


      How Not To Get
      What You Shouldn't Buy!


                                             Gary Bryant




          I  wanted a Porsche.  Not a new Porsche,  just 
     a Porsche. I had  the chance to get one.  My wife thought 
     I was crazy.  My friends said I was nuts.  My parents, 
     being wonderfully  sensitive parents, just thought I was 
     being a little  foolish.  I still wanted a Porsche.

          From the ad, I  could see it was a great deal. Later 
     when I was able to  inspect it for myself, I could see 
     many unique qualities other people would be too modest 
     to point out.

          For one thing, this Porsche had already been in a  
     head-on collision.  The mechanic hadn't welded the front  
     bumper on quite straight, that was the only way I could  
     tell.  This saves me the agony of putting the beautiful 
     car through it's first traumatic experience.
       
          The  electrical problems were all cleared up now.  
     Judging from the number of screws left in the dash board, 
     every conceivable wire had been replaced. Lucky for me! 
     One less headache I'll have to contend with.
       
          So what if I  do have electrical trouble? No problem 
     pulling the dash off, now that there's no screws left in it!
       
          One great  feature of this car was that it only had 
     forty four thousand miles on it!  For a twelve year old 
     car, this  was remarkable!  The owner told me that it had 
     been  towed across the country just a month ago, and to 
     avoid  registering any 'false' mileage, he had the 
     speedometer disconnected.  What a guy!  

          The best thing about  this car was the paint job!  
     It was a bright  flashy red. A much nicer color than the 
     old dark blue it used  to be. I only wish they had covered 
     most of the dark blue when they painted it bright red. 
      
          How do you  make sure that you don't buy what you 
     really want? Take a good look!  


