A Scholar's Guide to NymphsVondham BarreshistoryghostsèÒ) µiz ÄùýA Scholar's Guide toýNymphsýùý I grew up a scholar, an ascetic devoted to knowledge, witheyes that saw beauty in a fascinating passage in a dustytome, love in the candle that allowed me to study onstarless nights, passion in a well-reasoned argument of along dead issue. I was a student who never graduated and wasnever expelled. Though I am not defending myself, I should further definemyself. I am not what you would call a prude. In fact, Ican speak of subjects in a detached way that would make themost debauched strumpet in Skyhawk blush with discoveredmodesty. I wrote an essay the House of Dibella as a scholar should, analysing the cult of beauty and physicalörelations as one might study crop rotation or the digestivesystem of an orc. The acquaintances of mine who wereinclined to wink and giggle I tolerated, but barely. With all that said, the reader will understand that when Idecided to study the language of the nymphs in order to studytheir character and culture, it was not a decision I made onaccount of prurience or lust. Scholars have historicallyneglected the nymph as a subject worthy of research, and thisneglect I attribute to prejudice. The sages with whom I havespoken on the subject have eloquently and intelligentlyformed sentences which, boiled down, can be translated as:"Nymphs look like beautiful, naked women who skip alongtra-la-la and like to have indisciminate sex. What could theyhave to say that would be of any interest?" So here I was faced with the most daunting of projects -- tostudy and research a species unstudied is a potentiallyrewarding challenge. If the subject was unstudied because thescientific community had deemed it beneath interest, apotentially rewarding but decidedly frustratingchallenge. If I spent months in serious study of theirlanguage and culture and additional time in their company,öand discovered nothing more than that the common prejudiceis correct, the term "laughing stock" would not do mejustice. So, excited and nervous for reasons unrelated to thenotoriously promiscuous behavior of my subjects, I began mystudies. I mastered the language, a melodious tongue thatsounds like wild elf and faerie but share no vocabulary withthem. I studied the lore, and found it to be on the whole,little more than pornography and crude conjecture. I next had to find a nymph. From my centralized location in the Imperial City, I foundit easy to send word around to several wellknown temples andguilds devoted to study in all the provinces. Not allreplies back were serious in nature, but one, from the Schoolof Julianos in Sentinel helped me considerably. ToMagister Oitos and his disciples, I here offer my sinceregratitude. Nymphs are extremely shy creatures, no matter what the moreobscene stories will tell you. No one who I've spoken with hashad one seek him or her out. Thus to speak with a nymph requiresöenergy and patience. Out of courtesy for her privacy, I will not here give thelocation of the little grotto off the coast of Hammerfellwhere I found the nymph. It took three months of patientwaiting, leaving presents where I knew the nymph would be,before the nymph stood still at my approach. I remember I was carrying a bouquet of purple and whitetetias, and she looked at them and then at me, and smiled. Theeffect of her smile was truly magical, I'm convinced. Herbody was, of course, perfect; her face lovely and serene; herhair like silk flame. But until she smiled, she was beautifulin the abstract, a perfect statue by a master. The smile madeher approachable and, thus, terrifying. "For you," I said, attempting my first utterance of Nymphto a real nymph. Her smile grew into a grin which became a giggle and then alaugh. The reader has doubtless heard of the silver laughterof the elves. The nymph's laugh is earthy and spontaneous,and very ... suggestive. "And what do you want from me in return, mortal?" she asked. "I am," There is no, I should say, known word in the Nymphlanguage for scholar, "I am a man who likes to learn things.öI want to learn things about you." And I did. Nymphs are the wisest, most wonderful creatures in Tamriel.My nymph, her name is Ayalea (a poor phonetic transcriptionof a word that sounds more like a light wind blowing througha small crack in a hollow chamber) and she knows more aboutthe behavior and varieties of the deep woodland creaturesthan the greatest wood elf scholar I ever met. She taught meof flowers and ghosts and creatures too fast and timid tohave ever been seen by man. Ayalea taught me how to learn for the very first time. How toopen my mind to all of the possibilities of life and how touse that knowledge, not just to hold in my cramped brain likea dragon's horde. If you ever meet a nymph, speak to her. * * * Editor's note: the writer Vondham Barres is no longer ascholar at the Imperial University. He deposited thismanuscript and disappeared from the civilized world. Hiscurrent wherebouts are unknown.ö ö