_______________________________________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ ((___)) ((___)) [ x x ] cDc communications [ x x ] \ / presents... \ / (` ') (` ') (U) (U) HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS by Dr. Seuss >>> A CULT Publication......1987 <<< -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc- _______________________________________________________________________________ Continuing in the fine literary traditions of the legendary CAT IN THE HAT and GREEN EGGS AND HAM, cDc brings you another Dr. Seuss classic for your enjoyment. Just in time for the holiday season, you can journey back to a time before the dark set in...a simpler time...a time when you didn't live in constant fear of feds since your hobby has been deemed illegal...a time before your obsession with death and cows... -Swamp Ratte' 12/4/87 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Every Who Down in Who-ville Liked Christmas a lot... But the Grinch, Who lived just north of Who-ville, Did NOT! The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all May have been that his heart was two sizes too small. But, Whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes, He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos, Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown At the warm lighted windows below in their town. For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath. "And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer. "Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!" Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming, "I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!" For, Tomorrow, he knew... ..All the Who girls and boys Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their toys! And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise! That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast. And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! They would feast on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast-beast Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least! And THEN They'd do something He liked least of all! Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing. They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing! They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd SING! SING! SING! SING! And the more the Grinch thought of this Who-Christmas-Sing, The more the Grinch thought, 'I must stop this whole thing!" "Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now! "I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! ...But HOW?" Then he got an idea! An awful idea! THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA! "I know just what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat. And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat. And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick! "With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!" "All I need is a reindeer..." The Grinch looked around. But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found. Did that stop the old Grinch...? NO! The Grinch simply said, "If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!" So he called his dog, Max. Then he took some red thread And he tied a big horn on the top of his head. THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks On a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up old Max. Then the Grinch said, "Giddap!" And the sleigh started down Toward the homes where the Whos Lay a-snooze in their town. All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air. All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care When he came to the first little house on the square. "This is stop number one," the old Grinchy Claus hissed And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist. Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch. But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch. He got stuck only once, for a moment or two. Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row. "These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!" Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant, Around the whole room, and he took every present! Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums! Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums! And he stufed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly, Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimbley! Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast! He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast! He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash. Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash! Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee. "And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree!" And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. He tuned around fast, and he saw a small Who! Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was not more than two. The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who daughter Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water. She stared at the Grinch and said, "Santy Claus, why, "Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?" But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick! "Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied, "There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side. "So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. "I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here." And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed. And when Cindy-Lou Who went to bed with her cup, He went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up! Then the last thing he took Was the log for their fire! Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar. On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire. And the one speck of food That he left in the house Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse. Then He did the same thing To the other Whos' houses Leaving crumbs Much too small For the other Whos' mouses! It was quarter past dawn... All the Whos, still a-bed, All the Whos, still a-snooze When he packed up his sled, Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings! The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings! Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Crumpit, He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it! "Pooh-Pooh to the Whos!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming. "They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming! "They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do! "Their mouths will hang open a minute or two "Then the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO! "That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "That I simply MUST hear!" So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear. And he did hear a sound rising over the snow. It started in low. Then it started to grow... But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry! It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY! He stared down at Who-ville! The Grinch popped his eyes! Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise! Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, Was singing! Without any presents at all! He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME! Somehow or other, it came just the same! And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow, Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so? "It came without ribbons! It came without tags! "It came without packages, boxes or bags!" And then he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! "Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. "Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!" And what happened then...? Well...in Who-ville they say That the Grinch's small heart Grew three sizes that day! And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight, He wizzed with his load through the bright morning light And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast! And he... ...HE HIMSELF...! The Grinch carved the roast beast! =============================================================================== 1987 cDc communications by Dr. Seuss 12/4/87-23 All Rights Worth Shit  Downloaded From P-80 International Information Systems 304-744-2253