~Dr.Marty Make-Wright

If you thought you'd heard the last of him, then think again. Dr 
Marty Make-Wright is back, and he's here to stay (pending law suits 
allowing of course). So step inside his PC Clinic for another lethal 
injection of unconventional problem solving. And watch out, for there 
is a new feature lurking within - the Celebrity Question Corner.


~Dear Dr Marty,

~I like to think of myself as a bit of an entreprenuer, and I think I
~have spotted a gap in the PC games market. Just the other day I was
~playing Sim Ant when the idea occured to me the major area Maxis has
~missed in their Sim series. They have covered the creation of cities,
~planets, and life itself but they haven't even touched an area we 
~spend a third of our lives doing - sleeping. What do ya think? Should
~I sell my SimSleep idea to Maxis?
~                                                Prof. Dicky Richards

DR MARTY REPLIES:
                 Nice try, but Maxis have actually covered this area,
and they've even thrown it in as a free gift. Just play Sim Life for
30 minutes and you'll be nodding off in no time.

Still it did get me thinking about other Sim ideas. How about Sim
Problem Page where a self proclaimed doctor replies to completely 
made up questions? Na - you'd never get away with that!


~Dear Dr Marty,

~I'm a newcomer to the world of computers, and am experiencing some of
~those familiar novice difficulties. My computer came bundled with a
~CD-ROM game called Megarace, but I can't get it to run. It seemed to 
~install OK but when I go into the Megarace directory and type MR the
~system reports some sort of weird error message. I've heard most of
~these type of errors are caused by memory problems, but I don't know
~if my base, extended, or expanded memory is the one at fault. 
~Please help.
~                                                Mr. Paul Hopkins 

DR MARTY REPLIES:
               Thanks for the print out detailing your memory setup.
If only more people would do this problems would be much easier to
diagnose. You're quite right, it is a memory problem. But it`s not
with the computer`s, its with yours. You see, placing the CD labeled
"Megarace" into your CD-ROM drive should alleviate your difficulties.
Readers, sometimes I wish I could upgrade people's BRAINS to 8Mb!

But now I would like to present my new monthly feature - the Celebrity
Question Corner. And this month we're going to start in style by 
answering a question from our very own Prime Minister John Major:


~Dear Dr Marty,

~As you can probably imagine I'm a bit depressed at the moment. What
~with all those opinion polls saying I'm the most hated Prime Minister
~in recent history, I decided I needed something to cheer me up. I've
~chosen to buy one of those new fangled computer type things but I 
~haven't got a clue which one would be most appropriate for me.
~Could you give me any ideas?
~                                                John Major (PM)

DR MARTY REPLIES:
                 Firstly, thanks very much for your letter John. I 
didn't realise Cheet Sheets had such a wide circulation. I've given
your problem a lot of thought and think I have come up with the 
perfect solution. Get hold of the latest issue of PC Mart and have a
flick through for some bargains. Pay special attention to any 286 PC's
because I think you'll like these - they should certainly fit your
'Back to Basics' policy. And watch out for any computers with 
monocrome monitors. If you buy one of these you will be able to play 
all your games in glorious 256 different shades of grey. 

And finally John, cheer up will you. The way I see it is everybody
hates politians, right? And you're the most hated of all politians,
right? Well, it stands to reason then that you'll have the job for
life because nobody could top your unpopularity. Right!


~Dear Dr Marty,

~I'm looking to upgrade my PC so I can play the latest games. But I
~can't decide which bus to get: VLB or PCI. I've heard the PCI one is
~faster but its 30 pounds more expensive. Which should I go for?
~                                                Mrs Jan Roberts

DR MARTY REPLIES:
                 Frankly Jan I'm amazed a woman like yourself would
need to ask me such a trivial question. You didn't say which town you
were going to buy the upgrade from so its hard for me to comment, but
at a push I'd say go for VLB. After all, an extra 30 quid does seem
a little steep for a saving of a few minutes. But before you do 
anything I think you should write a letter of complaint. It only costs
me 85p for a trip into town to visit the local computer store on the
X19 from Southampton. But hopefully for the amount you pay the buses
are on time, and they empty the ash trays occasionally!


~Dear Dr Marty,

~Thanks for replying to my letter last issue. I thought I'd let you 
~know how I was getting on. I took your advice and preposed to my
~daughter`s boyfriend but he declined. He (Phil) told me that he
~had got my daughter pregnant, and would be marrying her next month.
~Help!
~                                                Mrs Ima Single

DR MARTY REPLIES:
               Look Ima I told you last month this is a problem page
about PC games. I really don't care what happens to you and your
teenage daughter. But I am nothing if not compassionate (honest!) so 
I'll give you an answer. I can see a potential problem here. If you 
went ahead and married Phil, and he had custody of the baby then you
would be both the baby`s step-mother AND grandmother. Suicide is  
quickly looking the best option here Ima!


So here ends another session with Dr Make-Wright. But fear not 'cos 
Marty will be back next month with more problems, another Celebrity
Question Corner, and maybe even a couple of answers too.


DISCLAIMER - It should be known that neither Cheet Sheets nor Dr Marty
Make-Wright suggest all mothers of pregnant teenage daughters should 
commit suicide. But of course if your name happens to be Ima Single we
strongly suggest you give it serious consideration.
