\documentstyle[12pt]{article}
\setlength{\oddsidemargin}{0in}
\setlength{\textwidth}{6.5in}
\setlength{\topmargin}{-1in}
\setlength{\textheight}{9in}
\begin{document}
\parindent=0pt
\setcounter{page}{1}

\title{Blurb From The Bard}
\author{}
\date{}
\maketitle

\large \em {\huge S}alubrious salutations,
gentle reader, and welcome to a fifth,
flagellant issue of \underline{The Guildsman}, that gregarious
guttersnipe of a zine, which having quaffed the proverbial {\em Potion
of Diminution}, is now merely half the journal it used to be\ldots
Sniff\ldots Gone are the days of Navero and his argumentative
band of bewildered dragon-slayers\ldots Sniff\ldots Gone is
Harrison, Neuro, and Killroy (who was that guy anyway?)\ldots
Gone is Dania\ldots Sniff\ldots Wah!!! Sob! Slurp! Pttthhhh!\\

Yes\ldots the finance committee has had its way with us (a
potentially pleasant experience, one should think), and the
Guildsman seems to be winding down to its sudden if uneventful
demise unless some brave, wanna-be-an editor dashes foolishly
from the woodwork: {\em ``Ta-da! Here I am to save the day! I'm Justin
Tyme!"} Chorus: {\em ``Yes, but who are you?"}\\

In any event, having once more stupefied his prospective
readership with his mis-timed jokes which were just plain bad to
begin with, the dejected Bard did crawleth under some strange rock
and sputter forth such words that did shake the Oerth and
splinter to crooked shambles all the plentiful planes of
existence (or something to that effect): {\bf ``Let the games begin!!"}\\

\begin{tabbing}
\ \ \ \ \ --- \={\em Jim Vassilakos}\\
\>{\em Guildsman Editor}\\
\>jimv@ucrmath.ucr.edu\\
\>ucsd!ucrmath!jimv
\end{tabbing}

\end{document}

