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\title{Life, Death, Paper and Dice}
\author{\copyright1990 Aaron Miaullis}
\date{}
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{\it \noindent
{\Large R}emember, boys and girls\ldots characters are people too, and
here's a story that brings it home via a cheating DM and one Negard fit for
slaughter.\\}

{\noindent \Large N}egard the Outcast pulled himself laboriously along the
jagged edge of the granite ridge, a trail of blood flowing freely
from the gaping sword wound in his abdomen.  His throat felt
hoarse from the granite dust in the air. Some sixty to seventy
feet below him a battle was still in progress as the rest of his
party (an elven ranger/cleric named Settler, a mage known as the
Silent One and Eric the paladin) fought valiantly against the
hordes of dark elves that surrounded them on all sides.  Negard
could see the tiny arrows of his cousins being deflected by the
Silent One's invisible shield and Eric in melee with eight
swordswomen.  Negard knew his friends were in no trouble; they
had survived worse odds.  He was more concerned for himself, the
wound had the feeling of a slow poison to it.  It was as if the
life was being drained away from him.  Even his dark skin was
taking on a pale luster, and his elven vision showed there was a
loss of heat in this fingertips.  Still, Negard crawled slowly up
the ridge of the cavern entrance.  Every time he stopped he could
hear the {\em booming} voice like the pronunciation of doom, but none
of his friends could hear over the sound of the brawl.  Negard
reached the apex of the subterranean gate and looked over his
shoulder at the trail of blood that extended all the way down to
the cavern floor like some ugly snake.  Negard the Outcast
steeled himself, marshaling the last of his energy and drew both
his longsword Assslicer and the short sword he ``borrowed" from
Eric.  With his ear to the rock he could hear footsteps of the
creature that approached the gate, behind his friends.

	With a shout the creature emerged from the entrance.  It
stood fifty feet tall with blood red skin, eight arms (each with
a flaming curved sword twenty feet long), clawed feet and a
gaping mouth of foot long teeth with a forked tongue that dripped
acid on the cavern floor.  It was facing the stunned party, with
it's back to Negard.

	With a leap Negard left his perch and fell down onto the
back of the creature, his swords both going in between its
shoulder blades - bisecting the vertebra and slicing into its
lungs.  Negard fell, his swords protruding from the still
thrashing creature, and flipped over to see the jagged granite
floor come up to meet him.

	``Damn!  That was my favorite character!"

	Negard felt no pain.  He felt rather odd floating above five
the five human children below him dressed in bright clothing with
odd designs.  One was hiding behind a small paper screen and the
other four rolled dice of perfect shape and of fantastic colors. 
One child who had a red shirt with the letters A-D-I-D-I-A-S on
it had stood up and was looking at a piece of paper he had
written a complex formula on.

	``Hey Fred, how about cutting me a little slack for a heroic
death?" the kid dressed in red pleaded.

	The kid behind the screen rolled some dice absently as he
looked into the air.

	``Well, I will let Settler throw his flask of super healing
at Negard if Joe wants to risk it.  Remember I'm only being nice
because of the glorious death precedent.  Remember that Edger."

	The child in red named Edger looked over at the Joe person. 
Joe crossed out a scribble on the paper in front of him.  Then
the Joe person put down his odd stylus, grabbed some dice and
nodded his head.

	``Alright!  Come on Joe, get that 20!  My character needs
it!" Edger shouted.

	Joe flipped an odd looking die onto the table.  The gem-like
die rolled the length of the table to come to an eventual stop at
the edge of the table.  The number was 19.  Everyone looked over
at Fred.

	``Is it enough?" asked Edger?

	``OK, I'll be generous this time.  Negard bets hit with the
potion and gains...."

	Another couple of dice were rolled behind the screen. 
Negard saw four six sided dice roll.  The numbers were one, one,
one and two.

	``Okay!  I rolled really good this time, Negard gets twenty
one hit points back!" Fred said.

	Negard felt pulled down into the piece of paper in front of
Edger just as Fred said the number twenty one.

	Negard, splattered with a liquid, landed on the ground and
rolled in to a crack in the side of the wall.  The party was
finishing off the dying creature.  After the creature was dead
they walked over to Negard.

	``Well," asked Settler, ``did you go to Valhalla there for a
minute?  Good thing I was able to hit you with that flask of
healthy waters before you hit the ground."

	``Yes good thie... I mean entrepreneur, did you have one of
those out-of-body experiences we all hear about?"  Eric had
politely handed Negard his longsword and was holding his own
short sword as if to stress a point.

	``Yes... we're all made out of ink marks and paper.  There
were a group of children arguing over our fate and rolling dice
all the time."  Negard shook his head to clear the horrible
vision.  ``They even cheat on the dice, can you believe that?"

	Eric leaned over and put a comforting mailed hand on
Negard's head.

	``Obviously you hit head first.  Let's go off and find a pub
on the surface for a drink.  I think you need one."

	Negard shook his head again.  ``Well, maybe I do.  Lots."

	As they left the cavern Eric's laughter could be heard,
``Pieces of paper, really Negard you have some imagination!  You
make it seem like some game!"\\

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\ \\
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\begin{quote}
``So Bill, tell us about holographic food.''\\
\begin{tabbing}
\ \ \ --- \=Steven King\\
\>Software Archaeologist\\
\>{\em veck@ddsw1.MCS.COM}\\
\end{tabbing}
\end{quote}
	
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