====== HOTELS ====== Suppose you are staying at a hotel and get into a bad beef over the poor quality of the meal you get in their restaurant. After trying to be reasonable, here is how Ralph Charell, a champion-class advocate for the little guy, handled it. Seeing absolutely no satisfaction and no end of snobbish treatment, Charell took the following steps. He requested a deposit box in the hotel safe and placed the offending rib roast, which he felt was of poor quality, in the box and locked it. The box had two separate locks and two separate keys. One was held by the hotel, the other by Charell. "At this point, the hotel management has absolutely no idea what I'd placed in the box," Ralph Charell explained. "I told them it was valuable evidence in a possible legal action I was considering against an organization with whom I was having a disagreement about the quality of one of their products." In a short time, someone at the desk caught the disagreeable odor of decay coming from the area of the safe. Within another short time, Charell was called by the manager and asked to clear whatever was in the box out of the box. Charell explained about the "evidence" in this legal action. The hotel manager threatened to force open the box anyway. Charell reminded him of the laws against destroying evidence, then explained the whole situation. "What do you want from me, Mr. Charell?" was the manager's beaten reply. Ralph Charell then reported the details of the dinner he and his party had had at the hotel. It takes a real expert like Ralph Charell to turn a trick into something positive for all sides. In Homer City, Pennsylvania, a group of the locals told about the time a fellow had a room at a nearby boardinghouse. He was the pompous sort of smartass who just begged to be dirty tricked. The locals went to a junkyard and brought a huge gang plow. It was in pieces and was relatively easy for these husky lads to put in the mark's rooms. They assembled it and welded the pieces together with a small, portable machine. They and their machine left. There was a great deal of consternation on the part of the mark and the landlord, who parted company faster than the room and the plow. Automobiles and other bits of large machinery work equally well in rooms and apartments today. A collegiate trick reported by Whitney Clapper called for hiding small dead things, such as mice, sparrows, or moles, in out-of-the-way places in the marks rented room. Good secret places include light fixtures, inside switch boxes, unused overcoat pockets, and inside appliances. Within a few days, the mark will be aware that something is wrong. A few more days, and he'll be sure. Left unattended, this stunt will provide the mark with a mass of pet maggots to raise. =================== INSURANCE COMPANIES =================== In the intelligence business, access to insurace company files is regarded as an operational goldmine. A former executive explains, "These files contained detailed analysis of actual and potential weaknesses, trouble spots, and other problems of any sort facing clients. Insurance companies stand to lose millions of dollars in the event of an actionable accident or difficulty, such as the Three Mile Island fiasco. Obviously, these very thorough and detailed investigative data would be of immense interest to a saboteur. In other words, these companies want to know the details by which anything and everything could go wrong with a client. These data are like a printer on sabotage." Getting access to these reports and data may not be so easy for the nonprofessional. But if you have enough dedication and imagination you will find a method. The kids who blackbagged the FBI offices in Media, Pennsylvania, were nonprofessionals, and look what they pulled off! They managed to liberate entire files of illegal domestic espionage, which later blew apart COINTELPRO, the blackest eye Hoover's FBI ever suffered. Now let's get to the insurance companies themselves. Suppose you get turned down for insurance and you want to know why. By law, the insurance company must show you the file it has on you. Suppose you learn that all sorts of misinformation and other lies are in there. There are organizations and lawyers that deal in just that sort of thing, and a load of simultaneous lawsuits for such things as invasion of privacy and slander would be great. Deborah Bodenhead hates junk mail, especially mail-order insurance hustles. So she answers these requests with affirmative orders; "I'll buy," she tells them. Then she runs salespeople and clerks through all sorts of scheduled, broken, rebroken, etc., appointments. She settles finally on a policy, then waits for the second billing to cancel. Why the second billing? "They rarely send out the policy before the first billing," Deborah explains. "I want them to go to the expense of preparing and processing the policy. I usually get a second bill with a polite dunning letter. That's when I cancel. It drives the salespeople to anguish every time. Usually when they whine and ask me why, I just tell them I really hate mail-order advertising and just decided to cancel on a matter of principle about junk mail." I asked an insurance agent about this stunt, and he cursed people like Deborah, saying these people drove our rates up. I asked him if it wasn't really the companies' own obnoxious marketing techniques that drove up rates! He cursed me, too. Don't ever pity or sorrow for insurance companies. They make more profit in an hour than any of us make in salary in a year. === IRS === Mark Mertz knows a few special things about the Internal Revenue Service -- it can be used to furnish a hard time for your mark. Mertz knows his way around government agencies, and here's one of his IRS offerings. "You'll need your mark's Social Security number and some other obvious personal data. Once you get those data you're on your way. "Call a regional IRS office and 'confess' that you have cheated on your income tax, you conscience has bothered you, and you want to make things right by this great nation. Make an appointment with an auditor, using your mark's name, Social Security number, address, etc." The kicker comes when the mark doesn't show up to keep the appointment, for obvious reasons. The IRS will send a visitor around to talk with the mark, and chances are he will be audited, regardless of his explanations. So much for using IRS to hassle your mark. Many more folks would prefer the IRS were the mark. As in dealing with any large bureaucracy and its people, many of the stunts mentioned in other chapters may be brought to play against the IRS. However, there are a few specefic tricks that may be used to bring rain on the IRS picnic. You could start by picking up a bunch of blank returns and filing them in the names of your least favorite people. I have been assured by a former IRS field auditor that someone will have to make an effort to verify each return. With the help of your printer and your newly found forgery skills, prepare some financial documents indicating that some person or corporation has received some substantial income. Make copies of copies several times until you have a fifth- or sixth-generation copy that is not too clean but is still easily sharp enough to read. The idea is to make it look like copies of a purloined original. Call an IRS office from a phone booth and tell them you are an honest employee of the mark and you think he is evading taxes. Offer to send the IRS person the papers. Get off the phone very quickly, then send the papers. If the IRS gets nasty they may find themselves in court. I got this idea from a man who worked for a company that did fight IRS in court and won big -- through an honest IRS error. Think what could happen to IRS if you fed them a dishonest error! ================ THOMAS JEFFERSON ================ A quote by Thomas Jefferson can be used to confuse your friends or critics if they question your activities as a dirty trickster. A very sharp man who would be as upset with things in America as you are, Jefferson is quoted as saying, "Resistance to tyrants is obedience to God." Let the authoritarians and their domestic gestapo choke on that one. It's enough to make them thump a few Bibles. What would be Thomas Jefferson's views on revolution, anarchy, busing, the draft, marijuana, and excessive taxation? ======= JOGGERS ======= Overweight and overwrought motorists drive by in their Detroit Dinosaurs, pass a jogger, and mutter, "Damn stupid schmuck." It's the human way to hate what and whom you don't understand. Joggers are often thought of as nuts, oddballs, and kooks to be dealt with. Marty Jones, a landowner, is more specific, saying, "They run across a corner of my property, using a path I put in for my own use. I posted the land, but they ignored the postings. I have tried to talk to them, but they may or may not even stop to listen. If they stop they keep running in place while I'm raising hell about trespass. I think most joggers are rude, self-centered, and selfish. I was thinking about hiding in the bushes and ambushing them with my kid's BB gun." For a variety of reasons, many people don't like joggers. Some folks even actively plot against joggers, using cars and motorcycles, then arming themselves with boards, pies, and other objects with which to strike the runners. There are less barbaric ways, however. Tire spikes are a World War II relic. During the hostilities, they were dumped from low-flying aircraft onto enemy airfields and main transportation roadways, where they caused havoc. Your use may not be so widespread, but with equally exasperating results. The tire spike is a simply made piece of one-eighth-inch-thick steel cut in the form of a four-pointed star. Its purpose is to puncture rubber tires. The original wartime models were three inches in diameter and had four points at forty-five-degree angles. One of the points always stuck upward, ready to impale a vehicle tire. Even today, there are many uses for tire spikes. One anti-jogger has already suggested that these spikes be reduced in size and dropped strategically near the running habitat of these long-range exercise buffs. The purpose, I presume, is to penetrate the expensive bottom of expensive jogging footwear and, perhaps, the expensive foot of the jogger. One critic called this tactic "a really sick pain in the metatarsus." Ultrathin piano wire strung shin high on a pathway is excruciatingly nasty. That's another World War II stunt redrafted for this book by Colonel Jake Mothra. Many military manuals offer equipment and directions, he adds. Another contribution to joggermania would be to sprinkle marbles on their special little pathways. Another nasty trickster, Hidell Crafard, told me about an acquaintance at the Hunt Sporting Club in Dallas who actually put ground glass into the running shoe of a bitter enemy. Perhaps that's where filet of sole originated. There aren't many counteractivities a jogger can use in retaliation. Once is to carry MACE for obvious use. Another tactic is to carry cans of garish-hued spray paint. These can be directed against attackers' automobiles. =========== LAUNDROMATS =========== In addition to the dryer for a pizza oven, as outlined in another section of this book, you can use laundromats to harass an individual mark, or the business itself can be your mark. It is not very hard, for example, to dump several packets of dye into someone's wash, ruining his/her clothing. Doing this at random will bring grief to the owners of the laundromat. One antisocial chap used to put small piles of moistened rust particles in the dryer used by his mark so the mark's clothing would have large rust stains. Roadkill may also be used to good advantage in these operations. Additives that are positive ingredients for a good time at the laundromat includes raw eggs, fish, peanut butter, and fiberglass. If your mark is the operator of the business, you will find a variety of his/her ancillary services to bugger, including vending machines, customer seats, and restrooms. Small nails or staples driven partly into seats, and restrooms. Small nails or staples driven partly into chairs make good items for customers to snag themselves and their clothing on, for example. And vending machines can be made to steal money from patrons. ==== LAWN ==== Our outdoor correspondent, Lother Gout, came up with a scheme to hassle your mark's lawn. It's a simple matter of spilling quantities of tomcat lure on the targeted lawn. The urine of Felix Domesticus will do wonders for the lawn and the mark's disposition. There are also a number of commercial lawn-care products that may used to good advantage by the serious dirty trickster. One stunt is to select a large, open chunk of you mark's lawn. Using concentrated weed killer, you spell socially offensive words on the lawn with the defoliant. The grass dies, and a nasty word or legend is spelled out for all the neighbors to see. This works best on a slight slope facing a street for maximum exposure. Salt or vinegar will work almost as well as commercial vegetation killer. If you're the sort of fun person who's read this far, I'm certain you'll need no suggestions as to what to say in your little message. Serious defoliation is one of the many techniques our Vietnam experiences made available to the dirty trickster. Defoliation is the most potent way to get back at dastardly people who also have unreasonable pride in their lawns and ornamentals. These are usually the type of fussy people who also own small, yipping, bitchy dogs the size of rats -- more on that later. This time we're going to take out everything that grows. There are many commercial products available that will kill anything growing. Look on the label to see that it says the stuff is nonselective and/or that it makes the soil barren. You just load up your sprayer -- or the mark's, if you can get to it -- and fire away. Like a good guerilla, pick out what he loves most and hit it first and heaviest. Don't leave a single blade or stem standing. No prisoners. Be cautious, though, that you stay upwind from the spray. At night you can't tell how much of the gunk you are inhaling or getting on your skin. We have enough Agent Orange victims without adding you to the list. Reinhard Ray, a former special-operations man for the U.S. navy, suggests a selective use of the weed killer in a psychological battle against a mark who is a true worrier, fringing on paranoia. You apply the solution fairly heavily around the mark's natural or LP gas meter; then, broadcasting a bit more lightly, you follow the fuel line directly to the mark's house. A final, heavier dose would be appropriate at the jointure of home and line. Within a few days the frightened mark will be convinced that his entire gas system is leaking badly. Obviously, this is effective only if your mark's house uses natural or LP gas. But you could also do this to a water-supply line coming into the house or a buried electric line. A related scam would be to spray the stuff in a circle around the house. Then, on bogus official letterhead you've either duplicated or had printed, send the mark a letter from the Nuclear Regulatory Commision explaining how they've just discovered some long lost records revealing that the mark's home was built over a former repository for nuclear wastes. I'm sure your imagination can embellish the rest of the letter's content to convince the mark that he, his family, and home are now radiation victims. Obviously, you can't use this if the mark's house is more than twenty years old, because nuclear waste dumps weren't built much before then. ======= LAWYERS ======= Punxy Phil Ferrick decided to get back at a dishonorable attorney who decided to try hoodwinking the public by becoming a politician. Ferrick got hold of the attorney's legal letterhead and got it duplicated by a printer who was equally outraged at this crook's trying to capitalize his larceny by becoming an elected thing. Using the letterhead for starters, Ferrick sent out blatant dunning letters over the mark's signature demanding campaign contributions from politically sensitive people. Another mailing was a group of threatening letters to local civic, church, and charity groups about their winked-at illegal bingo and 50/50 fundraisers. In the bogus letter, the lawyer threatened action. The bogus mailings made the local newspaper when the lawyer -- who had been a big booster, campaigner, organizer, etc., for Nixon in '68 and '72 -- complained of the dirty tricks. The newspaper treated the story straight: The attorney's denials only aroused more suspicion. And no one ever suspected Ferrick...until now. Another scheme is this: Get a blank deed of trust, fill in your mark's name and address, use your notary seal, and you have a legitimate-looking phony document. File it at the courthouse, and you have an action in the works against your mark. It means the mark has defaulted on a mortgage or some other promissory note and that "you" are filing against it. "You" can be an attorney if you wish when "you" sign this form. Days of frustration, anger, and bureaucratic disbelief directed at the mark will follow before things are straightened out. Don't get caught doing this one. The best point here is that no one ever does things like this illegally, so the bureaucrats will never suspect it as a dirty trick. But there's more. If you have access to a law library or law-library materials, you can play games with the mark's mind, claims Oswald Helms, an observer of the legal scene. He suggests, "Law libraries have standardized legal-practice forms, form books, and routine stationary forms that lawyers, clerks, judges, and the like use to help draft legal letters and proper legal forms. A dummy form or letter, photostated with some dummy legal notices, using, for example, arrest warrants, summonses, condemnations, search warrants, etc., can often pass for the real thing. It will shake the mark very much. "The secret behind this," Helms explains, "is that real legal people sometimes use the Xerox machine and routine forms, too. It saves time and money. It will easily fool the target and will probably force his or her attorney to at least follow it up." Time and money, time and money. Good torting. ============== LICENSE PLATES ============== There are many sophisticated and clever ways to obtain additional vehicular license plates that aren't registered in your real name. However, it's not necessary to fool around with all that esoterica. Be like a street punk and simply steal what you need. A bad guy who needs a plate simply removes one from someone's car or truck. That simple. This is also highly illegal. But if you're careful and use a bit of common sense, can you think of a simpler and safer way of getting the extra plates you need for dirty tricks? ======= MA BELL ======= Did you ever see those office signs that say, THINK? In one telephone-company office I visited, I saw signs saying, SNEER. People have been messing with Ma Bell for as long as that corporate dictator has been monopolizing telephone service. For years stories have been circulated about using strips of Scotch tape on coins, which allows their use again and again in pay telephones. Do you know what a number-fourteen washer will accomplish in a pay telephone? The Yippies and other groups have developed marvelously ingenious ways of sabotaging telephone-company operations. Some of their literature is sheer technological genius, almost as if it were written by a Bell Laboratoris dropout. I once spoke with a radical who had become a "mole," an agent of his political beliefs who secreted himself away in five years of deep cover working as a technician for Illinois Bell. His purpose was to learn about the technical side of the company so he could later control or destroy telephonic communication. Gordon Alexander presents an alternative manner, simple but novel in these complex days. A professional dirty trickster for more than twenty years, Alexander uses the dangerous but simple method of physically cutting telephone lines. If you are looking for instructions on how to safely cut Ma Bell's lines here, forget it. Unless you know what you are doing and have the proper equipment you could easily light up like an insect hitting an electric bug trap. I said it was simple; I didn't say it was easy or safe. Lee Jenner, an accountant, suggests that you overpay your telephone bill if you're alienated from Ma Bell. He says, "Overpay by a constant seventeen cents a month. Make it consistent. Then, after a few months, underpay by seventeen cents. Start another pattern for a while of overpayment; then underpay again. It drives them nuts." Jenner continues, "The local telephone company had screwed a client of mine and refused even give him the time of day. He started this seventeen-cent bit, and before the year was out he had the manager of the local company begging him to stop. It worked totally to his satisfaction." Meanwhile, on other battlefield fronts, Bell-hater Leo Garry says you should have your printer make a bunch of OUT OF ORDER signs with the local Ma Bell's logo on them. Hang them on every public telephone you find. Speaking of pay telephones, only punks and idiots damage them. Much as you may hate them, they're the only game in town. If you've ever needed a pay phone in an emergency, you know what I mean. You can play games with your local service representative (Ma Belltalk for salesperson) by ordering phones and equipment for marks or ordering service shutoffs. Always make these type of calls from a pay phone, for obvious reasons. Bandit calling may have been developed by the Yippies. Certainly they are among its champions, both as practitioners and as cheerleaders. Aside from the blue boxes, which make free calls for you, there is a tactic that can be used by the nontechnical wizard and doesn't cost you anything. It's the use of the bogus credit-card numbers, and it works like this. Always use a pay telephone and not always the same one. Next, you need a credit-card number. Here is where knowledge of Ma Bell's codes comes in. For that information check OVERTHROW, a tabloid published by the Youth International Party. A subscription cost you ten dollars a year, but each issue contains all sorts of other dirty tricks, as well as an updated listing of not only Ma Bell's codes, but also the complete credit-card numbers for many corporations, public utilities, and government agencies. To order a subscription, send ten dollars to Overthrow, P.O. Box 392, Canal Street Station, New York, N.Y. 10013. It's a good investment, according to most readers. After you get credit-card codes or numbers, the Yippies claim, the rest of bandit calling is simple. You simply dial the long distance operator from your pay phone and sound very, very businesslike when you say, "This is a credit card call, and my number is [give the operator the credit-card number]. I want to call [give the operator only the number of the party you are calling]." Be sure you can tell a suspicious operator the area code from which the card was supposedly issued. If the operator wants to know who holds the card, either make up a legitimate-sounding company name or use the name of the agency or company whose card number it really is, depending upon the circumstance. It helps if your party at the other end of the call knows what's happening. Talk straight and businesslike for the first five minutes, as a snoopy operator -- that's the way Ma Bell trains them -- might stay on the line that long to listen in. Avoid sensitive subjects like your name, politics, drugs, or dirty tricks since you never know who is recording calls these days. Break off the call within twelve minutes. Obviously, your callee should act very dumb when Ma Bell's security people do come to investigate a month or so after the fraud is discovered. And don't let them intimidate you or your friends, either. They're good at that -- many of them are former federal or state police. One Bell employee told me that their security people utilize warrantless wiretaps, blackmail, and physical surveillance to catch persons suspected of making bandit calls. The employee also told me these tactics are used against persons who even publicize such practices. I consider myself warned. So should you. Ma Bell can be one nasty mother. By the time you read this, though, the game may be up. In Washington state, the Supreme Court there upheld the conviction of a newspaper for publishing the telephone company's secret codes. The telephone company, which has both security and propaganda sections that rival the government's, was working furiously behind the scenes to influence the verdict. Abbie Hoffman suggested this next trick, so if it doesn't work, call him. Restrict Hoffman's idea to corporate, utility, or institutional telephone systems. Cut the female end off an ordinary extension cord. Unscrew the mouthpiece on the telephone in any one office. You will see a terminal for a red wire and one for a black wire. Attach one of the wires from the extension cord to the red and one to the black. Finally, plug the extension cord into a power socket. According to Hoffman, you are sending 120 volts of electricity back through equipment designed for six volts. He says this will knock out thousands of other telephones and the main switchboard, "if all goes right." Even if his numbers are somewhat exaggerated, you've had a good day. Downloaded From P-80 Systems 304-744-2253 Downloaded From P-80 International Information Systems 304-744-2253