Date: Sun, 26 Jul 92 2:33:02 CDT From: bei@DOGFACE.AUSTIN.TX.US(Bob Izenberg) Subject: File 1--Day (in court) of The Dead >From: Bandit, Shylock and Trackshoes A Kinda Professional Corporation >To: Homo Sapiens Dear Infringing Species, It has come to our attention that you have been utilizing anatomical developments pioneered by several of our clients, the dinosaurs, in your everyday activities. This letter is to notify you that the dinosaurs consider these features to be an infringement of dinosaur development, which has been a documented fact in the scientific community for decades. Said features are proprietary to the dinosaurs, and their duplication represents a substantial harm to the saurian reputation and ability to survive and thrive in a challenging evolutionary climate. This letter is to formally advise you that the process of bipedal locomotion, hereafter called "walking", is an activity the dinosaurs are prepared to demonstrate that they have employed for thousands of years. Continued use of your legs for locomotion on land will be considered actionable. In addition, any evolutionary developments that you may have reason to believe were first present in the dinosaurs must no longer be used by your species. This includes all digestive and reproductive organs, and much of your circulatory system. The dinosaurs will vigorously defend their hard-won evolutionary developments by any and all means available to them, including but not limited to injunctive relief, monetary damages, and gobbling alive, against all members of your species and any evolutionary descendants. We trust that you fully understand the dinosaur position on this matter. Sincerely, BB/file Before you dismiss the imaginary letter above as completely without relevance, consider the Bellcore letter to the editor of 2600 magazine that was recently reprinted in these virtual pages. Also consider the early snarls from AT&T lawyers directed at the authors of the BSD NET2 software distribution. Those authors, you see, have written something much like the UNIX operating system that AT&T markets, and have made the source code for it available for one-tenth the cost of AT&T's version, and, in the case of one version written specifically for the Intel 80386 processor, for free. They have taken the first tentative bites out of the Thunder Lizard's food supply, and the mad, unreasoning blood-lust that overcomes the dinosaur at such moments cannot obscure the handwriting on the cave wall. Of course, the day of the dinosaurs was long gone by the time that our species first trod upon the Earth... but even in this day and age, a fossil living in a museum can still get a good lawyer. The Dead rise up, and are sworn in. It is a shame that the reputation for innovation that once was the hallmark of AT&T and Bellcore has come to be so dominated by lawyers thriving in at atmosphere of comparative technical innocence. The quest for product viability and excellence may not have been abandoned, but in some sectors it has been supplanted by a desire to seal the product up in a black box: A black box that can't be explained, examined, or improved upon... just paid for in perpetuity. Downloaded From P-80 International Information Systems 304-744-2253