed its relationship with the company that actually programs the chat lines. Jefferson Telephone refused to be interviewed on camera, but in a letter to Dateline said, 'because some people find parts of the programming objectionable, we did the right thing in terminating the contract.' But Kyle Burger had no trouble getting Jefferson's 515 party line. Jefferson admits the contract with the company requires it to keep the lines open for up to one year after giving notice. And who is that contract with?

    Ms. MARY BURGER: His name's Ian Eisenberg.

    THOMPSON: When Mary Burger complained to the Jefferson Telephone Company, she was sent to Ian and Joel Eisenberg.

    Ms. MARY BURGER: And I said, 'I'm not going to go away. I want you to know that I'm going to be your worst nightmare.'

    THOMPSON: The man in the Rolls Royce is Joel Eisenberg. Eisenberg's business took in more than $63 million a year, according to documents filed in court in 1991 by the IRS. He then was running 72 separate corporations, almost all in the phone-entertainment business. Eisenberg gained national attention in the late '80s when he ran a TV ad encouraging kids to call Santa Claus on a 900 pay line. It instructed children to hold up the phone to the TV. Then the commercial played the telephone tones and the call was automatically connected.

    The IRS has investigated whather Joel Eisenberg underreported his income. The agency raided his Seattle offices in 1991. No charges have been filed. Mean- while, the elder Eisenberg has passed the chat-line business off to his son, Ian. We wanted to talk to Joel and Ian Eisenberg. They wouldn't respond to our request for an interview, so we tried in person.

    (Thompson waiting by car as man leaves car)

    THOMPSON: Mr. Eisenberg?

    JOEL EISENBERG: Yes.

    THOMPSON: How do you do? I'm Lea Thompson from DATELINE NBC.

    JOEL EISENBERG: Hi. How are you?

    THOMPSON: I wonder if I could talk to you a little bit about your business.

    JOEL EISENBERG: I'm afraid not.

    THOMPSON: (seconds later, Ian showed up for work) Are you Mr. Eisenberg?

    IAN EISENBERG: You are?

    THOMPSON: Lea Thompson from DATELINE NBC. I wonder if I could talk to you a little bit about you and your father's business. We'd like to talk to you about the chat lines. People say that you're running ads that say the chat lines are free, and then they get these huge bills, and they want to know how you can call your chat lines 'free'?

    While Ian Eisenberg didn't answer, industry insiders say the chat is free because you only pay the long-distance charges. So how do people like the Eisenbergs make so much money? Well, Jefferson Telephone says it gives the Eisenbergs a cut of what it collects. We went to the Federal Communications Commission to ask if it was legal for a phone company to do that. Now the FCC is asking questions, too.

    KATHLEEN WALLMAN (FCC): We've commenced an investigation of the Jefferson Company, including an audit of its books, and that compensation arrangement is one of the things we're looking at.

    THOMPSON: People like Mary Burger never heard about chat lines until eight months ago. Now she says they represent expense and exploitation that never seems to end.

    MARY BURGER: I felt victimized by the Ian Eisenbergs of the world, and I felt victimized by the phone companies, and I felt victimized by my own daughter.

    THOMPSON: What did it do to your family?

    MARY BURGER: It made enemies out of us. I'm sorry.

    THOMPSON: It tore your family apart.

    MARY BURGER: It put my daughter in touch with people that--that I felt weren't good for her. It brought a lot of hatred and animosity into my home. It's not been easy to deal with.

    GUMBEL: If you feel that your child is spending too much time on chat lines, try calling your local phone company. They can't help too much, but there are a few that will block the number for you.

    Become A PLA Distribution Site Today!:
    Below is the current list of listed Phone Loser distribution sites. If you'd like to become a PLA distribution site or already carry the PLA files on your board, fill out the application form attached below. (Especially if your area code isn't in the below list.) Please note that some of these boards aren't "offical" sites, but just boards that happen to carry our files on them.

    206-859-9469 Dark Side of the Moon.........................Seattle, Washington
208-466-1679 King's Domain........................................Nampa, Idaho
301-884-5012 Studio 54................................Mechanicsville, Maryland
303-343-4053 Hacker's Haven...................................Aurora, Colorado
303-932-1195 Twenty Miles North of Nowhere............................Colorado
312-528-5020 Ripco...........................................Chicago, Illinois
319-234-3654 UnderDark..........................................Waterloo, Iowa
360-297-4049 The Coven................................ ...Kingston, Washington
405-341-9361 Phreaks of the Industry...................Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
405-720-1666 Dissident.................................Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
503-636-3855 The Bin..........................................Portland, Oregon
510-743-0603 Terminal Drift...............................East Bay, California
512-458-3409 The Sprawl..........................................Austin, Texas
512-790-8989 Aurora Magellan...................................Rockport, Texas
512-851-8317 Sonic Youth Systems.........................Corpus Christi, Texas
512-883-7543 Whombat Communications...(RBCP's Lame BBS)..Corpus Christi, Texas
514-725-0189 Sillicon Underground.............................Montreal, Quebec
616-373-5885 Larcenist's Keep..............................Kalamazoo, Michigan
618-797-2339 Roy's Place (PLA Original WHQ).............Granite City, Illinois
619-451-2174,,11,11 Sea of Green.........................San Diego, California
703-362-9629 The Other Side of Reality................................Virginia
717-788-7435 Cyber-Sphincter...............................Drums, Pennsylvania
810-348-0421 Daddy Hill House.............................Northville, Michigan
907-780-6760 Syenergy...........................................Juneau, Alaska

    Application To Be A Phone Loser Distribution Site

    So, you'd like to be one of the "official" distribution sites for the Fone Losers of America? Why?? You know, when everybody finds out that you're pathetic enough to carry PLA on your system they're all just going to laugh at you and make fun of you and have your home phone turned into a pay phone but if you really, really insist, here's the application...

    Really, there's no application about it. Anyone who wants to can become a distribution site, all you have to do is apply. What do you get out of it? Well, you get put on the Distribution List. Other than that, nothing really special happens to you and you still won't have any friends, you'll just have a bunch of crappy files on your hard drive.

    PLApplication

    Name of Your BBS:________________________________________________________

    Podunk Town & State You Live In:_________________________________________

    Telephone Number(s):_____________________________________________________

    Your Handle:_____________________________________________________________

    Internet Address:________________________________________________________

    How Long Has Your BBS Existed?_____________Cactus?_______________________

    Alternative Means of Contacting You:_____________________________________

    _________________________________________________________________________

    Here's how it works: Send this form back to the PLA and you'll be added to the distribution list. You can send this back via internet or by calling one of the PLA Systems, listed at the end of this file. If for some reason you can't contact us in e-mail, you can leave a voice request on the PLA voicemail box. If all else fails, U.S. mail will be fine.

    If you have an e-mail account, you'll get the issues within 24 hours of their release. If you call one of the PLA Data Lines, you can also get it pretty quick. If you absolutely can not call long distance, let us know and we'll call your system and upload the files periodically. Keep in mind, if you're unable to call long distance for free, we'll be making fun of you behind your back all the time, but we'll still be nice enough to upload the issues to you, maybe. (Especially if it's a board I frequent.)

    RULES AND REGURLASHINS:

  • You have to designate a section in your files area that is only for PLA texts, graphics, etc.
  • Every user, no matter how lame he is or how much you despise him or even if he used the PLA hacking technique on your BBS, must have access to the PLA section of your system.
  • If any member of the PLA is to log on to your board, you must give him full & complete access, which includes, but is not limited to access to all of your text files, all your illegal warez, utilities, your Telix .FON directory with your bbs list and passwords, your personal Doogie Howser diary, personal mail, word processing files, financial records, etc, etc, etc...
  • If a PLA member continues to call your bbs, you must start sending him/her lots of money in the mail and telling everyone how cool he/she is.

    Well, that's about it. If you really think I'm going to try and enforce any of these rules, you're on drugs. This is just what I prefer. I mean, it's not like PLA contains any kind of valuable information to the point of you needing to only let the elite users have access to it. So, mail off this application ASAP and you're on your way to fame and fortune.

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