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Urine Box
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  Now at last, Underground_Elite brings you these ultrasophisticated box plans
  for, well, uh, I guess we just kind of bring them for you. After many months
  of keeping this puppy secret, we here at Underground_Elite have finally come
  to the consensus that the public oughtn't be kept in the dark from the wrath
  of Ma Bell, that great telephone company in the sky.

  The Urine Box (tm) basically creates a capacitative disturbance between the
  ring and tip wires in another's telephone headset. I have utilized this to the
  distinct advantage of the operator of the Urine box and to the disadvantage
  of the other party involved, hopefully you won't get caught.

  Without further a doo, wire this schematic together. Copper wire (or gold)
  will work best due to its lessened resistance. It might be a good idea to
  keep the wiring cooled, to further reduce current loss.


                47k ohms         ---------------         .01 uF
    !\    !------/\/\/-----------! SPST switch !----!------)!---------!
    ! \   !                      ---------------    !                 !
    !  !--!                                         !                 ! +
    !  !----------<-!-----!--------/\/\/------------!             ----------
    ! /         PVP diode !        470k ohms                      ! 12 VDC !
    !/                    !             _                         ----------
                          !            /          .005 uF             ! -
  SPKR 20W                !-------/\/\/\/\/---------)!----<-!---------!
                          !         _/ VR1 (see note1)    PVP diode   !
                          !                                           !
                      to RING                                      to TIP
                     (your phone)                                 (your phone)

  note1 - VR1 is a three position variable resistor, enabling settings
  equivalent to 100k ohms, 210k ohms, and 320k ohms (all 110k apart).

  note2 - The diodes are silicon-germanium based bipolar RF reducers to limit
  current polarity reversal. If these are placed backwards the box will not
  work as intended.

  note3 - The speaker will emit low tones when the SPST is closed (ie the box
  is "ON") and when the settings of VR1 are moved to higher resistance the tone
  level will increase.

  note4 - Place setting evaluation symbols to represet the lowest resistance
  setting for VR1 to be "STEAM", the second (210) to be "MELT", the third (320)
  to be "VAPORIZE".

  Usage of box.

  Use in place of your normal telephone receiver. Do not attempt usage as a
  regular phone. Call victim by sending tones through speaker with tape recorded
  noise. Use touch tone sounds as pulse requires electric disruption of line,
  not just audio. After answer (listen in on SPKR 1) set VR1 to desired strength
  and let her go. Victim will feel unpleasant sensations in his/her head and
  will undergo a series of high intensity seizures, not unlike epilepsy, and
  jointly proportional to VR-1 setting and time induced.

  Settings. (The Fun Part)

  STEAM. A short -poof- of water vapor condenses within the victim's earpiece,
         rendering the telephone short circuited and the victim quite dazed.
  MELT.  Causes structural phase change of receiver (usually reinforced
         ureaformaldehyde plastic material - high tech). This has the unpleasant
         bonus of removing the victim's hand.
  VAPORIZE. If the victim is particularly nasty, this setting will remove his
         upper anatomy (if box is enabled properly, that is!). Continued usage
         of this setting is generally not recommended, as death or other serious
         injury will accompany.

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