       NOTES: This is a rather long file...but it should tickle the            
              funny bone of anyone who has ever used the first version         
              of ANY software product.  The documents you will see             
              were submitted to Ashton-Tate and the media by one               
              of the Beta Test Sites for dBaseIV.                              
                                                                               
              As you will see, some of the comments and observations           
              went right to the bone of software development, and              
              several of the big names in the dBase world got some             
              off handed mentions.                                             
                                                                               
              The following information has a copyright, and is                
              offered to all software users for use only if the                
              material is;                                                     
                        A. Credited to Two Way Communications                  
                                       of Maryland                             
                        B. Is not changed in any way.                          
                                                                               
             Read On...and enjoy                                               
                                                                               
        Contact:    TWO WAY COMMUNICATIONS OF MARYLAND                         
                    Thom LaCosta, (410) 625-7599                               
                                                                               
                   TWO-WAY COMMUNICATIONS IS A PLAYER                          
                                                                               
        BALTIMORE, MARYLAND, MAY 24, 1990 -- Two-Way Communications            
        today announced a new generation of Software Testing.                  
                                                                               
             Clyde Pasternak, CEO, announced that Two Way Communications       
        has launched Zeta Level Testing of various Software applications       
        for major developers.                                                  
                                                                               
             "Our thrust is to aid other developers in producing               
        applications that even a trained chimpanzee can successfully           
        operate", said Pasternak as he assisted "Guido", the senior            
        chimp in performing the famous                                         
        IF ZETA;do_Oh_Hell_Another_Version_Maybe _ThisOne_works;ENDIF.         
                                                                               
             Upon the successful run of the routine above, Guido turned to     
        the assembled masses and pronounced "BETACAGC".                        
                                                                               
             Pasternak proudly displayed the WOMPC Backup System his firm      
        developed to load various applications on Hard Drive storage           
        systems.  "WOMPC"(Write-Only-Memory Punch-Card) "Backup repre-         
        sents a major breakthrough for our Industry.  The system is            
        compatible with EVERYTHING!", shouted CEO Pasternak to an assem-       
        bled crowd of cheering software users and developers.                  
                                                                               
             Police officials, called by neighboring American Vaporware        
        Industries, stated that the rioting, looting and free sex began        
        as Pasternak unveiled Two Way Communications latest product,           
        IF generic;do Malatesta;ENDIF Stray Electron Generator.                
                                                                               
             Headquartered in Baltimore, Maryland, Two Way Communications      
        develops and markets microcomputer business applications and           
        advanced connectivity software.  The company's major product           
        categories include database management systems, word processing,       
        integrated decision support, spreadsheets, graphics, one-liners,       
        sexual support, collections, and software utilities.  Two Way          
        Communications has international operations in most countries          
        around the world, with products and collectors available in 20         
        languages in more than 50 countries.  The company also offers a        
        comprehensive line of training and support services for individu-      
        als, corporations and government agencies.                             
                                                                               
                                  #  #  #  #  #                                
                                                                               
        R  WOMPC is a registered trademark of Two-Way Communications           
                                                                               
                                 ----------------                              
