
 Recently, RIME resident fatso Howard "blubber king" Belasco took a trip to
 Atlanta, Georgia. Our roving correspondent was there to bring you this story.


 Ticket Agent:  May I help you sir.
       Howard:  I'd like a round trip ticket to Atlanta.
 Ticket Agent:  Would you like smoking or non-smoking.
       Howard:  Non-smoking please. I'm against all kinds of smok....
                < babbles on for 10 minutes about smoking >
 Ticket Agent:  Errr...excuse me sir but would you mind stepping on this
                scale.
       Howard:  Huh <burp>
 Ticket Agent:  The scale sir....would you mind stepping on it.
       Howard:  What for?
 Ticket Agent:  Well, you see the FAA has a strict regulation on how much
                weight can be loaded into an airplane, and you look a bit over
                the limit for a passenger.
       Howard:  ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?
 Ticket Agent:  No sir, no way, you just look over the 250lb. weight limit set
                for passengers. Step on the scale please, sir.
       Howard:  OK, but I'm not fat.
 Ticket Agent:  No sir, you're not. < Howard steps on scale > WooooEeeee look
                at that needle spin! It's slowing down sir, lemme see now, 340
                - 345 - 350 < I'm gonna sell at 400 > 355 - 360. OK, 360lbs on
                the head. Well, you're 110 lbs over the limit sir.
       Howard:  What does that mean?
 Ticket Agent:  It means we'll have to charge you for another seat.
       Howard:  WHAT, I'm not paying for *2* round trip tickets to Atlanta.
 Ticket Agent:  < getting a little pissed > I guess you're not going to
                Atlanta then sir.
       Howard:  Don't get smart with me lady, I'm a paying customer.
 Ticket Agent:  < mumbling... you should pay someone to suck out that fat >
                Sir, I only follow the rules, do you want the tickets or not.
       Howard:  OK, I'll pay the extra charge here's my credit card.
 Ticket Agent:  Here's you tickets and receipt sir, have a nice trip.
       Howard:  Yea, yea same to you bitch.

                         < Howard's out of earshot >

 Ticket Agent:  Fuckin' idiot. I hope he likes the 2 seats I gave him in the
                middle of the smoking section.

