From: an98440@anon.penet.fi (George Washington Hayduke)
Reply-To: an98440@anon.penet.fi
Subject: Phuck the system 1
Date: Sun, 19 Jun 1994 23:53:20 UTC

       Well,  here are a few more ideas from the Hayduke Hole.  First of all,
a disclaimer.  Sometimes I call the ruling class in Amerika,  or their
servants the police,  "pigs".  I just want to apologize to all of the pigs
of the world,  because the swine is truly a more noble animal than a Pig.

#1)    Have any of you people seen the movie "They Live" by John Carpenter?
If you haven't,  go steal it from the video store.  Anyway,  in this movie,
this aliens are generating a signal that hides subliminal messages written
everywhere,  including writing on dollar bills "THIS IS YOUR GOD".  Anyway,
the people in that movie had secret sunglasses that made all this stuff
visible,  but in real life we can use different tools,  pens,  spray paint,
so get busy and start making all of Pig Amerika's subliminal messages
visible!

#2)  Ok,  what about all those great magazines like Kozmoploitan,  Rifle
and Gunman,  and Slime magazine?  Or those newspapers like The New York
Crimes or the Pig $treet Journal?  Or those idiots who want to sell you shit
that nobody in their right mind would want?  The people who give you free
certificates for 1-800-KOLLEKT,  and give you free shit for filling out
Kredit Kard applications?  How to handle them?  It's easy.

    Feed false information into the machine.  If you live in a big apartment
building or work in an office,  fill out Kredit Kard,  and subscription
applications for someone who lives at that address with no apartment or office
number.  Usually they leave the shit in the lobby where you or your Komrades
can pick up free kards,  free books,  magazines,  newspapers,  or CD's and
tapes.  See how far you can get away with filling in crazy names (Karl
Marx,  Malcom X,  Leon Trotsky,  Charlie Manson,  Evil Mann,  Dweizel Zappa,
The "Honorable" Elijah Muhhamad,  Richard Bigg (Bigg, Dick),  just go for it)

    Or have the shit sent to innocent people at unknown,  and sometimes
nonexistant addresses,  vacant lots,  homeless people who live in the park,
the police station,  the white house.  Anyone got Bill Klinton's SS# so we
can get him some MasterKards?  Or a subscription to Master Baiter magazine?

    So far as the dupes who give away free stuff,  just take it.  Go to the
booth with some co-conspirators,  and when one of your phreinds keeps them
busy,  the rest of you can grab a whole crate of certificates for PHREE
1-800-KOLLEKT,  or boxes of AT&T travel mugs,  or boxes full of one-pound
bags of S&M's or some other kind of junk food which you can stuff your
faces with,  or give to homeless people,  or just leave the box open in a
schoolyard with a note attached that "these are the ones that have been
coated with LSD".

#3)  We have a Pig in town who owns a convenience store and most of the
rest of the town.  So,  how to phuck the Pig?  Well,  we found a good
way to attack convenience stores,  employee break rooms,  and anyone who
has a microwave oven.  What you do is get a two liter bottle of Koke
(maybe fill the rest of the space with little bottles of Koke),  and put it
in the microwave,  set the timer for about ten minutes, and walk away.  If
you know the clerk and he trusts you and he's real busy,  and they don't
have good security cameras,  you can even stand around and watch it blow up,
otherwise take precautions against witnesses and security cameras,  and run
like hell.

    In several minutes,  depending on the power of the microwave,  the coke
will be heated to boiling,  and it will want to expand,  so it will exceed
the pressure the bottle can take and will explode.  Hayduke labs tested
a large number of coke bottles under a similar overpressure condition (caused
by introducing a small amount of liquid nitrogen into the bottle and closing
the cap) and found that about 30% of the time the cap blows off,  and the
rest of the time,  the bottle is torn apart.  Either way you get a suprisingly
loud explosion with a shock wave capable of blowing the door off the oven,
and otherwise seriously damaging it and things around it.  Also,  two liters
of boiling Koke will get spilled in and around the microwave causing an
awful mess to clean.

    We've also speculated that one might be able to do something like this
filling the coke bottle with gasolene (use a metal cap to make sparks for
ignition) or paint thinner,  or prehaps some kind of a poison.  Because of
the danger to life involved,  Hadyke labs has not tested this at this time,
but if anyone out there does try it,  please fill us in on the results.

    A similar idea we've had is to put a can of spray paint or WD-40 or
something like that into a dryer at a self-service laundromat owned by Mr. Pig.
Between the shaking and the heat,  the can should explode from the pressure,
and all you need is a little ignition source like a spark (we were thinking of
putting a candle right under the outside vent),  and you can turn the
dryer into an air-fuel bomb.  Since this kind of device is notoriously
unpredictable,  and because all life (including human and Pig life) is
valuable to us,  we haven't tried this just in case we get lucky and bring
the whole building down.  If anyone does try this under safe circumstances,
please send us the results.

    Other good tricks with Koke bottles is to fill them with something
cryogenic like dry ice or liquid nitrogen to turn them into amazingly loud
but otherwise low-harm (unless they go off in a very small space) bombs.
Well,  the plastic bottles do no harm,  glass bottles will fill somebody's
ass with glass if they are nearby.  Cryogenic bombs are very good for
leaving in wastebaskets in offices and classrooms,  as well as Pig Stys (police
stations).  Also good for leaving around Nation of Islam,  Campus Crusade
for Christ,  and anti-abortion rallies.  These bombs are so loud that people
will think it's a real bomb,  and you'll suddenly see a bunch of bow-tied
hatemongers start scrambling for a gun to go see who shot Malik Abdul
Shazzam Louie Elijah Farrakahn.

     These bombs don't take very much cryogenic material,  just a few fluid
ounces of liquid nitrogen or a little bit of dry ice.  Using more LN2 produces
a device which can quickly lower the temperature in a small volume,  which
might result in cryogenic damge to people and property,  and also,  on a
humid day,  can produce an impressive cloud of fog instantly.  These kind of
bombs also take a surprisingly long time to go off,  about 45-60 minutes,
so you should make a couple ones for practice first,  trying different
variables,  like adding a little water to the dry ice and stuff like that.

    I don't reccomend you practice in a residential neighborhood though,
because these things are LOUD.  We shot some off in a vacant lot,  and
some neighbors who were about 25 meters away thought somebody was trying to
blow up their house and called the Pigs.  We still had one bomb outstanding,
and we afraid it go off when the Pigs were still there,  but they left just
before the last one blew up,  and these people came out and started
inspecting their house for bomb damage,  probably afraid that they were
going to get blown up too.


     





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