==Phrack Inc.== Issue XIV, File 7 of 9 ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN PWN ^*^ ^*^ Phrack World News ^*^ ^*^ PWN Special Edition I PWN ^*^ ^*^ PWN Edited, Compiled, and Written PWN ^*^ by Knight Lightning ^*^ PWN PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ PWN ^*^ Welcome to the first Phrack World News "Special Edition." In this issue we have two parts. The first section deals with possible news stories of the future after the weekend of June 19-21... SummerCon '87! The second section is a presentation of acronyms that never were, but should be. All posts have been taken from Metal Shop Private prior to its takedown in June. Posts have been edited for this presentation. PWN Special Edition is not a regular series and will only appear when the author deems it necessary to release one. Please keep in mind that all material in this file was written several weeks prior to SummerCon '87 and therefore the events chronicled here are supposed fiction and comedy. Thank you -KL. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Name: Phantom Phreaker SummerCon Prank Backfires June 31, 1987 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, the SummerCon went over well, except when the convention attendees stole every payphone in the building and placed them in front of Taran King's hotel room, rang the door, and shouted "Room Service." Needless to say, Taran King is now in jail until he can pay for all the stolen payphones. _______________________________________________________________________________ Name: Knight Lightning Phreak/Hack World Shut Down! June 21, 1987 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It happened yesterday when John Maxfield accompanied by Ralph Meola, Richard Proctor, Dan Pasquale, Edward P. Nowicki, and several members of the FBI, Secret Service, National Security Agency, and local baggers 402 literally invaded SummerCon '87, the annual phreak/hack reunion. It has been reported that a total of 97 suspects have been placed in custody with crimes linking them to jay walking, loitering, curfew violation, disturbing the peace, and belching in excessive amounts. Details are sketchy but it appears that it all started when a very drunk pair of twins decided to visit the local McDonald's and demanded a COSMOS Sundae with passwords on the side. When a very confused McDonald's employee refused, they became agitated and whipped out a blue box using it to open the "trunks" of all the cars in the parking lot and then finally throwing it at an employee. A mad crowd of people rushed to the Best Western Executive International Inn and tried to storm the building when the other previously mentioned uninvited guests arrived. Final remarks from the twins... "So who wants to discuss CAMA?" Information provided by F. R. Newsline Services and on the scene reporting by Broadway Hacker (arrested for attempted prostitution). _______________________________________________________________________________ Name: Thomas Covenant SummerCon '87 "Laugh Riot"; Numerous Phreaks Still Missing June 25, 1987 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (St Louis, PP) Authorities are still searching for the nearly 100 missing telecom enthusiasts who gathered in town over the weekend for a convention. Apparently the missing parties were sitting around, undergoing the intake of many assorted consciousness altering chemicals, when a strange young man with shoulder length hair and wearing a Judas Priest jacket appeared. He forced them all into a white 1957 Chevy pickup and took off, leaving only Evil Jay and Thomas Covenant behind. Evil Jay was quoted as saying it was a "laugh riot." Thomas Covenant had nothing to say as he is in shock from the incident and currently undergoing treatment at the St Louis Home for the Terminally Bewildered. _______________________________________________________________________________ Name: Phantom Phreaker Computer Enthusiasts Infected With The AIDS Virus June 22, 1987 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From St. Louis Post Dispatch They called it "SummerCon," a gathering of "phone phreaks" and computer hackers who are loosely organized around a network of computer bulletin boards. However, tragedy struck the meeting when the hacker named Evil Jay tricked another hacker, Suicidal Nightmare, into entering the room belonging to Broadway Hacker. Suicidal Nightmare was found in the parking lot with a torn anus. As if this wasn't bad enough, Broadway Hacker then went wild and began trying to molest the smallest hackers there. He could be seen chasing Kango Kid while screaming about a flaming mailbox and rubbing his genital area. Other problems arose from the hackers meeting, several people were arrested for possession of cannibus and illegal possession of alcohol. The other charges included: o Intoxicated Pedestrian o Disturbing the Peace o Contributing to the delinquency of a minor o Failure to yield at stop sign o No turn signal o Theft of telephones o Verbally harrassing telephone operators As you can see, these computer 'hackers' have no morals and decency and should not be allowed to meet. (C) Post Dispatch 2050 Written by Jack Meoff _______________________________________________________________________________ Name: Knight Lightning Phreak World Crippled; SummerCon Causes Despair June 22, 1987 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Today the phreak world was astounded and dealt a horrifying blow as all the phreaks who attended SummerCon, left with their entire phreak knowledge literally erased from their minds due to an excess of drinking and other unknown mind altering substances. It is unknown as to if these effects are temporary or a lifetime destruction. Anarchy World Takes Charge June 23, 1987 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MetaliBashers Inc., have become the new "LOD" of the modem world since all of the LOD members no longer can even remember what LOD stands for (in fact no one can, and forget I mentioned it!). With MBI taking charge, the new wave of the modem world has turned strictly anarchy, although there are rumors of various pirating organizations beginning to unload new wares soon. Investigators Lose Jobs! June 24, 1987 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ John Maxfield reportedly lost ALL contracts today when it was discovered that the phreak/hack community was completely destroyed thus no one needed protection from them. He has now taken a job with the local sanitation management firm to help figure out what to do with all the garbage now that the phreak community wasn't stealing 1/3 of it anymore. _______________________________________________________________________________ Name: Evil Jay Suicidal Nightmare - History June 23, 1987 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Suicidal Nightmare met death head on when Evil Jay knocked on his door pretending to be a lineman checking on his line. Once inside, Jay proceeded to swing a hand set at him with amazing accuracy. Once dragged outside, Jay then proceeded to tie Suicidal naked to a tree and call the ever-lovin' Broadway Hacker over to do his stuff. Jay was last heard pleading insanity. Suicidal Nightmare remains in intensive care, and Broadway Hacker is happy. _______________________________________________________________________________ That is the last of the news reports, now on with "Those Amazing Acronyms...!" _______________________________________________________________________________ Name: Doom Prophet FUCK-Facilities Utilization Control Kitchen. A really hot office. They keep backups of all systems per a LATA, or in special cases, the entire BOC area, along with user logs and passwords. They use the CUNTLICK system to in|esface with SHIT, explained momentarily. They are difficult to reach as no one knows their number, and anyone calling it has to enter a special queue dispenser where he enters routing information to reach the FUCK ACD. The FUCK technicians answer as normal subscribers and you have to tell them a codeword. PENIS-Plant Engineering Network Information System. Used by the PMS to deal with outside plant details and layout maps. CUNTLICK-Computer Utilities Network In the Control Kitchen. Used to sensor with SHIT. SHIT-Supreme Hardware Inventory Totals. Self explanatory. CRAP-Customer Repair Analysis Service. They use PENIS to supply PMS with info. PISS-Primary Intertoll Switching Servicemen. Co-ordinate classes 1 through 4 toll offices and monitor the STP's. BITCH-Building Installation Table Channel. Used by SHIT technicians to obtain new switch and office status. SCAB-Switching Cable Analysis Bureau. They work with PMS for trunk testing and maintenance. The systems they use are FART and DOPAMINE. BASTARD-Box Accessible System To Aid Real D00ds. A special in band NPA with full OSC support for blue boxers to experiment within legally. Only operating in special areas. _______________________________________________________________________________ Name: Phantom Phreaker DOGSHIT-Division Operations Group SHIT (see above post). DOGSHIT is like SHIT, except that DOGSHIT is in a division. CATPISS-Centralized Automatic Tandem Priorities Interexchange Support System. Self-explanitory. BEER-Bell Electrical Engineering Research COOL-Computerized Operations On Loops _______________________________________________________________________________ Name: Taran King BOOGER-Bell Operational Office for Generation of ESS Reports. Self Explanitory STAN-Spanish Tacos And Nachos. This support group, Californian based, maintains food services for all superior employees (all employees). NATE-Nacho And Taco Emissary. This department secretly interfaces STAN with the rest of the network due to the STAN group's inability to fit in with society. **Due to divestiture, NATE and STAN are no longer part of the network** IL DUCE-Not an acronym, but the janitorial services department of the network. PUMPKIN-Peripheral Unit Modulator Phor Kitchen Installations of NATE. This group is in charge of interfacing kitchen activities through Project Genesis. See RAPE. BRRR-RING-The official word for the sound an AT&T phone makes receiving an incoming call. BANANA-Basic Analog Network Analog Network Analog (No wonder they went digital) RAPE-Red Afro-PUMPKIN Enthusiast. This group, led by Peter, cheers IL DUCE while he sweeps the floors. SCOOP-Secondary Command Output Only Procedure. This converts all text to lower case. It is a function used in most Bell computers along with LEX. LEX-Lengthy Explanitory Xlations. This program, found alongside SCOOP, converts all lowercase text, from SCOOP, into upper case and 40 columns surrounded by "$"s. ** Warning! Never leave SCOOP and LEX running simultaneously or you will surely cause L666 to occur. ** L666-The warning message generated by computers indicating endless Loops of conflicting jobs. This also indicates that everything is fucked. See LOKI. LOKI-Life Over-Kill Inscentive. If you find this error message on your computer, do not reboot the computer, but be sure to reboot something. _______________________________________________________________________________ Name: The Disk Jockey SNATCH-Senses Nodes And Traps Code Hackers TITS-Telephone Involved in Tandom Skipping PUBIC-Plastered Uniforms Brought Inside CO (An employee infraction) RAD-Receive Analog Department DISC-Deadbeats Instinctively Scanning for Carriers LAP-Local Area Payphone Or use the codewords that Linemen and Telco employees use.... This Means This ---- ---------- "OHFUCKNIGS" "I'm trapped in a phone booth in a black neighborhood" "FIDOFUCK" "A customer's pet dog has me trapped up a pole" "HOMEBONE" "I got laid while doing a customer's installation" "SNOOZEBOX" "I'm sleeping, but saying I'm fixing little green boxes" _______________________________________________________________________________ This concludes Phrack World News Special Edition. I hope you enjoyed it. If you have any comments or ideas be sure to get in touch with me or Taran King. :Knight Lightning Knight Lightning =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Downloaded From P-80 International Information Systems 304-744-2253 12yrs+