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\title{--- Navero --- \\ Of the Correct and Unalterable Way}
\author{Chapters XI, XII, and the `teens}
\date{\copyright1990 Daniel Parsons \\ Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA}
\maketitle
\setcounter{page}{22}

{\it
{\Large N}avero, of the Correct \& Unalterable Way, made his debut on
the Internet during the 89-90 school year and has been the Roleplayer's
favorite alterboy ever since. Chapters eleven thru nineteen appear below with the
author's consent.\\}

\vspace{.2in}
\begin{center}
{\huge --- XI ---}
\end{center}

When last we saw our heroes\ldots (and heroine)

\begin{itemize}
\item{Navero, male human cleric, 2nd level}
\item{Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 2nd level}
\item{Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier, 2nd level}
\item{Kortul, male human fighter, 2nd level}
\item{Razuli, male human fighter, 1st level}
\item{Arlor, male dwarf thief, 1st level}
\end{itemize}

\ldots they were in the large cavern just beyond the staked barrier in the Orc
caverns.  There were entrances in the north and east, with the entrance they
came in the west.  The cave was dry, dead, and uninteresting.  We decided to
continue; there was an immediate disagreement about which way to go, but it
was eventually decided to go north.  We trekked up there, and discovered
another cave, only there was no floor.  Instead, there was a pit filled with
bubbling molten lava.  The heat was quite intense, and the sulfurous gasses
produced almost unbearable.  Another entrance was visible, about 20 feet to
the left, but we elected not to try for it.  At least, most of us.

\begin{description}
\item[Arlor:] ``You want me to what?"

\item[Razuli:] ``C'mon!  It's simple!  We just tie a rope around you, and you climb
	 the wall over the lava until you reach that exit!  Then, we follow
	 you over on the rope."

\item[Arlor:] ``Um\ldots climb a smooth wall over boiling lava?"

\item[Rourk:] ``Whatever is on the other side is sure to be very interesting.  Else,
	there would not be any lava.  Surely you do not believe it could
	have occurred naturally in these regions!  Or perhaps you do.  But
	that does not matter; I will not allow a dwarvish coward to keep me
	from glory and renown."

\item[Kortul:] ``Too risky.  Fumes could kill us.  Go other way."

\item[Navero:] ``I don't want Arlor to go.  We should go the other way.  It smells
	 very bad."

\item[Dania:] ``Right.  Come on."

\item[Rourk:] ``I see.  As I am outvoted, I shall go along with it.  Don't say I am
	insensitive my companions' fears."

\item[Razuli:] ``Why don't you go in, Rourk?  Maybe it's just an illusion and if you
	 try, you can walk right across."

\item[Rourk:] ``Superior vision is well known in my family.  I would not be fooled
	by some craven spell."

\item[Dania:] ``Riiiiight."
\end{description}

	So we went back to the entrance cave and went to the east.  This
passage was quite narrower, and so we decided it would be best to go single
file.  Again, the problem of marching order was resurrected.

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] ``I do not believe such a large blade would be of much use in a small
	passage.  This requires a delicacy and agility you lack.  Besides,
	if you guard the rear of the group, there is less likelihood the
	enemy will smell us coming."

\item[Razuli:] ``Kids, kids!  We've been over and over this before.  Can't you just
	 go in?"

\item[Kortul:] ``Elf incompetent.  Already shown that."

\item[Rourk:] ``Incompetent?  You have managed to impress me; that had 4 syllables
	in it, and I had thought such to be beyond you.  But then, you would
	be familiar with a word used so often by those around you."

\item[Kortul:] ``Yes.  Been around you a month, now."

\item[Dania:] ``Oh, Jesus Christ.  Will somebody get the fuck in there?"

\item[Razuli:] ``Get my fuck into where?"

\item[Rourk:] ``I shall lead." (Strides off)
\end{description}

(Pause.)

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Do you think we should follow him?"

\item[Navero:] ``Well, he might meet something that might try to kill him.  And we
	 should be there."

\item[Razuli:] ``Yeah.  Then we can all sit and laugh at him."

\item[Kortul:] (Grumbles) ``Come on."
\end{description}

	We all went down the eastern passage.  After a short time, we saw a
glow up ahead.  This was coming from a pool of luminous liquid in the middle
of a small cave.  On the ceiling above this, there was a cluster of luminous
fungi; every so often, a drop of the glowing, gummy liquid would drip off
and {\em plop} into the pool.  There were exits in the east and south.

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] ``There you are!  Humbled by my example?"

\item[Kortul:] ``You make good scout."

\item[Rourk:] ``I am the advance guard.  Come here and see this discovery of mine.
	These mushrooms are obviously magical; what do you know of them,
	Mage?" 

\item[Dania:] ``Nothing.  Why should I study fungi?"

\item[Navero:] ``Actually, they look more like slime mold than mushrooms."

\item[Game Master:] What's a slime mold?  How many hit dice?

\item[Navero:] ``Uh\ldots I was a gardener at the monastery.  They're harmless fungi.
	 Please don't kill them."
\end{description}

	We quickly deduced that we could dip something in the sticky fluid,
and it would cling; coating an entire torch easily produced an illumination
that equaled the lantern.  Now having a better light source, we put out
the lantern and continued on to the east. \\

	We went walking east; the passage was wide enough for two at this
point, and so there was little argument abut marching order.  We went down
the dark passage, which curved gradually northwards and became very dirty as
it did so.  We were going up a slight incline, when all of a sudden, the
dirt beneath our feet burst open, and something leaped out and attacked!

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] ``Cleric!  Keep the light up!"  (Cuts, hits the main body.)

\item[Navero:] ``I got dirt in my eyes!"

\item[Dania:] ``FuckingshitgoddamnbastardwhatISit" (Casts magic missile)

\item[Kortul:] (Chops.  Hits.  Crunch.)

\item[Razuli:] ``A tunneler worm!  I saw one in a farmer's field!"

\item[Navero:] (Shoves glow-torch between it's mandibles.)

\item[Razuli:] ``Keep out of it's way!" (Shoves Navero into wall.)

\item[Navero:] ``OOF!"

\item[Thing:] (Sprays acid, torch dissolves.)

\item[Rourk:] ``GLORY AND DEATH!  GLORY AND DEATH!"  (Cuts into a leg.)

\item[Dania:] ``WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?!"

\item[Thing:] (Dives back into the ground.)

\item[Kortul:] ``Shit.  Not dead."

\item[Razuli:] ``Quiet!"

\item[Rourk:] ``I refuse\ldots"

\item[Razuli:] ``We can hear when it comes back!"
\end{description}

	We waited, still and listening, but it did not come back.  We never
did find out what it was, and had to go back for another glow-torch.  Further
up the tunnel, we discovered a large quantity of animal bones, crocodile and
boar and such.  Nothing here was very interesting, so we continued on.  The
passage was running almost straight north at this point, and began to narrow.
Kortul, in a rare moment of quickness, took the lead, and was the first to
notice the spider-webs.

\begin{description}
\item[Kortul:] ``Big spider."

\item[Rourk:] ``You are afraid of insects?  Very well then; stand aside."

\item[Razuli:] ``Navero, light a torch."

\item[Dania:] ``We don't need more light, Nav."

\item[Razuli:] ``That's what you do with spiders.  Roast 'em.  To a nice crackly
	 crunch."

\item[Dania:] ``It would be better if we kept, uh, open flame to an absolute minimum,
	you know?  I mean, we might hit a gas pocket, or catch somebody's
	clothes on fire, or something."

\item[Razuli:] ``What are you so bitchy about?  Too young for PMS."

\item[Dania:] ``Fuck you.  It's too dangerous."

\item[Razuli:] ``It's too dangerous to fuck you?  Well, I\ldots"

\item[Navero:] ``Please stop saying things like that."

\item[Razuli:] ``What was that?"

\item[Navero:] ``Please stop saying things like that to Dania."

\item[Razuli:] ``Well, {\em excuse me}!"

\item[Dania:] ``You're excused.  Bye."

\item[Rourk:] ``Will you all stop this annoying bickering.  You try my patience as
	it is.  Priest!  Light a torch."

\item[Navero:] ``Dania thinks we shouldn't."

\item[Kortul:] ``Get torch lit."

\item[Dania:] ``But fires are dangerous!  Fuck the torch\ldots"

\item[Razuli:] ``You're the only one here who can do that, Wizzerd."

\item[Dania:] ``Say that again and I'll blast your face off."

\item[Navero:] ``Uh\ldots"

\item[Arlor:] (Appears from tunnel ahead of us.) ``Um\ldots"

\item[Rourk:] (Jumps a bit, recovers.) ``What is it?"

\item[Arlor:] ``There are big spiders in there, yup.  Big as me."

\item[Dania:] ``Oh, that's no problem, then."

\item[Kortul:] ``See anything else?  Money?"

\item[Arlor:] ``Um, nope.  Nope."

\item[Navero:] ``Perhaps we should leave them?  They're not hurting anything."

\item[Rourk:] ``I agree.  There is little honor in slaying bugs, particularly if
	they have nothing of value.  Let us return, and go another way."

\item[Dania:] ``Aye."

\item[Razuli:] ``I what?"

\item[Dania:] ``Shut up."
\end{description}

	We all returned to the glowing fungus cave, prepared another couple
of glow-torches, and set off to the south.


\begin{quote}
``Why can't we run into something simple, like another Dragon?"

\ \ \ --- Dan Parsons
\end{quote}

 
\vspace{.2in}
\begin{center}
{\huge --- XII ---}
\end{center}



Our heroes (and heroine) went south from the glow fungus cave, down a wide
passage.  Dania, Navero, and Razuli held lights, glow torches obtained from
the pool.  Navero kept the map (I showed the DM that he really was carrying
pen, ink, and paper; also fireplace tongs, a folding chair, 11 herbs and
spices, and about a gallon of Holy water.  ``The Lords smile upon those who
are prepared.")\\

	The passage winded southward until it gradually widened into a small
cave with a dry stream bed going through.  The floor was sandy, especially
in the stream bed.  From the entrance, we could see no hostile entities, and
so we went in and examined the room.  One of the first things we saw was a
giant carapace half-buried in the stream bed; it seemed to have belonged to
some giant crayfish or lobster.  Other bits of cracked exoskeleton lay
about, but not much was left.  There were entrances in the east and west,
the ends of the dry stream, and in the south.  We decided to go west.\\

	The westward entrance was in the stream bed, yet was high and wide
enough for us to walk down.  At the end was a small kidney-shaped chamber,
with a large hole in the floor.  Also inside the room were 4 very large ants
- each about 2 foot at the shoulder.

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] ``I am becoming disappointed.  I am not here to exterminate insects."

\item[Navero:] ``Are they dangerous?"

\item[Dania:] ``Hope not.  Here they come."
\end{description}

	The ants came over and ran their feelers over us.  One took hold of
Kortul's boot in it's mandibles, but he kicked it, and it left him alone.
They apparently didn't think much of us, as they left us alone after that
and we were able to explore the room in peace.  Nothing interesting turned
up, and so we left, went back to the crayfish room, and headed east.\\

	Eastwards, the passage narrowed considerably; Rourk took the lead by
virtue of his speed of movement, and after some breastbeating and shouting,
we continued on.

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Jesus.  Can't you guys just take turns?"
\end{description}

	The passage continued, sloping gently upwards, until it branched to
the east and north.  The stream bed seemed to be continuing in the eastward
branch, so we took the northern one.  It sloped sharply upwards, into a very
wide passage with many small stalactites; it continued on north, barren and
uninteresting.

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Fuck this.  This place is boring."

\item[Razuli:] ``Fuck this?  You'd have to break off one of the stalactites first,
	 unless you're.."

\item[Rourk:] ``Shut up.  I am rather upset with this entire expedition.  I came
	here to gain glory and renown, and all I have found is dirt and
	cavern insects.  I suggest that we waste no more time here."

\item[Kortul:] ``Why is floor slimy up there?"

\item[Arlor:] ``Huh?"

\item[Navero:] ``Oh, ick!  It looks like a slug, only bigger!"

\item[Rourk:] ``Congratulations, o ye great unwashed.  You have discovered slime.
	There is not a foe worthy of me in this entire place."

\item[Kortul:] (Has moved ahead) ``Gold on other side."

\item[Razuli:] ``Okay!  How we gonna kill it?"

\item[Rourk:] ``You may fight the slime, if you wish.  Although why you would kill
	your own relatives, I cannot comprehend."

\item[Dania:] ``Let's not try burning it, okay?"
\end{description}

	We all went up to look at the slime.  It was a bright greenish, and
clung to the floor and walls, but not to the ceiling.  The air was very damp
around it, and the floor muddy.  It lay quite still, very wet-looking, and
rather odorous.

\begin{description}
\item[Navero:] ``It looks like pond scum, or algae."

\item[Razuli:] ``Probably green slime.  Burn it."

\item[Dania:] ``It's too wet to burn.  You can't burn everything, stupid."

\item[Razuli:] ``Who are you calling stupid?  Say, whatever happened to your horse,
	 anyway?  Did you misplace it?  Loose it?"

\item[Navero:] ``Uh\ldots"

\item[Dania:] ``Shut up, Nav.  Look here, mister: you have done more plain {\em idiotic}
	things since this started then the rest of us {\em combined}."

\item[Razuli:] ``Name one!"

\item[Arlor:] ``Can I say something?"

\item[Dania \& Rourk:] ``WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"

\item[Arlor:] ``Umm\ldots  Forget it."

\item[Razuli:] ``Look, kids: why don't we just burn out the slime, get the treasure,
	 and go.  Okay?  Okay!"

\item[Dania:] ``It won't burn, you idiot!  And fire is dangerous!"

\item[Kortul:] (Sticks torch in slime.  It comes out undamaged.)

\item[Navero:] (Examines slimed torch) ``Uh\ldots"

\item[Dania:] ``What?"

\item[Navero:] ``This is just some kind of algae, growing in a pool."

\item[Dania:] ``But there's no light down here for it to grow."

\item[Navero:] ``Well, it's just algae.  Something else must be feeding it."

\item[Kortul:] (Walks across, through algae.  Does not collapse screaming.  Reaches
	 pile of gold.)  ``Looks real." (Prods with blade.) ``Must be cache."

\item[Razuli:] ``See how easy that was, kids?  Just leave it to the humans to figure
	 it out, eh Rourk?"

\item[Rourk:] ``Quiet." (Marches through puddle.) ``Let me see that."

\item[Dania:] ``Okay!  Is it the Orc's stuff?"

\item[Kortul:] ``Not labeled."

\item[Navero:] ``If it is, we should return it to the people of the keep."
\end{description}

(Pause.)

\begin{description}
\item[Razuli:] ``Nav, we aren't working for them anymore, remember?  After the way
	 they treated us?"

\item[Rourk:] ``Indeed.  This would go only a little way towards repaying the
	injuries and insults they have given us."

\item[Navero:] ``But we already received a reward.  And this should go back to the
	 people it was stolen from.  The villagers are very nice people."

\item[Dania:] ``I'm sure they are, Nav.  But that reward was pretty small, you've
	got to admit.  And not what we were promised."

\item[Kortul:] ``Gold won, not given.  Besides, is it Orc's ?"

\item[Navero:] ``But they allowed us into their midst, us strangers.  They are good
	 at heart, just suspicious.  I mean\ldots"

\item[Razuli:] ``Look, let's stow it away for now.  When we get back, we can ask them
	 if they're missing any money.  If they are, we can give it back.
	 Okay?"

\item[Navero:] ``Well\ldots alright.  But don't forget to ask everyone."

\item[Razuli:] ``Trust me."
\end{description}

	There was no more in there, so we trekked back to the Dead Crayfish
cave and went south.  The passage almost immediately opened into a large
cavern, about 80 feet across.  Our torches glowed feebly in the vastness.
We heard a noise from the other side, across the cavern; a huge Orc came out
of another passage.  The orc had a cunning gleam in his eye, easily visible
from across the room.  He was wearing boiled leather, and had a big spiked
wooden club; he held two strange creatures on leashes.  He entered the room,
serene and confident; another humanoid, about 11 feet tall and with a
frightening amount of muscle, came in behind him.

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] ``It is their chief.  I recognize his stench.  Why he is so much more
	poorly armed now, I cannot understand.  His own foolishness, no
	doubt." (Draws swords)

\item[Party:]  We spread out, Kortul and Rourk move forward.  Razuli loads his
	crossbow, Navero starts a Chant.

\item[Game Master:] The Orc Chief releases the leashes, and the two creatures start
	     bounding across the room towards you, hungrily.  They make for
	     Kortul and Rourk.

\item[Kortul:] Could you describe these things please?

\item[Game Master:] Certainly!  They are about 4 feet at the shoulder, and weigh about
	200 lbs. each.  They are rust-colored, and have long antennae-like
	things on either side of their mouths.  They also have long tails,
	with the end resembling a propeller.
\end{description}

(Pause.)

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] Jeff, are these things Rust Monsters?

\item[Game Master:] Why yes, they do look rather like them.
\end{description}

(Longer pause.)

\begin{description}
\item[Kortul \& Rourk:] ``AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"
\end{description}

	And so, the biggest, buffest dudes in the party all fled in a blind
panic back through the entrance.\\

	Kortul fled to the ant cave, where he shucked his armor (tore the
straps, didn't care) and dropped his sword.  He picked up a piece of rock,
and prepared himself as the Rust Monster charged greedily after him.  His
first strike was, naturally, a critical fumble.  He tripped over the Monster
and landed on his face beyond it.  The monster ran past him and over to the
pile where his armor was.  Kortul struck again; another fumble.  He threw his
rock across the room.  The monster was eating his banded mail; it was all
disintegrating!  In a fit of true desperation, Kortul tried to lift the
monster away and shove it down onto a stalagmite.  Would you believe another
critical fumble?  He herniated himself, and the monster ate all his armor.
Full, it wandered away with a rather bored look on its face, leaving the
sword. (I have never rolled that badly with Kortul, before or since.  The DM
took pity on me and let me keep my sword.)\\

	Rourk fled to the glowing fungus cave and dived in the pool.  The
Rust Monster following him apparently didn't like the stuff (lucky for him)
and would not enter the pool.  So there was Rourk, standing up to his armpits
in glowing goop, with a hungry armor-eater at the edge of the pool.  Razuli
also fled, to the slime cave, but there wasn't a monster to follow him.  Of
course, you realize that this left Dania, Arlor, and Navero to deal with the
Orc chief and his Ogre friend\ldots

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Oh, shit."

\item[Navero:] ``Uh\ldots  What should we do?"

\item[Chief:] ``I give you the option of surrender." (Heh, heh.)

\item[Arlor:] ``One of the true people would never surrender!" (gulp.)

\item[Chief:] ``What will you do, then?"

\item[Dania:] ``FuckingShitGodamnBastardsKILL!!" (Casts Sleep on Ogre.  Ogre drops.)

\item[Navero:] ``{\em Hudsdg}!"  (Command - stop  in Orcish.)

\item[Chief:] ``Amusing." (Throws javelin, misses.)

\item[Razuli:] (Looks in) ``Are they gone?"

\item[Dania:] ``Yes, o my knight in shining armor."

\item[Arlor:] ``Um, what do we do?"

\item[Razuli:] ``Ah ha!  I'll engage him frontally\ldots  No, maybe Dania better do
	 that, seeing how she's got more front to engage." (Shoots crossbow
	 at chief, string breaks.)

\item[Navero:] ``He's trying to wake up the Ogre."

\item[Dania:] ``Fuck{\em you}!" (casts Magic Missile.)

\item[Chief:] ``Ow!  You sting, rottin' elf!" (Throws javelin, Dania is pierced.)

\item[Navero:] ``NO!  You, you, you\ldots" (Cure Light Wounds on Dania.)

\item[Razuli:] ``Oh, I'll bet he's scared now."  (Fixes crossbow, loads again.)

\item[Navero:] (Charges across room, swinging mace.) ``YAAAAAAAHHHH!!"

\item[Razuli:] ``Nav, move so I can get a clear shot."

\item[Navero:] (Fumble.  Trips and falls down.)

\item[Razuli:] ``Thanks, Nav."  (Shoots chief.)

\item[Chief:] (Laughs, throws javelin at Rizudo. Misses)

\item[Arlor:] (Throws dagger at chief.  Misses)

\item[Dania:] (Wakes up.) ``Owww\ldots.  Whasgoinon?  Oh!  Razuli, go get him!"

\item[Razuli:] ``ME?!  Oh, no no no, I really couldn't.  I insist."

\item[Arlor:] (Throws second dagger.  Critical, double damage.) ``Yeah!"

\item[Chief:] ``Grrrr\ldots."

\item[Dania:] ``YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF GUTLESS ASSHOLES!!" (casts Magic Missile)

\item[Chief:] ``You'll all die!"  (Swings at Razuli, hits.)

\item[Navero:] (Comes up behind chief.  Hits, does 3 hit points.)

\item[Razuli:] ``Oh, fucking shit\ldots" (Swings, hits)

\item[Arlor:] ``Can I strike him from behind?"

\item[Game Master:] No, Navero's in the way.

\item[Arlor:] ``Okay, I go over and kill the Ogre."

\item[Game Master:] Okay.  You slit it's throat, no problem.

\item[Chief:] (Swings, hits Razuli again.)

\item[Razuli:] ``Kids, I hate to be a nag, but could you help me kill this thing?"

\item[Dania:] ``Oh, so NOW were all supposed to pitch in, HUH?"

\item[Navero:] (Misses.)

\item[Dania:] (Hits it with her staff.  Chief starts wobbling.)

\item[Razuli:] ``All right!" (Strikes, Chief falls.) ``Damn, I'm good."

\item[Dania:] ``Shut up.  Just shut the fuck up.  SHUT YOUR FACE!  Ow\ldots"
\end{description}

	We found Kortul sitting on his Rust Monster, beating it's head in
with a rock.  It squeaked pitifully, then expired.  After much sound and
fury, we killed the other Rust Monster, and got Rourk out of the glowing
pool.  However, the sticky glowing fluid seemed to adhere to the metal of
his armor as tightly as glue; we couldn't wash it off or scrape it off, and
with it on, he looked like a giant tinker bell.

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] ``I cannot walk about looking like this.  It's indecorous."

\item[Kortul:] ``Yes.  Should get rest of you, so you match."

\item[Rourk:] ``Oh, really?"

\item[Razuli:] ``Looks like you'll have to go without armor." (chuckles.)

\item[Dania:] ``Don't worry.  It's not so bad."

\item[Rourk:] ``It's undignified.  I should look like a pauper."

\item[Arlor:] ``You'd rather look like a big fairy?"

\item[Razuli:] (Laughs.) ``No problem, he already is!"
\end{description}


\begin{quote}
``Rust Monsters work really well.  
I'm gonna have to remember to use them more often."

\ \ \ --- Dan Parsons
\end{quote}

\vspace{.2in}
\begin{center}
{\huge --- XIII ---}
\end{center}


When last we heard from the party, they had just engaged the
Orc Chief, an Ogre, and 2 rust monsters.  In the
battle, Dania was seriously hurt, Razuli less seriously hurt, Kortul got his
armor destroyed, and Rourk was liberally coated with brightly glowing fungus
juice. (Whatever possessed him to jump in the pool is beyond me, but the DM
was kind to us mere mortals.)  Navero and Arlor were unhurt.  If anyone asks
for it, I shall try to put a map in the next posting, as this dungeon crawl
may be hard to keep track of without it.\\

	We were badly enough off that we decided to just take the Chief's
head and go back to Swamp Keep to rest, and maybe fix Rourk so he didn't look
like a 5-foot, spiky tinker bell.  Kortul also expressed an interest in some
new armor.  So we went back north, through the Dead Crayfish room, north to
the Glowing Fungus room, and west to the entrance hall.  We went in calmly,
expecting no trouble: mistake \#1.

\begin{description}
\item[Game Master:]  All of a sudden, this incredible stench surrounds you.  Will
	      everyone please make a saving throw vs. Poison?

\item[Party:]  Rourk and Arlor make it.  Dania, Kortul, Navero, and Razuli fail,
	and immediately loose their respective breakfasts.  They all collapse
	to the ground and are helpless with nausea.

\item[Game Master:] You see two vaguely cat-like creatures come out from behind the rock
	formations and attack the party.  (Witherstench, I believe.)

\item[Rourk:] ``I engage both.  I shall soon deal with these rotten things."

\item[Arlor:] ``I run up and backstab."

\item[Rourk:] ``Coward."  (Swings twice, hits twice, does damage.)
\end{description}

(Generic fight sounds.  Rourk is cut up, as they have big claws, but is not
too seriously hurt.  Other party members recover slowly.)

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] ``Barbarian, I would have thought you were better at tolerating strong
	odors, seeing how you constantly acclimate yourself to them.  But
	your own weakness is merely a product of your inferior background,
	and I do not begrudge you your lapses."

\item[Navero:] ``I grab the bodies and run them into the room with the lava.  There,
	 I dump them in, so they won't smell anymore."

\item[Game Master:] You do it alone?  Anyone go with him?

\item[Party:] If he just runs off, he is alone.

\item[Game Master:] Navero, are you alone?

\item[Navero:] I guess I am.  I didn't think to take anyone with me.
\end{description}

(Mistake \#2, by the way.)

\begin{description}
\item[Game Master:] ``Well, the other one who was hiding in the entrance attacks as you
	 approach.  I assume you make a panicked cry for help."

\item[Navero:] Uh, yes.  ``eeep!"

\item[Game Master:] ``It attacks you, and\ldots  Oh my."

\item[Navero:] What happened?

\item[Game Master:] (rolls more dice.)  ``Oh, dear."

\item[Navero:] May I intrude?  I have some interest in the outcome of this.

\item[Game Master:] (rolls still more dice.)  ``Oh my.  Sorry, you're dead.  Critical
	strike to the brain, skull penetrated, instant death."

\item[Dania:] Oh, fuck.  Sorry, Dan.

\item[Navero:] (Thud.)  (The player, not the character.)

\item[Game Master:] Well, the rest of the party hears this shriek from out in the hall\ldots

\item[Razuli:] ``Hey, where's that stupid priest?"

\item[Rourk:] ``I believe he went to dispose of the bodies."

\item[Party:] We all go running up there.
\end{description}

(More generic fight.  Witherstench bodies eventually disposed of in lava, by
Arlor and Kortul.  Party gathers around Navero.)

\begin{description}
\item[Razuli:] ``Well, this is just great!  What do we do with him?"

\item[Dania:] ``Maybe we can get him resurrected."

\item[Razuli:] ``That costs some serious bucks, magic-user\ldots."

\item[Dania:] ``Maybe we can get a discount because he's a priest."

\item[Razuli:] ``Right.  Step right up to The Late J.C.'s Body and Fender shop!
	 Special discounts to pure people."
\end{description}

	We all got out of the caves with no further incident.  Navero was
placed over his horse, and we rode back to the keep.  The ride back was
rather quieter than is usual; the characters seemed somehow preoccupied, 
although Razuli did try to liven things up.

\begin{description}
\item[Razuli:] ``C'mon!  Why the long faces?  We got the chief, so maybe we can get 
	 them to resurrect Nav as our payment.  I don't think we'll get any
	 more money out of them, anyway."

\item[Arlor:] ``That'd be nice.  Great.  Yup, I guess."

\item[Dania:] ``Razuli, shut up.  I'm not in the mood."

\item[Rourk:] ``Indeed.  Do us all a great favor."

\item[Razuli:] ``Kortul?"

\item[Kortul:] ``What now?"

\item[Razuli:] ``Okay, okay!  Jeez\ldots"
\end{description}

	We arrived back at the keep gate.  It was late evening; the sun was
setting behind Swamp Keep like blood splashing into the dirt.  Rourk and
Kortul gave the guards one look, and they opened the gate without a word.  We
went to see the official we had been seeing earlier; he had been preparing
to go home, but took the time to see us.

\begin{description}
\item[Official:] ``You killed the chief, but one of your number died.  I see.  Oh, it
	   was that young priest?  Truly, this is a tragic loss.  He will be
	   honored, of course, in the way of his faith."

\item[Dania:] ``Actually, we were thinking of trying for a resurrection."

\item[Official:] ``Well\ldots that is a bit out of my field, but I shall see what I can
	   do.  Give me the Chief's head --- thank you, keep it in the box,
	   and don't drip on the desk --- to show to his lordship, and then\ldots
	   ah, let me see\ldots."

\item[Razuli:] ``If it's too much trouble, we can get another priest."

\item[Dania:] ``Oh, please!  It's not like they grow on trees."

\item[Rourk:] ``Your attitude disgusts me, mercenary.  Truly, you are beneath any
	sort of contempt."

\item[Kortul:] ``May get a competent one, this time."

\item[Official:] ``Hmm.  Truly, he had noble comrades.  But take this (hands Dania a
	   token) to Brother Guilern at the temple of Kiliy.  Ask of him."

\item[Dania:] ``Thank you very much, for all your help.  You have been most kind."
\end{description}

	Guilern, as it turns out, was the high priest of the main temple in
the keep.  The token got the party in to see him, and he remembered having
spoken with Navero, whom he recalled as a well-spoken, if thick-skulled
youth.

\begin{description}
\item[Guilern:] (Examining body.)  ``Well, perhaps not so thick-skulled\ldots"

\item[Rourk:] ``Can you do it, o mighty holy one?"

\item[Guilern:] ``I must consult the goddess in this.  He is not of our faith.  And
	  naturally, the price for the ritual, both in physical and monetary
	  terms, is very high.  By the way, gentle knight; how did you come
	  to be painted with Shimmer Fungus?"

\item[Rourk:] ``An unfortunate accident.  Would you, most wise Cleric, know of any
	way in which the, uh, Shimmer Fungus might be cleansed from my
	armor?"

\item[Guilern:] ``It is extremely tenacious in it's adherence, but alcohol should
	  prove quite sufficient in it's removal."

\item[Razuli:] ``I think it looks great as it is."

\item[Rourk:] ``Do be quiet.  And thank you, noble Priest."

\item[Arlor:] ``Go get soused, I guess.  Yup." (chuckles.)

\item[Rourk:] (Irritatedly leaves.)
\end{description}

	Navero did not quite reach his eternal reward; he was halted by a
gentle tug.  This gentle tug became a gentle wind, unfamiliar but not
unfriendly, pushing his drifting soul back to where it once had been.  A
strange and stoical voice said, ``You are called.  Go."  And with that,
Navero opened his eyes, groggily sat up on the bed, looked about him in
bewilderment, and threw up.  \\

	It is interesting to note that when Rizudo died, nobody even
mentioned resurrection; but then, we didn't have the body or the money. (The
resurrection did cost a GREAT deal, by the way; most of the money we had.)


\begin{quote}
``Navero, don't ever do anything that stupid again, hear?"

\ \ \ --- Dan Parsons
\end{quote}




\vspace{.2in}
\begin{center}
{\huge --- XIV ---}
\end{center}



Navero was safely resurrected, but still needed time to recover, so the rest
of the party decided to take a break and heal for a while.  This was not to
be a leisurely break, as most of our money was gone. (The money for new armor
for Kortul did not come out of the party fund; we did not have a party fund
except in the special case of Navero.  Everyone paid for their own stuff, so
Kortul had to borrow from the other players.  Only Razuli wanted to charge
interest.)\\

	As poor as we were, giving the villagers back their money, as Navero
still wished to do, was out of the question.  Fortunately, the others were
able to convince Navero that they still planned to do that, but had spent
all the money on him, and so would have to go out and get some more.

\begin{description}
\item[Razuli:] ``Sure, we'll give them back all their money.  We were going to, but
	 you had to wandering off and get yourself killed."

\item[Navero:] ``I'm sorry.  You shouldn't have spent so much on me."

\item[Dania:] ``Forget it.  No problem."

\item[Razuli:] ``It was your own stupid mistake that got us into this mess.  Now,
	 kiddy, promise me you won't {\em ever} do that again for as long as you
	 live."

\item[Navero:] ``I promise, upon St. Glajmir."

\item[Razuli:] ``Good boy.  Now lie still, and don't let any more of your brain fall
	 out.  You need what you've got."

\item[Dania:] ``Razuli, can I talk to you outside a minute?"

\item[Razuli:] ``Sure.  You think she's hot for me, kid?"

\item[Navero:] ``Uh\ldots"
\end{description}

(They leave, go out into hall.)

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``If you ever talk to Navero like that again, I will fry your face off."

\item[Razuli:] ``Hey, whatsa matter?  Just a joke."

\item[Dania:] ``You're a joke, human.  Let's get out of here."

\item[Razuli:] (mutters) ``Boy, she is a witch today, isn't she?"
\end{description}

	Rourk and Razuli spent many of their nights in the tavern, Razuli
enriching the place with his meager funds, and Rourk letting him.  The
little Cavalier was not beyond good ale, but he never had any in the common
room, as he would have to take off his helmet to do so; instead, he and
Razuli sat and insulted each other for nights on end.  (I would never call
them friendly; to tell the truth, if there had been any intra-party fighting,
I think it would have been with these two.)  Rourk did stop by the temple to
ask about the Shimmer Mold.

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] ``Greetings!  You have the honor of addressing Rourk Ravensbane, of
	the clan Kuirtyhiasdall.  I wish to partake of your knowledge,
	concerning a certain substance I have encountered which may be
	potentially useful."

\item[Generic Cleric:] ``Oh?  How may I help you?"

\item[Rourk:] ``What do you know of Shimmer Mold?"

\item[Generic Cleric:] ``I know something of it.
     It is rare, but not so rare as to be of great
     value to anyone.  It's light will coat nearly anything except flesh,
     living or dead, and cling tightly.  It also serves as a heat insulator,
     but not so effectively as it does a light source."

\item[Rourk:] ``Ah.  I had felt that my armor was unusually warm that day.  Thank you
	for your services, gentle Priest, I am eternally grateful."

\item[Generic Cleric:] ``20 gp for Sage advice.  Payable now."
\end{description}

	Kortul proved quite asocial - he would often spend whole days and
nights prowling about the marshes, hunting and foraging and living off the
land.  Apparently, he felt that the keep smelled bad, his companions only
slightly less so, and the marshes slightly less than that.\\

	While in town, Dania went back to her master, so as to keep up with
her studies.  She didn't really like the man (who would?) but he did have a
great library, and if you didn't mind the sorts of stains you had to get out
of the carpets, and the things encrusted on the glassware, it wasn't bad.
Usually, she avoided him if at all possible.  Dania was washing the dishes
after a supper with a guest whom she had been {\em very} careful to avoid (the one
who wanted seven forks and twelve knives again), when space and time screamed.  She
found herself in her master's workroom.

\begin{description}
\item[Master:] ``I have work for you."

\item[Dania:] ``Sure!"  (*Big grin*)

\item[Master:] (A faint smile.  It disappears) ``I want you to go out and collect
	some brains."

\item[Dania:] ``Brains?"

\item[Master:] ``Yes.  Hominid will do, for now.  You should be able to find some
	 appropriate specimens nearby."

\item[Dania:] ``Brains?"

\item[Master:] ``{\em Yes}.  Three, from individuals with some variation between them.
	 And no diseased specimens.  Place them in this box, and they shall
	 be teleported here."

\item[Dania:] ``Brains?"

\item[Master:] ``You have ears, I perceive.  Have you used them recently, or are
	 they filled with dish-soap?"

\item[Dania:] ``You mean, living brains?"

\item[Master:] ``By the time you get them into the box, I should be quite surprised 
	 if they were alive.  But they should be reasonably fresh.  Now:
	 hop to it, apprentice."

\item[Dania:] ``Uh\ldots go out, and, uh\ldots {\em procure}, uh\ldots brains.
Cerebral matter. The grey-and-white stuff?"

\item[Master:] (pauses.) ``If you insist upon not using it, as you seem to be doing,
	there is always your own."

\item[Dania:] ``{\em Right}!  Bye!  I'm going now!  Chop, chop!"  (scampers out.)

\item[Master:] ``Apprentice?" (sounds slightly peeved.)

\item[Dania:] ``Huh?  Oh yeah, right."  (Comes back, gets box, scampers out.)
\end{description}

	Where, o where, can one find a loose brain lying around?  Perhaps
some calves brains from the butcher?  No, Master would never go for that.
Ummm\ldots  This town doesn't have a morgue, does it?

	Dania went wandering down the sunny streets, the utter possibility
of her errand high in her mind, when whom should she meet, but Razuli.

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Raz!  Fancy meeting you here!"

\item[Razuli:] ``*Hic!*"

\item[Dania:] ``You drunk already?  Jesus.  What's the occasion?"

\item[Razuli:] ``Schtoopid K-nigut flied to outdink me.  Me, the Mashter!"

\item[Dania:] ``Out-dink you?  Trust me, no one could do that.  Where's Rourk?"

\item[Razuli:] ``In dere.  *I WON ALL HIS MONEY!!*  Ha haaa ha hee hee hee\ldots"
	(Lands {\em splot} in a horse trough.)
\end{description}

(Dania goes in, finds Rourk in his room, passed out.)

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Ummm\ldots  No, maybe I'd better not."  (Leaves)
\end{description}

	And so she continued down the city streets, wondering where she could
find a likely candidate.  They abounded --- beggars and orphans and expendable
people of all shapes and sizes; but how, exactly, did one broach the subject?
``Hi there, I'd like to get to know you better.  Trust me, I'm only interested
in your mind."  Things were beginning to look grim, when a leper was run down
by a merchant's wagon in the street right in front of her.

\begin{description}
\item[Merchant:] ``What is that?  Get rid of before my family is infected."

\item[Dania:] ``Sure!  No problem!  Have a nice day!" (Drags body away.)
\end{description}

(Finds empty alley, hides behind some barrels, takes out knife.)

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Sorry about this, guy."
\end{description}

	Later that night, she got a wino who collapsed in the street and hit
his head on a paving stone.  Unfortunately, she got both of them back later,
with a short, terse note. {\em ``Quality matters, apprentice.
These are unacceptable."}

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Shit.  We were going back to the orc caves tomorrow."
\end{description}

	And so we did.  We rode through the marsh, walked into to the cave,
went through the great hall, over the barrier, into the entrance hall, past
the Shimmer cave, over the meadows, and through the woods, to grandmother's
house we\ldots ahem.  Past the Crayfish Cave, and into the Orc Chief's ambush
cave.  There were two entrances, one in the south and one in the west.  The
Ogre's body had vanished.

\begin{description}
\item[Navero:] ``What's that box on top of your pack, Dania?"

\item[Dania:] ``Never mind, Navero."

\item[Navero:] ``I don't like it; it seems\ldots wrong."

\item[Dania:] ``Nav, trust me, okay?"

\item[Navero:] ``Well\ldots okay."
\end{description}

	The western entrance, led to a long, narrow passage, terminating in
an exit to the surface.  It was reasonably hidden with brush and quite
unnoticeable unless you knew where to look.  The southern entrance (the one
the Orc Chief had come from) led to a pair of caves; one had a pile of
matted vegetation, several large clubs, and a box (opened, empty), and the
other a couple of cages, made out of wood.  Some rusty bits of iron were in
a sack in the room with the cages.  A long search turned up nothing of any
value.

	We returned, and got as far as the Shimmer Mold cave when Rourk
stopped us.

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] ``Gather some is this fungus extract will you?  I have a plan."

\item[Razuli:] ``Hoo boy.  Here we go."

\item[Rourk:] ``Silence in the presence of your betters, mercenary.  My mind moves
	in higher planes than you can understand."

\item[Dania:] ``Want to be painted again?"

\item[Navero:] ``Here, I got some in this sack.  What is your plan?"

\item[Rourk:] ``Follow me, and see for yourselves."
\end{description}

	He walked up to the cave with the boiling lava, and flicked a drop
into the lava.  A small portion of the lava solidified, and sank.  With a
flourish, Rourk emptied the sack into the pit, and formed a narrow, rough
bridge across the lava to the other entrance.

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] ``Now do you understand, my fellows?  I realized this from the moment
	I was coated with it.  And now, we may go across."

\item[Razuli:] ``About how strong is the bridge, Rourk?  Wanna walk out and test it?"

\item[Arlor:] (Toddles out onto bridge.)

\item[Rourk:] ``I will not have you\ldots" (Plants armored foot on bridge, breaks
	through.) ``\ldots attempt to fight anything you might find on the other
	side of that entrance, dwarf.  Scout ahead and come back quickly."
	(Examines foot; it is not too badly burned.)

\item[Arlor:] ``Um\ldots okay."  (Walks to other entrance.  He is gone for a short time
	when cracks start to appear in the bridge.)

\item[Navero:] ``Please hurry, the\ldots"

\item[Arlor:] (Appears, staggering) ``Duh\ldots  duh\ldots duhhh\ldots.  Yeeek!!"

\item[Razuli:] ``Arlor, get your ass over here."

\item[Arlor:] ``Droi\ldots drou\ldots droggy\ldots  DRAGON!!  BIG!!  RED!!  SMOKY!!"

\item[Dania:] ``Oh, fuck.  Get back here!"
\end{description}

	The party retreated over the barrier.

\begin{description}
\item[Kortul:] ``Tell what you saw."

\item[Arlor:] (Quivering slightly.) ``Dragon.  Big.  Bigger than other.  Red."

\item[Rourk:] ``Was it asleep?"

\item[Arlor:] ``I think not.  It looked at me."

\item[Rourk:] ``Ah.  Perhaps we had better leave, then."

\item[Kortul:] ``Yes."

\item[Dania:] ``Yes!"

\item[Rourk:] ``We can come back later and kill it.''

\item[Party:] ``ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR TINY MIND?''

\item[Rourk:] ``We have a means of reaching it.  And a heat insulator that will
	render it's feared breath useless.  And when it has gone to sleep,
	what possible threat could it represent?"
\end{description}

\begin{quote}
``I think he's been getting too much sun."

\ \ \ --- Dan Parsons
\end{quote}

\newpage
\begin{center}
{\huge --- XV ---}
\end{center}

A dragon!  A Red Dragon!  Not some panty-waist Wyvern or a baby Black, but
what seemed to be, from all indications, a {\em real live adult red dragon}!  And
that stupid Cavalier insisted that we go in and kill the thing!

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Are you out of your fucking mind?"

\item[Rourk:] ``Your insinuations are insulting to one of my stature.  One need only
	think of the glory that could be won from the defeat of such a beast
	to realize our only course of action."

\item[Dania:] ``YOUR only course of action!  Hell, I'M not going in there!"

\item[Razuli:] ``Arlor, are you sure it saw you?"

\item[Arlor:] ``Did my best not to let it.  Might have."

\item[Kortul:] ``Came here for reputation.  Get it, or die in attempt.  But we should
	 have plan."

\item[Rourk:] ``Exactly, barbarian.  You have a keen grasp of the obvious and proven
	facts.  Dragons as large as this sleep hard, and are easily surprised
	in their lairs."

\item[Razuli:] ``Oh, my!  Are you suggesting that we actually {sneak up on it}?  Don't
	 give it a fair, fighting chance?"

\item[Rourk:] ``I propose only the time-honored strategy.  One so uneducated as
	yourself would naturally see this in an incorrect manner.  As I
	realize your obvious limitations, you can be forgiven, for now."

\item[Razuli:] ``Rourk, you've come to your senses.  Sooner or later, I knew you'd
	 see I'm always right.  It just took time, that's all.  The thickest
	 *ahem!* helmets are always the hardest."

\item[Dania:] ``You are all forgetting something.  {\em We can't do it}."

\item[Razuli:] ``Think of all the treasure it will have."

\item[Dania:] ``Well\ldots  we can't do it.  It'll slaughter us."

\item[Navero:] ``If it isn't killed, what will it do?"

\item[Rourk:] ``That is plain and obvious.  The Orcs constructed the barrier, and
	maintained the poison on the stakes, so it obviously has some means
	of getting across the lava pit."

\item[Dania:] ``Like, maybe, swimming the backstroke.  How much money do Reds usually
	have, anyway?"

\item[Razuli:] ``Enough to keep us going for, oh, say, several years?"

\item[Dania:] ``I could buy a castle.  A small one, wouldn't have to be much\ldots"

\item[Navero:] ``Red Dragons are greedy and evil, aren't they?"

\item[Kortul:] ``The worst."

\item[Navero:] ``Then it will probably come out and ravage the countryside, and do
	 incalculable harm.  There is only one moral thing to do, and that is
	 to at least try to stop it, before it does these things."

\item[Razuli:] ``Right!  For morality's sake!"
\end{description}

	We returned to town, and borrowed money at the moneychangers.  The
sum was not great, although the 'changer charged some hefty interest, and we
all went out and got our training to go up a level, as appropriate.  The time
we spent would hopefully give the Dragon a chance to go back to sleep,
assuming that it did not see Arlor.\\

(Fortunately, this was 1st edition AD\&D, before the Dragons got nasty.  We
wouldn't even CONSIDER doing this now.  Not with a party like this.  The 2nd
edition has improved some things.)\\

	We trained hard.  Practiced all our skills.  Insisted that Rourk teach
everyone basic Drow Silent-Speech.  Bought fire-resistant backpacks.  The
works.  Dania's master was not pleased with her sudden interest in fire
resistance spells, seeing that she had not completed the task he had given
her.  However, he was willing to wait it out, on her promise that in just a
little while, she would be able to satisfy him with something even better
than expected.  In light of later events, it seems that he did not take the
opportunity to read her thoughts, as he had done earlier.  Perhaps it was
because he liked surprises.\\

	Finally, the day arrived when we felt that more preparation wouldn't
do us the slightest bit of good.  We rode out to the cave at dawn, tethered
our horses, and walked quietly into the first hall.  We ran rags and threads
and bits of leather strapping through all our armor, so it would not make as
much noise.  We tied soft soles to Rourk's metal boots; everyone else's were
soft enough to be quiet.  Then, we went to the Shimmer Mold cave, and coated
our armor and equipment, first liberally with the glowing liquid, then with
soot to kill the shining.  Everyone wore scarves over their faces, so they
wouldn't be exposed to the heat.  All of this was done in complete silence;
no arguments broke out, no one even spoke.  Even the use of silent-speech was
minimal.  For the first time, the party acted with unity; it would have been
depressing, if everyone weren't so scared.\\

	We practically emptied the pool of Shimmer Mold juice into waterproof
sacks, and carried it to the lava pit.  There, Arlor and Dania, the quietest
and lightest people, carefully made up a strong bridge to the other entrance,
wide enough and thick enough to hold up all of us together, but not enough
(hopefully) to support a Dragon's bulk.  Then, the rest of us joined them,
and we all went in.  \\

	Arlor spotted a thin wire stretched across the entrance; it led to a
precariously balanced pile of old armor, tucked into a hidden alcove.  This
trap was taken care of, once spotted.  The floor, we saw, had been coated
with some slippery goo.  We carefully covered it over with more of the soot
we had brought, careful not to raise a choking cloud of the stuff.  Navero
cast Resist Fire on everyone.\\

	There was about 20 feet of very wide passage, and then a cave about
80 feet across.  The rock formations were more numerous, but many seemed
ground down, roughened.  Far away, at the western end, was a pile of more
coinage than most of us had ever seen in one place.  Gems and jewels, and
more valuable things, glinted in the faint light the lava made.  And, most
importantly, there was the focus of all our thoughts.  It was not a deep red
at all, as I would have imagined, but a bright scarlet; and somehow seemed
small in the quiet immensity of the cave.  It was larger than it's pile of
treasure, though; and that made all the difference.\\

Its eyes were closed.\\

Its breathing was so very slow; maybe once a minute.\\

Its great wings lay flat, rustling with it's breath.\\

It looked deadly, even in apparent repose.  A thick dagger of a body, long
sword neck, adze-shaped head angling to thin jaws that could crush any one
of us instantly.  It's claws were straight, not curved sickles, tapering to
small graceful points so sharp they seemed impossible in something so large.
Its essence was glory and destruction, sheer power as an end to itself.\\

It reeked of the death it held inside itself.\\

A killing machine, in a way we could never approach.\\

The columns of living rock outlined the gold alter on which it lay.\\

We came forward for the ceremony in silence.\\

It opened its eyes.

\vspace{.2in}
\begin{center}
{\huge --- Navero XVI ---}
\end{center}

For a moment, everything paused.  We stared into its gold-flecked eyes like
they were the only thing in the world.  Then, as agreed, we scattered.
Kortul and Arlor ran to the right, Kortul to the fore, aiming his longbow,
and Arlor about 15 feet to the rear.  Rourk and Razuli went left, Rourk
forward with weapons drawn and Razuli loading his crossbow.  The Dragon all
too quickly shook off its sleep and stood, and moved its claw in a curious
way.  Navero and Dania hid behind the rocks, Navero starting a Chant which
would encourage his friends, and Dania fired off 2 magic missiles.  The
missiles streaked over across the room, and fizzed out on an invisible
barrier; a Shield spell.  So far, except for spellcasting, not a sound had
been made.\\

        The Dragon roared.  The earsplitting noise echoed enormously in the
cave's confines; we quickly realized it had been chosen partially for it's
great acoustics.  The noise was so loud that Navero was shocked out of his
chant, and Arlor and Rourk were stunned.  Then it breathed, a mighty gout of
flame, in the direction of Rourk and Razuli, at an angle guaranteed to get
both.  Razuli ducked behind a lump of stone, but Rourk, stunned as he was,
could not possibly get out of the way.  The flames blazed around them both; a
great blast of steamy residue flew off as the Shimmer mold which had coated
them was seared into ash, but they were alive.  Kortul fired two arrows; one
bounced off the invisible shield, the other from the creature's metallic
hide.  Dania swore and cast a Web spell about the Dragons feet.\\

        Kortul and Rourk charged; Arlor approached more cautiously.  Razuli
lifted his crossbow, but discovered that the string had been burnt through,
so he drew his blade and moved forward.  Navero resumed the Chant.  Dania
cast Cause Blindness; the Dragon shrugged it off.  The Dragon reared up and
lifted the web, gold showering from it.  It tore completely away from its
scales, and then it threw the sticky mass over Kortul.\\

        Rourk charged up the pile of treasure, but never reached the Dragon
itself.  One wing swung out, battering him away and almost throwing him into
Razuli.  The great tail swung out and knocked the struggling Kortul down,
and then the Dragon ripped into him with its claws until he lay still.
Razuli ran up beside it, and threw his entire weight behind his longsword,
stabbing into its leg; blood hissed out and the blade snapped.  Arlor threw
a dagger, which skittered across the scales of it's neck.  Dania moved from
the rock to a column which was closer to the action, while Navero continued
his entreaties to his gods.\\

        The Dragon paused, as if considering, and then breathed again.  This
time, the fire arced across the room, and enveloped Dania and her column.
Hair shriveled, and Shimmer mold boiled away.  Rourk got up and swung both
swords into one forelimb; he drew blood, but not nearly enough.  Razuli drew
his dagger, laughed at his own foolishness, and looked in the treasure pile
for a weapon.  Arlor tried to run around and get behind it.  Dania dropped
without a sound.  Navero ran forward to Dania, and quickly used his last
spell point to Cure Light Wounds.\\

        Kortul got up; he wasn't quite dead after all, and was able to rip
away the tattered web in one motion.  Rourk stabbed into the body, one blade
merely scratching the steely scales, and the other not penetrating nearly as
far as it should have.  Arlor threw his other dagger; the Dragon merely moved
out of its way.  Razuli saw a naked sword in the pile, gleaming in the red
light of the lava, with a blackened and bony hand still around the hilt.  He
took it without thinking.  Dania was still unconscious, and Navero began to
hear something from the lava pit; a crackling sound, unfamiliar.\\

        Rourk swung again.  Both blades grated across the scales.  Kortul
swung his great blade, and felt its weight come to a satisfyingly sudden
halt in the Dragon's neck.  Arlor finally reached it's hindquarters, and
tried to pick a spot to plant his short sword.  He chose the tendons of the
leg.  Razuli stabbed it beneath the tail, where he thought there might be
SOMETHING vital; the blade sank in almost greedily, and the Dragon actually
screamed. (Critical strike, genitals.)  Dania was jarred awake at this, and
cast another Web spell, but this time into the Dragon's open mouth.  The
cracking sound was getting louder.  The Dragon's eyes blazed, possibly with
pain but more likely with rage, and kicked back with both legs; Razuli was
torn from crotch to throat, and hurled back into a wall.\\

        The Dragon grabbed Kortul, and threw him into Rourk; both dropped.
With it's other claw, it tore away most of the web in its mouth.  Arlor cut
at it's leg, but it was like trying to cut through stone or steel.  Rourk
got back up; Kortul did not.  He had been thrown onto one of Rourk's swords.
Razuli lay there and bled.  Dania and Navero looked on in helplessness.\\

        Arlor ran to Razuli, and grabbed the shining, bloody blade from his
hand.  Rourk swung twice, cutting across the deep wound Kortul had made in
the Dragon's neck.  A good amount of blood rewarded him.  The Dragon looked
down at him, and its left claw came streaking in out of nowhere, followed
closely by the right; both hit, but the bite miraculously just grazed him,
ripping his chest plate to tatters.  Rourk was hurled away to the floor.
Dania cast Magic Missile; it somehow snuck past the Shield and made a slight
wound in the Dragon's side.  Navero threw a rock, but it fell far too short.\\

        The Dragon looked out across the room, to where Dania and Navero
were huddled behind the stone.  It seemed to be at the same time insulted,
and horribly triumphant.  Its breath roared out again.  Navero grabbed Dania
and threw his mold-laden cloak about them both as the flames surrounded
them.  The fires seemed to last minutes.  When it was over, Navero almost
gently dropped to the floor; Dania had been shielded by Navero's body, and
was nearly unhurt.  Rourk hacked at the Dragon again; it seemed to finally
be slowing down, although he did no significant damage.  Arlor ran up behind
it and chopped at it's leg again.  The sword was almost as long as he was,
and very unwieldy, but the slash cut nearly to the bone.\\

        The Dragon slipped down the pile, it's leg no longer supporting it.
Rourk smashed it over the head, striking for the eyes; he missed them, but
the Dragon seemed jarred by the impact, indicating it was weakening.  Arlor
swung, but the heavy blade was too much for him and he missed.  Dania cast
her last Magic Missile; they sputtered against the Shield.  The Dragon swung
with its great wings, blowing dirt up from the floor; Rourk and Dania got it
in their eyes.  It kicked back with it's good leg, and tore Arlor's legs out
from under him.  He dropped with two broken legs (Critical strike) and
fainted from the pain.\\

        Rourk struck blind.  He hurled himself onto the Dragon's sagging neck
and stabbed and stabbed and stabbed.  Blood hit him in the face and burned;
he ignored it.  Dania cleared the dirt from her eyes, and started limping
away from the column back towards the entrance.  The Dragon snarled weakly
and shoved Rourk away, slamming him to the ground and holding him underneath
one claw.  It looked into his eyes, and Rourk felt it trying to take hold of
his mind and Charm him, but he was one of the Dark Ones, and not to be so
manipulated.\\

        The Dragon's last desperate maneuver had failed.  Rourk stabbed up
into the golden eye.\\

        The Dragon seemed almost indignant.  Then, slowly, with a great
clash like steel on stone, it fell back onto its pile, and it's last breath
left it.  The thing was dead.

\newpage
\begin{center}
{\huge --- Navero XVII ---}
\end{center}

The Dragon was dead\ldots

(Note: chp = current hit points)

\begin{itemize}
\item{Navero, male human cleric, \\ 3rd level, chp = --4}
\item{Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, \\3rd level, chp = 2}
\item{Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier, \\3rd level, chp = 1}
\item{Kortul, male human fighter, \\2nd level, chp = --3}
\item{Razuli, male human fighter, \\2nd level, chp = --6}
\item{Arlor, male dwarf thief, \\2nd level, chp = --1}
\end{itemize}

(Our group plays that you must reach -10 to die; otherwise you are unconscious
and bleeding at 1 hp/round.)


\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] (stares numbly at dead Dragon)

\item[Rourk:] (stares numbly at dead Dragon)

\item[Dania:] (stares numbly at dead Dragon)

\item[Rourk:] (stares numbly at dead Dragon)

\item[Dania:] ``Rourk?"

\item[Rourk:] (stares numbly at dead Dragon)

\item[Dania:] ``Are you alive?"

\item[Rourk:] ``What?  Oh\ldots yes, I believe so."

\item[Dania:] ``Is anyone else down there?" (Starts limping forward)

\item[Rourk:] ``I shall see.  Are you injured, mage?"

\item[Dania:] ``Yes.  Ow.  Nav was carrying the bandages, wasn't he?"

\item[Rourk:] ``I believe so.  Check him, he looks hurt."

\item[Dania:] ``Everybody does.  Ow\ldots"
\end{description}

	Wounds were cleaned and bandaged as quickly as could be managed,
splints made for Arlor's broken legs, and Razuli's shredded torso tightly
bound.  Rourk tried to wake Navero for his healing spells, but Navero was 
beyond that.  Then Dania and Rourk went to inspect the Dragon and the hoard.

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Can I have the head?  It's for my studies."

\item[Rourk:] ``Hmm\ldots  It is a bit too damaged for display.  I suppose that it could
        fall into your share of the booty."

\item[Dania:] ``Great.  Thanks."  (Gets head, starts cutting out brain.)

\item[Rourk:] ``What are you doing there?"

\item[Dania:] ``Dragon parts are valuable.  Scales, organs, all kinds of stuff."

\item[Rourk:] ``Indeed.  But I shall not be one to dissect my dead foe.  It is enough
        that my deeds be recognized."

\item[Dania:] ``Uh-huh."

\item[Rourk:] ``I shall see about the treasure.  I am a Dragonslayer; my new status
        demands an improvement in my monetary position."

\item[Dania:] ``Right."
\end{description}

	The treasure pile was quite impressive up close.  Most of the coinage
was silver and electrum, but gold was present in significant quantity.  There
were also several interesting items; swords and rings and necklaces, a staff
and a book, and an odd crystal or glass ball, that seemed to have three
glowing shapes moving within it.

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] (Inspecting sword Razuli used.) ``Mage, come here and look at these
       things.  I wish your opinion."

\item[Dania:] (extracts brain) ``Just a minute."

\item[Rourk:] ``Patience is a virtue of mine.  Finish your task."

\item[Dania:] ``Yes, Rourk.  I've always admired your restraint."

\item[Rourk:] ``Of course you have.  Many do."  (picks up glass ball)

\item[Dania:] (Stuffs brain into box.) ``Alright, now\ldots what is that thing?"

\item[Rourk:] ``I have no idea.  It seems to have some things imprisoned within it."

\item[Dania:] ``Let me see."

\item[Rourk:] ``Hold.  I have not completed my own examination."

\item[Dania:] ``Rourk, give it to me.  It's magic, you shouldn't mess with it."

\item[Rourk:] ``You think me incapable of understanding?  Where I come from\ldots"

\item[Dania:] ``I don't wanna know about where you come from.  Just give it here."

\item[Rourk:] ``No.  I expect an apology from you." (walks off)

\item[Dania:] ``Rourk, you asshole, that thing might be dangerous!  Give it!"

\item[Rourk:] ``Why?  Do you think it might be especially valuable?  You have given
        me great insult, magic user, and I refuse to speak to you until you
        have apologized for yourself."

\item[Dania:] (snarl\ldots) ``Alright, I apologize!  Now hand the fucking thing over!"

\item[Rourk:] ``You seem *somewhat* insincere."

\item[Dania:] ``JESUS CHRIST, Rourk!  What the fuck do you <censored> want?  Alright!
        I apologize, I'm sorry I ever crossed you!  I'm <censored> sorry I
        ever even MET you!  Now give me the <censored> glow-ball or I'll
        sock you!"

\item[Rourk:] ``Oh, very well, then.  Catch!" (Tosses glow ball.)

\item[Dania:] ``NO, YOU IDIOT\ldots"  (Ball slips out of her bloody hands, hits floor.)
\end{description}

	The hollow glass ball almost exploded into many many fragments, each
of which faded into a cloud of smoke.  The wisps silently collected into
three blobs, and slowly solidified into three warriors, each in full plate
covered with exquisite carving, and with great swords at their sides.  They
looked majestic, awesome, enough to take your breath away.

\begin{description}
\item[Paladin 1:] (Looks about) ``Right!  Well, then.  Thanks for killing the Dragon,
           and all that.  *Harumph!* Terribly sorry, but we must be going now.''

\item[Rourk:] ``Hail, great warriors!  I am Rourk Ravensbane.  You are\ldots?"

\item[Paladin 2:] ``We are The Three Who Do!  Our mission is to rid the whole wide
            world of everything evil!"

\item[Dania:] ``Who Do what?"

\item[Paladin 3:] ``Uhrr\ldots"

\item[Paladin 1:] ``Here now!  Don't confuse him!  It's impolitic!"

\item[Paladin 2:] ``Look, everyone!  A lady in distress!"

\item[Paladin 3:] ``WHERE?!  I want the experience!" (Draws Chainsword.  BUZZZZ!!)

\item[Paladin 1:] ``A lady in distress?!  Here now, can't have that!" 

\item[Paladin 2:] ``She's the one over there who looks distressed."

\item[Paladin 1:] ``How can she be in distress?  Her captor is dead and her rescuer
            stands right there!"

\item[Dania:] ``Hey!"

\item[Paladin 3:] (Still whirling about, looking.  Careless swipe of chainsword
           takes out a rock column.)

\item[Rourk:] ``I'm afraid there has been an error."

\item[Paladin 1:] ``We are The Three!  We are the ultimate embodiment of all that is
            essential to Paladinhood!  We do not make errors, boy!  Only the
            evil and the ignorant insult us so! Do you detect evil on him?!"

\item[Paladin 2:] ``No."

\item[Paladin 1:] ``Pity."

\item[Paladin 3:] (Still looking.  Cuts Dragon in two and looks inside.)

\item[Paladin 2:] ``She's over there."

\item[Paladin 3:] ``Oh?  Ah!"  (Grabs Dania and charges for the exit.)

\item[Dania:] ``Put me the fuck down, you <several derogatory terms.>"

\item[Paladin 1:] ``Here now!  She's already been rescued!"

\item[Paladin 3:] ``Damn!  Hey, look at all those people on the floor, with negative
            hit points\ldots"

\item[Paladin 2:] ``Sorry.  He gets carried away sometimes."

\item[Dania:] (snarls)

\item[Paladin 1:] ``Right!  Well, then\ldots  Since you were good enough to let us out
            and all that, old chap, perhaps there's something we can do for
            you, by way of returning the favor, dontcha know."

\item[Rourk:] ``If you would be so kind.  Some of my companions have been injured
        in the recent battle with the beast you see."

\item[Paladin 2:] ``What, all these people?"

\item[Rourk:] ``Yes.  Do you possess any healing arts?"

\item[Paladin 1:] ``All of these men for one Dragon?"

\item[Rourk:] ``Well, yes."

\item[Paladin 2:] ``But it's such a little Dragon."

\item[Paladin 3:] ``Aw, these guys are wimps!  Heck, I once had a character that
	    killed 23 Bahamuts!"

\item[Paladin 1:] ``Nothing to brag about, old sport."

\item[Paladin 3:] ``Well, that was before I got my Nuclear Chainsword +50."

\item[Dania:] ``Uh, MIGHTY warriors, I am most distressed that my brave rescuers are
	lying in puddles on the floor." (Bats eyelashes.)

\item[Paladin 3:] ``Do we wanna spend spell points on them?  I mean, they're not
	    even in our party."

\item[Paladin 1:] ``Tut!  Least we can do."
\end{description}

(Flash!  All unconscious characters now have 1 hit point.)

\begin{description}
\item[Razuli:] ``Owwwwww\ldots.."

\item[Kortul:] ``Is it dead?"

\item[Rourk:] ``Yes, and may I introduce you to The Three Who Do?"

\item[Paladins:] (Stand upright and look majestic.)

\item[Navero:] ``I got soot in my eyes."

\item[Dania:] ``They aren't very healed."

\item[Paladin 1:] ``Here, now!  We must conserve our energies for the upcoming
	    battle with our great nemesis!"

\item[Rourk:] ``Who is\ldots?"

\item[Paladin 3:] ``Alive, but we'll do something about that!"

\item[Paladin 2:] ``He imprisoned us within the globe!"

\item[Paladin 3:] ``We never even got the experience for killing Asmodeus that last
	    time!"

\item[Razuli:] ``It's dead!  Yippee!  I killed it!" (Brandishes new sword.)

\item[Paladin 3:] ``With that?  That's just +1, +4 vs. Reptiles.  Why would you want
	    such a wimpy little sword?  No wonder you guys got thrashed; how
	    long have you been playing, anyway?"

\item[Razuli:] ``Plus WHAT?  Playing?  What are you talking about?"

\item[Paladin 1:] ``Your sword's special purpose is the slaying of reptilian horrors."

\item[Razuli:] ``Oh, neat."

\item[Paladin 1:] ``*Harumph!*  Well, we must go to prepare for the upcoming battle!
	    Good luck to you, brave souls!"
\end{description}

(*POOF!*   They vanish.)

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Good riddance."

\item[Rourk:] ``Indeed.  From the looks of all of you, their healing truly was the
	least they could do."

\item[Navero:] ``Who were they?"

\item[Dania:] ``The Three morons.  Now let's\ldots"
\end{description}

(*POOF!*)

\begin{description}
\item[Paladin 1:] ``Yes, what is it?"

\item[Dania:] ``Huh?"

\item[Paladin 2:] ``The Three appear whenever The Three are called!  Do not call us
	    again unless we are needed!"  (They look displeased.)

\item[Paladin 3:] ``Neat, huh?  The DM said we could do that when we hit 50th level."
\end{description}

(*POOF!*)

\begin{description}
\item[Razuli:] ``Those looked like some very powerful idiots."

\item[Rourk:] ``I'm afraid I find myself agreeing with you.  This is truly a dark day."

\item[Razuli:] ``Of course you agree with me!  I mean, it's the only sensible thing
	 to do.  How much money did we get?"
\end{description}

	We counted the loot; it came to a very large amount.  In addition, we
found three necklaces (none magical), four rings (one magical), two swords
(Razuli's and a two-handed sword, both magical), the staff and book, and a
lot of non-magical gems.  Right then it was early afternoon; with luck we
could make it back to the keep by nightfall.  Placing the most valuable items
in our pockets, we filled our packs with as much gold and electrum as we
could carry, and left.  Or at least, we tried.  What we did do was discover
the source of that cracking heard during the Dragon battle --- it was the
bridge over the lava pit breaking up.

\begin{description}
\item[Kortul:] ``Shit."

\item[Rourk:] ``This is highly annoying."

\item[Dania:] ``Ok, guys, what do we do?"

\item[Razuli:] ``Simple!  We take the lightest person in the group, and throw her
	 across with a rope around her waist, then\ldots"

\item[Dania:] ``Shut up, Raz."

\item[Navero:] ``I suppose we'll have to climb over.  Unless there's some way out 
	 from in here."

\item[Kortul:] ``Doubt it."

\item[Arlor:] ``Umm\ldots  Can we look?  At least?"

\item[Dania:] ``Fine.  Let's look."
\end{description}

(Prolonged search.  Prolonged mainly by Arlor.  No entrances found.)

\begin{description}
\item[Razuli:] ``I wonder how the Dragon got any food in here?"

\item[Dania:] ``Who knows.  Well, Arlor, hop to it."

\item[Arlor:] ``Um\ldots  Did you look on the roof?  Bet it's there, yup."

\item[Dania:] ``We can't fly.  Now get going."

\item[Rourk:] ``I would expect this cowardice from a dwarf."

\item[Arlor:] ``Then YOU go!  I don't wanna!"

\item[Razuli:] ``Arlor!  If you do it, you can have first choice of magic items."

\item[Dania:] ``No!  He'll take the staff, and I should have that!"

\item[Arlor:] ``I can't use it, ya know."

\item[Dania:] ``You'll sell it.  It's the most valuable thing.  You know how greedy
	these little hairballs are."

\item[Rourk:] ``I am inclined to agree.  But the sword is obviously worth far more."

\item[Arlor:] ``I don't like that either\ldots"

\item[Kortul:] ``Stupid.  Priest!  Get rope, iron spikes for Arlor."

\item[Arlor:] ``Umm.. I still don't wanna\ldots"

\item[Kortul:] ``Yes, you do."

\item[Arlor:] ``Umm\ldots"

\item[Rourk:] ``You do.  Now go to it!"

\item[Arlor:] ``Why do *I* gotta climb across!  It's dangerous!"

\item[Dania:] ``Because\ldots"

\item[Razuli:] ``Hey, where's Navero?"

\item[Dania:] ``Oh, no."
\end{description}

	They all ran to the lava pit.  Sure enough, there was Navero, about
halfway across, sliding along the wall on the little bit of crumbly ledge
which was left from the bridge.

\begin{description}
\item[Kortul:] ``Doing pretty good."

\item[Rourk:] ``I hope he doesn't get himself killed again."

\item[Razuli:] ``Watch out for that next step, Nav!"

\item[Dania:] ``Keep going!"

\item[Navero:] (Reaches entrance.)

\item[Razuli:] (Throws rope to Navero.  He misses it, it falls in the lava.)  ``It's
	Okay, we got more." (Navero catches second rope.)
\end{description}

	The treasure, and the party, was ferried over on ropes until all were
on the safe side.  Once there, we got the horses (which were still waiting
there) and rode back to town with as much speed as our ruptured bodies could
take, arriving just after sunset.  Navero went to the temple, and everyone
else went to the one tavern, where, for the most part, they all had a long,
uninterrupted sleep.


\begin{quote}
``I hope I never see another Dragon again as long as I live."

\ \ \ --- Dan Parsons
\end{quote}

\vspace{.2in}
\begin{center}
{\huge --- XVIII ---}
\end{center}


Very few mornings have been more painful than the next to which greeted our
heroes.  Actually, it wasn't even morning at all anymore, despite the early
hour at which they had felt compelled to turn in.  But, being awake, now was
obviously the time to go out and exploit their new-found wealth.

\begin{description}
\item[Razuli:] (Calls downstairs) ``Room service!  Breakfast!"
\end{description}

(Short wait.  Door opens.)

\begin{description}
\item[Maid:] ``Ya called for breakfast.  Can ya pay?"

\item[Razuli:] ``Yeah." (Flips her an electrum) ``Anything else you think you can do
         for me this morning?" (Looks her up and down, grins broadly.)

\item[Maid:] ``I don't think so, sir.  Breakfast in a few minutes."
\end{description}

(Another short wait.  Razuli inspects and cleans his crossbow.)

\begin{description}
\item[Maid:] (Opens door.  Has tray with steak, fruit juice, eggs.)

\item[Razuli:] (Points crossbow.) ``Big, isn't it?  Wanna feel it?"

\item[Maid:] (Leaves tray at door and leaves very quickly.)
\end{description}

	First things first: we paid off the moneychanger, and went to the
temple.  Not being believers, and having already used their services so
recently, we could only wrangle a Cure Serious Wounds for each of us.  We
then asked Dania to identify some of the magic items; this she readily
agreed to, as she was very curious about the staff.

\begin{itemize}
\item{Ring of Protection, +1}
\item{Longsword, +1, +4 vs. reptiles}
\item{Two-handed Sword, +1}
\item{Staff of Thunder and Lightning}
\item{Spellbook with 17 spells, 1st - 5th level}
\end{itemize}

	Razuli quickly claimed the Lizard sword, as he had been the one to
risk picking it up.  Kortul got the two-hander, and Dania the staff and book.
Arlor got the ring, over Dania's objection that she had the least protection
and so should get it as well.\\

	Then we each went our seperate ways, agreeing to meet again at the
tavern to discuss plans for the future.  The more sensible among us spent the
time resting and recuperating - there were quite a few hit points lost.  Some,
however, felt it necessary to do otherwise.

\begin{description}
\item[Razuli:] ``*Hic!*  I'm RICH!  Everbodee ges a drink onme."

\item[Tavern Master:] ``Sure.  That'll be 10 gold."

\item[Rourk:] ``Despite the obvious fact that we are the only ones here?"

\item[Tavern Master:] ``You not like it, sir?"

\item[Rourk:] ``Please, go right ahead.  You may feel free to bilk my inebriated
        servant out of whatever you wish."

\item[Razuli:] ``SERVENT?!  I'll hav yu k-no I am a DRAGULSLIPPER!"

\item[Rourk:] ``Mercenary, do not breathe on me again."

\item[Razuli:] ``I castraded a dragon!  Whoopee!"

\item[Rourk:] ``Rather difficult to do with a female dragon."

\item[Razuli:] ``Oh.  Gess it yelled for 'nother reason.  Ha ha HA ha hA!!"

\item[Tavern Master:] ``Care to have a drink on it sir?  15 gold."

\item[Razuli:] ``I CANN BEET UP-PTHH ANYBLOODY IN THISH BARR!!"

\item[Tavern Master:] ``Should I put him to bed, Sir?"

\item[Rourk:] ``No, good fellow.  His antics are amusing."

\item[Razuli:] ``I CUN BEET UP U!"

\item[Rourk:] ``I'll wager that stag head is shaking in it's mountings."

\item[Razuli:] ``Bedder be.  I'm a DRAGOHMSTIFFER!  Tink i'll drink to dat."

\item[Tavern Master:] ``Here you go.  That'll be 25 gold."

\item[Razuli:] ``Shanks.  Yur a good fella.  Do u k-no what I did?"

\item[Rourk:] ``Yes.  Soiled your armor."

\item[Razuli:] ``Beside that.  I\ldots. am a DRAGIMSPLAYER!  I'm a buff dude!"

\item[Tavern Master:] ``Yeah, great.  You sound like you could use a drink."

\item[Razuli:] ``No phanks, I'm walking!  Hee hee heh he HEE HeE hEE hEe heE" (THUD)

\item[Rourk:] ``I suppose you may put him up now.  And also, remember those who do
        the title Dragonslayer it's proper office."

\item[Tavern Master:] ``I'll try, Sir.  Good night."
\end{description}

	Dania returned to her master's house after her own rest, with the 
idea of some more studying (We were all pretty sure we had gotten enough
experience to go up a level from killing the Dragon.)  She went into the
house, and was taken to his workroom, where she saw the brain suspended in
some bubbling golden fluid, with wires attached to it.

\begin{description}
\item[Master:] ``Welcome, apprentice.  You have done well."

\item[Dania:] ``Thanks.  I thought you might like it."

\item[Master:] ``Did you, now?  You presume to know my mind?"

\item[Dania:] ``No!  No, never, Master!  It's just that these aren't, uh\ldots common."

\item[Master:] ``Hmph.  Ah, well.  It was good you found one within range.  Was it
         living out in the swamps?"

\item[Dania:] ``Yes, it was."

\item[Master:] ``Getting one this recently dead {\em is} a rare thing.  Although your
	 excision shows you have little skill in handling a knife.  In the
	 future, you are to concentrate on improving that."

\item[Dania:] ``No problem."

\item[Master:] ``You may go now.  Clean the laboratory on the first floor.  And have
	 care to get under the tables."

\item[Dania:] ``Yes.  Bye!" (Scampers off.)
\end{description}

	Things went on in this vein until the next day, when, with a shriek
like that made by a tachyon being violated by a meson, Dania was suddenly
drawn into the Master's workroom.  The brain still floated in it's tank,
everything seemed normal, but with a glance she could tell Master was angry ---
VERY angry, but about what she didn't know.

\begin{description}
\item[Master:] ``You, and your friends: where exactly did you get this?"

\item[Dania:] ``Uh\ldots  from a Dragon.  In the swamp.  In a cave."

\item[Master:] ``Was it, by any SMALL chance, a Red Dragon named Lentic?"

\item[Dania:] ``Uh, we weren't, uh\ldots introduced."

\item[Master:] ``No.  You simply went up and beat on it, didn't you, with swords and
         things?  Yes, I see.  And liberated Them through sheer clumsiness!"

\item[Dania:] ``Them?  You mean those idiots?"

\item[Master:] ``Yes.  Those idiots.  Observe, prestidigitator."
\end{description}

	A basalt slab which had been on one wall cleared, and Dania saw The
Three standing outside the house.

\begin{description}
\item[Paladin 1:] ``Right!  Here we go, now!"

\item[Paladin 3:] ``I'm gonna kill him!  Dibs!"
\end{description}

	Three swords rose up, and three swords came down, smashing the
outside wall to splinters of foul-looking wood.  The Three entered, and
arrogantly walked down the hall outside the first floor library, and into a
hall Dania had been told never to enter.  After about 10 feet or so, a pit
opened beneath their feet, and they fell into a pool of acid.  They quickly
dissolved, and the liquid was siphoned off and poured into a Sphere of
Annihilation, gone forever.

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Well, that took care of it."

\item[Master:] ``Wait\ldots"
\end{description}

	The swords had not dissolved, but instead sank to the bottom.  As
they watched, they rose up into the air, and The Three re-formed out of
shining mist.

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Shit!"

\item[Paladin 2:] ``Say, why don't we try a different approach?"

\item[Paladin 3:] ``Yeah, I'm sick of traps.  They're boring."

\item[Paladin 1:] ``Right, then.  Let's go back, and get the heavy artillery."

\item[Paladin 3:] ``YEAH!  He'll never know what hit him!" (Cackles in a most
            un-Paladinish fashion.)

\item[Master:] (*Sigh*) ``Do you have any IDEA how much trouble it was to get them
        into the globe in the first place?"

\item[Dania:] ``Lots?"

\item[Master:] ``Apprentice, there is one thing you can do."

\item[Dania:] ``What is it, Master?"

\item[Master:] ``Say, `oops.'"

\item[Dania:] ``Oops?"

\item[Master:] ``Yes, very good.  Wonderful last words." (Makes an arcane gesture\ldots)
\end{description}

\begin{center}
{\Huge VADABLAM !}
\end{center}

%VVV   VVV   AAA   DDDDDD     AAA   BBBBBB   LLL       AAA   MMM   MMM  !!!
%VVV   VVV  AAAAA  DDDDDDDD  AAAAA  BBBBBBBB LLL      AAAAA  MMM   MMM  !!!
% VVV VVV  AAA AAA DDD  DDD AAA AAA BBB  BBB LLL     AAA AAA MMMM MMMM  !!!
% VVV VVV  AAA AAA DDD  DDD AAA AAA BBBBBBB  LLL     AAA AAA MMMMMMMMM  !!!
%  VVVVV   AAAAAAA DDD  DDD AAAAAAA BBB  BBB LLL     AAAAAAA MMM M MMM  !!!
%   VVV    AAA AAA DDDDDDDD AAA AAA BBBBBBBB LLL     AAA AAA MMM   MMM
%    V     AAA AAA DDDDDD   AAA AAA BBBBBB   LLLLLLL AAA AAA MMM   MMM  !!!



\begin{description}
\item[Game Master:] The whole house shakes.  Your Master, who never got a chance to
             complete his spell, is sprawled on the floor.  You have been
             thrown conveniently near an exit.

\item[Dania:] (Runs.)
\end{description}

	Dania dived out of a window and landed in the street.  Everywhere,
there were explosions and concussions and flying bits of building.  She got
up to run, when she ran into one of the paladins.

\begin{description}
\item[Paladin 2:] ``Hold, vile\ldots wait a moment!  You look slightly familiar."

\item[Dania:] ``Uh, it's me!  The damsel in distress, remember?"

\item[Paladin 2:] ``Oh, a damsel in distress!  You must be a maiden princess held
            captive by that nefarious sorcerer!  Oh, how romantic!  Fear not,
            gentle dove!  I shall save you, and bring justice to your cruel
            oppressors!  AVENGE your honor!  Return you to your pining family
            who even now search for you everywhere!  GOD, THIS IS THE LIFE!!"

\item[Dania:] ``Uh, right.  What's THAT thing?"

\item[Paladin 2:] ``This?  But a Surface-to-Air Missile launcher.  But hold!  My
            companions call to me!  The evil magician is gone, having fled
            his chambers of power, to power to other chambers, no doubt!
            We must pursue him wherever he goes, for that is our destiny!"
\end{description}

(The streets light up as a missile tears open a hole in a nearby house.)

\begin{description}
\item[Paladin 2:] ``Oops!  Oh, well.  It is nothing next to the banishing of evil."

\item[Dania:] ``Uh, thank you for rescuing me, kind sir, I believe I'll go someplace
        and hide right now, bye!" (Flees)
\end{description}

(Passes Rourk and Navero, who are coming to see what is going on.)

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``JUST RUN, YOU IDIOTS!!"
\end{description}

(Navero and Rourk look up the street, and see an M-1 tank rolling towards
them, blasting out buildings.  They run.)\\

	Somehow, after a good deal of running around and screaming, the party
managed to assemble itself outside the tavern.  We all went inside, and saw
a very familiar looking town official and about 15 town guardsmen.  They were
talking to the tavern master, and didn't seem to notice us, so we decided not
to disturb them, just go upstairs and get the money and stuff we left up in
our rooms\ldots

\begin{description}
\item[Official:] ``*!)> YOU!!! <(!*"

\item[Party:] ``us?"

\item[Official:] ``GET. OVER. HERE. AND. HAVE. A. SEAT. IF. YOU. PLEASE."
\end{description}

The guardsmen all looked rather peeved, and didn't seem to like us.  We sat.

\begin{description}
\item[Official:] ``Would any of you just HAPPEN to know anything about THREE PALADINS
	   who are wandering our streets committing mayhem?"

\item[Dania:] ``Us?  Oh, no no no."

\item[Razuli:] ``What a silly question!  What have you been smoking?"

\item[Navero:] ``Uh, *ow!*" (Dania drives her staff into his foot.)

\item[Guard 1:] ``Why won' yu le' 'im speak, yur li'l wizzerdship?"

\item[Official:] ``Never mind.  I think you do know.  But I realize that it probably
	   isn't your fault they are here.  I have heard of The Three; they
	   are as powerful as they are stupid, and not to be swayed by any
	   mortal's wishes.  Nothing stops them, not even common sense.
	   Probably just an acquaintance, brief and fleeting, as I doubt you
	   have much to do with such cosmic beings.  As such, there is very
	   little we can legally do to you."

\item[Guard 2:] ``How about, `illegally', your Lordship?''

\item[Official:] ``We do not do such things.  Is any of what I have said true?''

\item[Razuli:] ``Well\ldots''

\item[Dania:] ``Yes, it is.  We met them in the Dragon's cave, and we parted company
	immediately afterwards.''

\item[Rourk:] ``We have, easily, as low an opinion of them as you yourself seem to.''

\item[Official:] ``Good.'' (Brings out some papers.) ``So, you are the closest living
	   thing to a Friend they have, and so can be considered next-of-kin,
	   which of course makes you liable for any damages they do.''

\item[Dania:] ``WHAT?!?''

\item[Official:] ``Naturally, we have already confiscated those goods of yours we
	   found on the premises, and you will be expected to remain here
	   and do community service work until the debt is paid, in full,
	   with interest as applies.  Guards?''
\end{description}

	The conversation degenerated after that.  Kortul kicked the official
in the groin and threw the table into the guards; Dania cast a Sleep spell
into the main mass and dived out the window.  Arlor dived out after her.
Razuli decided that would be a good idea, too.  Kortul went to keep them
company.

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``WILL YOU ALL GET *OFF* OF ME!!''

\item[Arlor:] ``Sorry.'' (Thump!)

\item[Kortul:] (Runs for stables.)

\item[Razuli:] ``Arlor!  Get a good look up her robe?''

\item[Dania:] ``Fuck off, Razuli.''

\item[Arlor:] ``Actually, I did\ldots''

\item[Dania:] ``AAHHH!!!''  (Tries to kill Arlor with her staff.)

\item[Kortul:] (Brings out horses.) "Let's GO!''

\item[Dania:] (snarls) ``When I get my hands on you\ldots''

\item[Razuli:] ``You'll what, show him some more?''
\end{description}

(Meanwhile, back inside\ldots)

\begin{description}
\item[Navero:] (Hiding under a table.)

\item[Rourk:] ``Ha!  If you think that I would surrender to'' *CLANG!* (Chair comes
	down on his helmet.) "\ldots right.  Priest!  Let's be off!''

\item[Navero:] ``Uh, I'm sorry, but I think we must be going.  Your request is unjust
	 and unreasonable.''

\item[Official:] ``*stop them!*"
\end{description}

(Navero makes it out the door, Guards right behind him.  Rest of party rides
around, Dania Sleeps more Guards.  Rourk jumps onto his horse.  Navero climbs
onto his horse.  Guardsmen on horses arrive and start chasing the group.)

\begin{description}
\item[Horseman:] ``Halt, in the name of law and order!"

\item[Navero:] ``Faster, Kumquat!"

\item[Arlor:] ``You named your horse Kumquat?"

\item[Navero:] ``Well\ldots he's the right color."

\item[Dania:] ``That's a mare, Nav."

\item[Navero:] ``A what?"
\end{description}

	\ldots And so, our heroes rode off into the sunset, pursued by the local
law enforcement authorities.  Eventually, as the sounds of distant explosions
became only a fading memory, we bravely set forth to see what the next town
would be like.


\begin{quote}
``I've never been chased by the police before!
  Gee, this is kind of exciting!"

\ \ \ --- Dan Parsons
\end{quote}

\vspace{.2in}
\begin{center}
{\huge --- Navero XIX ---}
\end{center}


We continued to ride for a long time.  This was not due to the guardsmen -
they left us after the first couple of days, and rode back to Swamp Keep.
Rather, we wished to put as much distance as possible between ourselves and
the Paladins.  The Three were obviously far beyond our capacity to survive;
and if they considered Dania's master an enemy worthy of ``heavy artillery,"
we didn't want to run into him either.  He had seemed just a trifle annoyed
at us for killing his dragon and letting them loose.  We rode on, to the
north and west.  On the journey, we all saw to it that Dania explained just
what was going on with them.

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``\ldots and so anyway, I was apprenticed to the guy\ldots"

\item[Rourk:] ``You would associate with such an individual as THAT?  I wonder that
        he didn't send you about town, digging up graves or such ghoulish
        activities.  What was it that you were doing with the brain, little
        mage?  Your capacity for greedy immorality astounds me."

\item[Razuli:] ``Actually, Captain Whitebread Sir, I hope you aren't forgetting all
         those women and children you guys killed."

\item[Rourk:] ``They were Orcs and deserved no less.  They are like a cancer, and
        must be cut away."

\item[Dania:] ``Listen!  Then, when the idiots showed up and attacked, the bastard
        tried to kill me, so I ran."

\item[Navero:] ``I would expect no less, if this individual is as you describe him.
         On those occasions when evil wears its own face, you should be able
         to recognize and avoid it."

\item[Dania:] ``Yeah, Nav.  It was stupid, but he was the only wizard in town.  
        Except for a bunch of lunatics."

\item[Razuli:] ``You mean the Purple Polka-Dot Magicians?  We had them in my home
         town.  At least 'til we burned 'em all at the stake.  That was fun."

\item[Dania:] ``Oh, please.  Why does everyone burn mages?"

\item[Rourk:] ``Because warriors can defend themselves.  Mages, being so vulnerable,
        are constantly exposed to the viciousness of the rabble.  In this
        regard, it is notable that all true nobility is comprised solely of
        warriors.  No others possess sufficient strength, fortitude and
        grace to rule."

\item[Razuli:] ``Strange attitude for a darkie.  I thought the women were tops in
         your place, Rourk?  Women WIZZERDS and PRIESTESSES?"

\item[Rourk:] ``There are, of course, exceptions."

\item[Razuli:] ``Maybe the darkie women were ugly enough to scare you away, and
         traumatized you."

\item[Rourk:] ``Bite your tongue, Human!  Their grace and beauty could never be
        matched by your pitiful species."

\item[Razuli:] ``Then why are you up here?"

\item[Rourk:] ``I refuse to speak on that.  Silence."

\item[Razuli:] ``Admit it!  You came up here looking for a good fuck, didncha?"

\item[Dania:] ``Raz, shut up.  You're annoying the hell out of me."

\item[Kortul:] ``And everyone else.  Quiet, all of you."

\item[Rourk:] ``When did you have permission to give orders?  Please stand downwind
        of me when you open your mouth.  This, mercenary, is a typical
        example of humanity: filthy, unsophisticated, incapable of even the
        simplest of tasks\ldots"

\item[Kortul:] (grrr\ldots.)

\item[Rourk:] ``\ldots having no regard for others, probably even mistreats members of
        his own family!  Disrespectful of his betters\ldots"

\item[Kortul:] (GRRRR\ldots..)

\item[Rourk:] ``\ldots uncouth, uneducated, insensitive and impatient\ldots"

\item[Navero:] ``STOP IT!!  Why are you DOING this?!"

\item[Razuli:] ``Oh, jeez, not again\ldots"

\item[Navero:] ``Will you please stop this?  Why do you all hate each other so much?
         I don't see how you can hate each other so much, you haven't done
         anything BUT hate each other!  WHY!?"

\item[Rourk:] ``Priest, we can hardly be said to hate one another.  These others
        simply amuse themselves with childish name-calling.  Think nothing
        of it, for it is of no consequence."

\item[Kortul:] ``Childish, yes."

\item[Rourk:] ``Did you intend some insult with that, o great slab of underdone
        Orc fodder?  Perhaps you even meant I?"

\item[Kortul:] ``Meant EVERYONE.  Either shut up or split up."

\item[Dania:] ``Nav, forget about it.  We're all just stressed from having to run
        out of town so fast, okay?  Don't worry.  It'll blow over.  And we are
        not splitting up."

\item[Navero:] ``Well\ldots  It just seems like\ldots this is like every other time we're
         together, only worse.  Everybody seems so angry.  Maybe it would be
         better if we seperated, if being together makes everyone so mad."

\item[Razuli:] ``Dania's just mad 'cause Arlor looked up her robe."

\item[Dania:] (Swings at Razuli, misses)

\item[Razuli:] ``Ha!  And Rourk's mad 'cause he had to run from\ldots"

\item[Rourk:] ``THAT will be QUITE enough, mercenary!  From here, we shall travel in
        silence.  Unless others voice objections\ldots?"

\item[Arlor:] ``I wanna go home."

\item[Dania:] ``I'm not going with him.  I'm not crawling into some smelly hole\ldots"

\item[Razuli:] ``I don't like smelly holes either.  You should bathe more, Wizzerd.
         Especially after riding horses."

\item[Dania:] ``Oh, fuck off, asshole."

\item[Razuli:] ``Wrong hole.  (Sings) She's back in the saddle, again\ldots"

\item[Kortul:] (Bashes Razuli over the head with his sheathed two-hander.)
        ``Enough.  You annoy even me.  Shut up."

\item[Razuli:] ``Owww\ldots"
\end{description}

        The remainder of the day was mostly spent in glum silence.  No one
spoke much, although some angry glances were exchanged.  Nothing of note
occurred that day, except for a curious incident which had no direct affect
on us.  We heard a scream or keening from the sky, and looked up to see some
sort of flying unicorn, far, far above us.  (The DM later identified it as a
Ki-rin.)  It was flying eastwards very rapidly, when a bolt of blackishness
shot out of the western skies and hit it, and it disappeared.  About 15
minutes later a shimmer of golden particles wafted gently down, and vanished
in sweet-smelling vellities when they touched the earth.  We decided to
alter our course northwards.\\

        We set up camp early that evening; we all carried out our duties
alone, as we found one another's prolonged presence intolerable.  Navero and
Arlor stayed together, but did not speak much.  Dinner was traveling rations
and carefully strained and boiled water from a stale pool.  Rourk was on the
first watch, when we were attacked.\\

        First, a wild boar charged into the camp, with no warning and little
sound, and battered into Rourk.  Borne down by 300 pounds of angry pork, he
was lucky to get out a warning shout sufficient to wake the rest, as another
boar and a sow charged in.  Razuli stabbed the sow, and luckily killed it
with one stroke.  Kortul took to the second boar, while Rourk shoved his
boar away.

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] ``Slaughtering pigs.  My mood is poor enough as it is."

\item[Kortul:] ``Shut up and swing."

\item[Rourk:] ``You presume to\ldots  ah!" (Watches his swords bounce off the boar.
        Boar almost seems to laugh and tears him with a tusk.)

\item[Dania:] ``Incoming!"

\item[Navero:] (Starts chanting.)

\item[Kortul:] ``Ha!" (Slices boar.)

\item[Arlor:] (Hides under a blanket.)

\item[Kortul:] (Is criticalled upon by boar.  Drops like a rock.)

\item[Razuli:] (Stabs Kortul's boar, does damage.)  ``Oink, you little bastard!"

\item[Boar \#2:] ``Fooolis huuman." (swings tusks, misses)

\item[Razuli:] ``How now, what how?  Talking piggies!"
\end{description}

(Two boars charge in, one as large as the first two, the other smaller.)

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Shit!  Wereboars!  Use magic weapons!" (Magic Missiles Wereboar \#3)

\item[Wereboar \#1:] (Misses Rourk)

\item[Wereboar \#2:] (Misses Razuli)

\item[Wereboar \#3:] (Hits Navero, who stops chanting and falls down.)

\item[Boar:] (Tramples Arlor.)

\item[Rourk:] (Hacking at Wereboar \#1 with normal weapons) ``Die, insult to nature!"

\item[Razuli:] (stabs Wereboar \#2, kills it.) ``Yee-ha!  Two little piggies!"

\item[Dania:] (Magic missiles Wereboar \#3.) ``Rourk, get a magic weapon!"

\item[Navero:] (Thumps Wereboar \#3 with non-magic mace.) ``Go away!  You smell!"

\item[Arlor:] (Crawls out from under blanket, stabs Boar.)

\item[Razuli:] (Kills Wereboar \#3) ``And the score, ladies and gentlemen, is:
        Amazing Studs, 3; Pork, 0!''

\item[Dania:] (Grabs Kortul's enchanted two-hander, looks comical trying to carry a
        sword larger than she is.  Ends up dragging it through the dirt.)
        ``Rourk, you idiot!''

\item[Rourk:] (Continues hacking and slicing.)

\item[Navero:] (Bashes at Boar with mace, hits Arlor.)  ``oops\ldots''

\item[Arlor:] (Stabs, kills Boar.) ``It's okay.  Yup, only my head hurts\ldots''

\item[Wereboar \#1:] (Misses Rourk, runs off into forest.)

\item[Dania:] ``Oh, great!  Rourk, that was a magic beast!  You couldn't kill it
        anyway!''

\item[Rourk:] ``Oh, hush, little mage.  I was belaboring quite well.  I refuse to
        lay hands on that clumsy carving knife, especially when it has so
        recently been in the possession of the odorous barbarian.  How is he,
        anyway?''
\end{description}

        Kortul, and everyone else, was healed back to health by Navero.  The
Wereboar did not come back, and we saw no sign of it again.  The rest of the
night actually proved quite restful.  We rode on, still not talking much, but
no arguments arose.  Late in the afternoon, we rode over a hill and saw
before us a city of great size; we asked a friendly roadside peasant, who
revealed to us that it was the local capital of the Empire.  \\

        (There are a string of capitals across the empire, each governing
the surrounding territories, and answerable to the Grand Poobah far to the
east.  This capital (I forget the name.  Call it Propyla) was third to the
last on the line.  The next one to the west was experiencing trouble with
local insurrections, we had heard; the westernmost was little more than a
town, out in the true wilderness, and very little news had come from it for
some time.)\\

        Having nothing better to do, we entered the city.  We immediately
encountered problems with the gate guards.

\begin{description}
\item[Rourk:] ``Hail!  We wish to enter your fair city in peace and friendship.''

\item[Guard 1:] (snif!) ``You come, all armed, into our midst, and speak of peaceful
         intentions, o MOST noble knight?"

\item[Guard 2:] ``Come now.  One must be understanding of these provincials."

\item[Guard 1:] ``Ah, yes.  Well, gentlemen and lady, if you would care to follow
          this man, you can be processed and given your chits."

\item[Dania:] ``Chits?"

\item[Guard 2:] ``New policy, madam.  Only instituted about 12 years ago.  I see
          that you do not visit often."

\item[Dania:] ``No.  What are chits?"

\item[Guard 1:] (sigh!) ``A chit is a token which shows that you have passed into
         the city through one of the gates after proper processing, and so
         cannot be arrested for an illegal entry.  It is a most convenient
         thing to have."

\item[Razuli:] ``Yeah.  C'mon, let's go!  I wanna see what your women are like!"
\end{description}

(We follow Guard 2 into a small room.  A very bored looking official receives
us, with all due pomp.)

\begin{description}
\item[Official:] ``Hullo.  Any valuables to declare?"

\item[Razuli:] ``You can see all we got.  Any problems with that?"

\item[Guard 2:] ``A more respectful tone, if you please."

\item[Official:] ``Right.  Ten percent tax on liquid assets transported across city
           boundaries.  Cash?"

\item[Razuli:] ``Fresh out."

\item[Official:] ``Sorry, we do not allow beggars to walk the street.  Good day!"

\item[Rourk:] ``Sir, do you insinuate that I am a pauper?  You insult me.  I demand
        an apology, or a response!"

\item[Official:] (Looks even more bored, if possible.) ``Yes, sir.  Good day!"

\item[Navero:] ``Well, we do have some money.  We won't beg if it's illegal."

\item[Official:] ``How much?  And would you mind wearing this ring?"

\item[Navero:] (Puts on ring.) ``I have 120 gold crowns, and some silver."

\item[Razuli:] ``Nav, you idiot!  Why'd you have to tell them that?"

\item[Official:] ``And you others?"

\item[Navero:] ``They have only pocket change, Mr. Official.  I am party treasurer."

\item[Official:] ``You trust all your money with one?"

\item[Dania:] ``Oh, absolutely!  We all trust ol' Nav!  He holds the party fund,
        until we distribute it."

\item[Arlor:] ``Yup!  We spent all our money.  None here."

\item[Official:] ``Oh, very well.  (Takes ring back.)  Twelve gold as entrance tax,
           6 silver chit tax, please wear the chit where it can be seen,
           you'll be arrested without it.  Good day!"
\end{description}

        (The Ring of Truth did not indicate any lies from Navero, mainly
because he was not lying.  The other characters did have only pocket change;
the remainder of the Dragon money, amounting to nearly 15,000 gp.  And Navero
was party treasurer; it was a position he elected himself to at that moment,
and it's sole purpose was tax evasion.  The morality of his activities is, of
course, open to question, but no one raised much of a fuss.)\\

(Afterwards, within the city proper)

\begin{description}
\item[Dania:] ``Hey, Nav!  Good going!"

\item[Navero:] ``Uh, thank you.  I guess."

\item[Razuli:] ``Good goin', kid!  You're starting to think like me, now!"

\item[Rourk:] ``Perish the thought.  His brain would fall out."

\item[Razuli:] ``Actually, it already did that once."

\item[Navero:] ``Uh, yes\ldots"

\item[Dania:] ``Let's go!  Maybe they have a magic shop!"

\item[Razuli:] ``Maybe they have a red light district!"

\item[Navero:] ``Uh, Dania?  Was that the right thing to do?"

\item[Dania:] ``Huh?  Sure.  No prob."

\item[Navero:] ``Well\ldots  I know the law can't always apply\ldots at least I think it
         can't\ldots but wouldn't society collapse if we all just casually broke
         laws whenever we felt like it?"

\item[Dania:] ``I don't see anything collapsing.  Do you see anything collapsing?"

\item[Rourk:] ``Not I.  It was no more than those churlish miscreants deserved."

\item[Navero:] ``Maybe we should go back."

\item[Razuli:] ``Are you sure they closed all the holes in your head?  Kid, they'd
         just arrest us and torture us all for days.  You wouldn't do that
         to your friends, would you?"

\item[Navero:] ``Well, I thought\ldots"

\item[Razuli:] ``Don't do that.  It's not your strong suit.  Do you want to have all
         of us put away, just 'cause you wanted to show off how clever you
         were?  That's incredibly selfish, Nav."

\item[Navero:] ``I'm sorry\ldots"

\item[Razuli:] ``Let's just go, Nav.  Tell you what: pay them later, in secret, okay?
         And then go confess to another priest or whatever."

\item[Navero:] ``Well\ldots"

\item[Razuli:] ``Great.  C'mon, let's go!"
\end{description}

        And so, we entered the great city of Propyla\ldots


\begin{quote}
``Was that just stealing that I did?"

\ \ \ --- Dan Parsons
\end{quote}

\end{document}
