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\title{The Greyhawk Campaign}
\author{\copyright1990 Ed Zeamba}
\date{}
\maketitle
\setcounter{page}{74}

{\it \noindent
{\Large T}his is the write-up of an AD\&D v2 campaign in
which Ed participated. In his own words, ``I labored
to drag from what can loosely be termed as my `memory'
the events of our first session, only to find that `good'
storytelling is the ability to dramatically re-create mundane events
and to spruce-up the more memorable moments. The following writing style,
if it may be honored by 
dubbing it thus, is not original by any stretch of the word.  Many 
netters, Dan Parsons, Jeff Stehman, and  Charles Leone to name a few, 
have influenced this work, and I hope that it will not discredit 
them, but rather add another great saga to FRP'ers worldwide.
Alas, my first try at the art of storytelling."}\\

\begin{center}
{\huge Chapter I}
\end{center}

{\noindent This is a log of the adventurers who the great god of Dungeon Making (DM)
brought together to save the world of Oerth, but first they would have to
gain experience in the greatest challenge yet to face mankind (and womenkind):
The Great Gygaxian Saga --- Temple of Elemental Evil, Scourge of the Slave Lords,
Against the Giants, Descent into the Depths of the Earth, Vault of the Drow,
and ultimately Queen of the Demonweb Pits.\\

{\noindent T}he foolhardy few: Sniff, sniff\ldots Yep, I smell PCs.

\begin{center}
\begin{tabular}{rl}
Nightshade	  & human witch conjuress\\	
Tarreth Ebonshire & elven mage/thief \\
Luminar Lawman    & human priest of Pholtus\\
Zardan Zelaznar	  & half-elven priest \\
                  & \ \ \ \& ranger of Ehlonna\\
\end{tabular}
\end{center}

Year 1, month 1, day 1.  No, no, no.  Too drab.\\

{\noindent \Huge W}hat has gone before\ldots

It has been over a millennium since the Great Baklunish-Suloise Wars and
the creation of the Sea of Dust by the Invoked Devastation of the Rain of
Colorless Fire, nearly eight centuries since the founding of the Kingdom of
Aerdy, and five hundred and eighty years since the crowning of first Overking
in Rauxes.

{\em CY. 580, Coldeven Spring, day 1}

{\sf As told by Tarreth of Highfolk\ldots}\\

While each of our own backgrounds have yet remained unspoken, it is amazing
(perhaps uncanny) how we came together forming our little band, companions 
from the beginning, never a harsh word spoken, knowing somehow that our
destinies were intertwined\ldots so why role-play about it.

     We traveled north on foot from the town of Safeton.  The weather turned
cold and cloudy as we approached the small hamlet of Restenford located where 
the Selintan empties into the Woolly Bay.  In the late afternoon we were     
ambushed by nine orc raiders led by a half-orc wielding a glowing longsword.
(This sight would soon become common so this will probably be the last time
I mention it.  No. I'm not talking about the Orcs, but the magical sword!)

\begin{description}
\item[Round 1:] ``Sleep, Color Spray, Command: Freeze."
\item[Round 2:] We made quick work of remaining fodder.  
\item[Party:] (exclaims) ``Huh? Where is the challenge? The Danger.  The Risk\ldots?"
\item[Voice from the heavens:] ``Perhaps {\em all} monsters should have max hit points
and innate spell abilities, magic resistance\ldots"   
\item[Party:] (quickly) ``Whew!  That was a close battle.  Yea, I guess we just got 
	lucky\ldots  yea that's it, we were just lucky."
\end{description}

We ended our four day journey in Falco's Tavern.\\

{\em Coldeven Spring, day 5}\\

The next morning Luminar and Zardan are enjoying a late meal.  

	Zardan is one of those rugged types, who happens to have pointed ears.
(this is Greyhawk, not the Realms) Yes, he's a half-elf. He turns out to be a
woodsman and a priest of Ehlonna [of the forests]. He seemed pretty gruff for
one with elven blood. Must be his human side. It's too bad he's unlucky. He's
been missing easy kills too often. What a ``great warrior"! 

	Luminar is a {\em very} outspoken priest of Pholtus [of the Blinding Light],
always trying to get me to convert. I swear I could be a character witness for
the human, were he ever to need one. Mostly a goody-goody, but he seemed very
cold-hearted about ridding the world of evil, as if he would feel no remorse
for ending the lives of evil creatures. That's something rarely seen in humans;
most of them either are altruistic fools or creatures with only themselves
in mind. He seems to be an okay fellow, now if he would just shut his vocal
organs about Pholtus\ldots

\begin{description}
\item[Luminar:] ``Did you see the way the townspeople were staring at Nightshade?"
\item[Zardan:] ``Yea, she does have nice\ldots"
\item[Luminar:] ``No! They look at her as if she were evil.  I do not think we should 
	remain in town long."
\item[Zardan:] ``Well u heard them strange sounds from her room last night
	didn't ya?  It was like she'za topic of some argument.  Strange
	voices talking to her I heard\ldots"
\item[Luminar:] ``Perhaps we should ask Tarreth, now that he is awake."
	(beckons to Tarreth who is busy flirting with some barmaids)
\end{description}

After whispering a private something into the wench's ear, (who abruptly 
squealed then giggled) I shot her a last wink and left to seat myself at my
companions table noting the look of disapproval on Luminar's face.

I Tarreth Ebonshire, your narrator, am but a simple rogue.  All I need is
enough sleep for two men, wine for three, and enough women for four.
I travel here and there, most recently amoung my fellow elves in the land
of Highfolk, living by a simple rule: Anything that is not nailed down
is mine, and anything that I can pry loose is not nailed down.

\begin{description}
\item[Luminar:] (hesitating) ``Tarreth, what do you know about Nightshade?"      
\item[Tarreth:] (laughs) ``{\em Oh}, I see you already have an eye on our dark-mooded
	companion.  Come on now, I hear the priestesses of Pholtus really
	{\em light} up their men's nights."
\end{description}

(Zardan grins as Luminar's solemn expression is replaced by shock and dismay)

\begin{description}
\item[Luminar:] (in near-rage) ``Good Pholtus {\em No}!
        Need I remind you once again that
	I\ldots {\em We} of the Blinding Light seek only to illuminate the misguided
	and ignorant.  As for His priestesses, they are unwavering in devotion
	to {\em him}.  I will show you the light!" (Luminar prepared to target a
	light spell right between my hazel eyes; not an uncommon occurrence.)
\item[Tarreth:] ``I {\em know} what they are. Lou. (sly smile)
        I mean no blasphemy. Okay?
	{\em Lighten-up}!  No really.  I'll {\em enlighten} you about the dark women of
	your dreams." (laughs again)
\end{description}

(Luminar fails save vs. bad pun and his spell is disrupted)

\begin{description}
\item[Tarreth:] ``I am familiar with her type, dark and mysterious.  I'm sure she's
	got secrets to hide, if not already running from someone.  Strange 
	though that she didn't seem more at home in the forest, her kind 
	usually are --- dancing around boiling cauldrons and such
        at midnight\ldots"
\item[Zardan:] ``You mean she's one o'dem twitty forest hags. and you didn't tell us?
	Why if we all wake-up in a stew-pot one morning, I'll kill ya, well\ldots
	I mean I'd, I'd\ldots Damn Elf.  Always so carefree; It's foolish!"
\item[Tarreth:] ``She's not a `twitty forest hag'.  She's a witch though.  Wasn't it
	obvious?  You see her spellweaving?  Not like anything I've ever
	seen.  You notice that she don't need material ingredients, or when
	she does, they are something really strange?  And then there's the
	way people are looking at her."
\item[Zardan:] ``No, no.  I noticed that.  She's just\ldots (stops)"
\end{description}

Zardan's reply was cut short by a sudden silencing of some of the tavern's
patrons who gasped and made superstitious wardings with their hands.  Down
the stairs from the rooms above came a lady dressed in black with a long
flowing dark purple cape.  Her voluptuous form shifting beneath the ebony
garments moved swiftly and surely between two large men at the foot of the
steps.  They may have meant to accost her but one look, one glare from those
emerald eyes suddenly turned afire, sent them tripping over their feet to    
get out of her way.  Nightshade has that effect on some men.  No wonder they
fear her.  She acted as if she had a restless night.

\begin{description}
\item[Nightshade:] ``I am ready to leave." she said firmly sitting at our table.
(Both Zardan and Luminar stare at her.)

\item[Nightshade:] ``What's with you two?  Didn't bed the couple of sluts you were
	lusting for last night?"
\end{description}

It was good to see Nightshade in her usual mood, dark scowl and all.  She is
a Baklunish beauty nearly five and a half feet tall, raven-black hair framing 
her coppery-bronze skin.  A stark contrast to my elven complexion, five feet
of height and light colored hair.  \\

{\em Coldeven Spring, day 6}\\

     At noon the following day we investigated some local rumors about a
haunted, burnt-down house.  After an hour of searching we found a trap
door leading down to a series of tunnels, an old escape route no doubt. 

\begin{description}
\item[Tarreth:] ``What a horrid place!  It smells like a dwarf's stinkhouse."
\item[Luminar:] ``That is undead you smell, foul creatures of evil."
\end{description}

Luminar says a prayer to Pholtus and causes his holy symbol to glow. Sure
enough, soon six skeletons and three zombies came scuffling to the attack. 

\begin{description}
\item[Zardan:] ``Back, foul perversions of nature." (turn fails)
\item[Luminar:] ``Witness the Blinding Light!  Turn, abominations of life!''
(four skeletons turn)
\item[Tarreth:] (twin longswords) Hack-hack [blade gets stuck between ribs].
\item[Nightshade:] throws a chromatic orb and misses.
\item[Skeleton \#4:] hacks at Tarreth who lets go of sword, misses.
\item[Skeleton \#5:] hack with sword at Luminar, misses.
\item[Zombie \#1:] claws at Zardan who is protecting Nightshade, misses.
\item[Zombie \#2:] tries to squeeze into 10' corridor to get at Tarreth.
\item[Zombie \#3:] tries to squeeze into 10' corridor to get at Zardan.
\item[Tarreth:] tries to smash skeleton with hilt of sword; Crunch! drop \#4.
\item[Luminar:] draws flail and bashes skeleton, misses.
\item[Zardan:] tries to pierce zombie with 2 handed sword; misses badly.
\item[Nightshade:] performs the ``mage guarding the rear" defense.
\item[Skeleton \#5:] hacks at Luminar; barely misses.
\item[Zombie \#1:] claws at Zardan, hits and blood flows freely.
\item[Zombie \#2:] claws at Tarreth who parries the blow and retrieves sword.
\item[Zombie \#3:] claws at Zardan, misses.
\item[Zardan:] drops 2-handed sword, draws short sword and hits, drop zombie \#1.
\item[Luminar:] smashes last skeleton with a well aimed blow.
\item[Tarreth:] slices and dices zombie \#2, it falls.
\item[Nightshade:] watches the battle.
\end{description}

The adventurers get the jump on the slow zombie and slice it to ribbons.

Zardan healed himself, and the party moved on.  Over the next hour we met more
undead that we turned, and more, and more, turn-hack-turn-hack-etc.  We found
some magic toys on the remains of adventurers not as fortunate as us.  Tired
and nearly out of healing magic, we were attacked by a hoard of giant rats.
Throughout the combat, Tarreth proved to be the better warrior, although
he is a mage/thief.  Zardan went down bleeding from many bites and scratches.
Tarreth nearly killed himself trying to disarm a poison gas trap.
(Save or die at 1st level?  Well my die luck saved me, a popular trend.)

We cleared the place of giant rats and skeletons and were well rewarded by 
finding various coinage.  Utilizing our newest method of treasure finding, 
casting ``detect magic" and running through the tunnels scanning carnage and
dark corners alike, we found a couple of potions, an amulet of save vs. ``sleep",
boots of elvenkind, and a brooch of shielding.  We would have never known
what these items were if a strange wind hadn't blown in a scroll entitled,
``Ed's Instant Identify".  Of course, I first scribed it into my spellbook.

\begin{quote}
``We knew this was a Gygaxian powergame, we were 
powergamers, we were happy." 

\ \ \ --- Ed Zeamba
\end{quote}

\newpage

\begin{center}
{\huge Chapter II}

\vspace{.2in}

{\em CY. 580, Coldeven Spring, day 6 in the evening}

{\sf As told by Tarreth of Welkwood\ldots}\\
\end{center}

\begin{description}
\item[Nightshade:] (to Zardan) ``You a Great Warrior?  Ha. You sure fooled me."
\item[Zardan:] ``Ah. `de just got in a lucky blow, u know.  Besides, `dem was fodder
	I just used my left hand u know?  Yeaaap, it don't hurt none."
\end{description}

	Later that day we retired at The Tavern of the West Wind.  ``What kind of
elf is she?!?" I remember thinking upon seeing her dark skin and silvery hair
with blue eyes --- a unique but beautiful mix.  At first I thought she might be
a drow but her skin was a grey-brown, not ebony black.  She was ordering around
a dwarf carrying supplies twice as high as his head.  She was also bitching
about the heavy rains, which some of the suspicious town-folk had begun to
blame on us newcomers, Nightshade especially.  I at once determined that this
elf would become the newest member of our party.  She was now bitching about
the low quality of the tavern.  I sat down at her table.

\begin{description}
\item[Tarreth:] ``I can't tell if the storm is worse in here, or outside."
\end{description}

She shot me the most evil scowl I had ever seen. Maybe she has some drow in her.
(It was the DM's idea: half high-elf / half drow elf = full elf with a twist)

\begin{description}
\item[Tarreth:] ``A frown is so unbecoming of an elf."
\end{description}

The scowl lightened to the ferocity of a cornered lion.

\begin{description}
\item[Tarreth:] ``Perhaps a drink will loosen your tongue." 
\end{description}

My charm eventually won over her and within minutes she had agreed to join our
party, she {\em and} the dwarf.  Oh well, you can't win them all.

\begin{description}
\item[Dwarf:] ``How duz me know that you ain't be bringing me along as a pack mule?"
\item[Tarreth:] ``No really (smirk), anyone who serves an elf is good enough for us."
\item[Zardan:] (suppressing a grin) ``And besides, you wouldn't fit the harness."
(Tarreth and Zardan look at each other as if considering it\ldots nah.)
\end{description}

Luminar's blank look is slowly replaced by a growing smile that stops just as
the dwarf turns to stare at him.

\begin{description}
\item[Luminar:] ``By the way, mule --- ummm\ldots dwarf, what is your name?"
\item[Dwarf:] (puffing out chest) ``I be Sergeant Clink Barrelchest, of the Greyhawk
	Militia, at now work'in on travel duty with dis\ldots female."
\item[Elf:] ``My name is Alliria
and furface here is {\em my} private, ah, well\ldots pack mule.
	(tries to hide a smile)  No really, he's good with hammers and
	axes, you know\ldots dwarf stuff."
\item[Zardan:] (smiling) ``Sergeant Furface BarrelGut, huh?"
\item[Dwarf:] growls ``Grrrrrrrr\ldots"
\item[Nightshade:] glares at Zardan and turns to comfort the dwarf.
``Don't worry dear; those legends about the great god of
treasure-placing, Gygax, are all true. You'll find more dwarven artifacts than I'll
have wands."
\end{description}

The DM glares, wondering how the PCs could possibly know what's in all TSR
modules? Only DMs ever buy those things\ldots\\
	
{\em Coldeven Spring, day 7}\\

	We bought horses the next morning and set off on the road out of town.
We were lucky to avoid the occasional gnoll patrol, as they stayed upwind of 
the dwarf. Continuing on, we emerged from the Dead Forest hours later, into a
rainstorm. Bone Hill stood before us, a monument to the
``typical-ruined-tower-on-top-of-hill" setting.
The vegetation lessened as we ascended the large
knoll.  Within 1000 feet of the ruins we spotted a lone bugbear guard.  He
was easy to see as two arrows sprouted from his skull.  It appears that
the female elf was an archeress from someplace called Beztuv DragunTree. 

	We entered the ruins through a hole in the southeast corner into a large
courtyard.  There was a set of double doors to the front, but we walked to
the gatehouse where we were prevented from entering by a rusted iron door.

\begin{description}
\item[Alliria:] ``Great!  How are we going to get through this fuckin' door.  We need a
	place to leave our horses, we're fuckin wet, bitch, bitch, bitch\ldots"
\item[Zardan:] ``Hey!  Look there's another shit-stinkin' bugbear.  Let's bag 'um!"
\end{description}

Nightshade incants a few harsh syllables and points at the humanoid. Shouting
``Wimbly!", a thin silken-strand shoots forth from her long pointing finger
wrapping itself around the retreating bugbear bringing it down. 

\begin{description}
\item[Tarreth:] (amazed) ``Fuck Spiderman!"
\end{description}

Zardan easily drags the webbed bugbear over to the waiting party
(he got a belt from the orc leader that adds +3 STR to its wearer)

\begin{description}
\item[Tarreth:] (speaking in orcish slobbering all over himself) ``Are there many of 
	you here?  Yes?  Well, you got a key to this door?"

\item[Bugbear:] (in harsh common) ``Huh?  Ah\ldots me only work at here. "
\end{description}

Zardan looking disgusted draws dagger and slices through the helpless
humanoid's throat like cutting through warm butter.

\begin{description}
\item[Bugbear:] (nasty, rated ``R'' follows) ``Arrrg! Gurgle, choke, sputter,
gag\ldots" (He dies an ignoble death.)

\item[Alliria:] ``Hey! You're a ranger. That is {\em Evil}."
(The word reverberates through room.)

\item[Zardan:] ``Naw, evil humanoids are bad guys, irrevocably evil.  You can waste the
	puppies as quick as you can find'um without fear of, ahh\ldots penalties.
	Besides they breed like rabbits."

\item[Tarreth:] ``Wow, that's good to know.  I got dibs on the next one.  Hey since when
	did you get so wise?"

\item[Zardan:] ``I was enlightened by a little bald gnome wearing a red robe.  He spoke 
	in strange riddles and I tried to follow him when he walked away, but he
	disappeared behind a tree."

\item[Clink:] (picking up pole from ground) ``Hmmm.  I get door open. yup.  Give me
	barrel over there."
\end{description}

Clink quickly assembles a nice Archemedian lever placing the pole under a crack
under the door. ``Grrrrunt!" [Crack] the door falls off broken hinges.

\begin{description}
\item[Nightshade:] ``What in Nine Hells was that?"

\item[Clink:] ``What the grunt?  Old dwarven secret: If you grunt loud enough you can
	do anything.  Ole Arnold Stonezenegger proved that one."

\item[Nightshade:] ``No, I meant that pole and barrel contraption."

\item[Clink:] ``Just a lever, stupid mage.  A bit of dwarven magic called Engineering."

\item[Nightshade:] ``What does it mean\ldots Engine 'er 'ing?"

\item[Clink:] (grumbles) ``Hell if I know\ldots"
\end{description}

We gave the poor bugbear a proper burial (i.e. we left it outside for the wild
wolves). Then we placed our horses into the small gatehouse.  There was some
commotion as Alliria's warhorse stomped a zombie into the ground.  After
calming the horses we found a broken bronze horn.
(Oh, well.  We didn't need an evil horn of Valhalla anyways\ldots )

After warming up we entered the northeast tower via an inner door.  There were stairs 
going up and down.  Taking the former, dwarf on point, we ascended to the second level 
(empty) and then to up to the highest level, the third.  I instantly caught sight of a 
glitter of gold embedded in the center of the floor and proceeded to pick up 
all that I could.

\begin{description}
\item[Tarreth:] ``Good dwarf.  Bring me the pickaxe if you please.  Gee this
adventuring stuff is easy." (filling his pockets)

\item[Dwarf:] (grumbles while walking to Tarreth) ``Hmm.  If I'm not [crunch]    
	mistaken, I detect [crack] unsafe stone\ldots [Break!] Whoa!  Umph! 
       (jumping aside new hole in floor) w\ldots o\ldots r\ldots k\ldots!"

\item[Nightshade:] (resisting urge to practice dwarf-tossing) ``Damn thick-skulled, 
	lead-boned, Barrelgut!  Where's Tarreth?!?"
\end{description}

{\noindent D}ust fills the chamber.  Thump. Thump. {\em Thump}!

\begin{description}
\item[Dwarf:] ``Hmm\ldots Yes.  I believe there are four stories to this tower."

\item[Tarreth:] ``Wheeeeeee!  Hey this ring is Fun..  I'm as light as a feather.  
	(seconds later)	Uh\ldots You guys better get down here {\em now}!"
\end{description}

Party rushes down stairs to see Tarreth standing in a pile of human bones
on one wall of a dark circular room.

\begin{description}
\item[Luminar:] ``These {\em were} undead skeletons.  About twenty I would estimate."
\end{description}

[Poof!]

\begin{description}
\item[Nightshade:] ``I sense that we were not supposed to destroy them this easy."

\item[Zardan:] (looking opposite direction with other PCs) ``What makes you think that?"
\end{description}

[Scuffle, slide, scuffle]

\begin{description}
\item[Nightshade:] (heading up stairs) ``Ask the twenty skeletons that just appeared 
	behind us!"
\end{description}

(Readers note: Our DM can be ghoulish at times.  Mou-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)

	I saw the skeletons too late as I was busy dusting myself off.
Alliria the archeress reacted quickly sending a pair of sheaf arrows into
the rotley crew before they could close to melee.  One rebounded harmlessly
while the other splintered a bonejob's sternum barely slowing it.  The first
skeletons clawed the backs of the two priests while the dwarf assaulted his
pair with twin hand axes.  

\begin{description}
\item[Zardan:] (getting clawed) ``{\em Ahhh}! (tries to parry with holy symbol)
{\em goddamnit}!"
	(9 skeletons turn) Hey!  How 'bout that. "

\item[Luminar:] (spins wildly) ``Recoil in the name of Pholtus, He whose Light\ldots"
	(6 more turn as Luminar rambles on about the glory of Pholtus)
\end{description}

	Standing atop the mound of rubble and bones I join the archeress in
missile fire.  Clink drops his skeletons amidst a flurry of dwarven curses.
Bone (\& sentence) fragments everywhere.  Luminar, pleased with the turn of
battle, cries a praise to his god and sweeps two skeletons with his new magic
flail.  Soon we manage to beat the foul magicks of the the remaining bonejobs
and rush upstairs to catch our breath.

\begin{description}
\item[Nightshade:] ``Took ya guys long enough, leaving me up here all alone\ldots"

\item[Zardan:] (quite pissed) ``Ya, thanks fer your help\ldots {\em witch}!"
	(quickly solemns as if realizing the implication of his words)

\item[Nightshade:] (scowling) ``Looks like you got hurt\ldots again. (threatening)
	Why don't you go to sleep. (evil smile)

\item[Alliria:] ``Enough of this!  Now we were caught off guard.  Let's just make
	sure we are more careful next time.  Right Clink!? "
\end{description}

I love it when she takes command, so beautiful when she is angry.  Those
blazing eyes, high cheekbones, and luscious lips.  So beautiful and firm,
and those bouncing full\ldots (SLAP!!) ``Stop looking at me like that!"

\begin{description}
\item[Tarreth:] ``Ahh, ju\ldots just checking to see if you are alright."  
That was lame but oh well.  I guess I'll just have to check her out from
behind, not that it's bad or anything\ldots  So fast and\ldots strong? {\bf Ouch!}
\end{description}
\ \\
\vspace{7in}
\begin{quote}
``I hate it when that happens." --- Ed Zeamba
\end{quote}

\end{document}
