One night a few years back, a Phone Company vice-president attempted to place a long distance person-to-person call from his home and found out just how frustrating dealing with his company can be.
"This is the operator. Anything I can help you with?" Her voice was raspy. Apparently she was having a bad night. The vice-president and general manager gave her he necesary information she needed to complete his call. "Could you give all that to me again, a little bit slower this time?" So he did, but the exasperation was plainly evident in his voice. "Did you know that you can dial this call yourself?" He replied that he did, but that he wanted her to do it for him. "Anything you say. But you'd save a lot of money if you dialed it yourself." He repeated that he wanted her to dial it for him. "Some people never learn." She probably didn't mean for him to h ear her last remark, but he did and demanded to know her name. He threatened to have her head on a tray. Finally he even told her who she was speaking to. And once again, he demanded that she give him her name. "Wouldn't you like to know." With that, the line went dead.
It's comforting to know that other people, even phone company executives, catch hell every now and then, just like we do. And this illustration illuminates one of the evils of the telephone that obscene callers have known about for ye ars. The total anonymity of it all. If an operator or a service rep or a plant man feels like it, he or she can roast you verbally and there's very little you can do about it. True enough, such blatant discourtesy is rare, but it does happen, and there are ways you can retaliate and get satisfaction.
If an operator is not everything you think she should be, immediatly ask to speak to her S.A. The service assistant is a non management person who mediates disputes between operators in her group, helps w ith dialing problems, and distributes the "mark sense" tickets, the computer cards operators use to keep a record of each long distance call they handle. The S.A. has no real authority, but she takes a lot of the load off the person who does, the group chief operator. To an operator, the group chief is a mother figure, ally, and symbol of the all-powerful company all rolled into one. The group chief has the power of life and death in her kingdom, and a demand for an audience with her from an unhappy custome r brings an unruly operator's heart to her throat. You may not get the privilage of actually talking to a group chief, that's what the S.A. is for, but the mere knowledge that you know that there is such an animal can straighten out the most obdurate operator.
Service reps generally don't give the customers a hard time for two very good reasons. 1. They have to give you their name before the conversation begins, and 2. the call itself is often bugged. Three hundred and sixty-four days a year, you will seldom hear a disrespectful word from your service rep. But on December 24, the service observers usually go home early. It's generally the slowest day of the year, and no holds are barred. If you give the service rep a hard time, she's got a whole year's worth of frustration to take out on you. If you happen to get a harpy, demand to speak to her B.O.S. The Buisness Office Supervisor will generally stand behind her "girls," but in unusual cases she can and will have the offending service rep tarred and fe athered.
The men you most often see are the linemen, the gallant knights of the Phone Kingdom. And there's a very good reason for their nobility: they're right up there where you can hit them if they give you trouble. Usually the only time a lineman will give you trouble is after your dog has mangled his leg. If you should have a problem with him, the installation foreman is the person to talk to. The installation foreman is what the group chief and the B.O.S. are to their respective sets. If you have reason to suspect that this person may not be from the Phone Company, ask to see his I.D. card. It has his picture on it, his signature, and the company logo.
In a summary, it's not what you threaten to do, it's whom you threaten to talk to that gives you an edge. The Phone Company has a jargon all it's own, and the use of it by a mere mortal suggests that you know the ropes.
By the same token, there are times when the phone people really put it together and do an ouytstanding job. At times lik e that, it never hurts to put in a good word for the excellent service rendered. The word will get around, and you'll be surprised how well you'll be taken care of in the future.
Ok d00ds, that about wraps it up for this file. Remember, phreaking is active, not passive. You're only a phreak if you get out there and do stuff. Otherwise, you're just a poser. Phreak in peace kids.