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\title{Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way \\ Chapters One Score to Two Dozen}
\author{\copyright1991 Daniel Parsons}
\date{dparsons@jarthur.claremont.edu \\ Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA}
\maketitle
\setcounter{page}{19}

{\it
{\Large T}he gamester's favorite alterboy returns for another five chapters
of action and adventure as the Navero Saga continues.\\}


\begin{center}
{\huge --- XX ---}\\
\end{center}

\begin{center}
\begin{tabular}{l}
                Navero, male human cleric, 3rd level\\
                Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 3rd level\\
                Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier, 3rd level\\
                Kortul, male human fighter, 2nd level\\
                Razuli, male human fighter, 2nd level\\
                Arlor, male dwarf thief, 2nd level\\
\end{tabular}
\end{center}


And so, our heroes entered the great city of Propyla for the first time.  It
was much what you would expect of a relatively new city --- still mostly clean,
tolerable citizenry, and the good yet inexpensive accommodations.  There were
several inns and taverns, a sizable marketplace, an upper class district,
government buildings, and a Street of Learning --- a small street in the rich
part of town, with sages and magicians selling their services; also, one
magic shop.  The city had several squares, as opposed to one, with message
posts and public fountains --- an altogether hospitable place.

        The party split fairly early on, each of us going about our own
business.  Rourk found an armorer capable of repairing plate, and a limner
to repaint his shield device.  Navero wandered to the religious areas, where
he found a church of the Correct and Unalterable Way and spent the remainder
of the afternoon and evening.  Arlor just wandered away.  Dania, Kortul, and
Razuli all congregated to the magic shop, to see what sort of goodies they
could find.

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Wow!  Look at all this stuff!"
\item[Kortul:] *grunt*  {\em Inspects swords on one wall.}
\item[Shop Keeper:] {\em sneers in a whiny sort of way} ``{\em May I help} you?"
\item[Razuli:] ``Hey there!  Got anything we could use?"
\item[Keeper:] ``I wouldn't know, {\em sir}.  Were you looking for
          anything {\em specific}?"
\item[Dania:] ``What do these wands do?"
\item[Razuli:] ``You wanna see a wand of fireballs, wizzerd?  I got one I know
         you'll like."
\item[Keeper:] ``{\em That} is a Wand of {\em Mineral} Detection, {\em ma'am}.
        5000gp."
\item[Dania:] ``Oh." {\em Drops wand, looks at other things.}
\item[Kortul:] ``Not many weapons here."
\item[Keeper:] ``No; there's {\em little} demand for them here;
         {\em most} that make their way
         here {\em are}, shall we say, somewhat {\em used}.
         Weapons are in the back, as
         are {\em armors}, and certain of the commoner potions."
\item[Dania:] ``Hey, look at that mace.  You think Navero would like that?"
\item[Keeper:] ``That is a Mace of {\em disruption},
      a very fine item and a rarity indeed.
      It was {\em only} through great fortune that I was able to get it at all.
      It's function is to destroy those of the living dead whom it hits,
      {\em completely} and {\em utterly}, down to the
      last vestiges of their souls.
      I am {\em sure} your friend would love to have it."
\item[Razuli:] ``Great!  Then he can take out all the undead.  I can just see them,
         shivering in terror, as The Great Navero appears!  How much?"
\item[Keeper:] ``60,000gp."
\item[Dania:] ``Gaak!"
\item[Kortul:] ``Bit expensive."
\item[Keeper:] ``Sorry {\em sir}, but I cannot accept {\em any} less.
         And please do not {\em lean} on
         those carpets, you {\em may} stain them."
\item[Dania:] ``What's this little statue?"
\item[Keeper:] ``{\em sigh} A Figurine of Wondrous Power. 30,000gp. I {\em perceive} that
         you are on a budget. Perhaps you would {\em like} to look at something
         {\em else}, more in your range?"
\item[Dania:] ``Uh\ldots  can we see what kinds of potions you have?"
\item[Keeper:] ``Certainly. {\em sigh} {\em Anything} to please a customer. {\em George}?"
\item[George:] {\em From back room} ``Yes?"
\item[Keeper:] ``Could you tell these {\em wonderful} people what
         kinds of {\em potions} we currently stock?"
\item[George:] ``We stock: MegaHeals of all varieties, potions of diminution, potions
         of growth, one  of love {\em a hot item!}, potions of\ldots"
\item[Dania:] ``What's a MegaHeal?"
\item[Keeper:] ``{\em sigh!} I wonder {\em how} long you have been
         {\em out} of {\em town}.  A MegaHeal is
         a variety of {\em healing} potion, which I
         {\em suppose} would make it an
         attractive item to those of {\em your} profession.
         Normally, a healing
         potion may cure {\em less}, or {\em more},
         but a MegaHeal will consistently
         restore the {\em same} amount of damage.
         It is unaffected by the {\em purity}
         of the drinker's body, or {\em any} of
         those other factors which make the
         ordinary, garden variety of healing potion so very unpredictable
         and undesirable."  {\em This means: They cure 8 hit points, not 1-8.
         Megaheals come as 8, 10, 16, and 32 pointers.}
\item[Kortul:] ``More expensive?"
\item[Keeper:] ``That {\em used} to be the case, but the {\em never}
         techniques have reduced the
         cost to a much more {\em reasonable} level, which may make them more
         {\em attractive} for you."
\item[Razuli:] ``How about crossbow bolts?"
\item[Keeper:] ``George?  Do we have any {\em crossbow bolts} in stock?"
\item[George:] ``Light, or Heavy?"
\item[Keeper:] ``{\em Light} or heavy, {\em sir}?"
\item[Razuli:] ``Light, with barbed heads."
\item[Keeper:] ``George?  {\em light}, with barbed {\em heads}."
\item[George:] ``Sorry, we do not have any quarrels or arrows in stock."
\item[Kortul:] ``Any two-handed swords?"
\item[Keeper:] ``{\em George}?  Do we stock any {\em Two}-Handed Swords?"
\item[George:] ``We have one two-handed claymore, which is\ldots +1, +4 vs. reptiles."
\item[Keeper:] ``One two-\ldots"
\item[Kortul:] ``Heard.  Price on Lizard sword?"
\item[Keeper:] ``{\em Hmph!}  George?  What {\em is} the list price on
          the {\em lizard} sword?"
\item[George:] ``The list price is\ldots  5000gp."
\item[Kortul:] ``Trade-in?"
\item[Keeper:] ``{\em sigh!}  Yes, we {\em accept} trade-ins.  Are you speaking
         of {\em that}?  Well,
         let me {\em see}.
         Hmm\ldots  Fairly standard enchantments, nothing {\em special}.  
         {\em with} this, I {\em believe} we could settle for\ldots 3000gp."
\item[Kortul:] ``1500."
\item[Keeper:] ``{\em George}?  Bring the {\em lizard sword} out
         here that the customer may
         inspect it before purchase.
         I {\em assume} you wish to do so, {\em sir}."
\end{description}

{\em Sword floats out of the back room, sets down on counter.}

\begin{description}
\item[Keeper:] ``{\em Thank} you, George.  I {\em believe} you
          can see that this fine item\ldots"
\end{description}

{\em Much haggling.  Settle on 2300gp, Kortul is pretty much cleaned out.}

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``I think I'll just get a MegaHeal or so.  That way, we don't have to
        depend so much on Nav."
\item[Keeper:] ``{\em Sound} thinking, {\em ma'am}.  Would you be wanting
         the {\em economy} size, or
         one of the more {\em effective} ones?"
\item[Dania:] ``Uh, economy."
\item[Keeper:] ``Fine.  The 8hp type is\ldots 500gp each."

{\em More haggling.  Dania gets 2, Razuli gets 1.}

\item[Razuli:] ``Well, I guess thats it.  You got nothing much worth buyin'.  How
         do you keep people from stealing all this junk?"
\end{description}

{\em A beautifully made suit of full plate on display animates, grabs Razuli,
and tosses him out the door.}

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Neat.  Bye, George!"
\item[George:] ``Bye, come again!"
\end{description}

        We met again in the square closest to the gate, and went out looking
for an inn to stay in.  We found a very nice one; there was a common room
below, with a small stage for entertainers, and the tables were all in good
shape.  Rooms were all upstairs, with thick walls to keep the noises of
nighttime revelry out; we were mostly all tired, and did want to sleep that
night.  The party was mostly complete; only Rourk and Navero were missing.

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Where's\ldots uh, whatisname, the stupid?"
\item[Razuli:] ``Which one?  There are a lot of them."
\item[Dania:] ``I meant helmet-head.  Wasn't he gonna be here?"
\item[Arlor:] ``Um, I saw him, yup. He went into a house where there was this woman."
\item[Razuli:] ``{\em Our} cavalier, chasing {\em human} tail?  Or was she human?"
\item[Arlor:] ``Yup.  Not real nice-lookin', though.  He seemed to like her."
\item[Razuli:] ``No accounting for taste.  Wonder what she tastes like?  I'll guess
      I'll just have to ask him, won't I?"
\item[Dania:] ``Oh, please.  I don't wanna hear about it."
\end{description}

{\em An elf enters, comes to our table.  He is in fine red leathers, has silver
hair and golden eyes, and has a lute.}

\begin{description}
\item[Obnoxious Bard:] ``Hi there!  New in town?"
\item[Kortul:] ``What are you?"
\item[O Bard:] ``Sir!  Do you not recognize me by my profession?  I see you do not;
      well then:  how many barbarians does it take to screw in a light
      bulb?"
\item[Kortul:] {\em glares.}
\item[O Bard:] ``One, of course."
\item[Razuli:] ``That's not very funny, ya know."
\item[O Bard:] ``What's funny is how many light bulbs it takes."
\item[Razuli:] ``Here's one for ya: how many obnoxious bards does it take to screw
         in a light bulb?"
\item[O Bard:] ``That depends on how big the light bulb is.  Speaking of which: magic
         user!  Are you free tonight?"
\item[Dania:] ``Do you have a name, o great minstrel?"
\item[O Bard:] ``Indeed I do, o palpitator of men's hearts!  I am Kory Silvertongue,
         soon to be The Incredibly Famous Kory Silvertongue, known throughout
         the land for his incredible musical talents."
\item[Razuli:] ``Dania's already known throughout the land for her incredible
         talents."
\item[Kory:] ``Oh, really?!  Well!  We should get together and make beu-u-u-atiful
       music together sometime!  How about tonight?"
\item[Dania:] ``I don't know who you are, but I already know that I don't like you.
        Piss off."
\item[Kory:] ``Say that with a smile, sweetheart!  Ah, Dania!  Can't you see what I'm
       trying to tell you?"
\item[Dania:] ``Yes!  You're a fucking pervert with his brains in his pants!"
\item[Kory:] ``Oh, dear!  My face would cave in every time I went to the bathroom!"
\item[Arlor:] ``Why are those guards coming over to our table?"
\end{description}

{\em Kory quickly disappears.}

\begin{description}
\item[Guard 1:] ``Who was that?"
\item[Dania:] ``I don't know.  I don't want to know."
\item[Guard 2:] ``Well, you are all under arrest."
\item[Razuli:] ``Aw, c'mon officer!  We didn't know he was the governor!"
\item[Guard 1:] ``What's this about the governor?  We wanted to arrest you for 
          traveling with a Dark Elf."
\item[Kortul:] ``Joking."
\item[Arlor:] ``But we wouldn't, nope.  They're not nice people!"
\item[Guard 1:] ``Were you in the company of a short knight when you came into our
          city, at gate \#2 this afternoon?"
\item[Dania:] ``Did we come in gate \#2?  I don't think so.  That wasn't us."
\item[Guard 3:] ``The color of your chits indicates otherwise.  How long did you
          know this person?"
\item[Razuli:] ``Oh, not long.  Was he a darkie?  He never took that helmet off."
\item[Guard 4:] ``Details, please."
\item[Kortul:] ``Met a few days ago.  Traveled with us, kept apart.  Left us after
         the gate."
\item[Guard 1:] ``So you know nothing of him?"
\item[Dania:] ``Nope.  How'd you catch him?"
\item[Guard 2:] ``We didn't.  We found his body in a drainage ditch a few hours ago.
          He was naked and drained of blood, through two holes in his neck.
          Probably also used in some other nefarious rites as well; the body
          had been mutilated.  Not being worthy of a funeral, and not wishing
          to have it polluting our city, we took the body out and burned it.
          And now, we wish you to explain his presence here."
\item[Arlor:] ``We didn't know, no no no.  News to us."
\item[Guard 1:] {\em sigh.} ``You will swear to that?"
\item[Dania:] ``Sure.  Right here, if you want."
\item[Guard 2:] ``Not strictly necessary.  Ah, well.  Good evening to you."
\end{description}

{\em They leave.}

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Rourk's dead?  Oh, well."

\item[Razuli:] ``They probably got all his money too."
\item[Kortul:] ``Hmph.  Remember: cities more dangerous than dungeons.  Watch it."
\item[Kory:] {\em Reappears} ``Ah, ha!  So you did know this person!"
\item[Dania:] ``Oh, shit.  I thought they scared you off."
\item[Kory:] ``Magic-user: how could one of our race knowingly run around with one
       of those filthy bastards?  I find it difficult to believe, but I'll
       forgive you if you sleep with me tonight."
\item[Dania:] ``What if I told you I got kicked out of home for sleeping with one
        of those bastards?"
\item[Kory:] ``Yeesh!  Then yours is a road I shall never travel!  Good God, woman!
       You have absolutely no morals!  And I'm starting to like you!"
\item[Kortul:] ``Hmph."
\item[Kory:] ``You have some opinion, o great and hairy one?"
\item[Kortul:] ``Light, Dark, all the same.  Are all uppity, and all bleed."
\end{description}


\begin{quote}
``You speak of elves as though they were meat."\\

``Often are."\\

\ \ \ --- Dan Parsons\\
\end{quote}

\begin{center}
{\huge --- XXI ---}\\
\end{center}





After training, as appropriate\ldots

\begin{center}
\begin{tabular}{l}
          Navero, male human cleric, 4th level\\
          Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 4th level\\
          Kortul, male human fighter, 3rd level\\
          Razuli, male human fighter, 3rd level\\
          Arlor, male dwarf thief, 3rd level\\
          Kory Silvertongue, male elf bard, 2nd level \\
\end{tabular}
\end{center}

        {\em Kory is a new-type bard, not the old type; the Dragon Magazine
type, as they were called back then, now the 2nd Edition type.}

Training this time around was no problem at all.  There was a semi-public
library for magic-users, temples for Navero, a very small arena, etc.  It
all went very leisurely, with plenty of time to relax and unwind; we were
beginning to like this place.  A pity that it didn't last\ldots we still had
plenty of money to spend.

{\em At our tavern, just after dusk.}

\begin{description}
\item[Arlor:] ``Nice, quiet place, yup."
\item[Kortul:] ``No dragons.  No paladins."
\item[Kory:] ``O hirste one; would you be speaking of Those Who Are More Than Two And
       Less Than Four?  You have my condolences.  You won't be meeting them
       again, I pray?"
\item[Dania:] ``Not if we can help it."
\item[Kory:] ``Ah, good!  That gives me yet another reason to hang out with you guys.
       The first being your beacon of spiteful loveliness, who fascinates me
       endlessly.  The \$econd i\$ that you guy\$ \$eem
       to have \$omehow produced
       an irre\$i\$tible force which draw\$ me ever clo\$er to you."
\end{description}

{\em I'm still not sure how he got his S's to sound like dollar signs.}

\begin{description}
\item[Razuli:] ``The bonds of camaraderie and friendship are strong indeed. {\em sigh.}
         Hey kids, wanna find Navero and take him to see the sights?"
\item[Kory:] ``That little priest person we met earlier, no?  Well!  I know of a
       house run by a lovely older woman that I'm sure he'd just
       {\em love}\ldots"
\item[Kortul:] ``Some guards coming."
\end{description}

{\em Kory quickly disappears.}

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``I don't see any guards."
\item[Kortul:] ``Don't either.  How long'll he be gone?"
\item[Razuli:] ``Long enough to try laying one of the barmaids.  He'll be back soon."
\item[Kory:] ``That was not very nice."
\item[Razuli:] ``And the 8-second wonder returns!  How was she?"
\item[Kory:] ``Oh, not too bad.  Soon as she saw me, she just melted\ldots"
\item[Dania:] ``Down through the floorboards, hoping to escape, no doubt."
\item[Kory:] ``You watch your tongue, young lady!  If you keep this up, I may have
       to spank you!  Then, you can spank me!"
\item[Dania:] ``Ooh, sounds kinky.  Can I use your sword?  Trust me."
\item[Razuli:] ``Hey, c'mon, I get a turn, don't I?  What's one bitchy little magic
         user between friends?" {\em shit-eating grin}
\item[Kory:] ``More than you could ever dream of.  Dania, my dear!  Picture this:"
\item[Dania:] ``Some elf's balls frying in butter?  Mmmm, sounds tasty."
\item[Kory:] ``Uhhh\ldots  Friend Kortul!  Is she always like this?"
\item[Kortul:] {\em Hostile stare}
\item[Razuli:] ``It's just PMS."
\item[Dania:] ``Oh\ldots fuck you all.  I'm going to bed."
\item[Razuli:] ``You're going to bed to fuck us all?"
\item[Kory:] ``My most perverted dreams come true!!  Only we need some women for the
       rest of you.  Wait a minute, there's some over there! Wow! On second
       thought, Razuli can HAVE the magic user!" {\em Leaves.}
\item[Dania:] ``What an asshole."
\end{description}

{\em Many many Guards approach table.}

\begin{description}
\item[Razuli:] ``Oh, shit, not again.  Kids, get ready to run."
\item[Arlor:] ``Hello, officers!"
\item[Guard 1:] ``'ello, me loverlies.  'member me?  Yur ol' friend come ta see ya."
\item[Dania:] ``Oh, FuckingJesusChristGoddamIt\ldots  What is it?"
\item[Guard 1:] ``Wasn' nice, you attackin' us guards, runnin' out'a town, leavin'
          behind such a 'orrible mess.  Been weeks cleanin' up afta yu.  And
          runnin' ta this city, o' all places, seein' tha' the Lord o' Swamp
          Keep happens to be the Guv'nors brother-in-law!  Took a bit o'
          time ta peg yu.  But maybe we all should talk some, right?"
\item[Arlor:] ``But, sir, we didn't make any of that mess."
\item[Guard 1:] ``Why didn' ya stay and help clean up!?  Right un-neighborly.  In
          fact, so un-neighborly yu all could be arrested rite here.  But we
          all would much rathe' have your willin' co-operashun."
\item[Kortul:] *grunt*
\item[Guard 2:] {\em This guard bears himself like some sort of lieutenant, or something.}
         ``According to certain officials at Swamp Keep, you are responsible
          for cleaning out an Orc nest in the area and so are more or less
          responsible for events transpiring thereafter. {\em Glares} I hope you
          all understand that if {\em you} can
          clean out an Orc lair, the militia
          would certainly be perfectly capable of handling the same problem.
          If said militia does not, it is because of possible repercussions,
          which you apparently did not stop to consider.  One cannot simply
          go waltzing into a cavern and start slaughtering.  {\em You}
          may move on, but {\em we} have to live with
          the {\em consequences} of your actions!"
\item[Razuli:] ``Look, we're sorry, okay?  Now what's the deal here?"
\item[Guard 2:] ``You be quiet.  You and your kind have done quite enough."
\item[Guard 1:] ``Tell 'em wha' ta do, already."
\item[Guard 2:] ``I was about to, so {\em be quiet}, dolt!"
\item[Guard 1:] {\em mutters} ``Oo' pu' a burr up yur ass, then?"
\item[Guard 2:] ``During your activities, you disturbed a young Black Dragon, I
          believe."
\item[Razuli:] ``That was Rourk!  We didn't do it!"
\item[Guard 3:] ``Oh?  So you admit to knowing him, then?"
\item[Razuli:] ``Knowing who?  Oh, you mean the darkie!  We're talking about a
         different guy, here."
\item[Dania:] ``Yea, different person.  What about the dragon?"
\item[Guard 2:] {\em a-hem!} ``Some citizens of the empire have been complaining that
         such a dragon has been sighted near their fields where it steals
         cattle.  Why it should come up here, when it was safe and happy
         further south, I of course haven't the slightest idea.  {\em Glares}
         You, I understand, have developed a slight reputation for the
         slaying of Dragons\ldots"
\item[Kortul:] {\em groan\ldots}
\item[Razuli:] ``Here it comes\ldots"
\item[Guard 2:] ``Surely, for such {\em competent} and {\em capable}
          adventurers as yourselves,
          slaying one young rogue black would be as childs play. {\em And} in
          addition, you would have the thanks of the citizenry of the state,
          who may forget about the small matter of your debt."
\item[Razuli:] ``We keep all it's treasure!"
\item[Guard 2:] ``Amusing.  Anything it has stolen from the citizenry belongs to
          the citizenry, and not to any brigandish ruffians who come along
          and sneak off with it.  You will be expected to surrender whatever
          valuables you should find in the black's hoard, and accept the
          reward decreed by the Governor for the Dragon's death.  Any more
          is not in your due.  Am I understood?"
\item[Party:] Yup, yes, gotcha, absolutely your priggishness Sir!
\item[Guard 2:] ``Should you try to simply cut and
          run, before {\em or} after killing the
          black, you will find that the chits you have been given, and which
          you now wear and cannot remove, will lead us unerringly to you\ldots
          and you will {\em all} then suffer {\em punishment}
          to the {\em fullest extent of
          the law!  {\em Am} I understood now!?}"
\item[Party:] Uh\ldots yes.  Absolutely.  Can we go now, we have lots to do.
\item[Guard 2:] ``Yes.  I think you do have quite a bit to make up for.  The black
          hasn't killed anyone yet; if it had, I'd have you all locked up
          for murder.  But as it is, you get a chance to redeem yourselves;
          and I don't know whether I want you to succeed, or fail."
\item[Guard 1:] ``Bye, now.  Hope yu have lotsa fun.  He he he!" {\em Guards exit}
\item[Dania:] ``Let's go find Nav."
\item[Kory:] ``Excuse me!  Was it you who was getting screamed at?"
\item[Razuli:] ``Yep.  Some stuck-up cock sucker wants us to go kill another dragon."
\item[Kory:] ``Oh, cool!  Been nice knowing you all.  I shall sing songs of your
       bravery for minutes to come.  Wait a moment, did my pointed ears
       deceive me, or did you say {\em another} dragon, dear fellow sentient?"
\item[Razuli:] ``Yea, another dragon.  Shouldn't be too much trouble, we've seen it
         before, and killed worse."
\item[Kory:] ``Then I must accompany you!  I've never been to a Dragon slaying!  Oh
       my, what wonderful opportunities this creates for my autobiography."
\end{description}

        We found Navero and explained the situation to him, and then spent
the rest of the night separately.  The wise ones prepared their equipment
and slept; others spent the time less wisely.  In the morning, we set out,
but not on horseback, as before.  The northern parts of the marsh were
considerably more boggy and inhospitable than the southern areas, and going
on horse would be difficult.  But there were several runs lacing the swamp,
draining it's waters into other streams and rivers; a large skiff riding
high in the water would be much better than walking through quicksand.  At
least, that was the idea.  We very quickly discovered that no one had ever
steered a skiff before, and there were far more subtleties to it than you
might guess.  Fortunately, we didn't capsize before we got something figured
out, and were soon on our way into the swamps.


\begin{quote}
``How the hell do we get into these things?"\\

\ \ \ --- Dan Parsons\\
\end{quote}



\begin{center}
{\huge --- XXII ---}\\
\end{center}


When last we saw them, our heroes were poling up the swamp runs in a skiff.
We were sadly inexpert, as was apparent to anyone who saw us.  But soon, we
left the jeering spectators behind, and as morning wore on into afternoon,
an uncomfortable silence settled over the swamps.  Fortunately it was the
beginning of winter; it was damp enough, but not hot, and the insect density
was tolerable.

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Quit splashing."
\item[Razuli:] ``Jezuz H. fuckin' {\em Christ}, magic-user, {\em you} steer, then!"
\item[Kortul:] ``Shut up, both of you."
\item[Kory:] ``And who elected you, bright eyes?  I fail to see your qualifications
       for the position of courageous leader."
\item[Arlor:] ``I feel sick."
\item[Dania:] ``So dive in and cool off.  There aren't any crocodiles nearby."
\item[Kortul:] ``Some over there, elf.  Leave Dwarf alone."
\item[Navero:] ``Dania, why do you not like Arlor?  I haven't seen him do anything
         to make you mad at him."
\item[Dania:] ``I don't hate him, Nav.  Lighten up.  It's just this useless little
        hairy geek gets on my nerves.  Didn't anyone ever tell you about
        Dwarves?  They chop down forests to make charcoal for their damn
        forges and mines.  Whole forests."
\item[Arlor:] ``Um\ldots  You only use dead wood for that."
\item[Dania:] ``Well, it's sure as hell dead when you get through with it!"
\item[Navero:] ``They make some very useful and nice things, I know, Dania."
\item[Dania:] ``Oh, sure, yeah, dead things, that decay, or just gather dust!  Oh,
        what do you know?  You'll never live to see it, anyway."
\item[Arlor:] ``Forests don't last either."
\item[Dania:] ``Not with you around, that's for sure."
\item[Navero:] ``Please, why are you angry?  Maybe the Dwarves clear away deadwood,
         and use it to make other things, that wouldn't exist otherwise.  
         Making things must have it's place in the world."
\item[Dania:] ``Tell {\em him}!  {\em They're} the ones who
        went wild and went chopping down
        trees and killing people just so they could get more {\em gold},
        and go around killing everything beautiful in the world and\ldots"
\item[Kortul:] ``{\em Wizard}!"
\item[Dania:] ``{\em What}?!"
\item[Kortul:] ``Pointless, stupid.  Wizard, steer.  Razuli, take priest's pole.
         Priest, sit there." {\em Indicates between Dania and Arlor.}
\item[Kory:] ``No, no, let them go on.  This is highly amusing."
\item[Dania:] ``Why the {\em fuck} should I listen to you?!"
\item[Razuli:] {\em Leaves steering oar.} ``Come on, take the steering.  Navero, why
        don't you have a talk with these two?"
\item[Dania:] {\em Glares, grumbles, takes steering oar.}
\item[Razuli:] {\em Aside to Kortul} ``What's with you?  You spoke several sentence
        fragments in a row.  For such a long speech, she must be finally
        getting to ya, huh?"
\item[Kortul:] {\em Glares} ``Women down here uppity, don't know to shut up.  'Specially
        elves.  Talk too much.  Everyone talks too much."
\item[Razuli:] ``It's those pert little buns, isn't it?  The heaving breasts, the
         fiery eyes; a woman you can't tame\ldots"
\item[Kortul:] {\em Glares}
\item[Razuli:] ``Ok, OK!  Sheesh, you're no fun at all, ya know?"
\item[Kory:] {\em Laughs.}
\end{description}

     Along the way, we met a most extraordinary person.  During a lull in
the conversation, we saw a small man in woodland colors, waving to us from
the side of the river.  We went over to investigate.

\begin{description}
\item[Small Man:] ``Hello.  I could not help but hear you as you came up the river.
            I was wondering at your purpose, as I can see that this is not
            your usual mode of travel."
\item[Razuli:] ``We're going to kill a dragon.  Wanna come with us?"
\item[Small Man:] ``How kind of you to offer.  I had entered this area with an intent
            of scouting out such a beast, which threatens the order of this
            lovely green.  However, with the company of such obviously capable
            and industrious people as yourselves, I may be able to do more to
            correct the unbalancing of natural forces."
\item[Razuli:] ``Huh?"
\item[Small Man:] ``Yes, very capable and industrious.  I am Topash Raycin; I am a
            member of the Green Brotherhood of the Wood."
\item[Navero:] ``Don't you worship trees?"
\item[Topash:] ``Hah.  No; we work with the forces of nature to preserve the balance
         of the world.  We do not worship anyone; we coexist."
\item[Dania:] ``Great.  Glad to have another elf on board.  Come on in."
\item[Topash:] ``Elves, humans, dwarves; all have their place in the balance.  But
         before we move on, I think perhaps some advice on how to handle a
         skiff is in order\ldots"
\end{description}

        And so we went on into the swamp.  The afternoon passed uneventfully.

\begin{description}
\item[Game Master:] Damn.  I expected you to walk in.  You're floating past all the
             encounters I set up.
\item[Party:] Sorry 'bout that.  What a shame.
\item[GM:] I guess I'll just have to wing it.
\end{description}

{\em *SPLASH!*  Skiff tilts, entire party goes into the drink.}

\begin{description}
\item[Kory:] *Glub!* ``Oh no!  I'll get my instrument wet!"
\item[Razuli:] ``Worry about your manhood some other time.  There's nothing around
         here that would want it anyway."
\item[Arlor:] ``I can't sw\ldots"
\end{description}

        A huge, greenish, yucky-looking humanoid had come up under our skiff
and toppled us into the river.  Fortunately, it was shallow in the swamps,
and only Arlor went under.  More humanoids appeared from the bracken along
the shore, and they rushed clumsily to the attack.

\begin{description}
\item[Kortul:] {\em Draws sword, moves to Troll 1 by the skiff.}
\item[Dania:] ``I think it's Trolls!"  {\em Magic Missiles Troll 2}
\item[Topash:] {\em Entangles two Trolls in bracken}
\item[Razuli:] ``Get a fire going!  Navero, do it!"
\item[Navero:] ``But my tinder and flints are all wet!"
\item[Arlor:] {\em *Blub*}
\item[Kory:] ``I can't play a wet lute.  Take that, putrescence! {\em stabs Troll 3} Mess
       with me, eh?  I'll teach you to " *WHAM!* ``\ldots on de udder hand, I
       could always use a bit o' education myself\ldots"
\item[Troll 1:] ``Harruuugat!  Kill!  Fuud!"  {\em Much swinging of claws, etc.}
\item[Kortul:] ``Ha!" {\em Criticals, removes Troll 1's head.  It falls in river, body 
         begins looking for it blindly.}
\item[Navero:] ``Hang on, hang on\ldots" {\em Staggers to shore, gets out flint and steel,
         starts looking for dry tinder.}
\item[Razuli:] ``Quit playing with your instrument, bard." {\em Hits Troll 2.}
\item[Kory:] ``Oh, ha ha.  At least I have one, human!" {\em Misses Troll 3} ``Fuck it."
\item[Dania:] ``Are you that desperate, Kory?" {\em Magic Missiles Troll 3.}
\item[Arlor:] *BLUB!*
\item[Topash:] ``Is this how you usually do battle, brave adventurers?" {\em Hits Troll 4}
\item[Trolls:] {\em Three Trolls still fighting.  Razuli clawed twice, Kory bitten, one
        moves in on Navero.}
\item[Navero:] ``eep!" {\em Runs from Troll 4, Troll 4 chases.}
\item[Topash:] ``It's good to see a group of people who can cast aside their personal
         differences and cooperate so well." {\em Hits Troll 3.}
\item[Arlor:] {\Huge \bf BLUB!}
\item[Razuli:] ``What the fuck was that?"
\item[Kory:] ``I believe it is our Dwarven companion, attempting to alert us to one
       of the hazards associated with shortness.  Go see to him, my good
       fellow; and do be quick about it."
\item[Kortul:] {\em Takes large chunk out of Troll 3.}
\item[Dania:] ``Oh, let him walk ashore." {\em Magic Missiles Troll 3, finishes it}
\item[Trolls:] {\em Two left.  One bites and claws Razuli, other still chasing Navero.}
\item[Razuli:] ``Oww\ldots My cue for a strategic retreat."  {\em Breaks away, goes to look
         for Arlor.}
\item[Kortul:] {\em Comes ashore} ``Priest!  Quit playing; get over here!"
\item[Navero:] ``Ahhh!!" {\em Hits patch of very moist ground, falls.  Troll 3, strangely,
         does not follow.}
\item[Kory:] ``Does anyone have a fire started yet?  Children, children, do I have to
       take care of everything?" {\em Stabs Troll 2.}
\item[Dania:] ``Oh, shut up." {\em MM's Troll 2.} ``Kortul!  We need you on this one!"
\item[Topash:] {\em Hits Troll 2.}
\item[Arlor:] *GASP!*  {\em Pulled up to air by Razuli.}
\item[Trolls:] {\em Headless Troll has found it's head.  Troll 3 starts to come back up
        out of river.  Troll 4 leaves Navero.  Troll 2 claws Dania, Kory,
        misses with bite.}
\item[Navero:] ``I'm sinking!" {\em Indeed, he is sinking into the damp ground.}
\item[Dania:] {\em MM's Troll 2, it falls.}
\item[Razuli:] ``Nav, it's quicksand!  Lie still!"
\item[Arlor:] ``I'm not never goin' in a boat again, yup, that's for sure."
\item[Dania:] ``Yes, you are.  Now do something!"
\item[Razuli:] {\em Notices Troll 1 putting it's head back on.  Promptly knocks it off
        again.  It tries to bite and falls into the river.}
\item[Kortul:] {\em Criticals, cuts Troll 4 in half.}
\item[Topash:] ``Hmph." {\em Comes ashore, starts to work on fire.} ``Everything's wet."
\item[Kortul:] ``Common enough in swamp."
\item[Trolls:] {\em Troll one resumes search.  Troll 3 moves to Dania.  Troll 4 squirms.
        Troll 2 stays on river bottom.  Trolls 5 \& 6 starting to break out of
        the Entanglement.}
\item[Kortul:] {\em Drags Navero out of quicksand by his vestments.} ``Not going well."
\item[Topash:] ``Patience\ldots Got it!" {\em Fire started.}
\item[Dania:] ``Great!  Now do something with it!" {\em Smacks Troll 3 with her staff, it
        falls.}
\item[Razuli:] {\em Puts Arlor in shallow water, goes looking for Troll 1's head.}
\item[Kory:] ``Ah, good!  Someone besides me displays signs of competence!  I am
       greatly encouraged; now, if only my lute weren't ruined\ldots"
\item[Navero:] ``Ugh!  The two halves are growing!"
\item[Arlor:] ``They do that, yup.  Disgustin'"
\item[Trolls:] {\em Troll 1 still looking.  Troll 3 goes down, Troll 2 hasn't come up.
        Troll 4 still squirming, Trolls 5 \& 6 break Entanglement.}
\item[Navero:] ``That fire's awful small."
\item[Topash:] ``The wood is quite damp."
\item[Kortul:] {\em Moves to Trolls 5 \& 6.} ``Get over here!"
\item[Dania:] {\em Webs Trolls 5 \& 6; it just misses Kortul.} ``Ha!  Got 'em!"
\item[Arlor:] {\em Wades ashore.} ``I hate water."
\item[Razuli:] ``Any luck with the fire?" {\em Finds Troll 1's head, sticks it on his
         sword.}
\item[Topash:] ``Some.  There; if anyone has any dry torches, we can begin.  But be
         careful not to let the fire spread."
\end{description}

        The skiff had fortunately not been capsized, merely tipped, so our
supplies are still dry.  With the help of some lantern oil, Trolls 5 and 6
were soon roasting.  As other Trolls come back up, they are sectioned and
burned; some party members take damage during the fight.  After healing,
everyone is moderately OK, although muddy and very wet.  Of course, with
this many Trolls, there is probably a lair nearby; a few hours search
reveals the only likely candidate, a large cave near the water, under an
overhang.  We took torches, and went in, Kortul at the point.

        The cave went in for about 25 feet; the floor was earth packed down
by huge feet; tree roots poked through the roof.  At 25 feet, the tunnel
took an abrupt dog-leg turn, and around the corner, waited 2 more Trolls.

\begin{description}
\item[Troll 1:] *SMACK!*  {\em Hits Kortul with a Longsword, bites.}
\item[Kortul:] {\bf !?} {\em Shoves torch in it's mouth.}
\item[Navero:] {\em Starts Chanting}
\item[Troll 2:] {\em Tosses flask of oil onto Kortul.}
\item[Kortul:] {\bf !?!}
\item[Troll 1:] ``Gon' burn now?!  HahahAhaAhA!"
\item[Razuli:] ``Oh, fuck."
\item[Kory:] ``Duy, duy, this one's got a brain somewhere!  We should remove and
       donate it to science!"
\item[Dania:] ``Kortul, back off and let me web 'em!"
\item[Troll 1:] {\em Claws, bites Kortul.}
\item[Kortul:] ``RRRAAAHH!!!" {\em Swings twice and criticals once.  Troll 1 goes down.}
\item[Topash:] ``Very impressive.  Now get out and let us burn the other."
\item[Troll 2:] {\em Grabs Kortul, hugs him close, sticks tongue out at party.}
\item[Dania:] {\em MM's Troll 2}
\item[Arlor:] {\em Has snuck behind Troll 2, stabs it in the knee, distracting it.}
\item[Kortul:] {\em Squirms away from Troll 2} ``Hit it!"
\item[Topash:] {\em Lights the oil that rubbed off of Kortul onto Troll 2.}
\end{description}

        After much sound and fury, the two Trolls were dead and burned.  The
air within the cave is quite fouled, but we explored on nonetheless.  Within,
we found a lot of bones, a lot of rocks, and very little else.  It being
nearly nightfall by this point, we set up camp a short way up the river; any
bits of Troll we had missed did not come to bother us, and the night passed
uneventfully.


\begin{quote}
``Oh, goody!  My instrument seems to be in working order!"\\

``Kory, quit playing with yourself and go to sleep.  You
can lay Dania in the morning."\\

\ \ \ --- Dan Parsons\\
\end{quote}

\begin{center}
{\huge --- XXIII ---}\\
\end{center}


\begin{center}
\begin{tabular}{l}
                Navero, male human cleric, 4th level\\
                Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 4th level\\
                Kortul, male human fighter, 3rd level\\
                Razuli, male human fighter, 3rd level\\
                Arlor, male dwarf thief, 3rd level\\
                Kory Silvertongue, male elf bard, 2nd level\\
                Topash, male elf druid, 3rd level\\
\end{tabular}
\end{center}

Morning came, foggy and dim, to the marshes.  Nothing had come to the camp to
eat us in the night.  The nocturnal sounds of the swamp were uninterrupted.
The mists were very thick; feeling somewhat vulnerable, we loaded the skiff
and set out, pausing now and then to bash an adventurous crocodile on the
nose.  In the fog, everything seemed subdued and quiet, as if listening, and
waiting for something.  Thick, gnarled trees rose up from the hidden ground,
vines and mosses and strangleweed hanging from their branches.

\begin{description}
\item[Kory:] ``Oh, I just {\em love} what they've
        done with this place!  So totally retro-primeval.
        I must say, this dampness suits you quite admirably, dear
        magic-user.  The way your robe clings to you is {\em so}
        evocative of the dreamy summer days of my distant youth."
\item[Dania:] ``Leave me out of your wet dreams."
\item[Arlor:] ``I wanna go home."
\item[Kory:] ``You be quiet.  I'm quite happy here."
\item[Navero:] ``I wish it weren't so wet.  This would be a nice place; those trees
         over there are kind of nice."
\item[Kortul:] {\em Starts} ``quiet!"
\item[Kory:] ``What?  Be {\em quiet}?
        Don't you understand me?  Of course you don't.  To
        remain quiet is against the rules of my chosen profession.  Why, I
        come from a veritable royalty of splendidly harmonic issuance,
        perhaps the finest\ldots"
\item[Razuli:] {\em Clamps a hand over Kory's mouth.} ``Bard, ya got three choices: shut
        up, dive in, or start losing appendages.  Your tongue won't be last."
\item[Kory:] ``Music haters."
\item[Topash:] ``No; there is a disturbance near here."
\item[Razuli:] ``You feel a tremor in the force, Obi-wan?"
\item[Topash:] {\em sigh.} ``No; something is watching us."
\item[Dania:] ``I don't see anything."
\item[Kortul:] ``'course not."
\item[Arlor:] ``I really wanna go home."
\item[Dania:] ``So start swimming."
\item[Navero:] ``Maybe it would be a good idea if we all tried to be quiet?"
\item[Party:] Yea, sure, right kiddies, etc.  {\em Party stays quiet maybe 2 minutes.}
\item[Kory:] ``Damn.  I gotta go to the bathroom."
\item[Topash:] ``Why didn't you go before we started?"
\item[Kory:] ``Oh, your buffness?  You too, Raz.  Could I trouble you two kind
        gentlemen to pole us over to the side, by those reeds?  Thank you
        kindly."
\item[Razuli:] ``Shit, Bard.  But not here."
\item[Kory:] ``That's what I'm trying to do."
\end{description}

        With faint but audible grumbling, the skiff was poled over to the
side of the river.  Kory jumped out and went into the bushes.  Then, suddenly
we all heard a great crackling, like trees being torn up and pushed aside; a
blast of chill air swept over us.  A big black shape rose up out of the mists
on the opposite shore, opened it's jaws, and spit.  The glob of digestive
acid hit the skiff amidships, spattering everyone; we all dove into the water
to wash the vile liquid off.  Everyone but Navero, that is.  He was hit full
in the face with the glob, and, without even a chance to scream, dissolved
into the bottom of the skiff.  The acid ate out the bottom, and the whole
thing went down.

\begin{description}
\item[Party:] AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
\end{description}

\hspace{.5in}  {\large Twang!}     \hspace{.2in}     Light! Hurl!

Spellcast!       \hspace{.5in} ``Kill the *\%\&\$@\%*\&!!"
                                  

                      \hspace{.6in} ``Bolt!"  

        {\large Twang!}                \hspace{.4in} {\Huge KABLAM!}

Throw!     \hspace{.2in} {\large Ka-Thunk!}       \hspace{.3in}  {\Large Twang!}

                       \hspace{.7in} {\huge Whunk!}

             \hspace{.2in} {\Large Twang!}   \hspace{.4in} {\large Twang!}\\

{\em Plus many other sounds commonly made by a badly frightened party unloading
into some poor defenseless little dragonling\ldots}\\

     The baby Black wobbled in mid-air a bit, then silently crashed into
the middle of the river.  Being a small shallow river, it was only partially
submerged, so we spent another couple of rounds filling it with arrows and
bolts and magic until we had assured ourselves that it was dead.

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Is it dead?"
\item[Kory:] ``It damn well better be!"
\item[Razuli:] ``Where's the priest?"
\item[Kortul:] ``In the boat."
\item[Dania:] ``Where's the boat?"
\item[Kortul:] ``On the bottom."
\item[Dania:] ``Oh fuck it, not again."
\end{description}

     Dania splashed into the remains of the skiff; most of our equipment
was acid-seared and water-logged, but some was salvageable.  Of Navero, she
was able to find a shoe, a few teeth, and not much else.  Kortul and Razuli
waded out to the Dragon; they were careful to stay upstream, as the water was
already becoming laden with it's noisome blood.  By this point, the thing
was quite dead; sadly, the hide was too badly damaged to be of much use, and
we knew of nothing else that had value.

\begin{description}
\item[Kortul:] {\em Prying out a canine} ``Treasure?"
\item[Razuli:] ``I got no idea where it is.  Better find some to satisfy snot-face.
         Are we going back there?"
\item[Dania:] ``Remember the chits?  Forget running."
\item[Topash:] ``A monetary prize would be of some use.  This `snot-face' you mention
         seems unnecessarily obsessed with money, however; perhaps if he did
         not receive any, he would realize the utter futility of concern over
         material wealth."
\item[Razuli:] ``Yea, yea, what he said.  Let's get rid of these things and get outa
         here."
\item[Kory:] ``My feelings exactly!  I wish to skip merrily through the woods, free
        of the dismal chains of bureaucracy!  Besides, this dumb little thing
        clashes with my tunic.  Let us be done with them!"
\item[Dania:] ``Right.  I'll look into it.  But first we find this thing's treasure."
\item[Topash:] ``I shall look into that." {\em Shapechanges into a sparrow, flys off.}
\item[Dania:] ``Don't go alone, you\ldots oh, you idiot."
\end{description}

     The sparrow flew off in the direction the dragon had come from.  The
land in this direction was higher than usual, almost dry; following the
dragons trail was not difficult.  It had been moving along beside them for
some time; no doubt awoken from a gorged sleep by all the noise the others
had been making.  It seemed to have come out of an overgrown spot on a small,
gentle hill.  That seemed the most likely spot for the lair.

     Sailing on his borrowed wings, Topash flew into the trees, gliding
between their high and noble trunks.  They were tall and straight, unusual
for the area, and further apart than usual.  Faint depressions in the earth
indicated that other trees had once stood there, but had been thinned away,
allowing these others to grow higher.  They effectively screened a large area
from the air, preventing the occupant from being seen from that angle.  It was
amazing that a dragon which seemed so young could have done all this.

     Fluttering deeper in, the ground vegetation thinned, revealing the
occasional track.  Most of these were ordinary; rabbit or such.  Some were
dragon's tracks; however, a couple of these were quite a bit larger than a
small dragon could be expected to make.  A very uncomfortable thought began
to rise; Topash nervously flew on, to make a startling and disconcerting
discovery at the center of the wood.  He elected to quietly leave and inform
his new companions of this unexpected turn of events.

{\em Sparrow shrieks into the middle of the group like a bat out of hell, changes
into an elf in mid-air and crashes to the ground.  Topash stands up.}

\begin{description}
\item[Topash:] ``Can the boat be repaired?  {\em Quickly}?!?"
\item[Razuli:] ``I doubt it.  You didn't find the treasure, did ya?"
\item[Topash:] ``No, I'm afraid not.  Instead, I found your baby's parents.  Do you
         know anything about dragons?  Like, they rarely have children?  And
         that those children are valued more than the earth itself?  And they
         get a trifle annoyed with people who kill their children?"
\item[Arlor:] ``I'm going home."
\item[Kory:] ``Oh, Christ!  How did you people ever talk me into going on this ill-
        fated expedition?  You told me, Dragon!  Singular!  I'm terribly
        sorry, but multiple dragons is not in my contract."
\item[Dania:] ``Goddamn it all\ldots.  We better get the fuck *out* of here!"
\item[Kortul:] ``Useless.  On foot.  They're flying.  Will defoliate whole swamp to
         find us."
\item[Topash:] ``I must agree. They are going to be *quite* upset when they find out."
\item[Razuli:] ``Waitaminute, waitaminute.  `When they find out'?  They don't know
         yet?"
\item[Dania:] ``Yea, didn't they hear us?"
\item[Topash:] ``Ah, no. They're asleep.  Older dragons sleep more heavily."
\item[Kory:] ``Oh\ldots.   Asleep, you say, dear woodsy-type-person?"
\item[Kortul:] ``Have to kill them."
\item[Razuli:] ``That just might be possible, kids.  Where are they?"
\item[Topash:] {\em Hmm\ldots} ``There seems no other option, so\ldots this way, please."
\end{description}


\begin{quote}
``There sure are an awful lot of dragons around here."\\

\ \ \ --- Dan Parsons\\
\end{quote}





\begin{center}
{\huge --- XXIV ---}\\
\end{center}


We had some more Dragons to deal with\ldots

     The dragons would probably not wake up anytime soon; so, there was
no great hurry to go and see them.  We spent some time around the body of
the baby, securing teeth or scales or whatever else we thought might be
worth something, and waded to the other side and walked to the Dragons'
grove.  We were quieter than usual --- this was serious business --- but Dragons
do sleep heavily, and until we were actually entered the grove we had no
doubt they would not hear us.

\begin{description}
\item[Razuli:] ``Hey Wizzerd, I saw you pulling some bits of things out of the boat.
         You thinking of getting Navero resurrected again?"
\item[Dania:] ``It'd be a good idea.  He's reliable."
\item[Kory:] {\em Stifles laughter} ``Yes, indeed, you could sure rely on ol' Nav for
       some things."
\item[Dania:] ``Well, we are at least going to try."
\item[Razuli:] ``Whafor?  Do you remember how much it {\em cost}
         last time?  And they were
         being nice to us!  Forget it.  Not this time.  If he gets himself
         killed this much, he just ain't worth having around.  Besides, we
         got us another healing-type person right here, and one who can do
         something else, too.  Besides blow it, I mean."
\item[Topash:] ``It is only reasonable, Dania.  May I call you Dania?  All things are
         born, and die, each in their own time.  It is the natural way of the
         world, which most priestly orders disrupt with these 'resurrections'
         they perform.  Surely you appreciate that all things are only part
         of the endless cycles of birth and\ldots"
\item[Dania:] ``Look, we are going to try.  Maybe it isn't time."
\item[Razuli:] ``How are you gonna resurrect a bicuspid?"
\item[Arlor:] ``I dunno.  It'd cost a lotta money.  We're strapped, yup."
\item[Dania:] ``If I wanted your\ldots"
\item[Kortul:] ``Close enough for them to hear?"
\item[Topash:] ``Why, I believe so, yes."
\item[Kortul:] ``Good.  Quiet."
\end{description}

     We entered the grove, noting the tracks of the Baby Black, and the
occasional larger track.  This was more than enough to encourage silence and
a light tread.  After several minutes of careful travel, we came within
sight of the pair.  They were almost invisible, lying in a depression under
some hanging boughs; they were both about the same size, each a bit smaller
than the Red Dragon had been.  We had no idea how old this made them.  They
were both fast asleep, their necks curled together, sleeping claw in claw.

\begin{description}
\item[Kory:] ``Awww, how sweet.  I see a nice place for a fireball."
\item[Topash:] ``I can call up a lightning bolt to strike the spot you point out
         quite nicely, and it would not be nearly so messy and destructive
         as the random blast of misguided magic you speak of.  Besides, that
         way, the warriors can stand near it to strike them as they awaken."
\item[Razuli:] ``Wait, wait, wait, what this about warriors being anywhere near those
         things?  Don't scare me like that; that was in very poor taste!"
\item[Kory:] ``You get the one on the left.  Meanwhile, li'l ol' me will be in those
       trees over there, singing a battle song to encourage your efforts."
\item[Kortul:] ``Need sword, not cheerleader.  You go with him."
\item[Kory:] ``WHAT?!"
\item[Dania:] {\em Smacks Kory with her staff} ``Keep your voice down, you idiot!"
\item[Kory:] ``I have been insulted!  And assaulted!  You think you're so tough, eh?
       Well, I challenge you!  Kazoos at 20 paces!"
\item[Topash:] ``Unless you have something constructive to say, I suggest a minimum
         of noise.  How about this:  Dania and myself in the bushes\ldots"
\item[Razuli:] ``Hey, why can't I get that part?"
\item[Topash:] ``Because you are inappropriately armed."
\item[Razuli:] ``How would you know?"
\item[Dania:] ``Shut up.  Topash over there, and call your lightning.  Then, I'll be
        over here to magic missile them, and you all beat on them.  Kory,
        sing your battle song, but only after they're awake."
\item[Kortul:] ``Arlor, Razuli, get one on left.  Looks weaker."
\item[Razuli:] ``Ok, I can live with that."
\item[Kory:] ``You hope."
\end{description}

     We moved into our positions; Topash silently moved to the left into
some bushes and began to prepare a Call Lightning spell.  Kortul went slowly
and carefully over to the Dragon on the right, mindful not to make noise.
Arlor and Razuli, less heavily armed and armored, moved more quickly into
their positions by the leftmost one.  Dania stayed put, and Kory went to the
right and hid behind a tree.  The bough-covered depression made hitting them
while they were within an obviously ineffective approach; hopefully, the
lightning would encourage them to quickly leave the hole.  Clouds gathered
slowly above; flashes of electricity began to spark; an odd smell rose and
the air seemed to acquire a certain charge\ldots

     The lightning struck, flashing through the heads of the two sleeping
dragons, making their great bodies stiffen in a paroxym of pain.  With a
great snarling scream, two heads sprang up, followed by wings and claws.
Kortul took one great swing at his dragon, his huge blade biting into it's
forelimb.  Razuli stabbed the other in the belly; Arlor stabbed nearer the
base of the tail.  Two magic missiles flew out, one to each beast.  Kory's
song burst out, rousing and enboldening and slightly off key.  

     Topash called on the boughs that had spread over the pit to hold the
Dragon's down; he didn't expect much, but maybe it would buy crucial seconds.
Dania cast a web over the neck and head of Razuli's dragon.  Kortul swung
twice; his first strike glanced off the Dragon's neck, but the second caught
it full on the nose, making it bellow with pain.  Razuli and Arlor stabbed
again, Razuli drawing blood from it's flank.  The Dragons exploded out of
the pit together, snapping the restraining branches like toothpicks.  One
lashed out with it's claw at Razuli, ripping into his arm, while tearing away
the webbing with it's other claw.  The other turned to Kortul and spit;
Kortul avoided the glob, but the stuff splashed and spattered him.

     The two spread their great wings, and seemed about to take to the
air; Topash called the humble creeping shrubbery of the swamp floor to hold
them, which it did, for a time.  More magic missiles streaked out of the
bushes.  Razuli got a lucky hit on his dragon and snapped one hollow wing
bone; Arlor stabbed at it's underbelly, but the short sword did not enter.
Kortul missed completely.  Kortul's dragon tore it's feet loose and leaped
to the skies, all the while keeping it's beady eyes fixed on Kortul.  The
other bellowed it's pain and frustration, and, howling, leaped full onto
Razuli, clawing and biting and tearing at it's tiny tormenter.  Razuli was
barely able to preserve his own precious hide.

     The airborne dragon looked to it's mate.  It knocked Arlor away with
it's tail, stunning him, and then tried to snatch Kortul up in it's claw; it
missed.  The other dragon lunged for Razuli, driving him to the ground and
biting at him.  A Web appeared on the airborne dragon's wings, so that it
fell, nearly on top of Kortul.  Kortul smashed it twice over the head, until
it lay still.

     Razuli ran away from the Dragon; it did not pursue, but instead
turned toward the tree where Kory was still loudly playing.  It never got the
chance to do anything, however; Kortul stabbed it in the gut from behind,
and with a final hiss, it expired.

\begin{description}
\item[Kory:] ``All right!  We be bad!"
\item[Razuli:] ``Medic!"
\item[Kortul:] {\em Sneers}
\item[Arlor:] ``Money!"
\item[Dania:] ``Is there any loot in that hole?"
\item[Topash:] ``Yes, look.  I shall see to our stricken companion's revivification."
\item[Kortul:] ``Good pile.  Coin, other stuff."
\item[Dania:] ``Great.  Sort through it, and see if there's enough to buy Navero a
        resurrection."
\item[Topash:] ``I thought that issue had been settled."
\item[Kory:] ``By no means!  Let us all sit and argue about it for a longish while.
       I personally favor bringing back dear ol' darling Navero.  What is
       money if you don't have someone to make fun of?  I mean, let's be
       reasonable here."
\item[Razuli:] ``C'mon, he was practically useless.  But if you really want, I guess
         we can try.  I hope they take teeth."
\item[Dania:] ``You really shouldn't talk about getting rid of all the people who
     are useless, dear."
\item[Topash:] ``I really must oppose this.  This defiance of the cycle of nature 
         runs rampant, but denying the natural course of birth and death is
         morally indefensible.  I do not favor any sort of resurrection of
         the body; it should return to nature, the mother of all."
\item[Razuli:] ``Look, kids, I'm not gonna end my life as fertilizer."
\item[Dania:] ``You already are."
\item[Kory:] ``Ah\ldots  I just love lively, well-reasoned debate."
\item[Topash:] ``Perhaps we can compromise on this.  It can be arranged to have him
         reincarnated, if you really want him back."
\item[Dania:] ``Yeah, right.  Have him come back as a beaver."
\item[Kory:] ``Well, he likes water.  Look how many times he fell out of the boat!"
\item[Dania:] ``Oh, shut up.  What's in the pile?"
\end{description}

     The pile contained quite a bit of coin, broken pottery, shards of
broken glass, colorful pebbles, and other bright shiny refuse; a mixture of
the valuable and valueless, thrown together haphazardly.  We set to work
separating it; piles of gold stuff, silver, possibly-magical items, and old
junk.  We were in the midst of this when, right out of nowhere, a bolt of
lightning struck the earth nearby, with a great flash and cloud of smoke.
The earth trembled as if a God had flicked it with his smallest finger, and
we were all knocked off our feet and sprawled on the ground.

\begin{description}
\item[Awesome Reptilian Voice:] ``HHUMMANNSSS!!!"
\item[Party:] All weapons mysteriously find their way into our hands.
\end{description}

{\em Smoke clears, reveals Awesome Reptilian Bipedal Figure.}

\begin{description}
\item[Awesome Reptilian Voice:] ``I am Thor, favored of the Snake Lords Who Must Not
        Be Named!!  You have been busily dissipating the Reptilian Lifeforce
        in this part of the world!!  This will come to an End!!"  {\em Raises
        Truly Awesome-looking War Hammer.}
\item[Dania:] ``Oh shit, we're dead."
\end{description}

\begin{quote}
``Jeff, isn't your pet iguana named Thor?"\\

``Why, yes, he is.  Why do you ask?"\\

\ \ \ --- Dan Parsons\\
\end{quote}


\end{document}



