
                TELECOMMUNICATION
  To let your computer communicate with computers that are far 
away, connect your computer to a telephone line by using a modem.

             Communication programs
  To manage your modem, you need a disk containing a 
communication program.
  The cheapest popular communication programs are Bitcom and 
Procomm. The typical modem manufacturer gives you the Bitcom or 
Procomm disk at no extra charge. When you buy Windows, you get a 
communications program called Terminal at no extra charge.
  To perform extra tricks, buy a fancier communication program 
such as Procomm Plus ($65), Procomm Plus for Windows ($79), 
Smartcom ($100), or Crosstalk for Windows ($115). Those are the 
prices charged by discount dealers.
  You get Smartcom free if you buy a modem that has the ``Hayes'' 
brand on it.
  Another way to get a communication program is to buy an 
integrated package such as Microsoft Works or First Choice. Those 
integrated packages also produce word processing, databases, 
spreadsheets, and business graphs. Of all the communication 
programs, the easiest to understand is First Choice's.

                    Settings
  To communicate with another computer, make sure that both 
computers are set to communicate in the same way:
Question      Possible answers    Usual answer
Which baud rate?300, 1200, 2400, 9600, 14400, or 288002400
How many data bits?7 or 8         8
What's the parity bit?0, 1, even (E), odd (O), or none (N)none 
(N)
How many stop bits?0 or 1         1
What kind of duplex?half-duplex (H) or full-duplex (F)full duplex 
(F)
Is XON/XOFF enabled?yes (enabled) or no (disabled)yes (enabled)
  When computer experts chat with each other about which 
communication method to use, they usually discuss those questions 
in that order. For example, if the expert's computer is typical, 
the expert will say ``My computer communicates at 1200 8 N 1 F 
enabled''. To communicate with that computer, you must set up 
your computer the same way. To do that, run the communication 
program, which asks you those questions and waits for you to 
answer. The communication program also asks you whether the modem 
is COM1 or COM2.

       Popular online services
  The most popular computer system for Americans to communicate 
with is Compuserve, which is in Ohio and owned by the same people 
who own H&R Block. It contains many databases you can tap into. 
Some of those databases are for professionals. Others are for 
shopping, stocks, news, airline reservations, hobbies, games, and 
other forms of fun.
  Evening rates are low: less than $10 per hour. (Day rates are 
higher.) The charges are automatically billed to your Master Card 
or Visa.
  Compuserve has branch offices staffed by computers in all major 
American cities. If you call the branch office nearest you, 
you'll automatically be connected to the headquarters in Ohio at 
no extra charge, so you can tap into Compuserve's databases 
without paying for any long-distance calls.
  Besides letting you tap into databases, those computers let you 
swap information with other computerists, via electronic mail. 
For example, if you and your friend Sue are both using 
Compuserve, Sue can send Compuserve a message addressed to you. 
Her message will stay on Compuserve's disk. The next time you try 
to use Compuserve, Compuserve will tell you that her message to 
you is waiting on disk. Compuserve will offer to read it to you.
  By using Compuserve, you can send messages to all your 
computerized friends and even to strangers. Compuserve users have 
organized themselves into clubs, called special interest groups 
(SIGs). Each SIG is devoted to a particular hobby, profession, or 
computer topic. If you join a SIG, you can read the messages sent 
by all other members of the SIG, and you can leave your own 
messages for them.
  You can also play with the CB Simulator, which imitates a CB 
radio and lets you chat (via typed messages) with other wild 
people across the country. You can give yourself a fake name 
(``handle''), to protect your anonymity.
  Compuserve users spend most of their time playing with the 
electronic mail, SIGs, and CB Simulator, rather than the 
databases.
  In addition to Compuserve, you can choose from other online 
services that are more specialized, such as MCI Mail (for 
electronic mail), The Official Airline Guides (for plane 
reservations), Dialog (for research librarians), Dow Jones 
News/Retrieval Service (for stocks), Nexis (for news), and Lexis 
(for lawyers). Some of those specialized services are wonderful, 
addictive, and expensive.
  You can also try Prodigy, American Online, and Delphi. Each 
charges about $10 per month instead of an hourly rate.
  Prodigy is owned by IBM and Sears. One reason why Prodigy is so 
cheap is that it's financed like a magazine: while the top part 
of the screen shows the information you requested, the bottom 
part of the screen invites you to see ads for many products. You 
can ignore those invitations!
  When you buy a modem or communication program, you typically 
get with it some coupons that give you a free hour or two on each 
of the popular online services, so you can sample the joys of 
telecommunication.
                                                  Bulletin boards
                                         A computerized bulletin 
board system (BBS) resembles Compuserve but is free. It 
emphasizes electronic mail, SIGs, and CB Simulators.
                                         It's run by a hobbyist 
from a computer in the hobbyist's own home or office. You swap 
messages with the hobbyist and with all other callers on the 
system, as if they were pen pals.
                                         You can choose from 
thousands of bulletin boards around the country. To find the 
bulletin boards in your neighborhood, ask your local computer 
store or computer club or school's computer department. Also look 
at Computer Shopper magazine, which contains a listing of all 
popular bulletin boards in the United States, Canada, Scotland, 
Italy, and Saudi Arabia. The listings appear every 2nd month, in 
January, March, May, July, September, and November.
                                         Some bulletin boards are 
sexually explicit (heterosexual or gay). Some of my friends met 
wonderful people on bulletin boards ___ and married them!
                  Smiley's pals
  Here's a picture of a smiling face:


It's called a smiley. If you rotate that face 90, it looks like 
this:
                       :-)
  People who chat on bulletin boards often type that symbol to 
mean ``I'm smiling; I'm just kidding''.
  For example, suppose you want to tell President Clinton that 
you disagree with his speech. If you communicate the 
old-fashioned way, with pencil and paper, you'll probably begin 
like this:
Dear Mr. President,
  I'm somewhat distressed at your recent policy announcement.
But people who communicate by electronic mail tend to be more 
blunt:
Hey, Bill!
  You really blew that speech. Jeez! Your policy stinks. You 
should be boiled in oil, or at least paddled with a floppy disk. 
:-)
The symbol ``:-)'' means ``I'm just kidding''. That symbol's 
important. Forgot to include it? Then poor Bill ___ worried about 
getting boiled in oil ___ might have the FBI arrest you for 
plotting an assasination.
                                                     The smiley, 
``:-)'', has many variations:
Symbol                                                   Meaning
:-)                                                      I'm 
smiling.

:-(                                                      I'm 
frowning.
:-<                                                      I'm real 
sad.
:-c                                                      I'm 
bummed out.
:-C                                                      I'm 
REALLY bummed out!
:-I                                                      I'm 
grim.
:-/                                                      I'm 
skeptical.
:->                                                      I have a 
devilish grin.
:-D                                                      I'm 
laughing.
:-o                                                      I'm 
shouting.
:-O                                                      I'm 
shouting really loud.
:-@                                                      I'm 
screaming.
:-8                                                      I talk 
from both sides of my mouth.
:-p                                                      I'm 
sticking my tongue out at you.
:-P                                                      I'm 
being tongue-in-cheek.
:-&                                                      I'm 
tongue-tied.
:-9                                                      I'm 
licking my lips.
:-*                                                      My lips 
pucker for a kiss or pickle.
:-x                                                      My lips 
are sealed.
:-#                                                      I wear 
braces.
:-$                                                      My mouth 
is wired shut.
:-?                                                      I smoke 
a pipe.
:-}                                                      I have a 
beard.
:-B                                                      I have 
buck teeth.
:-[                                                      I'm a 
vampire.
:-{}                                                     I wear 
lipstick.
:-{)                                                     I have a 
moustache.
:-~)                                                     My nose 
runs.
:-)~                                                     I'm 
drooling.
:-)-8                                                    I have 
big breasts.

:*)                                                      I'm 
drunk.
:^)                                                      My nose 
is broken.
:~i                                                      I'm 
smoking.
:/i                                                      No 
smoking!
:~j                                                      I'm 
smoking and smiling.
:'-(                                                     I'm 
crying.
:'-)                                                     I'm so 
happy, I'm crying.
:)                                                       I'm a 
midget.

;-)                                                      I'm 
winking.
.-)                                                      I have 
just one eye,
,-)                                                      but I'm 
winking it.
?-)                                                      I have a 
black eye.
8-)                                                      I wear 
glasses.
B-)                                                      I wear 
cool shades, man.
%-)                                                      My 
glasses broke.
g-)                                                      I wear 
pince-nez glasses.
P-)                                                      I'm a 
pirate.
O-)                                                      I'm a 
scuba diver.
|-O                                                      I'm 
yawning.
|^O                                                      I'm 
snoring.
X-(                                                      I just 
died.

8:-)                                                     My 
glasses are on my forehead.
B:-)                                                     My 
sunglasses are on my forehead.
O:-)                                                     I'm an 
angel.
+:-)                                                     I'm a 
priest.
[:-)                                                     I'm 
wearing a Walkman.
&:-)                                                     I have 
curly hair.
@:-)                                                     I have 
wavy hair.
8:-)                                                     I have a 
bow in my hair.
{:-)                                                     I wear a 
toupee,
}:-)                                                     but the 
wind is blowing it off.
-:-)                                                     I'm a 
punk rocker,
-:-(                                                     but real 
punk rockers don't smile.
3:]                                                      I'm your 
pet,
3:[                                                      but I 
growl.
}:->                                                     I'm 
being devilish,
>;->                                                     and 
lewdly winking.
=:-)                                                     I'm a 
hosehead.
E-:-)                                                    I'm a 
ham radio operator.
C=:-)                                                    I'm a 
chef.
=|:-)=                                                   I'm 
Uncle Sam.
<):-)                                                    I'm a 
fireman.
*<:-)                                                    I'm 
Santa Claus.
*:o)                                                     I'm Bozo 
the clown.
<:I                                                      I'm a 
dunce.
Since those symbols are pictures (icons) that help you emote, 
they're called emoticons (pronounced ``ee MOTE ee cons'').

             Downloading
  Some bulletin boards contain software you can copy freely 
(since the software is freeware or shareware).
  Copying from the bulletin board to your own computer is called 
downloading. If you write your own software and want to 
contribute it to the bulletin board, you upload the software to 
the bulletin board.

              Barriers
  Although Compuserve and bulletin boards can be fun, two 
barriers prevent them from being used by the average American.
  1. If you want to find a particular piece of information, 
you'll have a hard time figuring out which database to contact 
and how to extract the information from it.
  2. Typing messages to people is tedious and impersonal. (I'd 
rather chat on the phone. Most people can chat faster than they 
can type.)

             Voice mail
  Engineers are developing voice mail. It lets you record your 
voice onto a computer disk, so that other computerists can 
retrieve it. It acts as a high-tech answering machine.
  Unfortunately, a voice-mail message consumes lots of disk 
space; but as disks continue to get cheaper, the price problem 
will go away.


               LOCAL-AREA NETWORKS
  If you run wires between computers that are in the same office 
building, you're creating a local-area network (LAN). Each 
computer in the LAN is called a node.
  For the IBM PC and clones, you can create four kinds of LANs. 
Here they are, beginning with the fanciest and most expensive.

                   Server LANs
  A server LAN consists of one main computer (called the server) 
wired to several lesser computers (called workstations).
  A special person (called the network supervisor) tells the 
server how to act. Other office workers (called users) sit at the 
workstations.
  The server's hard disk contains a database that all the 
workstations can access. The server's high-quality high-speed 
printer can print whatever the workstations tell it to.
  Each workstation uses MS-DOS, but the server uses a different 
operating system instead that runs faster. The server's operating 
system is called the network operating system (NOS).
  Netware The most popular NOS is Netware, published by Novell. 
It's expensive. Here are the prices charged by a discount dealer 
(Hard Drives International, 800-PEN-DISK):
Number of usersPrice for Netware 2.2Price for Netware 3.11
  5          $579           $1179
 10         $1279           $1495
 20         $1749           $1999
 50         $2549           $3199
100         $3649           $4579
  Netware can be complex. For example, the infamous version 2.15C 
came on about 40 floppy disks, accompanied by 20 manuals! Version 
3.11 lets you do more tricks than earlier versions and is also 
easier to install. Nevertheless, it's hard enough so that the 
typical office buying Netware pays the computer store to send a 
technician to the office to set up the network. The technician 
typically spends an entire afternoon to get the installation 
started, then leaves the computer running overnight (while 
Netware spends several hours formatting the server's hard disk) 
and comes back the next morning to finish setting up the network.
  Workstations Each workstation can be any reasonable PC clone 
___ even a cheap 8088! But since 286 and 386SX computers cost 
just slightly more, you'll probably wind up making most of your 
workstations be 386SX's.
  Server The server should be a fast clone (such as a 486DX) with 
lots of RAM (8M or more) and a large hard drive (200M or more).
  Cables To form a Novell network, connect all the computers in 
the network by using thin Ethernet cables. Each cable is 
typically 25 feet long and costs $16.
  Run a thin Ethernet cable from the first computer to the second 
computer, then run a cable from the second computer to the third, 
then from the third computer to the fourth, etc.
  Make the server be one of the computers in the middle of that 
chain of cables. All the other computers in the chain are the 
workstations.
  At each end of the entire chain, you must put a cable 
terminator ($3 each).
  Network cards Into each of the network's computers, you must 
insert an Ethernet network card. It's a printed-circuit card to 
which you attach the thin Ethernet cables. It costs about $150.

  How the network works Each user sits at a workstation. When the 
user turns on the workstation's power, the workstation asks for 
the user's name (and maybe a password). Typing the name and 
password is called logging on to the network.
  After the user logs on, the user's workstation accepts normal 
MS-DOS commands, just as if the user weren't on a network.
  For example, if the workstation contains two floppy disk 
drives, they're called A and B, and the user can find out what's 
on drive A by typing ``dir A''. If the workstation contains a 
hard drive, that drive is called C. But if the user tells the 
workstation to get a file from ``drive F'', the workstation will 
get that file from the server's hard drive, by using the network. 
The server is everybody's ``drive F''. For example, to find out 
what files are on the server, the user gets a directory of those 
files by typing ``dir f''.
  Passwords and other security measures prevent any individual 
user from messing up the important files on the server. The 
network also prints reports saying how much time each user has 
been spending on the network.
  That's how the typical Novell network acts, but your Novell 
network might be set up to use a different letter than F. If the 
letter F bothers you (because it reminds you of sex), you can set 
up the network so that the server's hard disk is called ``G'' 
instead.
  Total cost To create a 20-user Novell network, you face many 
costs.
  First, buy Netware (for slightly under $2000). Next, spend many 
thousands of dollars to buy a server and 20 workstations. For 
those 21 computers, buy 21 network cards (about $150 each), 21 
cables (at $16 each), and 2 cable terminators ($3 each). Pay 
several thousands dollars for the labor of installing Netware on 
the server, fiddling with each workstation's AUTOEXEC.BAT, 
inserting the 21 network cards, stringing the 21 cables so that 
nobody trips on them (you might have to punch holes through your 
office's walls and floors!), buying network versions of all the 
programs you want to use on the network, and training all the 
users.
  Hey, nobody said progress was cheap!
  Since installing a Novell network is so expensive, don't do it 
unless you have no other choice. Let's look at some cheaper 
alternatives. . . . 
                                               Peer-to-peer networks
                                         A peer-to-peer network 
is a network in which more than one computer can act as a server. 
In a peer-to-peer network, every computer can be given the 
ability to send files directly to every other computer. Since 
each computer runs ordinary MS-DOS (instead of a special server 
DOS such as Netware), the network runs more slowly than a server 
network but is more flexible.
                                         The best and most 
popular peer-to-peer network is Lantastic, invented by Artisoft. 
Lantastic comes in three versions.
                                         The fancy version uses 
thin Ethernet cables and Ethernet network cards ___ just like 
Novell. But instead of using a ``server'' and Netware, it uses 
the Lantastic operating system, which is much easier to install 
(it comes on just one floppy disk!) and costs less.
                                         Discount dealers sell a 
2-user starter kit for about $500. That price includes the 
Lantastic operating system, networking hardware (thin Ethernet 
cables, terminators, and Ethernet network cards), and manuals to 
hand the 2 users. Your only additional expense is the labor of 
installing it all, which is easy!
                                         Ethernet transmits data 
at a speed of 10 megabits per second. (That's 10 million electric 
signals per second.) If you don't need that much speed, you can 
save money by getting a 2-megabit-per-second version of 
Lantastic; its 2-user starter kit costs just $359.

                                                  Zero-slot LANs
                                         To cut your cost even 
further, buy a LAN that doesn't need a network card ___ and 
therefore doesn't need a slot to put the network card into. That 
kind of LAN is called a zero-slot LAN. To attach the LAN's cable 
to the computer, plug the cable into the computer's parallel 
printer port or RS-232 serial port.
                                         Unfortunately, a 
zero-slot LAN handles just one pair of users ___ just 2 
computers. The hardware setup is so easy: just run the cable from 
one computer's port to the other computer's port!
                                         The most popular 
zero-slot LANs are Lantastic Z and Desklink. Discount dealers 
sell each for about $90.
                                         Desklink comes with a 
serial cable (to plug into the serial ports). Since the main part 
of the serial cable is an ordinary phone cord, you can run 
Desklink even between computers that are many yards apart: just 
buy a longer phone cord or an extension cord from your local 
phone store (such as AT&T or Radio Shack). Unfortunately, it 
works slowly: just 0.1 megabits per second.
                                         Lantastic Z uses that 
same kind of serial cord (at the same speed) but also includes an 
18-foot parallel cable, which you can use instead for faster 
transmission. But even if you use the parallel cable, the 
transfer rate will be much slower than the network-card versions 
of Lantastic.
       File transfer programs
  To pay even less, get a file transfer program. The most popular 
one is Laplink, from the makers of Desklink. Discount dealers 
sell it for just $99. It includes a universal cable that you can 
attach to either serial or parallel ports.
  Even easier to use than Desklink, Laplink is a program that 
shows you which files are on each computer's hard disk and lets 
you copy files from one computer to the other. Laplink's only 
purpose is to copy files. If you're sitting at computer A and you 
want to run a program on computer B's hard disk, Desklink lets 
you run it immediately; Laplink requires that you copy the 
program to your own hard disk first.
  Laplink's main competitors are The Brooklyn Bridge ($75 from 
Telemart) and Paranet Turbo (just $55 from the publisher, Nicat 
Marketing Corp., 207-788 Beatty St., Vancouver BC V68 2M1 Canada, 
phone 604-681-3421).

            Good dealers
  If you're near Boston and want to install a Novell or Lantastic 
network, you can get help from a dealer called Aegis (in 
Watertown at 617-923-2500). The Aegis employees are friendly and 
competent. They usually charge just $65 per hour.
  Another Boston-area company to explore is Compuware Services. 
It has more experience and knowledge about how to set up large 
Novell networks for law offices and banks. It charges about $90 
per hour. It's in Needham Heights; phone Roy Krantz there at 
617-449-4400.
  If you're in another part of the world, ask around to find the 
best network dealer near you. If you have any experiences to 
share, please tell me!

            WAYS TO SHARE
                                         Instead of buying a LAN, 
try these cheaper ways to share. . . . 

                                                 Sharing a printer
                                         Suppose you and a 
colleague want to share a printer. Instead of buying a LAN, just 
unplug the printer's cable from one computer and reattach it to 
the other computer!
                                         If you're too lazy to 
unplug the printer's cable, another alternative is to buy a box 
called an AB switch box, which most dealers sell for about $15. 
Into the box, plug the printer's cable and two cables (called 
``A'' and ``B'') that go to the two computers. The switch box has 
a switch on it; if you flip the switch to position A, electricity 
flows between the printer and the computer attached to cable A; 
if you flip the switch to position B instead, the printer is 
electronically attached to B's computer.
                                         To let four people share 
a printer, get an ABCD switch box, which attaches the printer to 
four computers called A, B, C, and D. Dealers sell it for about 
$20.
                                         Hewlett-Packard, which 
makes the most popular laser printers, warns you that traditional 
switch boxes generate surges that damage laser printers. When 
switching, avoid damage by turning the laser printer off ___ or 
turning it off-line. Better yet, instead of using a traditional 
(mechanical) switch box, use an electronic switch box, which has 
no mechanical switches and doesn't generate any surges. The 
cheapest ones cost about $75.
                                         But since you can buy a 
cheap laser printer (such as the Panasonic 4410) for just $599, 
your best bet is to buy a separate cheap laser printer for each 
computer and forget switch boxes and networking!

                                                    Sneaker net
                                         Of all the networking 
schemes ever invented, my favorite is sneaker net, because it 
costs the least. To transfer data to your colleague's computer by 
using sneaker net, just copy the data onto a floppy disk, then 
put on your sneakers and run with your floppy to your colleague's 
desk!
                                         That method is also 
called the Nike net. In Boston, it's called the Reebok net. 
Besides being free, it's also the healthiest network for you, 
since it gives you some exercise!