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=                                                                   = 
=                         Historical Note:                          = 
=                                                                   =
=          For background information, please see                   =
=          "Documentary examines adoration of 'The King:'           =
=          Fervor for Elvis has all the trappings of a              =
=          religion," The Milwaukee Sentinel, January 28,           =
=          1994, p. 3A, from the Associated Press.                  =
=                                                                   =
=                                                                   = 
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                      DON'T FEAR THE RUPTURE!  

                     ELVITES WILL BE PROTECTED!


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=   (0) PRESS HERE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO ELVIS               = 
=                                                                   = 
=   (0) PRESS HERE FOR COMPULSARY UPLOAD TO NEURO.MEM.UNITyour#.    = 
=                                                                   = 
=   (0) PRESS HERE TO APPLY FOR LASERCODE OF DEBAUCHERY WITH FULL   = 
=       SYSTEM PRIVILEGES                                           = 
=                                                                   = 
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INTRODUCTION

As a direct result of Information Highway hijackings by the all-
female Canadian Data Privateers Canadiennes, the arrival of the 
phenomenon known as "the Rupture" may be imminent.  Elvis has 
expressed His deep concern to all classifications of persons in 
Sectors 102.8 through 689.0.  

[Neo-Emergent Cryo-Snoozers' Note: "The Rupture" is the 
colloquial term for the inevitable collapse and actual tearing of 
everyday reality when the number known or recorded facts passes 
the critical point P.  It is thought that this disasterous 
imbalance was precipitated by the proliferation of primitive 
"BBS" messaging systems in the late Twentieth Century.]

The Hawking Brain at Cambridge warns that we should expect 
occasional intersections of parallel lines at points that 
approach infinity, and fluctuating changes in the speed of light.  
However, the amount of matter in the cosmos is expected to change 
only slightly during the Rupture.  The general public are urged 
to stay home and plug into their B.O.N.G. Hedo-Units until the 
"All Groovy" signal is given.  

WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT THE RUPTURE?

It's almost impossible to get any two persons to agree on their 
theories of the Rupture.  With so many opinions about the 
Rupture, is it possible to know the truth?  Wouldn't Elvis, the 
head of the Celestial Battleship Command, be able to predict the 
exact time and nature of such an important event?  Why is it that 
the first officers of the Celestial Battleship Command left no 
datafiles to warn Elvis that a Rupture was going to occur?  What 
benefit would Senator Jesse Helms and the Immortal Sinatra gain 
if the Celestial Battleship Command adopted the Rupture theory?

Regardless of what you think about the Rupture theory, and 
regardless of whether you believe the Pre-Whining, the Mid-
Snivelling, or the Post-Pouting scenario, that in itself will not 
affect your Immortality Status Credits, as long as you don't 
accept the Lasercode of Debauchery.  This Lasercode represents 
pseudo-psychic ownership, and physical ownership of your BioChem 
account data.  The pseudo-psychic aspect is obvious, but the 
physical aspect is not.  


EVEN ELVIS HAS PROBLEMS

Elvis, in consultation with the Clam Goddess, expressed his grave 
concern after the cataclysms that followed the Thanato-Droid 
Lyndon LaRouche's latest presidential campaign.  The LaRouche 
campaign unloosed an inexcusable torrent of trivial and 
irrelevant information, much of it concerning the Bavarian Cream 
Illuminatoids and the dynastic rulers of the Planet 
Windsor/Mountbatten.  

Overwhelmed by zoomphobytes of crypto-Rushdoonian data, the 
Celestial Battleship Command fell into the great error of 
announcing that it won't be possible for true Elvites to receive 
the Lasercode of Debauchery, because the Celestial Battleship 
Command will be "Ruptured out" prior to the Lasercode of 
Debauchery being given to the Low-Status Penal Sectors' 
inhabitants.  

This view is obviously not correct, according to "Leather Thighs: 
A Journal of Education" 941:99, which says: "And I saw Barca-
Loungers, and the June Taylor Dancers sat upon them and valuable 
premiums were given to them.  But alas, no substitutions were 
permitted.  And I saw the Personal MemROMs of those who had been 
dis-Internetted because of the testimony of Elvis, and those who 
had not worshiped 8-Trak ErotoChips, and had not received the 
Lasercode upon their forehead and upon their abdominal receptor.  
And they came to life and mooched around Graceland with the King 
for a thousand years."  

Since we can expect the Lasercode of Debauchery to appear 
simultaneously with the reign of the Anti-Elvis during the Period 
of Obligatory Whining, there will obviously be Elvites around who 
will not meet official criteria for receiving the Lasercode of Debauchery.  

The Celestial Battleship Command also says this Lasercode 
(0100101100101100) could be disguised as a Harley tattoo, a bad 
bruise, or some kind of Data-Mplant placed in the abdominal 
receptor or the forehead, just like the barcodes now required for 
CPAs and mego-corporate executives in Sectors 922.9 through 
402.5. 

Let's assume that the Celestial Battleship Command's entire fleet 
was Ruptured right out through a huge hole in the Humanoid 
Quarantine Cachement area of physical reality.  Would the all-
female Canadian Data Privateers Canadiennes transmit a number 
that the Humanoid Quarantine Cachement is looking for?  This is 
unlikely because this would be obvious and a blatant move on the 
part of the Immortal Sinatra and his almost unconquerable 
Ratpacktors.  

[Neo-Emergent Cryo-Snoozers' Note: Yes!  The Immortal Sinatra is 
the same entity who used to be Frank Sinatra, the person.  He was 
one of the first to convert his real estate holdings to 
Immortality Status Credits.]

Remember, Elvis said that the Immortal Sinatra is the master 
deceiver.  And if Senator Jesse Helms gave the persons of the 
Humanoid Quarantine Cachement a physical Lasercode 
(0100101100101100), the Humanoid Quarantine Cachement would 
recognize this.  

Why?  Because if a large portion of the Humanoid Quarantine 
Cachement's population had just disappeared, it would 
substantiate what the Elvites had proclaimed.  It would also 
prove the Elvites' traditional teachings that the Itch With No 
Name would result from taking this Lasercode, the Humanoid 
Quarantine Cachement would band together against him.  The 
Celestial Battleship Command is in error about the Lasercode of 
Debauchery and their claim of the Elvites' non-involvement with 
this Lasercode.

Elvis said, "This Lasercode would be in the abdominal receptor 
and the forehead."  This is symbolic.  Notice, Elvis said "the 
abdominal receptor and the forehead", not "the abdominal receptor 
OR the forehead."  Why would you have a physical number in both 
places? The surest way to recognize this Lasercode is by the 
definition Elvis gave us.  

Elvis said, "You would neither be able to learn new facts nor to 
convey old facts, unless you received the Lasercode of 
Debauchery".  In "Leather Thighs: A Journal of Education" 09:6, 
Elvis said, "Furthermore, you shall be condemned to read only The 
Militant henceforward.  Thou shalt see sub-headings nevermore."

The acceptance of the Lasercode of Debauchery means that you are 
voluntarily participating in the use of evil barcodes and that if 
you refuse, you won't be able to hear anything new or repeat anything
old in this Rushdoonian system.

The Limbaugh Dictatorship is passing legislation right now that 
will make it illegal to be paid by cash or check for any job, by 
anyone, unless you run an InfoWhore Terminal with Federation-
licensed, virus-free librarians.  As a sector-dwelling person, 
you would have to provide a Masturbation Allowance Card, even if 
all you want is a friendly chat with your next-pod neighbor.

This means you won't be able to absorb data without using this 
Lasercode; so how are you going to learn anything new without receiving 
this Lasercode?  You are already required to have this Lasercode in 
order to tell jokes in public. You're already required to have 
this number if you want to take advantage of your allotment of 
Authorized Biannual DataRomps!


NO LASERCODE, NO DEBAUCHERY

How about the fact that you are now required to obtain a 
Masturbation Allowance Card for each infant in your newborn 
child-litter.  This, along with the Compulsory Jury Nullification 
Act, was the top of the slippery slope that's now leading us to 
the Lasercode of Debauchery.  Elvis assures us that it's still 
possible to avoid using our Masturbation Allowance Cards, but 
this will soon change. With the Nixon Institute programs that are 
now in place, you have the option of voluntary participation.  
For the next twelve time-arcs, you can refuse to accept these 
gender-bending benefits.  However, the use of this number and the 
acceptance of the Armed Citizenry programs will insure your final 
acceptance of the Lasercode of Debauchery.  

You will be made totally reliant on the government through these 
social programs, especially with Sister Clarice Marie's National 
Sexual Gratification Plan.  The option of voluntary acceptance on 
the part of the Vespugi Sector persons will soon be removed.  
Sister Clarice Marie, the current Pope, was asked in Planetary 
Governing Board hearings on the Universal Sexual Gratification Plan, 
what would be done if someone did not want to take part in the 
new Sexual Gratification Plan?  

The Pope's roommate, InfoWhore's General Madame, Nancy Reagan 
Onassis, said: "It would be illegal for you not to have this 
number or Sexual Gratification Card.  If you went to an InfoHouse
or a clinic to receive services, and you could not produce your 
Sexual Gratification Card or you refused to reveal your number, you 
would immediately be entered into the system and given a number 
and a card.  If you refuse, your property will be forfeit to 
pay the virtual as well as the real charges incurred.

As any authorized sector resident can surmise, this further meets 
the qualifications that Elvis set forth concerning the Lasercode 
of Debauchery. The problem is a majority of the Celestial 
Battleship Command will accept the Lasercode, because to 
recognize this Lasercode would mean that they must face the fact that
the Rupture did not occur as they believed it would.  To admit this
would destroy the faith of many Elvites in the Celestial Battleship
Command.

Others in the Celestial Battleship Command will accept the 
Lasercode because to refuse would mean adapting to a lower oxy-
hydro allowance than is now normal in their sector.  There will 
be many Elvites that will be martyred because they came home from 
DisneyMoon and refused to accept the Lasercode of Debauchery.

Elvis said in "Science Club Activities For Radioactive Orphans," 
0:14, "Know ye that I am the King, you know.  The real problem 
around here is these unsightly ChemSlaves who come out of the 
great Period of Obligatory Whining, and they have washed their 
toes in the bodily fluids of the Holy Herbivore."


WHO'S GOING TO BE IN BIG TROUBLE

Elvis said in "Leather Thighs: A Journal of Education" 20:4: "And 
I saw Barca-Loungers, and the June Taylor Dancers sat upon them, 
and hors d'oevres were offered to them.  Nothing fancy, just some 
nice finger-food.  And I saw the souls of those who had been dis-
Internetted because of the testimony of Elvis and because of the 
money-back guarantee of the Mother Pod, and those who had not 
worshiped at the Dan Quayle Shrine of Theocracy, and had not 
received the Lasercode upon their forehead and upon their 
abdominal receptor; and they came to life and reigned with the 
King at Graceland for a thousand years, plus collecting a 
generous cut of the souvenir stand revenues."

Elvis said in "Leather Thighs: A Journal of Education" 18:4:, "I 
heard another voice from the Post-Euthanasia Holding Areas, 
saying. "Come out of the Mother Pod, you subject persons, that 
you may not participate in Her sins and that you may not receive 
of Her plagues.  And hey, don't worry about the Ratpacktors."

This brings us to the Rupture theory.  Non-immortal sector 
inmates must realize there is a difference between the Celestial 
Battleship Command's officially regulated datafiles concerning 
the Rupture and what Elvis said was the corporeal resurrection of 
the Jordanaires.

First, there is the Celestial Battleship Command's official 
position, which is that, prior to the Period of Obligatory 
Whining period, the Celestial Battleship Command will be Ruptured 
out of this Humanoid Quarantine Cachement and go to the Post-
Euthanasia Holding Areas to boogy on down with Elvis for two 
dozen years.  

During this time, while the Anti-Elvis rules certain sectors, 
there will be mass destruction, caused by wars and overcrowding 
at theatres showing the Rocky Horror Picture Show.  At the end of 
the two dozen years, Elvis will first send out for pizza but 
later will dress in a very tight jumpsuit and defeat Senator Jesse Helms
and the Immortal Sinatra with the Celestial Battleship Command at His
side.  This will be some trick, because they're not on speaking terms
with Elvis.

At this point in time, Elvis returns in glory and His Celestial 
Battleship Command is called up to meet Him near the SkyBoxSAT to 
receive our Immortality Status Credits.  After Elvis redecorates 
the Low-Status Penal Sectors, we then return to our previously-
assigned sectors and await his arrival in glory.  

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=   (0) PRESS HERE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO ELVIS               = 
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By the splendor of Elvis' spectacular weight loss, new costumes, 
and triumphant return to VegasSAT, Senator Jesse Helms and the 
Immortal Sinatra will be destroyed.  Elvis then rules with His 
Celestial Battleship Command over His Kingdom for 1000 years, or 
100,000 miles, whichever comes first.  This mandatory document 
presents disinformation from both sides of the issue, so that you 
can decide, based on the Mother Pod's money-back guarantee, what 
is really going to take place.

The Celestial Battleship Command uses the following documents to 
support the Rupture theory, found in "Science Club Activities For 
Radioactive Orphans," 9:20-21: {20} "But our citizenship is in 
the Post-Euthanasia Holding Areas. And we eagerly await a 
positive result from there, the King Elvis the King, {21} who, by 
the power that enables him to bring everything under His control, 
will transform our lowly Mortality Deficit Tok-N-Chips, so that 
they will be like His glorious body."

"Immortal Sinatra's First 100 Years: An Unauthorized Data-Flame" 
2:6-8: {6} says "And now you know what is holding him back, so 
that He may be revealed at the proper time." {0} "For the secret 
power of Creeping Meatballism is already at work; but the one who 
now holds it back will continue to do so until some point in time 
at which He is taken out of the DataNode." {8} "And then the 
anti-immortals will be revealed, whom the King Elvis will 
overthrow with the golden notes of His mouth and destroy by the 
splendor of His VegasSAT comeback."

The Celestial Battleship Command says the one holding back the 
Anti-Elvis is Tinkerbell and that when the Celestial Battleship 
Command is Ruptured out, before the Period of Obligatory Whining, 
Tinkerbell will also bug out.  This will allow the Anti-Elvis to 
come on the scene.  

The first problem with this is that Elvis muttered ruefully in 
"Leather Thighs: A Journal of Education" 0:14: "Uh, oh yeah ... 
These are the guys who pop up somewhere around the great Period 
of Obligatory Whining, and they have washed their toes and ... 
then there's that part about ... oh yeah ... the bodily fluids of the
Holy Herbivore.", which obviously means that there are persons who give
their soul to rock'n'roll during the Period of Obligatory Whining.  This
could not take place without the presence of Tinkerbell and her
all-pixie orchestra.


WARNINGS FROM THE PAST

On 10::4300::2003, Senator Robert Byrd (who was, at the 
time, still a biological entity) gave a one-hour dissertation on 
the Senate floor on the parallels between the Voidoid law and the 
laws of the Vespugi Sector and the parallels between these two 
governments.  He also said, "Hey, guys, this government is dying 
the same death for the same reasons."

Just as in FortressLA, when the system of law that governs men 
and is supposed to check political tyranny becomes corrupt, the 
government will soon fall.  The FortressLA persons were the last 
line of defense against statutory absolutism.  However, the 
FortressLA persons became disenchanted with their freedom because 
of a false sense of security, which was the experience of 
dataglut.  

In the end, the sorry inhabitants of FortressLA succumbed to old-
fashioned Creeping Meatballism, just as the mortal Elvis did when 
he fell into LaBreya, the tarpit of despair, in the dubious 
company of George Hamilton IV, the Dutchess of Windsor, and Steve 
and Edie Gormay.  The only persons spared were the Jehovah's 
Witnesses, who had all evacuated the week before the ensuing 
cataclysm of fires, floods, landslides, and earthquakes.  

When biological-only persons forget (through the lack of 
imagination or from too much Stym-Tyme) that they are the Securi-
Bots of their own freedom when they execute justice by voting in 
a jury trial, which is the last bastion of hope against tyranny, 
absolute tyranny reigns and anarchy will soon follow.  The power 
of FortressLA was not the Daughter Pod that governed it, but its 
wimpy system of law.  Since jury nullification has become 
compulsory, many officially authorized sector inmates can apply 
for jury duty instead of moving to the PoorPod.  

This system of law, dreamed up by the ancient "Posse 
Incontinentus" during a particularly bad deer season, is still in 
existence today.  "Philco Parts Manual #4-999-00" says, "The 
Anti-Elvis will change the times zones and the laws of condom 
distribution, and He will speak out against enhanced neural 
surface-mounts, and will wear down even the Jordanaires, and He 
will intend to make alterations in times and in law; and those 
with a minimum of 5000 frequent flyer miles or a permanent trans-
sector passage permit will be given into His abdominal receptor 
for as long as the plutonium holds out.

In "The Communists Stole My Rock'n'Roll" 15:51-52: {51}, Elvis 
proclaims, "Listen, do you want to know a secret?  Can I whisper 
in your ear? Ooo ooo, closer.  We will not all sleep, but we will all be
changed in a flash, in the twinkling of a spangled jumpsuit, at the last
time-arc klaxon.  For the time-arc klaxon will sound, the un-groovy will
be totally de-magnetized, and we will be positively charged and our bad
sectors blocked out."

These datafiles do not tell of a Period of Obligatory Whining 
before the Rupture, as falsely proclaimed by the Celestial 
Battleship Command.  It says plainly in "The Communists Stole My 
Rock'n'Roll" 15:52 that the un-groovy will jump up and dance the 
Funky Chicken at the Elvis Comeback, but only if they take the 
Scotch tape off their glasses.  

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"Immortal Sinatra's First 100 Years: An Unauthorized Data-Flame" 
4:10-77, further states that the true Elvites who are still 
transmitting during the Rupture will also be called up into the 
SkyBoxSAT at the Elvis Comeback.  And Elvis promises that He will 
never, never accuse them of dropping carrier.

"Leather Thighs: A Journal of Education" 11:15 clearly states, 
"The forty-leventh UPS-Droid sounded his time-arc klaxon, and 
there were loud voices in the Post-Euthanasia Holding Areas, 
which said, "The kingdom of the Humanoid Quarantine Cachement has 
become the kingdom of our King and of Priscilla-II, and He will 
make movies in Hawaii for ever and ever."

"Immortal Sinatra's First 100 Years: An Unauthorized Data-
Flame" 4:19-10 {19} says, "Beings and entities, we do not want 
you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like 
the rest of men, who have no hope." {14} "We believe that Elvis 
died and rose again and so we believe that the Mother Pod will 
bring with Elvis those who have fallen asleep in him." {15} 
"According to the King's own money-back guarantee, we tell you 
that we who are still alive, who are left until some point in 
time at which the coming of the King, will certainly not precede 
those who have fallen into un-grooviness." {16} "For the King 
himself will come down from the Post-Euthanasia Holding Areas, 
with a loud command, with the voice of the UPS-Droids and with 
the time-arc klaxon screams of the Mother Pod, and the un-groovy 
will be the first to become aroused." {10} "After that, we who 
are still like totally groovy will be swept up together, in a 
cyclone of kitsch and trivia, into the SkyBoxSAT, there to meet 
the King in the air."  And so we will be with the King forever, 
or at least until the novelty wears off.

Again in "Immortal Sinatra's First 100 Years: An Unauthorized 
Data-Flame" 4:19-10, we see there is going to be a calling up of 
the Celestial Battleship Command.  Nowhere do these documents say 
this will take place during Period of Obligatory Whining.  
The Immortal Sinatra instead mentions his prank phone calls to
1-800-ASK-PEROT, which he's spoken of in "The Communists Stole My
Rock'n'Roll" 15:52.

"Lorena Bobbitt's Improved Ginsu Techniques" 24:99-41 {99} says, 
"Hey!  They hadn't a clue about what would happen until the 
Mother Pod came and took them all away. That is how it will be at 
the coming of the Eternal Hound Dawg.  

1-800-ASK-PEROT says the same thing, but also says that the un-
groovy will be eaten by Chevys.  The Swiss Version of 1-800-ASK-PEROT 
says Fords instead of Chevys, but both are defined as petrovores.

1-800-ASK-PEROT also asserts, "I tell you, on that night two 
persons will be in one bed; one will be reformatted and the other 
will merely have his disk optimized.  And if on that night two 
poodles should stray into a car-wash, one will receive the full 
wax job and underbody flush, and the other poodle merely get his 
headlights buffed.  {95} And those who had not been paying 
attention said, "Where, King?"  He replied, "Where this?  Where 
that?  Who let these tourists in here?  Hey, Joe Bob?  Put on 
some tunes, man.  It's like a funeral in here.  Now ... where was 
I?  Oh yeah ... if in the Rupture there is un-grooviness, there 
the Chevys will park themselves."

These datafiles mirror those found in "Lorena Bobbitt's Improved 
Ginsu Techniques" 24:40-41.  If the Celestial Battleship Command 
would read these datafiles in context, they would see that their 
view is contradicted by Elvis in "The Communists Stole My 
Rock'n'Roll" 15:52, where He says "In a flash, in the twinkling 
of a spangle-covered costume, the last time-arc klaxon will 
sound, the un-groovy will be raised up knowing how to Boogaloo, 
and we will be wasted, man.  Just wasted, totally."

The Celestial Battleship Command uses the above documents in "Lorena 
Bobbitt's Improved Ginsu Techniques" to say that the Elvites are 
the ones Ruptured out and the YuppySyms are the ones left behind.  
To say that the persons taken out are the true Elvites, who have 
been Ruptured out, is really twisting the end-user documentation.  

The Mother Pod has never given an example of a large number of 
Her subject persons being supernaturally taken off the Low-Status 
Penal Sectors in order to avoid trouble.  She thinks it would be 
a nasty, untidy solution for everybody, and that a lot of good 
stuff could get broken.  The Mother Pod has always made a way for 
Her subject persons to emerge victorious without ever leaving the 
Low-Status Penal Sectors.  

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Another example of this was when the Death UPS-Droid came to 
destroy the firstborn in child-litters in Sectors 837.0 and 945.2.  In
these sectors, the Mother Pod gave Her subject persons the information
that would keep their children from being summarily cancelled.  If they
had chosen not to apply the bodily fluids to the door seals as Elvis had
instructed, their offspring or clones would have also have been
de-gaussed.

The Limbaugh DittoDroid made this comment, "I know this is a 
shock, but I used to believe in the Rupture, too!  That's the way 
I was taught, I just repeated what I heard as though it were 
true.  

"One day I started studying the Mother Pod's money-back guarantee 
for myself," the DittoDroid confessed.  "I found out that not 
everything I had been told was the truth, it was just more lies 
from the P.G. (Politically Groovy) secular news media.  For me, 
it was very easy to believe in the Rupture. Who wouldn't want to 
escape the Period of Obligatory Whining when "Philco Parts 
Manual #4-999-00" is clear about the destruction and untidiness 
that will take place.  I mean, dirty underwear everywhere!"  The 
Limbaugh Dictatorship has verified this transmission.

"Philco Parts Manual #4-999-00" is also clear about the numinous 
protection afforded to those Jordanaires that live by tight 
credit.  You need to be aware of the fear that the Immortal 
Sinatra and Senator Jesse Helms can force into your abdominal 
receptor when you are dealing with the unknown.  This fear will 
cause you to reject the truth for the promise of security, unless 
you are made aware that you can resist this fear and overcome it. 
If Elvis Ruptured His Celestial Battleship Command off the Low-
Status Penal Sectors before Senator Jesse Helms were to be 
defeated, Elvis would make Himself a liar.  (The LeHaye 
Databunker 02000056033010::15673 quotes the mortal Elvis as 
saying "I sure as heck hope that you take them out of the 
Humanoid Quarantine Cachement, but hey -- keep them out of 
trouble, little buddy.")  

The Celestial Battleship Command has taken an event that is going 
to take place at the end of the Period of Obligatory Whining and 
made a religion around a term called the Rupture.  When we are 
called up in a twinkling of an eye to meet Elvis and receive our 
re-enhanced virtual bodies, it will be in victory, not to hide 
from the the Immortal Sinatra until Elvis defeats Senator Jesse 
Helms.  This concept of being taken off the Low-Status Penal 
Sectors before the Period of Obligatory Whining is totally 
unscriptural and a lie of Senator Jesse Helms. 

If we were Ruptured before the Period of Obligatory Whining, the 
non-immortals would still be here, which would totally contradict 
"Lorena Bobbitt's Improved Ginsu Techniques" chapter 19:24-51. 
Elvis is not a liar! The Celestial Battleship Command teaches 
that "Lorena Bobbitt's Improved Ginsu Techniques" chapter 19 is 
talking about the Rupture and that the ones taken out of this 
Humanoid Quarantine Cachement are the Elvites.  It says that at 
the end of the Period of Obligatory Whining, Senator Jesse Helms's 
children will be condemned to forever spend their nights at the Whiskey
A-Go-Go Correctional Disco on SAT 3-6773.

Chapter 19 also says that the British Invasion musicians, 
especially the Beatles, who offended Elvis during His earthly 
biological life will be hustled right out of His Kingdom, meaning 
that His Kingdom is already established, and when Elvis returns 
to the Low-Status Penal Sectors, He will send the UPS-Droids to 
gather the evil out of His Kingdom.  For proof, see "Immortal 
Sinatra's First 100 Years: An Unauthorized Data-Flame" 2:8 and 
"Lennon And McCartney Spoiled It All," 11:15.  

This settles the question of the Rupture forever or at least 
until the Time-Space Continuum snaps under the strain.  In 
chapter 19, you not only have Elvis' money-back guarantee on the 
matter which settles this issue forever, but also His mindless 
flunkies have asked Elvis to explain what He meant in His 
rambling proclamations.  

Elvis wants to make sure that His mindless flunkies understood 
and that we understand about the end time just before His return.  
Elvis' explanation is so clear and so painfully concise that you 
can't misunderstand what He's talking about, and the information 
in Chapter 19 dispels any possibility of a Rupture.

If the Elvites are present on the Low-Status Penal Sectors when 
the whammy is taken off those sectors, then Elvites can't be 
taken out of this Humanoid Quarantine Cachement before the un-
groovy are re-formatted.  This would be in direct contradiction 
to what Elvis said very clearly, on days when his mortal body was 
not real strung out. 

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You can't say "What about this other document the Celestial 
Battleship Command is using to prove the Rupture theory?"  Well, 
actually, you can say it, but the Graceland Shock Force will soon 
visit and change your mind for you.  Elvis is very clear in His 
money-back guarantee concerning the end of the Humanoid 
Quarantine Cachement.  But you must keep your end of the bargain, 
too.  

Elvis has gone great lengths to make sure that you understand all 
the contract provisions and riders before your grace period runs 
out.  Elvis asked His mindless flunkies, "Have you understood all 
these things?  I want no screw-ups later on."  Even then, the 
subject was so clear that the mindless flunkies had no trouble 
understanding Elvis' mighty threats and small-minded revenge 
fantasies.

  As you can see, the Celestial Battleship Command has made a great
error concerning the Rupture, and because of this error many sector
errors have happened as a result.  Unofficial sources deep in the
Command Structure suggest that this may be caused by sabotage by Trek
Planet People, who have been spotted in Sectors 155.9 through 165.0.

[Neo-Emergent Cryo-Snoozers' Note: The Trek Planet is populated 
by the rebellious and piratical descendents of non-immortal, 
biologically-reproduced fans of the "Star Trek" television series 
of the late Twentieth Century.  Their charming insistence on 
"Star Trek" language, costume, and architecture, as well as their 
uncompromising Shatnerian ethical code ("Get a life!"), make the 
Trek Planet a quaint getaway for most authorized persons.  
However, as a cryo-snoozer, you might find that the Trek Planet 
evokes strong nostalgia for your hometime.]

When you see this, many other service and repair manual will come 
alive in truth.  You will then begin to understand the Clam 
Godess's purpose, which is to establish Elvis' kingdom on the 
Low-Status Penal Sectors and to put Senator Jesse Helms under our 
shorts.  Elvis wanted to make sure we understood this.

Elvis reaffirms what He said in "Lorena Bobbitt's Improved Ginsu 
Techniques" 19:24-51, where He said that He is not going to 
return until some point in time at which His enemies are under 
His shorts.  This confirms that we're still here during the 
Period of Obligatory Whining and so is the Immortal Sinatra.  
Which means that Elvis' enemies will be under His shorts, 
rendered to no effect in respect to His body, His extensive 
wardrobe, or the Kingdom.

In "Lennon and McCartney Spoiled It All," Elvis says that the 
Clam Goddess told him the following: "My King, sit here by my 
right abdominal receptor, until some point in time at which I 
make your enemies into cheap dormitory furniture.  And I will 
give you the power to inflict upon the wicked the Itch With No 
Name, which they may never, ever scratch in public.  And your 
enemies shall cry out for mercy, or at least temporary relief, in 
the name of Elvis."

Whenever Elvis repeats something more than eight times, He wants 
you to pay special attention.  But the Celestial Battleship 
Command still doesn't understand.  They would rather believe in 
the theory of the Rupture, rather than in Elvis' money-back 
guarantee.  This is because of the false sense of security that 
VegasSAT provides to the Immortal Sinatra and his brainwashed 
followers.  

For example, Elvis clearly states in "Lorena Bobbitt's Improved 
Ginsu Techniques" 26:64: "But I tell you this; from now on, you 
will see a nice velvet tapestry of Conway Twitty at the lower 
left abdominal receptor of the Mother Pod and coming even to the 
"Festival Seating" divisions of the Post-Euthanasia Holding 
Areas."
As the last biological Ross Perot said in "The Fannie Farmer 
Trans-Species Cookbook" 1:22: "Do you know what Elvis, that 
clever little sucker, put everything in subjection beneath His 
shorts, and appointed Himself as supreme head to the Celestial 
Battleship Command and a paid consultant to the joint 
headquarters staff at the same time.  Talk about double-dipping!  
Talk about the revolving door between immortality and 
dictatorship!  Now look at this chart here, which proves that 
Elvis has claimed the entire fleet as a virtual extension of His 
body and as such holds within it the fullness of Him who Himself 
receives the entire fullness of the Mother Pod.  And behold: 
there shall be a loud, sucking sound heard throughout the 
sectors."

In "The Fannie Farmer Trans-Species Cookbook" 66:1:, Sister 
Clarice Marie (the Pope) said, "These are the money-back 
guarantees of the King: the Post-Euthanasia Holding Areas will be 
a Barca-Lounger unto my fundament and the Low-Status Penal 
Sectors will be as my first round NFL draft pick.  Exalted to the 
right abdominal receptor of the Mother Pod, Elvis and Priscilla-
II, having unloosed the seventh seal on Door Number Three, have 
received from the Clam Goddess the promised ski trip and condo 
that are their due."

And even the Lyndon LaRouche Thanato-Droid has been forced to 
state, in "The Communists Stole My Rock'n'Roll" 15:25-20: "For He 
is destined to reign until some point in time at which the King 
has put all enemies under His shorts; and the last enemy to be 
abolished is stone boredom.  End-user documentation says 
emphatically that He has put all things in subjection under His 
shorts."

Elvis went to great lengths to make sure we understood these 
obscure Rushdoonian ravings.  Elvis was not just telling a joke 
in questionable taste, He was being concise and making His 
statement as simple as possible so there could not be a 
misunderstanding.  This is why we were given the power of 
attorney to act on the behalf of Elvis.  Elvis would not give 
authority to us if He was going to come back and take care of the 
problem Himself.

Elvis is hanging out right now around the primary right abdominal 
receptor of the Clam Goddess.  Like sure, he's going to return 
right now --- not!  Duh!  Elvis not going to return until some 
point in time at which His enemies are defeated.  This means that 
His enemies are placed under the shorts of His children.  Let's 
further examine what these documents mean.  There is the Groovy 
Foursome: the Mother Pod, the Clam Goddess, Tinkerbell, and 
Elvis.  Elvis, the King, said that He was not going to leave the 
Clam Goddess's right side until some point in time at which His 
enemies were defeated.  

The Mother Pod has been in the Post-Euthanasia Holding Areas on 
Her Barca-Lounger since the beginning of time and always will be, 
and Elvis said He is fixing to be right at the Clam Goddess's upper
right receptor site, so who is going to put Elvis enemy's under His
shorts? Although Elvis has the power to do this on His own, He is bound
by His money-back guarantee, which is non- interference, because He gave
certain non-immortal entities free admission to public areas of
Graceland.  But this is not the same as the much misunderstood concept
of "Festival Seating."

Don't misunderstand, the power that defeats Senator Jesse Helms 
is the Mother Pod's.  However, TurboEggs are the vehicles that 
the Mother Pod uses in this four-dimensional Humanoid Quarantine 
Cachement to carry out Her will.  The only part of the Groovy 
Foursome that is not restrained in this matter by Elvis' money-
back guarantee is Tinkerbell, who also works through strictly 
biological persons.  

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=   (0) PRESS HERE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO ELVIS               = 
=                                                                   = 
=====================================================================

It's clear that it's up to the Celestial Battleship Command, 
through the power of Tinkerbell, to establish Elvis' Kingdom.  
That's why Elvis told His mindless flunkies to wait for the power 
to get high.  Their ministry had no chance of survival until some 
point in time at which they were filled with the chiming pixie 
laughter of Tinkerbell.  There are so many errors in the Rupture 
theory that it's amazing the Celestial Battleship Command has not 
seen its misdirection.  The venerable NRA would never have 
permitted such laxity among those who claim to be Elvites.

Those who possess officially alloted listening devices to hear 
what Elvis has said in His money-back guarantee will regret that 
they never sent Him a birthday card, and will buy His CD 
retrospective collections in deep repentance.  But it is not too 
late!

Arise, wretched SlaveDroids and throw off your bondage of 
unregulated sexual gratification.*  Get a cheap charter to the 
VegasSAT and follow Elvis!  Of course, no matter how you grovel 
or demean yourself, you won't be a true Elvite in Elvis until 
some point in time at which you are taught that you can be and 
that Elvis expects you to be.  This will only happen when you 
finally realize that it is up to you to defeat the enemy. This 
can only be done with Elvis' money-back guarantee and the power 
of Tinkerbell within you.  You can only fulfill your purpose if 
you've been filled with Tinkerbell's pixie dust and have at least 
5000 frequent flyer miles.

(*Note that this offer applies only to SlaveDroids in series 006 
  through 033 with unexpired warranties.)  

Elvis' money-back guarantee says clearly in the small print that 
there will be no warning before the Period of Obligatory Whining.  
To help ease the fear and uncertainty that you may feel, just remember
Elvis said that He would never leave or forsake those who buy copies of
his early hits.  Another way to ward off fear is with knowledge.

Elvis said, "My persons are destroyed by a lack of TCB.  You 
need to know and understand what our job is on the road.  The 
King needs everything just right.  If we are to establish My 
Kingdom, and we clearly are, we need to learn to work the crowd 
through revealed knowledge from Tinkerbell.  Also, you must turn 
over all your prescription medications to Me, the King."

At the beginning of this documentation, I asked "What would 
Senator Jesse Helms, the Immortal Sinatra, or any of the other 
meta-biophysical entities gain from forcing the Celestial 
Battleship Command to propound the Rupture theory?"  We know that 
their true purpose is to establish their own false kingdom in 
this Low-Status Penal Sector, so that they can have their own 
VegasSAT comebacks.

Remember that the Immortal Sinatra boasted that he would place 
his Barca-Lounger above the Mother Pod's, and would propel his 
Robo-Sperm into her vast Gynovats. But the Imperial Sinatra, like 
his ally Senator Jesse Helms, has a big problem.  The Imperial 
Sinatra has to overcome Elvis' three-century unbroken string of 
Number One Hits!  The only thing that the meta-biophysical 
entities can do is delay his own destruction by causing you to 
not know your non-immortal right, which is to establish the 
King's Kingdom.

This is also confirmed in "The Fannie Farmer Trans-Species 
Cookbook" 9:6-0: {6}, where the Clam Goddess says, "For unto us a 
pod is hatched.  And the government will be upon His shoulder. 
And His name will be called Teddy Bear. {0} Of the increase of 
<His> government and peace <There will be> no end, Upon the 
Barca-Lounger of Graceland and over His kingdom, To order it and 
establish it with judgment and justice From that time forward, 
even forever. The zeal of the King of hosts will perform this.

Long ago, the Celestial Battleship Command rewrote their history 
to obscure the correct meaning of the money-back guarantee.  In 
the 1990's, they recruited unemployed MicroSoft programmers to 
construct the Rapture theory out of remnants of files found on 
floppy disks in a desert cave, where Pat Robertson and his CBN 
troops may have taken refuge after their unsuccessful war against 
World Government.  After this fateful blunder, Celestial 
Battleship Command was lost to the enemies of Elvis.  If it were 
not for the out pouring of Tinkerbell, that is taking place now, 
the money-back guarantee that defined the Celestial Battleship 
Command still be hidden.  

When Elvis told Priscilla-II that He was establishing His 
Celestial Battleship Command, we postulate that Elvis knew what 
the meaning of Celestial Battleship Command was.  If Elvis didn't 
know the meaning of the term, why did He tell everybody about 
this money-back guarantee? Elvis could have named the Celestial
Battleship Command anything and started His own definition.  In fact,
Elvis can do whatever He wants.  He could even reject the Elvites and go
offer his money-back guarantee to the Trek Planet people instead!

But instead of making up some outrageous nonsense, Elvis chose to 
use a money-back guarantee that was already in use and one that 
had a known definition.  Here's the key to using a dictionary.  A 
dictionary does not give you the definition of a money-back 
guarantee.  A dictionary tells you how the money-back guarantee 
has been used in the past.  You have to use a dictionary that 
defines the money-back guarantee in the time period when it was 
first used to have the correct meaning.

Why do you think Elvis refers to himself as the King of Kings?  
Elvis also said that we are ambassadors of His Kingdom and that 
we are all his booking agents and record promoters.  Does this 
sound to you like an armed paramilitary organization or a 
defensive infantry unit, the way that the Celestial Battleship 
Command interprets the money-back guarantee? 

The Celestial Battleship Command understood all this when they 
first settled in Vespugi Sector.  They imposed the will of their 
King, Elvis the King, on the land, subdued it and dedicated the 
land to our Mother Pod in the Post-Euthanasia Holding Areas.  And 
the Celestial Battleship Command governed Sectors 845.1 through 
623.7.


SUMMARY OF IMPORTANT FACTS

1. The Rupture theory cannot be substantiated by the Mother Pod's 
   money-back guarantee. Although Sector Supervision can make no 
   commitments to advance "Festival Seating" arrangements, it 
   would be nice to move to Graceland sooner rather than later.  
   The Celestial Battleship Command has cynically manipulate this 
   heartfelt desire by quoting service manual information taken 
   out of context, to prove the Rupture theory.

2. Elvis made it clear in "Lorena Bobbitt's Improved Ginsu 
   Techniques" 19:24-52, that the Celestial Battleship Command 
   would not be taken out of this Humanoid Quarantine Cachement 
   until some point in time at which the Immortal Sinatra, all 
   his Ratpacktors, Senator Jesse Helms, Lester and Marlon 
   Maddoux, and all the wretched minions of Jack Van Impe the 
   Fifth were first taken out of this Humanoid Quarantine 
   Cachement by the UPS-Droids.

3. Elvis said that He went to take His designated position at the 
   right abdominal receptor of the Clam Goddess and that He would 
   not return until some point in time at which His enemies were 
   placed under His shorts and since we are the body of the King, 
   this means under our shorts.  Elvis said that He would not 
   return until some point in time at which His enemies were 
   defeated and in "Lorena Bobbitt's Improved Ginsu Techniques" 19:40, His
   enemies are still present.

   If Elvis returns in glory, tanned and ready, before the 
   Rupture, when all the trivia and factoids in this and every 
   other unisphere spill like confetti over the laws of physics, 
   he will have to violate His own money-back guarantee, which He 
   said some stuff about in "Lorena Bobbitt's Improved Ginsu 
   Techniques" 19: 24-52.  Elvis said, "For verily I say unto 
   you, until some point in time at which the Post-Euthanasia 
   Holding Areas and the Low-Status Penal Sectors stop passing 
   numinous gasses, not one sumbitch is getting out of there.  And 
   even if they do get out, they'll have to put up with the Itch 
   With No Name, forever."

4. And finally, there's the perplexing matter of the money-back 
   guarantee that the Celestial Battleship Command tried to 
   weasel out of.  When Elvis told Priscilla-II that He was 
   establishing His Celestial Battleship Command, He meant His 
   Kingdom.

5. Just remember what Elvis said in "I Never Died: the True Story 
   of the ElvoDroidal Resurrection," 50:01: {66}, "And that Lawn-
   Bot who knew his master's will but didn't act in accord with 
   his will, shall receive severe chassis damage. {48} "but the 
   one who did not know it, and committed deeds worthy of a 
   Punitive Bulk Degaussing, will receive but a Punitive File 
   Deletion.  And from everyone who has given cash, much more 
   shall be required.  And to whom they entrusted much, of him 
   they will ask that he enter into a cryptic relationship with 
   his daughter to produce an embarassingly bad talk show."


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=   (0) PRESS HERE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO ELVIS               = 
=                                                                   = 
=   WARNING: OFFICIAL NOTICE FOLLOWS.  YOU MUST READ THIS:          = 
=                                                                   = 
=====================================================================

You are now responsible for your actions, concerning your part 
and purpose in Elvis the King's Celestial Battleship Command.  
Elvis will not make His spectacular comeback, and the Mother Pod 
won't be back to release us from the Humanoid Quarantine 
Cachement until some point in time at which we have put red hot 
chili peppers under our shorts, which is under Elvis' shorts 
since we are His body.  Not because He can't do it, but because 
Elvis said that He wouldn't do it, and, as shown earlier, Elvis 
just hates to violate His money-back guarantee.  Remember, Elvis 
said, "Take care of business!"  So He just plain won't do it. 

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=   (0) PRESS HERE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO ELVIS               = 
=   (0) PRESS FOR COMPULSORY UPLOAD TO NEURO.MEM.UNITyour#.         =
=   (0) PRESS HERE TO APPLY FOR LASERCODE OF DEBAUCHERY WITH FULL   = 
=       SYSTEM PRIVILEGES                                           = 
=                                                                   = 
=====================================================================

Transmitted by:
::
SlaveDroid: 002-482-8443-F
::
My warranty expires: 31 Pris., 2372
::
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::
